Petty and Pretty
Barty wouldn’t say he was petty.
But if someone were to ask if he had consciously been dating Sirius’ ex-girlfriends for the last four years, he would have to tell you that was true.
That’s how he knows that Sirius hasn’t been with anyone since last spring term and is spending a considerable amount of time with Remus Lupin, whose fucking lush and the only reason barty will ever go to the library.
At the start of second year, Barty had walked into their dorm to find Reggie curled up under his bed, lying on the floor swaddled like a baby in a blanket, sobbing his little heart out. He had asked why, even if they weren’t that close yet because even at 12 Reggie was distant and cold but he could see the tears streaking down his face and the way his bottom lip was wobbling.
“Regulus?” he had asked the strange boy he shared a dorm with.
Silence.
“I’m not blind or thick, I can see you, you know.”
Silence.
“Reggie…” he said, Barty had heard some of the Gryffindors calling Regulus that.
That’s when he finally heard a small whimper escape Regulus and he could see the way his shoulders started to shake.
“Shit,” Regulus Black definitely didn’t seem the crying type. He had literally thought Reggie wasn’t born with tear ducts, “are you crying?”
If this had been anyone else, he probably wouldn’t have cared all that much, he probably would have just run to tell Evan. But this was Regulus Black.
“Fuck off!” he had shouted in response, frankly Barty was shocked at how such a petite, little person could make such a loud noise. That’s also the reason he started laughing.
“Merlin, mate, didn’t know you could even speak that loud”
“Move.”
Barty had never been one to listen to authority or govern any kind of respect, but Regulus kind of drew it from him. His words were commands and Barty would have to be stupid if he didn’t listen.
“Yep, don’t worry I’ll move,” Barty said moving to sit cross legged on the bed as Regulus shimmied out.
“I’m not your mate,” Regulus stated.
“You should be, Evan thinks I’m fun.”
“I don’t do fun nor do I care what Evan has to say,” he said. Barty is very protective of his friends and as at the time Evan happened to be his only friend, he took this personally.
“You literally best mates with his sister,” Barty angrily said, “and no offence but the no fun parts pretty fucking obvious, you wet wipe.”
“Wet what?” Reggie had said, his eyebrows at his hair line.
“Wet wipe, it’s a muggle thing, but it means you’re pathetic.”
“A muggle thing, I’m sure Evan, your pureblood best friend, would love to know why you know about that.”
“He is not gonna believe you over me,” but even as he said it, he felt a swarm of horror flush through him.
A cruel look had come over regulus’ face, his chin was tilted high and his lips had curved into a small smirk as if he had something over Barty. Even with his tear stained cheeks and red eyes, he knew Regulus Black was not someone to fuck with.
“Evan happens to be my cousin and will indefinitely believe me,” he said, “so I’m willing to make a deal, you forget you ever saw me here… upset and I will forget you are close to muggles.”
That was the shit thing, he didn’t even really know any muggles. Yeah, his mum’s mum was one so anytime he went around there as a child he would watch muggle TV or read muggle books, just to pass the time.
Guess he had picked up some of the language too, probably why he swore so much for a 12-year-old too.
“No,” look Barty didn’t want to lose his only friend but he would be lying if he didn’t say he wasn’t deeply impressed and sort of enamoured by Regulus black, “I’m not gonna tell anyone you were crying anyway, alright?”
“I don’t trust you.”
“Right well, not that you don’t seem the trusting type,” Barty said sarcastically, “but I’m really not gonna tell anyone, I don’t care that much.”
He definitely did care that much; he was desperate to find out what could shake Regulus this much.
As it turns out it wasn’t a what more a who.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Fine by me, don’t.”
“So, if I tell Evan”
He cut Regulus off there, “you can tell him.”
Regulus blinks a few times then says, “are you delusional perhaps?”
Barty replies instantly with, “might be.”
Regulus stares for a second then his face goes blank, all emotion draining from it, not out of fear though, “Barty Crouch, a bit delusional, likes to throw paper balls at other students, is pureblood and is always annoyingly energetic but it’s not from sugar because at breakfast you only eat plain toast, your protective and you are also smart but you pretend not to be, am I right?”
“Junior,” he corrects.
“What?”
“Barty Crouch Jr,” he said, “that’s my name forget the junior and I’ll kick you so hard up the ass you will taste it.”
“…I can add two new things to my list on you.”
“Oh yeah, what’s the second?”
“Your oddly violent,” Regulus said.
“And your oddly good at blackmailing.”
“That was a deal I wasn’t trying to blackmail you,” he says.
But by the glint in Regulus’s eyes, Barty could tell it was definitely blackmailing.
“I like you; we are should be friends,” Barty states.
“I just tried to blackmail you,” Regulus stammers, he sounds astounded.
