dead
It had been 7 years since Regulus went missing and it never got easier. Even with a child and family, he couldn't stop loving the boy he once knew. The worst part is, James knows he's dead. He felt it when it happened. Such a strong pain words could't describe. Part of James died that day; he has never gotten it back. It haunts him. James loves Lily and Harry. He loves them both so much. More than he ever thought he could love again however they weren't Regulus. Lily knows how much it upsets James that he can't love her the same.
He always feels like he's failing her and at times like those, he goes out. He goes on walks so long sometime they wonder if he's coming back. Hell sometimes James even wonders if he's coming back. That scares him. Today is one of those days. He's been out for about 2 hours at this point and he doesn't know if he wants to go home. He doesn't know if he can face Lily. He feels like that a lot. James sighs and hugs his sketch book to his chest. He's currently walking down a river bank. Its only a small river but it leads to a pond. James hopes he can clear his head there maybe sketch it out a bit.
As he gets closer, he sees something. Or someone. Well what once was someone. A skeleton lays next to the pond it looked so peaceful. Its ribs covered in moss sprouting with small pink flowers, its arms being held down ,as if it might run away, with vines and its skull holding a small amount of water; and call James crazy but it feels so familiar. Like he knew who ever this once was. James sat a bit away gazing over the other areas. A sea of green and murky blue, specks of pink and yellow littering the greenery. He pulls out his pencil and starts to sketch everything out even the skeleton. As he's drawing he hears soft humming coming from behind him. A song he knows so well because its his and Regulus' song. They would sing and laugh to it as James screamed the lyrics.
The humming never stopped and James kept drawing. Looking up to see a ladybird settling on the moss covered ribs. As the humming got to his part of the song, he slowly sang along "i'll love you for a thousand more," even if he was tortured he would never admit how his voice broke. He kept drawing with tears dropping onto the page. James didn't try and stop them, it wouldn't help anyway. The wind gave a soft blow and it made James feel like he was being held almost with how gentle it was. He could almost smell Regulus again. He thought made him put his pencil down.
The sun was still high in the sky it only being 2 in the afternoon however it was winter so in 2 hours it might be dark. James intended to stay there until dark try and see if he could see anything. James knows its stupid. Ghosts don't exist. Do they? James stared to doubt himself. After all any chance to have Regulus back is a chance he's willing to take. Call him crazy as i said before, James felt like he knew this person. In there so called wedding that Regulus' brother organised he said til death do them part but now James doesn't even think that can separate them. He feels silly and yet hopeful like a child before Christmas. As the sun set it made no difference part of James wanted to cry and the other part just wanted to sit and talk to the dead person. Even if it wasn't Regulus, he just wanted to feel like he had done something.
Tears escaped his eyes as he started to talk. He talked about everything Lily, Harry, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Regulus. In the moonlight, the water was like a sea of glitter reflecting the stars as the sea of green changed to a purple hue. James didn't want to leave. Not when the flowers closed or the sun started to show its self again. He wanted to stay there forever, part of James knew that wasn't possible but just for this once, James let himself hold onto his childish fantasy.