“Wait wait wait. You-” Dorcas pointed at Evan, “-think you would be Remus? You don’t even study?”
Evan scoffed, “That is one quality. One thing. Besides who else is there? I’m definitely not Sirius.”
Regulus snorted. Barty’s eyes were flying between Evan and Dorcas. He had no idea how this conversation started but it was fucking hilarious.
“No, because I would be, obviously.” Dorcas shook her head exasperated.
They all immediately turned to Regulus to verify this claim. Regulus, very drunk squinted at Dorcas, seemingly deep in consideration.
Dorcas stared at Regulus as if daring him to argue.
Regulus finally shrugged, “Sure.”
Dorcas winked.
“Wait, hold on!” Barty swung forward from where he had been lying against his bed. “It makes sense cause you both had the whole ‘i'm so in denial. I am going to go crazy hooking up with girls or blokes, respectively.’ To ignore the fact you are most terribly and utterly gay.”
Dorcas groaned, banging her head against the headboard. “Merlin, don’t remind me.”
Everyone started snickering.
Dorcas’s hand flew up wobbly from the fire whiskey. “I say this, ironically in a room of cock loving blokes, cock is absolutely disgusting.”
Evan’s whole body contorted into a ball on the floor, shaking so much from laughter. Barty couldn’t help but think it was adorable.
Regulus nudged Dorcas slightly, “Honestly, do not understand.”
Barty moaned playfully.
Evan sat up suddenly, “But if i’m not Remus. And you’re Sirius. Who am i?”
“The question of the ages.” Regulus hummed.
Barty stared at Evan, noticing how his cheeks were flushed, he smirked. “Pettigrew.”
Evan sputtered at him, “Pettigrew?”
Dorcas snapped her fingers at Barty, “You’re a fucking genius. It totally fits!”
Evan frowned, “I don’t even know him all that well. Just that he gets crazy drunk at parties and is constantly disappearing and reappearing in odd places.”
“Basically you then.” Regulus quipped.
“Oh shove off.” Evan grumbled.
Dorcas sighed, “Regulus is Remus. Do I have to say more?”
Evan and Barty grinned, shaking their heads.
Regulus smirked, “At least I got the sensible one.”
“And your brother's boyfriend.” Barty reminded helpfully.
Evan nodded seriously, “Very ‘Toujours Pur’ of you mate.”
Regulus glared and waved his wand lazily, but that just made Barty and Evan laugh even harder.
Laughing led to more drinks which led to more laughter until Barty had a thought.
“Hang on, does that make me Potter?”
Dorcas frowned in thought while Evan threw pointed looks between Barty and Regulus.
Barty glowered at him. “Oh fuck off.” One drunken mistake and Evan never let him hear the end of it.
Evan giggled.
But then Regulus spoke, sounding serious, “You are a bit similar.”
Barty looked at him, “How?”
Barty was over his crush on Regulus, but hearing his ex-crush and best friend say Barty was like his boyfriend? He was intrigued.
Regulus shrugged, “You are both the friend everyone goes for help and to rant. You both hate tense situations so you make jokes. You’re both smarter than you let on. And you’re both idiots.”
“He’s… not… wrong…” Evan wheezed through laughs.
Barty rolled his eyes at him, turning to wink at Regulus. “I’ll take it, Potter is fit as hell.”
Regulu’s eyes got that familiar sadistic gleam he got everytime Barty so much as implied anything flirtatious about James.
Barty had to quickly dodge the stinging hex thrown his way.
As the group slowly changed subjects, Barty thought about it more and more.
He had become the unofficial official emotional venting person of their group. Granted he was shit with emotions but apparently he is a good listener. He had no idea how it had started but soon it just became the rhythm of the group.
The only noticeable difference Barty could see were their parents. Jame’s parents were goodness incarnate while Barty’s father was the devil, and his mother too sick to have much of an influence.
Maybe Regulus was right.
Barty wondered if he had been born with parents like Effie and Monty, if he would have turned out like James. He frowned.
“You alright?” Evans had scooted over to Barty.
Barty smirked, “Worried ‘bout me?”
“Always.” Evan smiled. Leaning into Barty, he looked tired.
Barty leaned back. His crisis could wait. Evan was here and Barty wanted to live this moment with him.