What is in a Name?
Harry sat on the rug in the small study, a book in his hands. Severus didn’t particularly care for his habit of sitting on the floor, but Harry could only relax when he was on the ground and the rug in here was plush and warm. The Dursleys had never permitted him to sit on the furniture. Anytime he wasn’t in his cupboard, he was to stand off to the side, out of sight, but at the ready for any command his relatives might demand of him. Vernon had once beaten him bloody for falling asleep on the couch when he was left to do chores late at night and now any time Harry sat on the couch or chairs in Snape’s home he always felt on high alert.
The study he was in was small, hardly big enough to hold all the books and one of the cabinets had an extension charm on it to hold all of Snape’s less used books. Harry still felt guilty that Severus had needed to rearrange a room he so obviously cared about so that he could use his magic to create a room just for Harry. He still couldn’t believe that the room was his. It was much larger than his cupboard, but a little smaller than Dudley’s second bedroom. He had a loft bed to help conserve space, with a writing desk and a reading nook underneath. What little other space the room had was dominated by a wardrobe and trunk that both had extension charms on them and a slim full-length mirror on the back of the door. For someone whose prized possession was a broken toy soldier that he had nicked from the bin, Harry thought his room was better than anything he had ever dreamed of before. The door didn’t even have a lock on the outside!
Harry smiled to himself as he turned the page of the book he had been reading. Crookshanks had wandered in and was trying to nudge his way between Harry and the book to get attention. Harry set the book aside, snuggling into the orange cat’s fur. He had never had a pet before and was shocked by how fast the scrunch faced creature had warmed up to him. Harry had never had a birthday before either. Vernon had told him he didn’t have one. Severus had not only known when his birthday was, but had bought him presents!
His wardrobe had several sets of clothes that were easily mixed and matched (meaning a lot of it was black) and it was all even in his own size! He had several books on his shelves in his reading nook, although there was plenty of room to grow. He found he loved reading the short stories in the children’s books, even if reading often gave him headaches. Severus had even bought him glasses! Petunia had just grabbed a pair out of the charity bin at mass. He wasn’t really looking forward to more eye therapy, but the exercises Healer Mend had shown him did help him be able to read longer. The potions master consistently made Harry do them before bed, like clockwork. He was glad they did them before bed, because they always made him feel exhausted at the end.
But the best gift of all had been Snape saying he wanted to adopt Harry! He had been shocked when Severus had asked the goblins about adopting Harry. He had never had anyone actually want him around before. Snape didn’t just want to adopt him legally, he wanted to Blood Adopt Harry. A permanently binding method, that would make them family in both name and blood.
Most of the complicated ritual stuff had gone right over Harry’s head, but from what he understood, the blood magic used would make them biologically Father and Son. Not only that, but it would change Harry at a cellular level, making him appear as a completely different person. Nobody would recognize him, and the Dursleys would never be able to find him again! Not that, but they wouldn't be able to do anything about it if they did. Their claim on him would be completely dissolved by the ritual. But Severus had explained that there would be other people looking for him who might try to take him back to them.
Because of this, Snape had told him it would be better to change his name, legally during the ceremony. That was why he was stuck looking through this offal baby naming book on the floor of the study this morning. Harry had not been overly fond of his name before, let alone his full name, Harrison. It had been yelled at him so frequently and venomously that it had started to seem like more of an insult than an actual name. Even still he was having a hard time finding one that seemed like it was right either.
There was a light knock at the door frame and Harry looked up to see Severus standing at the entrance to the study still in his dressing robe. “What are you doing up so early?”
Harry set the grouchy-looking cat aside and held up the name book. “I can’t think of anything else I would like to be called. Can’t you just pick it?”
Snape rolled his eyes and moved to sit in his favorite reading chair. “I could do that if it’s what you want, Harrison.” Snape had almost immediately spotted Harry’s aversion to his nickname and started calling him by his full name instead. “But as this will be your name permanently for the rest of your foreseeable future, I think you deserve the right to choose.”