“I wouldn’t want to be your friend if you hadn’t, makes me like you more actually.”
“Did Evan blackmail you then?”
“No, me and him just understand each other,” Barty said because its true, they do. He doesn’t think anyone besides Evan Rosier will ever understand him, at least not like anyone else ever could.
“I don’t really have friends,” Regulus says his voice is so small in that moment Barty thinks if he isn’t careful, he could break the boy in front of him.
“So, you got Pandora, you got me, and your brother, right?”
His eyes widen at the last few words, “don’t have a brother anymore, me and him aren’t friends and neither are you and me.”
“Alright then, you and him aren’t friends or brothers but you’re stuck with me now.”
“I don’t think I know how to have friends,” he says.
“S’alright, mate,” Barty says, “I’ll teach you.”
“I am going to regret this, aren’t I?” Regulus says rolling his eyes and the tears in them seem to have dried up.
“Course not, I’m fucking grand,” as he says it, he knows he will do everything in his power not to let Regulus regret this. Barty does happen to break a lot of thing, his family being one of the many but his friends he does not. When he said he was protective over them he also meant protection from himself.
He won’t let them close enough to be cracked and ruined.
Barty wants to dig a deep, deep hole and bury all who he loves there. Not to forget them just to treasure them, to keep them from arms reach.
And in all the years that have passed since that day, since he made friends with regulus, then pandora and finally let Dorcas close as well. Since then he lets himself be raw and unafraid with them, because he knows that his soul alone is the only thing that can repel his loyal friends.
All his violent outbursts, his mood swings, his manic laugh are all traits no one could ever love and he hope, merlin, he knows every time he does react, as such, it keeps them away.
All the parts of himself that are unlovable, are the only limbs he was born with, for the ones he has stolen from other people, the way Regulus stirs his tea, the way Dorcas holds her wand, the way Pandora hugs a person, the way Evan looks when he’s deep in thought, are all reasons his friends are so loved by him. All their little things.
That’s why when he saw the way Regulus looked and reacted at the mention of Sirius Black, Barty knew he hated his friends’ brother and would do anything to one up him or piss him off.
Hence, the girlfriend stealing.
That also happens to be the reason he is skipping his first lesson back at school since the autumn holidays, because he is smoking in the abandoned girls’ toilets with Alessia Keys, Sirius’ Ex-girlfriend.
She is pretty and he does also date girls he likes, it’s just sometime when the opportunity arises for him to go after Black’s Exs he takes it.
That’s not his fault.
Can’t blame a man for using the situation to be petty. This current situation thinks he’s “pretty” and fit in a “I want to fix you” sort of way apparently.
“Why do I have to roll?” Keys askes him as she grinds the bud.
“Because you’re a Hufflepuff and this is kind of your niche, right?” he replies.
He can roll just not well as Evan always does it for him and Barty guesses he could tell him to stop but it enjoyable to watch and makes Barty feel taken care of in a way he never was as a child, so, no, he won’t tell Evan not to roll for him anymore.
“That’s such a stereotype,” she said as she rolls her eyes.
He grins, “a true stereotype though.”
“Shut up,” she says giving him a glare but as soon as she speaks again, she’s smiling, “at least I’m not as bad a Ravenclaw.”
“What dropping pills at every party?”
“It’s not even just at parties,” she says, “like I was at dinner with my Ravenclaw friend, I don’t know if you know her brown?”
“Who names their child brown?” he laughs, “that’s fucking horrific.”
“that’s her last name, I assumed Slytherins just go off last names.”
He points at her, “you fucking hypocrite, that’s a stereotype”
“Yes, yes, anyways what was I saying, so summer brown, right,” she continues, waving her free hand at him, “we are just eating dinner, then she pulls out a little see-through bag and I’m like okay… and she opens it, puts a pill in her hand and takes it with some fucking pumpkin juice, I mean who does that?”
“Summer Brown apparently does,” he laughs, “I think I need to get to know her better.”
“Oh, my gods, actually shut up,” she says giggling.
She had said gods, she must be muggleborn at least.
Barty doesn’t care, his father probably won’t find out he’s with her anyway, but he does tend to go to fancy pureblood girls because when he’s found in a broom cupboard with her and it get back to his dad. Then it means he might get a howler or a least a punishment when he goes home, any bit of attention is wanted from him really.
“I know like all the house have like a thing like courage or loyalty and all that but like I really think that its just like illegal stuff each of the houses do like Gryffindor they drink at like all their parties, right? And Ravenclaws drop pingers and shit, Hufflepuffs smoke a lot and Slytherins commit crimes,” she rambles, she definitely right but…
“Slytherins do all those things too.”
“Yeah, I know but you guys are like… you ‘know do a lot of crimes and shit that’s kind evil.”
