Chapter 6
After, they curled up on the sofa together, Remus looking comical in Sirius’ pyjama trousers that hung way above his ankles and were too tight to be completely comfortable around the thigh.
“Tell me about your ex” Remus said, voice soft. “If you want to. You said it was a bad relationship, that first time you stayed over. I would like to know why”
“His name was Josh. We were together for a year. I was just a placeholder for him, without ever knowing. He wasn't kind, even during the relationship. He was constantly insulting me. ‘You have such a dead end job, siri’ he would say whenever i talked about enjoying it. He told me I dressed like a teenager. He was always buying me clothes, and I had to wear those ones when we saw his friends. He would always say things like ‘don’t talk about your job or James, yeah babe? I need my friends to like you.’ he hated James, but I always thought it was just jealousy so i kind of ignored it, i guess”
Sirius curled closer into Remus. “That aside though, it turns out his boyfriend had gone abroad for a year for a work placement, and I was just a bed warmer while he was away. The boyfriend lived in Brighton, and one weekend Josh said to me ‘oh, my friend just got back from studying abroad. I’m off to see him for the weekend.’
By the time his train got to Brighton, he had blocked my number and everything. I only found out after i bumped into one of his friends in a bar and she gushed about how happy she was they were back together”
Remus’ arms gripped him tighter, and Remus pressed a plethora of little kisses to the top of Sirius’ head. “Oh, Sirius, I'm so sorry. I’m so sorry” he said, over and over.
“It’s fine, I’m over it now. And besides, I have you” Sirius said, pressing a kiss to Remus’ shoulder.
“You always have me” Remus murmured and it was as if Sirius could physically feel the moment he started falling in love.
“Would you sing me something?” Sirius asked, licking up Remus’ neck and making the other man laugh.
“What do you want?”
“Surprise me” Sirius said, leaning further into Remus and closing his eyes. He could feel the rumbling vibrations in Remus’ chest as he started to sing.
“Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken eyes and learn to see…”
Sirius relaxed into the sound and feeling, slowly feeling the tension of the last few weeks leak from him; the initial shock and pain of Regulus, the slow journey back to trust, the relinquishing of any form of social life to care for his brother, for him just to leave again when it was starting to feel less like Sirius was a caretaker and more like he was a friend.
--
Later that night, after Remus had gone home and Sirius had had a long conversation with James over a bottle of wine and takeaway Pizza, Sirius was in bed on his laptop, looking at the prices of season travel tickets and groaning. He wanted to be able to visit reg every single weekend, but fuck train tickets were expensive. He groaned and rolled over, burying his face in his pillow, desperately wishing for his life a few months back, when everything just seemed easier.
Sirius was emotionally limited at the best of times, and now trying to navigate a new relationship and his brother was too overwhelming. If Remus had been anyone else, Sirius would have ended it, but Remus wasn't anyone else, and there was no way in hell that Sirius was going to give him up.
Sirius tried to be reassured by his surety in Remus, but it was hard when he couldn't see the other man as much as he wanted to- which was every second of every day, if he was honest with himself.
He texted Effie for advice about which travel pass to buy, and then texted Remus a thank you, before resigning himself to sleep.
--
He was a zombie the next day at work, divorced entirely from his usual cheery self. He had awoken to a text from Effie saying that maybe he should let Regulus settle in and calm down, instead of visiting as often as possible. Sirius knew she was right, but it still hurt. He wanted to make up for the years he missed out on, and finally be the big brother he always saw himself as being. To then be told he essentially wasn't needed was a feeling he struggled with, and the ache in his chest lingered for hours.
Still feeling bad and unable to shake the feeling, he went home for an infamous cuddle session with James. They had been doing it since age thirteen, the first time James found out about the extent of the abuse. He had put on the film Mean Girls and the two of them watched it in the dark, cuddled up under a blanket in the sitting room of the Potter’s house.
Since then, whenever either of them had an exceptionally bad day- the day Sirius got kicked out, the day Monty had a minor heart attack, the first time James was rejected by Lily- they cuddled together under a blanket in the dark, and watched Mean Girls. They both knew the whole script off by heart at this point, and it was Sirius’ favourite tradition.
When he arrived home, James already had the blanket out and the film loaded up, and Sirius wasn't sure if he had ever loved James more in that moment.