It wasn’t that Harry wasn’t grateful for the choice, it was just that he had never really had choices before. He had no idea how he was supposed to decide on something so important. “I don’t know. I don’t have much fondness for my name in particular, but even still… It was all I had of my parents for so long. I don’t want to lose that connection.”
Severus nodded in understanding, “I wouldn’t be asking you to change it if it was not needed for your safety. I know this change will be hard, but maybe something closer to your heritage will still keep the connection? Your mother’s family never paid attention to their genealogy, but the Potters were well known to be of Hindu origins. Maybe a name from his culture would be more suitable than the British names you have in that book.”
Harry nodded as he beamed up at the man. Severus waved off his gratitude with a flick of his wrist as if shooing a fly. “I can pick something up while I’m out. I have to leave after breakfast anyway. The headmaster has assigned me to look into your disappearance tonight. I won’t be home until late, but there are meals under stasis in the cabinets in the kitchen. The wards are secure and if there is an emergency the cat’s collar will act as a portkey directly to me.”
They read together for an hour or so before breakfast, and before he knew it Harry was left alone.
Harry fidgeted with his shirt hem. He never knew what he should do when Severus had to be gone for long hours. He could only read for so long. Sometimes he would clean the house to keep himself occupied, the familiar routine somewhat comforting, but if Snape came home to find he had spent the entire day cleaning he would get an odd look on his face like he was disappointed or angry. He always said he wasn’t mad at Harry, but he was constantly encouraging him to find some other hobby to do that was “fun.”
Harry snickered at the memory. Snape always looked so disconcerted at the notion of actually encouraging teenage frivolity. He sighed and went to the study to see if there was anything he could read. He perused the plethora of shelves, noting that most would be too big and wordy for him to read yet. He had already read through the books he had picked out for his birthday, and Severus preferred books with an extensive vocabulary…
Turning away from the intimidating tombs, he spotted the baby-naming book he had left discarded by the chair on the floor. Not wanting to leave a mess, Harry picked it up and took it over to the cupboard. He placed it in one of the many stacks of books in the expanded space but paused when he noticed a book near the bottom. The spine was gold with rich bronze lettering embossed into the old leather reading The Beast Within.
Carefully he removed it from the stack, making sure the three-foot stack didn’t topple over on him. The cover had a silhouette of a man standing in the middle of a collection of colorfully stylized animals. When he flipped through the pages he found that there were several diagrams and descriptive pictures in the same style. Delighted he carried the book over to his favorite spot on the rug to curl up and read.
***
Severus felt disgusted as he left the back alleys of Londen. Albus had ordered him to infiltrate a child trafficking auction he had somehow found out about in the hopes that he would be able to buy back his savior of the light. Snape had found the location alright, but he had immediately reported the place to the muggle authorities. He had bought a “burner phone” from one of the grungy stalls up the road and called dispatch, staying on the line long enough to report all the license plates of all the people leaving the “party” until the muggle Aurors arrived to raid the place. He was able to slip away in the chaos and was now heading to a nearby ethnic bookstore to buy Harry’s book before heading to Hogwarts to report his “failed” mission to the headmaster.
The door chimed as he entered the richly decorated library-like space. The bookshelves were a deep mahogany with hand-carved decorations between every column of books. The shelves along the walls were interrupted in regular intervals with rich tapestries depicting Hindu folklore with tables of nick-nacks below for purchase. Severus took his time perusing the shelves, letting the smell of books calm his frayed nerves. It was a muggle shop, so there were no books on potions that he would normally gravitate to but he did find a collection of books written on “herbal medicine” that listed some interesting properties of plants that might come in handy when developing new brews. He would have to check the validity of the claims, but that was half the challenge of any new concoction.
He found two books that had South Asian names and their meanings before slowly meandering over towards the children’s section. Harry, despite his struggles, was becoming an avid reader. He was still only able to read for about 20 minutes at a time before his eyes began to strain, but that was nearly triple the time he had started with. He had already read all the books he received for his birthday and was starting to read some of the smaller books in his study. It might just be that there was so little for the boy to do at such an isolated location, but he seemed to enjoy it nonetheless.