She passes him the zoot as he lifts his hips to reach the lighter in his back pocket.
He places the joint between his lips, “we actually aren’t even evil, it’s just a cycle, for example purebloods want to get into Slytherin because its ‘evil’, right,” the zoot moves as he talks and he lifts his lighter to start lighting it, “but its only evil because purebloods are there who believe in blood purity which is bad so then the cycle restarts and it give Slytherins a bad rep.”
He takes a deep inhale.
“True, true,” she looks sort of nervous as she asks, “but you don’t believe in that stuff, do you?”
Now that’s the fucking question, does he? who knows, if he’s honest, he doesn’t care who lives or dies, other than his friends. He’s selfish in that way.
He is not better than anyone. He’s scum of the earth but he’s pureblood so he has it easy, his two options are reject the blood purist views and be a hero and martyr all in one or accept them and have a easy life but be a villain is so many eyes.
He knows he will pick whatever side his friends do, where ever Evan is is where he will go.
Yet she’s muggleborn and he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable so he turns to her and says, “yeah I’m a weed- smoking deatheater who dates muggleborns, just what all good blood supremacists’ morals are.”
And thank any muggle god because she leaves it alone instead asking, “dating, are we?”
He turns to her she’s got the joint pressed between her lips and the gentle flame dances against her brown skin and creates halos in her hazel eyes.
She’s really fucking pretty; he will give black that he’s got good taste.
“Yeah,” he said, “aren’t we.”
“Yeah, think we are,” he watches her eyes dip to his lips. He likes it when people do that, makes him feel on fire.
Barty wants to kiss her and he’s nearly certain she wants to kiss him considering she’s quickly passing the weed back and forth, trying to finish it. He takes the last inhale, letting it burn his throat, letting it hurt.
Before he can exhale, she leans forward, harshly pressing her lips to his.
Her hands are balled into the front of his shirt, and he quickly moves his to her hair, like he need something to grab. He tugs harshly at her dark locks and a gasp escapes her.
At first, he thinks it was a mistake to pull her hair, most girls don’t like it so he normally has to just grip his thumb in his hands as he is desperately trying to be gentle not harsh, but suddenly she kissing him harder and pulling him closer.
He lets his other hand grab her waist, trying to restrain himself. Its not that he’s ridiculously attracted to her or any of the other girls. No, he just wants to be close, as close as he can get at least, that’s what he likes. He just needs to feel her close against him, it’s not even sexual because some nights he will sleep in Evan’s bed just to be near and to feel his skin against his.
He lets out a groan and she climb on top of him, straddling his waist moving her hips slowly.
Why does she have to go slow, if they are doing this, he needs it to be a lot, like overwhelmingly so.
She pulls away and rest her forehead against him as he reaches his hand up her shirt, pulling at her skirt waist band as an excuse to feel her, to feel warmth. Her breaths intertwine with his as she moves her hips more frequently.
She lowers her lips and begins to kiss across his neck, his pretty sure this will leave marks.
Good.
She gently runs her tongue in a spot around this ear and he moves his hips upwards as she lets out a breathy, feminine moan.
He lets his hand start to venture further, past her skirt and tights till he can feel the material of her underwear.
“Yes,” Keys says, “yes.”
And well Bartys never been one to let someone down so he dips his hand past the lace and cotton.
“Well what do we have here,” a foreign voice said, Keys squeals and practically throws herself off of him.
Fuck sake.
He sees professor Locke, the new DADA teacher, stood before them. He has a hand on his hip and an annoyed look on his face as if this has just ruined his day, Barty hopes it has.
He wishes the defence against the dark arts teachers curse kicks in right now and Locke drops fucking dead or something.
“Stand up miss Keys and you to Mr crouch,” the professor said sternly.
And purely to be an annoyance Barty said, “yeah, give me sec.”
He’s pretty sure he hears Keys giggle and Locke looks so fucking pissed of Barty considers sitting there for as long as it takes for the teacher to physical make him stand.
“Miss Keys I will step outside while you rearrange our skirt and Mr Crouch meet me outside,” said Locke, he is pointedly not looking at Alessia’s skirt.
The sound of the professor’s shoes clicks for a few seconds before the sound of the door opening then shutting. Barty instantly pulls himself up and practically prances towards to mirror trying to make his hair look messier as well as lowering his collar to show to pink marks that are progressively getting darker. Just to piss off the professor.
He hopes this will get back to his father, but if they go to Slughorns office it won’t as he has picked up on the fact that he was acting out to get in trouble at home and stopped writing to his dad. It worked for a while till Barty just realised his misbehaviour just had to be bigger and better than he literally had to write home.
As he walks out the room, he spares a glance at Keys who is bright red and desperately trying to fix her skirt and tights.