--
When the film ended, Sirius checked his phone to see a text from Remus reading “Lily’s slimy friend from secondary is coming to stay fri night to sat evening. Stay with me so i don’t have 2 deal w him? I will come 2 work w u and sit in the corner like a good dog? :)’
Sirius replied with the affirmative, and Remus texted back with “Invite james 4 me. Slimy is super in2 Lils but she refuses to believe me n i worry he will make a move… dont tell her i said anything, but u may wanna warn J.”
“Hey Prongs, you might wanna read this” Sirius said, passing his phone to James.
“Oh...okay” James said slowly.
“I’ll bring you as my plus one, yeah? And your presence will ward off anything untoward” Sirius said, punching James lightly on the shoulder.
--
Frida rolled around, and Sirius could tell James was feeling a bit insecure. Well, more than a bit.
“We’ve been going out like what, two months pads? And he was at school with her for seven years, and clearly knows her well enough to stay at hers, and she hasn’t mentioned him coming to me at all. I’m worried, Pads” James said, his eyes big and mournful when he turned to Sirius.
“I like her so much, and have done so for so long. I don’t wanna lose her, you know?”
“You won’t lose her, Prongs. Rem said that before you she hasn't dated anyone in years. That means that she had the opportunity to be with this guy and didn’t take it, yeah? And anyway Rem said he’s slimy, and really doesn't seem to like this bloke, and you’re the opposite of slimy. You have nothing to worry about”
James released a shaky breath. “Yeah, thanks Pads. you always know what to say”
“That's because I love you prongsie” Sirius said, wrapping an arm around James and giving him a smacking kiss on the cheek. “Right. Lets go keep ur girlfriend safe”
James made a valiant effort to smile, and they set off to the bus stop.
--
“James, Siri, great to see you, come in, come in” Remus said when he opened the door. His smile seemed strained.
“You greet your boyfriend second??” Sirius asked in mock horror, and was relieved when Remus’ answering laugh seemed genuine.
“I’m so sorry, light of life, please, enter my humble abode” Remus said, smirking when Sirius purposely knocked him with his shoulder on the way in.
“That’s better” Sirius said, before turning and pulling Remus into a short kiss. James continued into the living room.
“Hey, you okay? You seem stressed” Sirius whispered against Remus’ mouth. Remus pulled back a bit, but his hands went from Sirius’ shoulders to his hips and gripped tightly.
“Yeah, good now you’re here” he said, grinning when Sirius blushed. “I just fucking hate Sev” he hissed, his expression turning sombre again.
“Lily’s friend?” Sirius double checked.
“Yeah” Remus sighed, resting his forehead against Sirius’ so they were speaking into the air between them, preventing their conversation from being heard from the living room.
“He’s always had this creepy thing for Lils, but she’s so insecure that whenever i mention it she brushes me off. She only believed James liked her after four months of him saying, and Sev has never actually said anything, he’s just creepy as shit, and so possessive for someone who is barely even her friend at this point” he said.
“What shit does he do?”
“God, everything. He’s constantly mentioning her body type, and being so cruel about it. She was wearing this lovely skirt when he arrived and after he had invaded our whole flat he looked at her and said ‘really lily? You want your thighs on show?’ and it was all I could do not to punch him.”
“Fuck. what an arsehole. James won't let that shit slide. He throws a mean left hook” Sirius said, sliding his hands under Remus’ jumper and revelling in the warmth of his bare skin.
“Drop your bag in my room and then we can join them, yeah?” Remus said, reaching behind with one hand to grab one of Sirius, before leading him down the hall into Remus. Bedroom.
“Aww, the goldfish are gone” Sirius pouted when he saw a new bed set.
“I do change my sheets, Sirius,” Remus deadpanned. “And anyway, these have bumblebees on”
They then went into the living room, and Remus sat down, pulling Sirius onto his lap by the hips. Sirius would never admit how much henloved it.
“Sev, this is Sirius, Remus’ beau” Lily said, with a suggestive wiggler of her eyebrows towards where the two were sitting, one on top of the other.
Sirius looked at Sev. he was shorter than Sirius, probably about 5’9 to Sirius’ 5’11. He was dressed in all black; black slacks, a black turtleneck, and black oxfords. He looked so pretentious. Sirius noted with disdain that they wore their hair similarly, but where Sirius’ long black hair was naturally curly and fell in messy waves that framed his face, Sev’s was straight, limp, lank and greasy. It looked like it hadn't been washed in weeks. He wore an alice band to keep it away from his face, and the general impression he gave was one of a perpetually pissed off vampire.