He picked out eight more books with slightly more challenging vocabulary and fewer pictures. Hopefully, they would hold his attention for longer this time. He was headed to the counter to purchase his selections when he noticed a display of puzzles with vibrant depictions of traditional tapestries and illustrations of Indian Scenery. He chose two of those and on a whim grabbed a colorful board game called Parchisi. He had just purchased his large armful of wares when he felt the wards on his potions lab alert him.
Worried that something might have happened, Snape hurried into a secluded alley to Apparate directly back to Dublin. He hurried into the cottage, leaving the bags in the entryway before rushing down to the potions lab in the cellar. He burst through the door to find Harry on his way out. The boy froze like a deer caught in a Lumos, his face cycling through startled, guilt, dread, fear, and finally some kind of dreadfully blank acceptance. The boy stared as if looking back in time. His stance rigid as if expecting a blow.
“What were you doing in here?” he asked softly. Severus didn’t even want to ask the question, too worried by the deadened look in Harry’s eyes.
Harry flinched and wrapped his arms around himself in a self-soothing gesture. “I-I was just reading a book in the study and it kept mentioning a plant that I thought I remembered being in here,” he mumbled, stiffly. “I just wanted to borrow a leaf to see if what it said was true, but I should have waited to ask. I’m sorry, sir.”
Harry sank to his knees and looked at the ground. The image was disturbingly like a man awaiting a sword of execution. His eyes grew even more fogged and Severus recognized the signs of dissociation. Not wanting to make matters worse, Severus lowered himself to the ground in front of the boy. “Harrison?”
The differentiation of using his given name instead of the shortened version his relatives had used during his abuse seemed to draw the boy out of whatever memories he had been swimming in. His eyes became a little more focused, but he didn’t respond. Severus tried again, “Harrison, it’s alright. I was just worried when I felt the wards alert me because I thought you might be hurt. There are a lot of dangerous things in this room. That’s why I don’t want you in here without supervision.”
Harry finally met his eyes, his own quickly filling with tears. “B-but I broke the rules! ” he cried.
Severus nodded, “I know. And there will be consequences for doing so, but Harrison, I will never treat you the way your relatives did. I will never confine you to your room, take your food, or strike you in any way. Do you hear me?”
The boy looked utterly lost. “But what other kind of punishment is there?”
Severus had to take a deep, calming breath to keep from scaring Harrison with his anger. “Acceptable forms of punishment are: scrubbing cauldrons, preparing unsavory potions ingredients, writing lines, or in extreme cases restrictions on sweets or access to toys.” Severus maintained a stern look for a long moment before getting back to the matter at hand. “Now, what was so important that you couldn’t wait for me to get back?”
Harry shrugged sheepishly before finally looking up and opening his mouth to reveal the Mandrake Leaf hidden under his tongue.
Severus groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Salazar, save me from idiotic Gryffindors. Of course, you found the book on animagus transformations while I was gone.” He glared menacingly at the boy, although he refrained from raising his voice, “Harrison James Potter. It is exceedingly dangerous to interact with potion ingredients without first properly understanding what you are working with! Mandrake Leaves can be poisonous if ingested on an empty stomach.”
Harry looked down, “Sorry, Severus.”
Snape huffed indignantly, “Well, I guess we have discovered what your punishment will be. Firstly, you will be writing me 12 inches explaining the properties and dangers of Mandrake Leaves. Secondly, I will be using a sticking charm to keep the leaf in place to avoid any mishaps.”
Harry perked up. “Really? I can keep trying to follow the directions in the book?”
“Yes, but be warned. You will have to do quite a lot of research to make this happen. If done right on the first try, which is unlikely, the process will still take at least a full two months to complete. It will take quite a lot of dedication.” Severus smirked. It would be good for Harry to have something to work on while he had to be gone, especially when school started in just over three weeks.
Harry tilted his head, “12 inches doesn’t seem so bad, for breaking the rules. What’s the catch?”
Snape smirked evilly. “You are correct, your punishment is twofold. The second part is a side effect of the first step to becoming an animagus. With the leaf in your mouth, everything you eat will taste bitter and foul.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad either. It can’t taste worse than those nutrient potions you make me drink at every meal.”
(It most certainly could…)