a blaze that only lovers see
Remus Lupin was finally getting over Sirius Black. Well, no he wasn’t, but he was doing a really good job telling himself he was. When Lydia Johnson had come over to their table during breakfast, draping herself all over Sirius, Remus had barely blinked an eye. (He had, in fact, crumbled a piece of toast in his hand, but that was besides the point.) And, to his luck, his day was remarkably Sirius-free. Ancient Runes, advanced Potions, Arithmancy. No Sirius to be seen in any of his classes. No intoxicating smell of mint and rain that followed him around. For a few hours, Remus was free of the torture.
He wasn’t trying to avoid Sirius - he just wasn’t exactly looking for him either. Sirius had clearly had a good summer, and if anything, he was being a good friend for not dampening Sirius’s mood with his sulking. And if Remus was possibly also avoiding Sirius because of his weird response to his confession last night, that was all the same.
But really, what had he been going on about? One minute he was silent, the next all angry. Did he have some sort of problem with Remus being gay? Was he worried that he wouldn’t get all the attention from boys anymore? And why was he so mad about Henry? Is it because Remus wasn’t just innocent, non-threatening Remus anymore?
As Remus sat down for dinner, he averted his eyes from the jumble of limbs across from him - Sirius and some guy tangled with each other. Remus couldn’t stop himself from speaking.
“Some of us are trying to eat, you know.”
Sirius looked up before pushing the guy off. “Oh? Don’t tell me you didn’t do that with Hammy this summer?”
Remus gritted his teeth. “Henry. His name was Henry.”
Sensing a conflict brewing, James turned to Remus quickly, shooting him a sheepish grin.
“You know, Moony, in all the excitement yesterday, you never told us about your summer.”
Remus smiled. James always knew when to settle the air, entirely terrified of conflict. Unlike Sirius and Remus, who relished in an argument.
“It was,” he paused, “nice.”
“What a raving review,” Sirius drawled. James shot him an irritated look remarkably reminiscent of Effie’s.
“It was lovely. But tiring. Full moons and whatnot.” His voice lowered to a whisper at that
At this Sirius sat up straight, his leg brushing Remus’s. Had he meant to do that? Remus needed to get a hold of himself. His leg still buzzed from the spark when his touched Sirius’s. God, if he couldn’t even handle that, how was he supposed to get through another year of this?
“Moony? Were they bad?”
Remus laughed lightly. “Nothing I’m not used to.”
That was a lie. The summer moons had been much worse than usual, without his friends to distract him with runs through the woods and Madam Pomfrey to care for him after.
Involuntarily, Remus looked up, locking eyes with Sirius. He knew. Sirius knew. He’d always had a knack for knowing when Remus was lying. Remus pulled his eyes away. He was still being an arsehole. Making a fuss about Henry as if he didn’t flaunt around someone new every day. He had just two minutes ago.
Looking him in the eye, his stupid perfect eyes, Remus said, “My summer was lovely, Sirius, leave it be.”
Sirius’s eyes softened, and he looked almost…dejected? But no, that wouldn’t make any sense. Sirius had alway cared about Moony’s safety, but why would he care about what Remus did without him?
“Ready to go, lads?” James pushed his plate forward, standing up from the bench.
Peter stood as well. “Let’s go. I’ve been wanting to show you the Quidditch magazine I got you in Italy, James.”
James’s eyes lit up at that, and the two of them scurried towards the exit.
Well, fuck. Now he was stuck here with Sirius, who was still looking at him with a sad expression in his eyes.
“Come on, Padfoot. I’ve got prefect rounds in an hour.”
Sirius stood. “With who? Lily?”
“Your brother, actually.”
“Regulus?” Sirius asked incredulously.
“Do you have another brother?”
“But,” Sirius looked at a loss for words, “you can’t- with Reggie.”
Remus looked at him blankly.
“I thought you and Reg were on good terms.”
“We are. He’s living with that Pandora girl now, she’s lovely. But you and Regulus, it just-”
“What exactly is the problem?” Remus asked, trying to sound bored. He wasn’t sure why Sirius was freaking out, but he definitely wouldn’t give in to it.
“He’s gay, too, you know.” Sirius whispered.
Remus laughed. “I sure hope so. We saw him snog Dexter Cornfeld during second term last year.”
Sirius shuddered at the memory. Remus remembered how they’d walked into the empty Potions classroom, looking for an ingredient for a prank, and had found Regulus snogging Dexter in the back. Sirius, predictably, had screamed at him, less for not telling him and more for “snogging someone where I might have to see.” To which Regulus laughed and told him he wasn’t exactly thinking about Sirius at the moment.
“That’s not the point. But you, and him, alone. I just-”
Regulus walked up them, somehow matching Remus’s stride despite being considerably shorter.
“Sirius, your boyfriend will be fine with me. I promise I won’t make any moves. I wouldn’t want to overshadow your so-called flirting.”
“That’s not- he’s not-”
Remus chuckled. No one could shut Sirius up like Regulus. Taking advantage of Sirius’s silence, and tactfully ignoring Regulus’s “boyfriend” comment (he could’ve overanalyzed that for hours), he turned to Regulus.
“Reg, why don’t we stop by the library on our way to rounds. I need to return a few things Madam Pince had let me borrow over the summer.”
“I swear, you are the only person she’d let take her books during the summer.”
Remus rather liked Madam Pince. She was feared by all, but she’d developed a certain affinity for him after all his years in the library.
As he and Regulus set off for rounds, they left a speechless Sirius behind them.
“You know he’s obsessed with you, right?” said Regulus, turning to Remus.
Remus rolled his eyes. “Don’t be daft, we’re just friends.”
“Sure, friends who’d like to snog the shit out of each other.”
“Shut up.”
Remus knew his crush on Sirius was probably pretty obvious - at least to those not as oblivious as James and Peter. He suspected most of Regulus’s friends knew, and he knew Evan did, since he knew all.
“He didn’t seem happy about us going on rounds together.”
Remus shrugged. That wasn’t because he was jealous, for god’s sakes. Sirius had always been overly protective of Reggie, reminiscent of their childhood days. The whole ‘Reggie’s gay’ lecture was weird, he’d admit, but he doubted it had any meaning.
“He’s probably just worried about me corrupting you.”
“A little too late for that.” Remus and Evan had been the ones to introduce Regulus to weed last year, and the two boys welcomed Reggie into their greenhouse chats whenever he wanted to.
Remus slung an arm around Regulus, knowing how much it pissed him off.
“Careful, Reggie, don’t let Sirius hear. He’ll never forgive me for corrupting his baby brother.”
Regulus smirked at him. “Somehow, I don’t think that’s what he’s most worried about.”