chapter Four
seven years ago
“Hey Reggie”
“Hey”
“Brought you chocolate” James smiled and took my hand. He put the chocolate in my hand and smiled.
“I heard you and Sirius fought last week?”
“Yeah he can be an annoying git , he took my notes for our test this week and wouldn’t bring them back, just some bickering. But I love him we’re fine now”
“Yeah he can be annoying” We laughed
“Don’t tell him but…you are a lot less annoying” He smirked
…….
present time
“Hey regulus”
I turned around and saw him. James.
He still has his beautiful eyes, and this soft hair. He’s a lot taller now, but he still has that look in him. I remember how I used to call him the sun, I would never say that out loud of course but that’s how I called him in my head.
Me and Sirius were all alone in that house, in those dark rooms with these awful walls. Both of us had each other but we still had this cloud over us that blocked the light and kept us blue and miserable.
When James came to visit he brought Sirius’ smile back, he made us laugh and he filled our house with smiles and laughter. He brought the sun back and the cloud faded a little, his bright self was stronger than our parents' dark cloud.
Seeing him now is bittersweet, when Sirius left he left me a note, he told me that he couldn’t stand being in the abusive household anymore. When he left James left as well and I didn’t get to hear anything from him, he just disappeared.
“Hey James” I couldn’t look at him for too long, I looked at the floor instead.
I…I missed you” that actually made me angry.
“You know, I understand why Sirius left, even though it hurts, I get it. You could have contacted me, or give me a letter like Sirius did. I thought you were my friend, and you just disappeared.” I finished with angry tears.
“Regulus I’m.. I'm so sorry. When Sirius left everything happened so fast, he was in a very bad state, and with helping him and getting him settled in everything was just so messy. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you too. You deserve an explanation and I know it’s not an excuse but please know that I’m sorry, I’m so sorry reg”
I couldn’t look at him anymore. It was just so painful.
“I’m hoping that in time.. we can be… friends again?”
“I don’t know James, it’s even hard for me to look at you right now”
“We’ll take it easy, one step at a time. I really want to be in your life again. And hey, I promise to give you chocolate every day.” He laughed a little
I smiled at him shyly.
“I can work with that… but in one condition”
“Everything”
“I need some time before I see Sirius again, you can tell him you saw me but I’m still not ready to see him, it reminds me of too many painful memories and I’m not ready for that, not now.”
“Okay”
“Okay”
“Okayyyyy”
“Shut up James” we laughed.
….
Unknown(9:02 pm): hey
Me(9:03 pm): who is this?
Unknown(9:03 pm): oh shit I forgot you don’t have my number. It’s James, sorry.
Me(9:04 pm)pm: oh it’s fine you’re fine.
James(9:04 pm): how was your day?
Me(9:05 pm): It was okay, I saw a giraffe at the library today, did you know?
James(9:06 pm): ha ha you’re so funny |:
It’s not my fault that you didn’t grow at all. You’re still small…
Me(9:07 pm): you are just a giant.
James(9:07 pm): whatever you say honey
Me(9:08 pm): Did you just call me honey????
James(9:08 pm): goodnight
James(9:09 pm): honey.
I laughed and blushed a little. I never truly got over my crush on James, it just had to be hidden when he left and I had to face my parents alone. I don’t know if I can fully trust him again, but I can see that he is sorry. Maybe in time I can let him in again.
……..
Next day
“Hey Lils” I smiled as I got to the library. Having James's attention back is very nice, I'm still a bit wary though, I can't get attached too fast, I can get hurt again.
“James begged me to give him your number. I'm sorry if..”
“It’s okay, he was actually nice” I said shyly.
“Nice?” She laughed teasingly.
“Yeah Lily, Nice. I’m working don’t bother me”
“Okay babes” she laughed.
Two hours into the shift I heard his voice again.
“Chocolate?”
I turned around and yes, it’s James
“Always” I smiled
“How is your shift?” He asked
“It’s okay, nothing out of the ordinary”
“I’m glad, hey would you like to get ice cream with me after you finish here?”
“James it’s cold outside”
“So? Who doesn’t like to eat ice cream in the cold? Besides you can have my jacket, yeah?”
“Yeah James, okay” I smiled
Maybe it won’t be so bad getting close to him again, we’ll see.