Chapter 3
It was Saturday - the night of Sam’s play. Harper couldn’t shake the feeling of unease, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. She stood in front of her closet, unsure of what to wear. Sam had said it was casual, but what did casual really mean?
Clothes lay in a pile on the floor as she debated each choice, frustration building. Her makeup had been applied and wiped away more times than she could count, her eyes growing tired with each pass. She tugged at her hair in front of the mirror, adjusting it one moment only to undo it the next with an exasperated sigh. Usually, getting ready didn’t take this long, but tonight felt different - she wanted to look her best.
It was still warm outside, the heat of the evening making the constant cycle of dressing and undressing feel even more unbearable. Finally, she settled on a white floral dress. It was short, form-fitting, and simple but it felt just right.
The theater was housed in an old, charming building. Harper admired the intricate details on the walls as she entered, and the interior was just as beautiful. Sam had reserved a seat for her in the front row. She felt a wave of self-consciousness wash over her as she walked toward it, as if all eyes were on her.
As the play unfolded, Sam’s eyes occasionally met Harper’s in the crowd. Each glance caught her off guard, sending a flutter through her chest. She tried to focus on the performance, but the brief moments of eye contact distracted her. There was a strange warmth that spread through her, and she couldn‘t quite place it. It was unsettling, this tug at her chest - something unfamiliar, but not quite threatening. The more their gazes met, the more Harper felt a slight unease, unsure of why something so simple had her heart racing.
Was she just happy to feel wanted again, even if just as a friend who had gotten a simple invitation or did she- the twinge in her chest when Sam was spun around by another one of the actors and pulled into a kiss… it couldn’t be jealousy that she was feeling, right? She couldn’t be liking a woman, a much younger woman no less. She told herself it was the ‚staged‘ love she was jealous of and not the man who had captured Sam‘s lips. It wasn’t real anyway… but why would the beautiful young woman not have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? But then again, Sam had never mentioned having a partner.
The play ended and Harper applauded along with the rest of the audience. Sam smiled at her and Harper felt her face returning it. The flutter in her stomach set her into panic again. This had to stop, she would just end up heartbroken again. What was she even doing here? Befriending a twenty year old woman while she herself was nearly forty.
„Did you enjoy it?“ Sam‘s voice came from next to her.
Had she gotten distracted again? „It was amazing, especially your performance.“ Harper responded quickly, yet she couldn’t stop thinking of her newest revelation.
Sam’s face lit up and she threw her arms around Harper who tensed up a little before melting into it and wrapping her arms around her as well. Sam‘s embrace was warm and Harper felt a wave of emotions overcoming her. Like the gates to her heart had reopened.
“Come on, let’s grab a drink.” Sam took Harper’s hand. Had she always been this touchy?
“What about your friends? Don’t you want to have a drink with the other actors?” Harper hesitated, not wanting Sam to feel like she had to spend time with her.
“I’d rather do that with you.”
The response caught Harper off guard. She’d often wondered if Sam befriended her out of pity, and hearing her say that lifted a massive weight of doubt from her chest.
“Where do you want to go?”
“Your place. You mentioned it’s huge. I only have a small apartment.”
Harper swallowed. She’d been thinking of a bar, or maybe just a restaurant, but not Sam in her house. The panic she thought she’d left behind came rushing back, tightening her chest as though it might collapse in on her.
“If you’re sure… it’s not very cozy or anything yet. I haven’t really decorated.”
“I’m sure.”
About twenty minutes later, they arrived at Harper’s place. Sam seemed taken aback by the size and luxury of it.
“I need to visit you more often. You didn’t tell me it was this fancy.”
Harper shrugged. All the luxury in the world didn’t mean much if it only served to amplify the loneliness that echoed off the huge walls. “Come in.” She unlocked the door and stepped inside with Sam.
Sam wandered around, looking curious. Harper chuckled. “What do you want to drink?”
“Red wine.” Sam called out from the living room, where she’d already started exploring.
