Her intoxicating scent. Her flame-red hair. Lily’s silvery laugh floated across the courtyard to where his head was bent over a textbook.
Severus’s hand tensed, interrupting his note taking.
Breathe. In, and out. In, and out.
It wasn’t fucking fair. James Potter had bullied her for years, tormented her for spending time with him - and Severus fucked up one damn time and lost everything.
She hadn’t left his head. She wouldn’t speak to him, but he talked to her in his mind every night. They had the most beautiful relationship in his head.
Severus snapped the book shut and slunk away to the library, allowing himself one more glance at the striking witch. There had to be a way. He had to fix things.
*****
He spent much of his time in the Restricted Section nowadays. Poring over dark Potions, attracting nervous whispers from the other students as he committed page after page to memory. None of that mattered, though. She still wouldn’t speak to him.
It was here, in the Restricted Section, that Severus changed his life.
Thud.
The unassuming leather cover was sharp, and Severus hissed as it landed squarely on the top of his foot. He picked it up, scowling.
‘Of Minds and Memories: The Little-Studied Power of Legilimency’ read the title.
His brows furrowed. He was a Legilimens, if not a powerful one yet. He’d practiced in the Slytherin Common Room, boredly skimming through the shallow surface thoughts of his housemates. He shrugged and added it to his pile. Could be useful.
*****
This changed everything.
Severus’s breath came in shallow gasps as he lay in bed, mind exploding with possibilities.
His unfortunate dorm-mate would wake puzzled tomorrow, unable to recall the previous day’s Potions lesson.
She might never forgive him. But Severus could make her forget.
*****
He stayed in the damn tree all day, flipping through the pages of his new book, listening and watching from the corner of his eye for a sign of her hair.
Finally, she appeared, giggling as James Potter whispered something in her ear. Merlin, he missed her laugh. Hope filled his chest as he looked down at her fondly. He’d have that laugh back soon.
Severus closed his eyes. He knew her mind. Knew, from the book, where to search for the memory.
She was teeming with memories. Severus stayed still in awe, curiosity getting the better of him as he watched her like a movie. He recoiled as a particularly vulgar image of James came to the surface. Fuck that.
It would be deeper. He waded through the tide, searching for a dark glimmer in the sea of sparkling memories.
There. He winced as he heard it over again. Severus swept the memory into his own mind, cringing slightly as its sharp edges dug claws in his head. It was gone.
That was… incredibly easy.
He glanced around one more time. Would it be enough? What if there were something else - something deeper. What if she noticed the gap? And her time with James - would she give him up, now, to come back to Severus, who she didn’t know why she’d left?
Severus couldn’t imagine she’d never told anyone about the memory. If those remained, was that not just as bad as remembering the event itself? He should at least follow the threads. Delicately remove them. It would be less confusing for her that way anyway. His heart ached at the thought of a scared Lily, unable to recall why she’d told all her friends Severus had hurt her.
While he was there, he supposed he might as well be thorough.
A part of his mind warned him. Wasn’t it a bit overboard? It wasn’t what he’d meant to do. The book had talked about this - the urge to rearrange the puzzle to cover up the missing piece. He knew if he went too far, he could hurt her. He couldn’t remove her time with James, at the very least.
An idea hit Severus so hard, he felt her mind ripple around him. He couldn’t remove it - but how hard could it be to replace it?
He was in a blissful daze. Pictures of James floated past him, disconnected and fracturing in his head as he injected himself into her. Frowns turned to smiles as Severus brightened the skies of their time together, weaving new threads into her tapestry as he danced gleefully in her head. Closer than James ever would be.
He waded back to the surface, admiring his work. Admittedly imperfect, he’d lovingly pieced her back together, and the result was beautiful in its abstraction. What did it matter if it wasn’t perfect? It was simply his signature, his own unique style. No one else could do what he’d done, after all. He’d put her back together. The way she was supposed to be. The way she would have been if it weren’t for those much-regretted words. Anyways, it wouldn’t matter if she noticed something wrong. Severus would be there for her to lay her head on, a loving, steady hand for her to hold as she navigated her new reality. He’d always be there for her. And if he made a mistake again… well, he knew how to fix it.
He took one final, admiring look at his artistry before bowing out of her mind back into his own. Severus groaned as the full weight of her memories - and too many pictures of a naked James - hit his mind. His annoyance turned to satisfaction, though, as he realized what that meant.
It worked.
He glanced down. She wasn’t under the tree anymore. She must have walked away at some point. That was fine. She only needed to be close at the start, so he could reach her. She could walk away with James, unaware, while he basked in her mind - but now, now she’d come back. Right now, she’d be looking at James in horror as fractured images of his bullying resurfaced in her dazed mind. Soon, she’d run away. She’d seek out her best friend again - the only one who’d always been there for her. Severus closed his eyes with a blissful, carefree smile as he relaxed back into the branches. It would take time for her to find him. That was okay. All he had to do was wait. She’d come to him now.