chapter one
Love is a funny feeling, it's a desire that most people want, even me. Love can also consume you, you can love so hard, so strong and feel nothing in return. I think my brother is the only one who ever truly loved me, in the dark rooms in Grimmauld Place he was the only one there for me.
Sirius and I were inseparable, but we had to hide. We had this secret knock, and every night at eleven pm Sirius would come to my room and we slept side by side, I couldn’t sleep without him. There were times when I waited but he never came. I would come and knock at his door and sleep in his bed. Some days he couldn’t get up, his injuries too bad. Sirius was too stubborn for his own good, he would argue with our parents to the point when I couldn’t see his face, everything was covered in blood.
Today is November third, Sirius is twenty two and It's been six years since I last saw him. He ran away when he was sixteen and I was fifteen. He left me a note, said he couldn't deal with the beating anymore and that he was going to his best friend, James. James…. I always admired him, and hated him... and wished I was him. Sirius uses to tell me that James' parents were the kindest souls out there and that they passed it to their son. James used to come to our house to play with Sirius, until our mother forbidden it too.
The first time I met James he brought me chocolate, I didn't taste it before and it was the best thing I have ever eaten. He smiled at me and told me I had a nice smile and that if I want he can bring me chocolate everytime he comes to our house. "Aww sirius he is like a shy version of you" James used to say, he would tease me and try to make me laugh, he tried to bring me out of my shell as he used to say, but then it stopped. I didn't see him again.
When Sirius ran away, James disappeared from my life as well and I was feeling truly alone. my parents died last year, and since then I have all the house for myself. Kreacher used to come twice a day to keep me company, as our housekeeper but he stopped visiting and it was only me now, but tomorrow I'm moving.I decided to move to a new apartmant and start a new life, I don't know where Sirius is. It used to be only Sirius and Regulus, Regulus and Sirius, but now it's only me. Sirius abandoned me to the cruel hands of our parents, and I need to find myself again and finally be Regulus.
I know that I like to read, I like sweet tea, even in the summer and I want to get a cat. I know facts about myself, but I need to learn my real me, the kid that had to grow up too fast. I'm scared for tomorrow. Grimmauld Place is the only thing I've ever known, I was homeschooled after my parents saw the friends Sirius befriend in school. I don't know anyone, but I hope everything will be okay. Well, I don't need anyone anyways, I can be by myself just fine.
12AM the next day
The apartmant is small, but at least I can call it mine. It was the only thing I could afford, Sirius being the oldest one got all my parents money after they died, I gusse they didn’t change their will after he ran away. I was always the spare, or as my parents liked to call me the “wimp” that can’t speak for himself so it made sense they gave everything to him. I have an interview for a job at the local library in half an hour and I desperately need this job. Books are my entire world and I need money to pay the rent for my apartment. I talked to a girl named Lily on the phone and she sounded nice, so I hope I can get this job right.
I take a quick shower, and start to walk to the library. I don’t own a car and I don’t have the money for one. It’s a twenty minute walk and it’s a bit rainy today but it’s okay. By the time I get there I’m two minutes early which is better than being late anyway. “Hey, welcome to our library. How can I help you?” That’s probably Lily.
“I'm Regulus, we talked on the phone..”
“Yeah of course, hey I’m Lily so nice to meet you, come on I will let you meet the boss you will have the interview with her. Her name is Euphemia she is a very nice lady”
“Thank you Lily” I give her a small smile.
She knocks on the door and I can hear a small "cone in" from inside. “Hey Lily darling, how can I help you? Oh, are you regulus? for the interview?”
“Yes ma’am nice to meet you” “Oh just call me Euphemia, come sit down, thank you Lily” she smiled at her. “No problem, good luck”
“So regulus, tell me about yourself, why did you apply for the job?”
“ I always liked books, they are like my therapy in some way, and when I used to be bored or just in need of a distraction I always opened a book. When I heard that you are looking for employees I immediately felt that it would be perfect for me. I just moved to a new apartment and I want some new beginnings. I feel like this library can bring me some happiness that I’ve lost along the way. I’m free every day of the week and I would be very happy to work here.”
“Well Regulus, you look like a nice boy and we are in need of employees so welcome to the family! I will send you my email with all the information you need to know, if you need anything you can always come to me. Have a nice day, regulus.” “Thank you for the opportunity, have a nice day.”
And that’s when my story begins.