Dazed
“I regret letting you in my room.” (Y/n) groans as Sirius wakes her up. “If I knew you would wake me up after getting me obliteratingly drunk, I would’ve said fuck off.”
“Morning to you too.” Sirius yawns. “Molly’s knocked twice. You don’t want her to knock again.”
“Let her knock.” (Y/n) waves him off, turning away from him. “I need sleep.”
“I unfortunately agree with Sirius.” Remus says from the floor near the foot of the bed. “And she’s headed up the stairs as we speak.”
“Don’t care.” (Y/n) mumbles tiredly. “Sleep.”
“Nope.” Sirius says, stealing the blanket from her and tossing it aside. “Up, before Molly lectures me on being a bad influence.”
“You are a bad influence.” Remus stretches as he gets up from the floor. “With a heart of gold.”
“Rude.” Sirius sticks out his tongue at Remus. “Besides, it’s breakfast. Toast, eggs, bacon, sausage. You know you’ll love it, (y/n).”
“No, sleep.” She groans sitting up. “I want sleep, not food. Not even hungry.”
“You didn’t even eat last night, you’re eating breakfast.” Sirius frowns.
“Why didn’t you eat?” Remus asks confused. “Wait, why would you drink on an empty stomach? That’s just asking for a hangover.”
“Prefer to not answer, and yes it is as I’m now finding out.” (Y/n) says stumbling from the bed. “I don’t drink normally.”
“You said you’d drink me under the table any night or day!” Sirius laughs. “Big talk for such a lightweight.”
“I kept pace pretty well.” She mutters, walking over to the dresser and opening the top drawer. She plucks a random shirt and pair of pants out. “At least I’m not a complete and total lush like you.” She flashes him a quick smile.
There’s a quick knock at the door interrupting the conversation. Molly walks in, a frown on her face as she sees the empty scotch bottle on the ground.
“Well, at least the three of you got along.” She tuts, walking over to the windows and flinging the curtains open wide. Sirius and (y/n) both yelp at the sudden change of light. “Breakfast is ready downstairs. Perhaps the three of you could grace us all with your flattering presence?”
“Sorry Molly, my bad.” Sirius says sheepishly. “We’ll be down shortly.”
“Good. The food will be cold if you don’t hurry.” Molly raises a brow at (y/n). “Are you alright, dear? You’re shaking.”
“I’m fine.” (Y/n) waves her worries off. “Just cold I guess. And a bit hungover to be honest.”
“Well hurry on down, some toast and eggs should do you some good then.” Molly offers her a small smile. “You’ve got time to change if you need to. These two I need to speak with for a moment anyways so we’ll give you some privacy.”
“Thanks.” (Y/n) yawns, waving to them as they all leave the room.
(Y/n) changes as quickly as she can, stumbling on the pant legs once or twice. As she reaches for the door handle her hand begins trembling. She shakes it off, muttering to herself about being paranoid.
Stepping out into the hall something seems wrong, the paintings and portraits were all frozen in place. (Y/n) blinked a few times in shock. Everything was desaturated, the life seemingly sucked dry from every object. Cautiously she reached for one of the paintings, gently brushing her fingertips along the frame.
The frame turned to dust, spreading to the others near it. Horrified she jumped back, covering her mouth to muffle her yelp. She rushed down the stairs, avoiding touching the paintings. She could feel a sense of fear working its way up her spine as she reached the bottom floor.
Bolting through the dining room door she was met with an empty table, broken lights and silence. Cobwebs covered everything, a rat scurried along the floor over her foot and out the door. She bit her lip to stay quiet as she slowly stepped toward the kitchen, hearing the sound of dripping water. She was trembling now, the air grew colder as she walked, enough to see her breath in front of her. Cautiously she opened the kitchen door.
“…/n)? (Y/n)?” Remus called out behind her as the life and color returned to the world around her. He had his hands out in front of him, as if approaching a dangerous animal. “It’s okay, you’re okay.”
“W-where’d you come from?” She asked confused, looking around the room. Food was everywhere, as if the table had exploded. The kids were huddled behind Molly, Tonks, and Sirius, who were all clutching their wands. “What’s going on? W-what happened?”
“You need to calm down first.” Remus spoke softly. “You’re heartbeat is racing, just take a moment.”
“Why?” (Y/n) asked, taking a step forward and hearing a crunch. She looked down to see she had stepped on a broken glass. Not only that but she was covered in food herself. She felt her stomach drop to the floor, ice running through her veins as she understood what had happened. “No, no, no..” she muttered.