“Here.” Harper joined her, handing her a glass. “To your successful play.”
Sam smiled and took a sip. It tasted expensive.
As they settled onto the couch, the silence between them felt comfortable, yet Harper couldn’t shake the sense that something was different. Sam was always warm and friendly, but tonight, she seemed more… tactile. She leaned a little closer, resting her arm on the back of the couch, her fingers brushing Harper’s shoulder. It was casual, too casual almost, but it made Harper’s heart skip a beat.
Harper tried to ignore the feeling, sipping her wine and focusing on the conversation. “So, after today‘s play, what’s the plan?”
Sam turned her head toward Harper, a slight smile on her lips. “The director has some pretty big ideas for the next few weeks.”
Her gaze lingered a little longer than necessary, and as she spoke, her fingers brushed Harper’s arm again, this time, it wasn’t by accident. Harper’s pulse quickened, but she quickly tried to brush it off as just Sam being her usual friendly self.
“You seem really… invested,” Harper said, forcing a casual tone.
Sam chuckled, her fingers now lightly tracing the edge of her wine glass before setting it down on the coffee table. “Yeah, I’m passionate about it. But it’s not all just work,” she added with a glint in her eyes. She moved a little closer, her knee touching Harper’s. “It’s nice to unwind, too. Especially with good company.”
The warmth of Sam’s presence was undeniable now, and Harper couldn’t help but feel a flutter in her chest. Was this just friendly? Was Sam simply being affectionate, or was there something more to it?
Harper cleared her throat, trying to focus on the conversation again. “Yeah, it’s good to relax. Especially after the craziness of the play.”
Sam’s hand brushed against Harper’s knee this time, just a gentle touch, but enough to send a jolt through her. “I’m glad we’re doing this,” Sam murmured, her voice softer now. She looked at Harper in a way that made Harper’s stomach twist.
“Me too,” Harper replied, her voice quieter than before. She shifted slightly, uncertain of what to make of the growing tension between them.
Sam leaned in a little, her face just inches from Harper’s. “You know, you’re much more fun than I thought you’d be. I’m glad I came over tonight.”
Harper’s breath caught. Sam was close now, too close for comfort. She could feel the warmth of Sam’s breath, the subtle scent of her perfume. Was Sam flirting? Or was she just being affectionate in a way that Harper wasn’t used to?
“I-” Harper started, unsure how to respond, but Sam interrupted her with a soft laugh.
“I’m just teasing you,” Sam said. “Is it okay if I crash here tonight?“
“Yeah.“ Harper cleared her throat and stood up. “I‘ll show you to the guest room.“
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Harper lay in bed, the sheets tangled around her legs as her mind raced. The house felt eerily quiet now, the silence pressing in on her from all sides. She stared at the ceiling, the glow of the moonlight seeping in through the window, but it felt distant, like everything in the room was out of reach.
What had just happened? She couldn’t quite process it. Sam’s touches, her closeness - had it all meant something, or was Harper just reading too much into it? The way Sam’s knee had brushed against hers. The lingering looks, the casualness of it all that still felt so deliberate. She’s just being friendly, Harper told herself again and again, but the thought didn’t soothe her the way it used to.
Her mind kept replaying Sam’s smile, the way she leaned in, how her breath had caught so near. Harper had tried to laugh it off, tried to convince herself that maybe it wasn’t anything.
She ran a hand through her hair, pulling the strands back from her face. Get a grip, she told herself, but it was hard. She was alone now in the stillness of her room, and the quiet was only making it worse.
Harper closed her eyes, the memory of Sam’s touch burning behind her eyelids. It’s just friendship. It has to be. She couldn’t be falling for a much younger woman. A woman…
But maybe that was the issue. Maybe she was just too lonely. Maybe she was projecting more onto Sam than was ever really there.
Harper buried her face in the pillow, the weight of her thoughts pressing down on her. But there was nothing she could do now. She could only wait. And hope that, by tomorrow, everything would make sense again.