Sev raised a disdainful eyebrow towards where Sirius and Remus were sat on the sofa, and uttered a curt “hello Sirius”
Sirius immediately didn't like him. He now knew exactly what Remus had meant by ‘slimy’.
“Sev and I went to school together from like, age four” Lily said. Her smile, like Remus’ had been at the door, was tight and strained. Her eyes looked tired, and were lacking the warm sparkle that Sirius had become so accustomed to seeing.
Remus’ arms snaked around Sirius’ waist, and Sirius relaxed back into the man. He felt so inordinately lucky to have Remus, and it had barely been a month. There was just something different about this.
Sirius looked across at James and Lily. James’ jaw was clenched, and he looked unhappy at the intrusion on their happy foursome.
“So, James” Sev spat James’ name like it was poison. “What is it you do?”
Sirius had never heard a question sound so disinterested.
“I work at a graphic design company,” James said, his eyes lighting up as they always did when he talked about his job. It was a steady 9-5 that payed very well, and James could very well afford somewhere bigger than where they lived, but Sirius insisted on paying the lion's share of the rent, to thank James for all he had done for Sirius, and Sirius could not afford to pay ¾ of the rent at a flat any bigger.
“Its mainly brand visuals, making websites and stuff like that but i really enjoy the creative process”
Sirius scoffed quietly, James’ favourite phrase was ‘creative process’ purely because it made him sound like such a twat.
“Sounds… scintillating” Sev’s cold, nasal voice made it sound as if it was anything but. Sirius bristled a bit at someone being so rude to someone so wonderful, but a large, warm hand on his bicep pulled him back a bit from the edge.
“Don’t engage in it. He gets worse if he thinks he’s getting a rise out of you” Came Remus’ voice in his ear, and Sirius nodded imperceptibly to show his understanding.
“so, what do you do, Sev?” Sirius asked, leaning forward to feign interest.
“I work at a law firm. Corporate” came the proud reply. He must be making bank, thought Sirius.
“Oh, as an intern?” Sirius replied, as earnestly as he could, a bland smile on his face. Sev’s face pinched even further, if that was possible, and Sirius felt the shake of Remus’ silent laughter behind his back.
James shot him a grateful look, and Lily pursed her lips, but Sirius honestly couldn't tell if it was in amusement or disapproval.
The rest of the evening carried on in a similar vein, with James and Sirius coming up with the most subtle ways possible to undermine Sev.
Sirius felt guilty for how much he enjoyed making fun of the other man, but it was just so easy that he couldn’t help it.
They got takeaway thai for dinner, and a few hours later, Sirius and Remus began making transparent excuses to go to bed, both of them feeling frayed after so long in Sev’s company.
Once all tucked up in bed, Remus shuffled until he was face Sirius and said “I should admonish you for being so mean to Lils’ friend but my god that was so funny”
Sirius giggled, “I know. Did you see his face? God and he made it so easy too. I would feel bad if he wasn't so condescending and awful, jesus. How does Lily put up with him?”
“Guilt, I think,” replied Remus. “He never had many friends at school, and Lily pitied him, and continues to. She feels bad that he doesn't really have anyone nice in his life, so she endeavours to be that positive influence. His other friends are all these awful, bigoted tories, who probably all do tax fraud and cocaine”
“Hey! Cool people do tax fraud and cocaine too” Sirius said, probably coming across as more defensive than jokey.
“Sirius,” Remus sighed. “Please tell me you don’t do coke”
“I don’t. I uh, used it to cope a bit at uni though. I’m fine now, and I was never properly addicted, you know? I could go good days without using, just not the bad ones. James fixed me up anyway, so it’s all good”
“Oh, I’m sorry love” Remus whispered, wrapping his arms around Sirius and pulling him closer.
“I didn’t mean to be insensitive”
“No, no Rem please you were not. Everyone knows that coke is a rich boy's drug. I just hate that I used to be one of those rich boys, you know?”
“Yeah, that makes sense. You’re my rich boy now, anyway” Remus said, tangling his legs with Sirius and settling in to sleep.