“(Y/n) you’ve got to calm down okay? Please just listen to me.” Remus took a step forward. “No one’s seriously hurt. It’s alright, you didn’t mean to.”
“I did all this?” Her voice cracked. “I hurt someone?”
“Don’t worry about that right now.” Remus takes another step toward her, glancing at something above her nervously. “We can figure it all out in a moment.”
“Remus, careful.” Sirius warned, looking above (y/n).
“I know Sirius.” Remus shot him a glare. “(Y/n) I need you to slowly walk toward me.”
“Why?” She growled. “You’re all going to put me back in the basement now aren’t you? No, you’ll hand me over to that barbaric Moody!”
“We aren’t going to do any of that.” Remus assures.
“Get the kids out of here.” Sirius tells Molly and Tonks. “We’ve got this.”
“(Y/n) please just walk toward me, slow though.” Remus urges again. He’s looking directly above her now, concern written on his features.
(Y/n) feels something drop to her side, making a large thud sound. Instinctively she turns to look, seeing a disembodied arm roll on the floor. The sound of the dining room door shutting behind the kids echoes through the room. She looks upward slowly, scrambling backward toward Remus as she sees it. An amalgamation of body parts, stuck to the ceiling, moving on their own.
“This is just a dream. Just a bad dream.” She whispers, shaking her head. “She’s not here, it’s just a dream.”
“(Y/n), who is that?” Remus asks her. “Or, who was it?”
“I-I don’t… I don’t know.” She stutters. “It’s… it’s always been a n-nightmare. Always different people.”
“How do we get rid of it?” Sirius asks, glaring at it.
“It’s elemental.” (Y/n) says quickly as it peels itself from the ceiling. “Fire makes it stronger. Um, uh, earth does nothing I think.”
“You think?” Sirius looks at her appalled. “You don’t know?”
“Like I said, it was always just a bad dream!” She squeaks out. The body grabs it’s head from underneath one of the seats and puts it back onto it’s shoulders. (Y/n) feels the color drain from her face as she recognizes the person. “No, no that’s not right.”
“What is it, (y/n)?” Remus asks concerned.
“She looks… that… no it’s just a trick.” (Y/n) tells herself. She shuts her eyes tightly before she speaks again. “Uh, try water. These things are mostly held together by dirt, dust and clay with a bit of the original person at the center.”
“Aqua Erecto!” Remus and Sirius shout, aiming their wands at the creature right as it lunges for (y/n) again. It’s hand scrapes her cheek as it is sent flying backward by two jets of water, becoming nothing more than a pile of flesh, bone, dirt and clay.
“Thank Merlin.” Sirius sighs relieved.
“(Y/n)?” Remus looked to see her holding her cheek, a look of terror and guilt on her face. “Are you alright?”
“What happened?” She asked, ignoring his question. Her body was still trembling. “Before, what happened before?”
“What’s the last thing you remember?” Remus asks her.
“Changing, and then… then I went into the hall b-but it was wrong?” She stuttered. “The paintings were froze, and I-I touched one and it… it just became dust.”
“So you don’t remember when that thing attacked you?” Sirius looks at Remus concerned.
“She attacked me?” (Y/n) looked at the pile of parts confused. “No, I just… I ran down the stairs, in here, and it was empty. There was a noise in the… the um… the kitchen I think. I went to open the door and then I was here.”
“You don’t remember getting thrown down the stairs?” Sirius looks at her concerned. He still has his wand tightly gripped in his hand. “Or slamming the thing down onto the table?”
“No.” (Y/n) shook her head. “I don’t, I really don’t remember.”
“Let’s get you cleaned up.” Remus says breaking the tension. “We can worry about the rest of the details later.” He holds his hand to her, putting his wand away.
(Y/n) glances at his hand, then to Sirius’s wand, and to the pile. She takes a deep breath and nods. Taking one last look at the mush of the thing that attacked her, she notices something shining from inside it. Ignoring the men’s protests she goes toward it, reaching her hand in and grabbing out the object.
“That’s disgusting.” Sirius says, shuddering.
“What is that?” Remus asks as (y/n) puts the object in her pocket. “Is it safe?”
“It’s fine.” (Y/n) says quietly. “It’s… um, I think anyways that um… it’s my mom’s locket.”
“Your mom?” Remus tilts his head. Sirius’s eyes go wide.
“Was that-” Sirius starts.
