The falling rain.
"Do you have the woodlice?"
Grey smiled slightly, pulling a wriggling paper bag from his blazer pocket and handing it to the magizoologist. Newt took it, placing a few insects onto the branch.
"Now we wait," He whispered.
They both took a step back and watched the willow tree for movement.
It had taken some persuading to get Albus' permission to go to the little island. The continuous rain had not aided negotiations. But, Newt had insisted that he'd taken the boat to the islet on the black lake during all sorts of dreadful weather when he'd been at Hogwarts. Grey knew that Newt's presence relaxed the man. At least he knew that Grey was safe.
So that's how the Ravenclaw found himself, soaked to the skin, with a pocket full of live bugs, eagerly awaiting a grumpy tree guardian to show itself. Besides him, Pickett poked his head out of Newt's pocket. He made an indignant face as the rain splashed him and borrowed back into the warmth of Newt's coat.
Grey didn't care that he was drenched. It was just lovely to be outside for a change. That and he couldn't deny the exciting anticipation of awaiting a magical creature.
After a few moments, Newt pointed to a hollow in the trunk. A small green head popped up to eye the branch. Grey held his breath. The bowtruckle clambered into the open and skewered a woodlouse on one of its spindly fingers. Grey had to suppress a laugh of joy, not wanting to startle it. The creature had a thinner body than Pickett but compensated with a third arm extending from its back, giving it the appearance of an elongated spinning top. Once it had eaten its fill of woodlice, it darted back into the safety of the tree.
"That was amazing," Breathed Grey.
Newt smiled. "They are very suspicious creatures. But, if you feed them enough, they should learn to recognise and trust you." He explained.
The joy in Grey dwindled at that statement.
"Shame," He muttered, using his wand to burn the wet paper bag.
Newt gave him a perplexed look.
"Why is it a shame?" He asked.
Grey sighed.
"Because Albus won't let me leave the castle."
"Oh," Newt murmured, "You could bring him with you?"
"I suppose."
But the idea wasn't that appealing to him. Albus would probably spend the whole time fretting that he'd trip over or something else stupid.
In comfortable silence, they got back into the small rowing boat and Newt enchanted the ores to take them across the lake. Grey watched the island get smaller, wishing he could have stayed longer.
"He's only trying to keep you safe."
Grey glanced at Newt with a sad smile.
"I know, and I am grateful," He paused, glancing up at the castle. "It's just starting to feel more like captivity rather than protection."
The boat bumped against the bank. They clambered out and started towards the viaduct. But Grey was practically dragging his feet.
"May I ask you something?" Newt said suddenly.
There was an anxious edge to his tone.
"Yes?"
Newt took a breath as if he'd been anticipating his next words.
"Did you see much of Credence at Numengard?"
Grey felt a twinge of regret as he thought of the obscurus.
"Yes. Although, he goes by Aurelius now."
"Oh."
Grey glanced at the man. Newt wore a look of distant sadness.
"How was he?" He asked hesitantly like he was anxious about the answer.
"I didn't spend much time with him," Admitted Grey, "But when I did, he seemed... sad? I don't know, it's hard to explain. It was like he was constantly carrying some huge emotional burden. But I didn't speak to him much."
Grey felt guilty about it now.
"I was worried about his allegiance to Grindelwald," He continued.
Newt listened intently, seeming to grow sadder with Grey's explanation.
"Ok," He simply said once the Ravenclaw had finished.
Grey chewed the inside of his cheek.
"I'm sorry," He mumbled.
The magizoologist smiled at him. "It's alright."
But even Grey could tell that he was forcing the smile.
"Did you know him?" Grey asked tentatively.
Newt nodded.
"As Credence. I first met him in New York when he was lashing out as an obscurus for the first time. He was in so much pain, but all people wanted to do was use him."
Grey fought the urge to dig his nails into his palms. He was no better. He had used Aurelius for information and the thought sickened him now.
"All I wanted was to help him," Newt continued, "I'd met another obscurial during my travels. I managed to separate the parasite from the host but only after she died,"
His voice wavered slightly, "But Credence was so much older and stronger. I hoped-"
He sighed, fidgeting with his wand.
"I'm sorry, you don't have to explain," Grey mumbled.
"No, it's alright."
Glancing at Newt, Grey offered him a sympathetic smile, like how Albus looked at him when he talked about something difficult.
"We thought he had died. But then Albus got word he was in Paris so I left immediately. He was searching for his identity but Grindelwald got to him. Manipulated him into thinking he had the answers. Credence just wanted to be loved,"
"And now Grindelwald is using him too," Grey finished for Newt.
The wizard nodded sullenly.
"I can't forget him," Newt sighed, "I still wish I could have helped him."
"You might get another chance?"
But he didn't believe his words.
"I hope so."
They arrived at the bridge and headed inside. It still felt so alien to be wandering an empty Hogwarts.
"You're right, this is very strange," Newt exclaimed, changing the subject.