“Yes.” (Y/n) says quickly, not looking at either of them. “That thing… it was my mom.”
“(Y/n)…” Remus moves toward her, broken glass making noise as he steps on it. “Let’s get you out of here, yeah?”
“I’ll call Kreatcher to clean all this up.” Sirius speaks up. “I’ll come find you two in a bit.”
“Come on.” Remus leads her out the door to the hallway.
She freezes as she sees the claw marks in the wallpaper, portraits and paintings being rehung and fixed, the kids looking at her for the first time completely terrified. Remus nudges her along, careful to avoid the splintered wood from the banisters on the floor. (Y/n) doesn’t say a word as he takes her upstairs, too focused on the mess she must’ve left. They end up in one of the many luxurious bathrooms on her floor, Remus shutting the door behind them.
“Sit.” Remus tells her, motioning to the closed toilet lid. She listens and makes her way over, careful to avoid seeing her reflection in the mirrors she looks down at her feet. “Hands.” He says simply, his own holding a wet towel. She nods, lifting one of her hands for him. “Shit… um, (y/n) can you feel any of those cuts?” He raises her arm up into her view.
“Sorta.” Her voice is flat. “Didn’t notice them until now.”
“So you probably didn’t notice your back or legs either then?” He asks. She looks at him confused as she shakes her head. “It’s not terrible, you’ve got a few splinters and cuts on your back from the stairs, maybe a bit of glass but nothing too major. And your legs are about the same, except for the sizable chunk of wood in your thigh.”
“Oh.” She looks down at her legs in confusion. Seeing the stake in her leg she reaches toward the wood with her free hand, but Remus stops her.
“We will get to that, first let me clean your hands. Maybe you’ll stop picking at them that way.” He says, dabbing her right hand with the towel gently. “You started doing it when you saw the hallway. Your heartbeat also started racing.”
“Huh.” She lets out a small chuckle. “Wow, haven’t done that in a while. Since 2nd year actually. I used to always pick at my hands, fingernails especially. Thought I grew out of it.”
“2nd year??” Remus gently wrapped her hand in a bandage. “Why?”
“In a weird way it used to help.” She shrugs as Remus does the same thing with her other hand. The pain from her injuries becoming more noticeable. “I don’t know why exactly, just did it when I felt overwhelmed. Now that I say it out loud it sounds awful. For a lot of reasons.”
“Turn.” Remus tells her, getting a new towel, a bowl and a pair of tweezers. “Back next.”
“Right.” (Y/n) nods, turning to the side. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out the necklace. She holds the locket in her hand, staring at it. “I never knew her when she was alive you know. But I asked about her. A whole lot, you could ask anyone.”
“How do you know that’s her’s?” Remus peeks at the locket.
“I met her ghost once.” (Y/n) admits. “I was little, like 4 or 5. Maybe 6. I was wandering where I shouldn’t have. Stumbled across this hidden cave behind a small group of trees and ivy. Literally stumbled. Face first. And there she was.”
“And she was your mom?” Remus asks. “She told you that?”
“Well… not exactly.” (Y/n) sighs. “She couldn’t remember how she died, or really anything from before. But she remembered her name. I ended up accidentally mentioning seeing her at dinner that night, referred to her by name.”
“I take it it didn’t go well?” Remus says as he picks out pieces of glass and wood from her back.
“It was before I knew the difference between someone speaking and someone thinking.” She starts to pry the locket open. Inside there’s nothing other than the decayed remnants of a old photo. “I don’t remember much after that other than a lot of shouting. Screaming maybe?”
“And the locket?” Remus finishes bandaging her back quickly.
“Her ghost was wearing it.” (Y/n) shrugged. “Or rather a ghostly version of it. Not the real thing like this. I thought it was pretty.”
“You can turn back around now, got to do your legs next.” He fetches another towel and bowl. She turns to face him, putting the locket back in her pocket. “Why did you say you didn’t know who it was?”
“There wasn’t a face yet, and… she’d never been one in my dreams.” (Y/n) shrugged. “She’s never been in any of my dreams actually. Not that I can recall.”
“This is going to hurt, just to warn you.” Remus says grabbing the end of the wood sticking out of her leg. “Yell if you need to.”
“I can do it if you don’t want to.” (Y/n) tells him. “I can hear your thoughts, remember? You don’t want to hurt me by pulling it out. You think loud.”