"Try being here 24/7, that's strange," Grey joked but he couldn't mask the bitter edge in his voice.
Albus was waiting for them in the courtyard, wand extended above him to produce an invisible umbrella. He surveyed the sodden pair with a smile.
"I trust your trip was a success?"
Newt beamed, "There are indeed still bowtruckle in that tree."
"Excellent," Albus exclaimed, "Grey, would you mind if I had a private word with Newt before he leaves?"
Grey resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead nodded. He watched them wander inside, lingering in the courtyard.
He took a seat on a bench by the fountain. Usually, he disliked being in the rain. But today he relished the unpleasant feeling of water dripping into his collar. He savoured the smell of damp earth and turned his face to the darkened sky, understanding that it would be a while until he'd be outside again. As a human at least. Although he loved his stolen nightly flights, they still felt more like a rebellion than freedom.
In the snatched moment, Grey's mind wandered to Aurelius. After hearing Newt's story, he felt so much worse about his behaviour at Numengard. It sounded like the obscurus was as much of a prisoner as he had been. The difference was that Grindelwald had used the year to manipulate Aurelius into his puppet.
Grey hadn't forgotten that the obscurus had killed people. But how could he be sure those murders were committed willingly? Perhaps Aurelius' burden was guilt? Along with the understandable stress of being a combustible magical force.
At that moment, Grey wondered how different he and Aurelius really were. They were both abused young men, staggering under the weight of a power they didn't want. Grey wished he had taken the chance to get to know him. It wasn't fair he was still there. None of this was fair.
Closing his eyes, Grey let the heavy rain batter his upturned face. Why couldn't everything be as simple as the falling rain? If he had done things differently, Richard would be alive, Derric would be alive and Aurelius would be free. That's how things should have been.
A lump was forming painfully in his throat, so Grey forced his mind to other things.
He surmised that he could always visit the bowtruckle tree at night when he took his hour flight. He was desperate to befriend the little tree guardian, not only as a form of companionship but to make Newt proud as well. Grey wasn't sure if it was a girl or a boy so he thought the name Charlie was fitting because it could be used universally. When Newt got back, he decided to also ask if there were any other befriendable creatures in the vicinity of Hogwarts.
"You're still out here?"
Grey jumped causing the rain to temporarily blind him. Furiously rubbing his eyes, he turned to look at his father.
"I was enjoying the rain," He mumbled, then noticed that the man was alone, "Where's Newt?"
"He had to dash off, something about an upset occamy," Albus explained, walking over to Grey, "He said he would write soon though."
Grey nodded feeling disheartened that he hadn't said goodbye.
"Did you have a good time?" Albus asked.
Grey nodded again, noticing his father eyeing the viaduct.
"We should head inside, you'll catch a cold," The professor decided.
Grey looked longingly at the overcast sky.
"Can't I stay out a bit longer?" He asked hopelessly, already knowing the answer.
"Not today, come on."
Albus moved towards the entrance but Grey stayed put.
"Why not?"
The man gave him an imploring look.
Grey waved his wand, instantly drying himself, then held it aloft as an umbrella.
"See, I won't catch a cold now."
"Please Grey, let's not have this discussion again."
"You mean argument."
Albus observed him calmly.
"Please, Grey."
Guilt tugged in the Ravenclaw's stomach and he reluctantly relented.
They walked inside silently. So much of what they did together now was silent. In the beginning, they had talked so much and Grey didn't know what had changed. He tried to blame Albus' protectiveness but deep down he knew it was his fault. Grey understood that he was awkward and antisocial, not to mention deeply traumatised. Yet, there was a part of him that worried and wondered if he reminded Albus of Grindelwald. Grey prayed he didn't. But, hadn't he manipulated Aurelius too? Hadn't he killed people?
The anxiety mingled with frustration as they arrived at Albus' office. And the feelings swelled as his father prepared a pot of tea to share as they always did in the afternoon. Then, it all collided with his desire to go outside when he sipped the scolding tea too soon.
"Nothing bad happened today," He commented as his tongue burned.
Albus set down his cup with a sigh.
"That doesn't change the fact that he still wants to get you back."
"But how do you know?" Grey retorted.
A dark look dwindled briefly in the professor's eyes.
"Because, if it were me out there instead of him, I would stop at nothing to get you too."
Grey thought back to the horrible altercation in Grindelwad's office when he said: 'We're the same, him and I.'
He didn't think they were.
"Besides," Albus continued, "His attacks in Europe have increased and they continue to get closer, just like before."
"But what if you came with me, it's not like you have lessons to plan yet," Grey pressed.
But his father looked sad.
"If we met him out there, I can't fight him. Within these walls, however, I can keep you safe."
Grey glared into his teacup, wishing the bloodpact didn't exist. It was foolish because, without it, he would never have been born.
Yet, maybe if that were so, there would be a lot of people still alive instead of him.