“Sorry.” He mutters. “I can do it-”
“Here.” (Y/n) moves his hand and pulls out the giant splinter from her thigh in one swift movement. She winces, biting the inside of her cheek and holding her breath for a moment to stay calm.
“That was deeper than I thought.” Remus whispers to himself, quickly grabbing his wand and waving it above it. “Vulnera Sanentur.”
“Bone deep?” She asked curiously.
“Not quite, but enough it’ll still take a bit to heal naturally too.” Remus wraps her thigh and moves to clean the other wounds. “Are you okay?”
“No fatal wounds, so yes?” She answers confused.
“No, not.. not physically.” He clarifies. “Emotionally. Everything just happened and you’re unsettingly calm about it.”
“Oh.” She stays silent for a moment. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.”
“Course.” He nods, offering her a small smile. “If you need to cry though, or scream even, it’s okay. It’s not a sign of weakness to be upset.”
“I just don’t understand what happened.” she sighs. “I do, but not completely. What happened in my room that led to all this? Was I attacked in there or outside my door? Was I even me if I can’t remember fighting with her? There’s too many questions without answers. I don’t like it.”
“You said you touched a painting and it turned to dust or something?” Remus asks. She nods. “Do you remember which one?”
“Maybe.” she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and quickly looks away. “It’s all faded in my head now, like a distant memory. But I remember it was so real, and quiet, and lifeless.”
“Sounds awful.” He finishes bandaging her up. “No one else was hurt, in case you were worrying about that. Not by you at least.”
“Still my fault though.” She shrugs. “I brought her down there with me, didn’t I? I don’t remember it, but I must’ve.”
“More like it treated you like a ragdoll, throwing you every which way until you got into the kitchen.” Remus tells her. “Not saying you weren’t a little frightening in your own right, but shambling body parts being body slammed onto breakfast might’ve taken the spotlight.”
“Not to the kids.” (Y/n) mutters, slowly standing up.
“Give them time, this hasn’t happened before to anyone.” Remus vanishes the dirty towels and bowls. “You had that look in your eyes, the one that you had when Moody attacked you.”
“I lost control.” She lets out a dry laugh, suprising him. “Why not, right? Perfect for me really, losing my shit again. Proves him right though, doesn’t it? I’m dangerous, should be stuck in a fucking cage.”
“(Y/n) that’s not-”
“No, no it’s fine.” (Y/n) looks at herself fully in the mirror this time. “I deserve it. I deserve worse.”
“(Y/n) stop.” Remus pulls her away from the mirror, gently making her look at him. “Now listen to me, just listen. You aren’t in trouble here. You aren’t some thing to be hidden away. You didn’t deserve this. No one deserves this.”
“Then why?” She pushes him away lightly. “Why else would he do this if I didn’t do something to earn it?”
“I don’t know why, I wish I could tell you.” Remus speaks to her softly. “Sometimes there is no reason why. Sometimes terrible people just do terrible things to others.”
(Y/n) doesn’t respond. She looks down at her hands, still trembling from earlier. Her chest feels tighter, the lump in her throat growing. Her face feels warm, her eyesight getting blurry.
Remus pulls her into a hug as she starts loudly sobbing. He pets her hair soothingly, lightly rocking her back and forth. Her legs give out beneath her, but he keeps her upright by holding her tightly. He lowers the both of them carefully to the bathroom floor.
“How’re things in here?” Sirius asks as he opens the door. He looks at the two of them on the floor. Her sobs slowly start becoming silent. “Oh.”
“Everyone okay?” Remus asks him, still holding (y/n).
“Yeah, just a few bruises and scrapes.” Sirius says quietly. He closes the door behind himself. “Mostly just shaken. Molly and the kids are going to the Burrow for the day. They’ll be back tomorrow, just need a day away. Tonks is staying, but she said she’s going to be holed up in her room.”
“Understandable.” Remus sighs. “She’s all bandaged up, nothing too major beside the splinter that was in her thigh.”
“Right.” Sirius nods, looking at her worriedly. “Is she okay?”
“I’m not sure.” Remus looks down at her. The sobs had finally stopped.
“Is she awake?” Sirius raises a brow.
“I’m not sure…” Remus carefully moves his arms from around her to get a better look. (Y/n)‘s eyes are half-open, tears still falling down her cheeks. “(Y/n), do you want to go to your room?” A small nod. “Can you walk or do you want one of us to carry you?”
“Maybe she should go to your room, Remus.” Sirius suggests. “Kreatcher still hasn’t found where that thing got in from. Last place she was that we all can agree on is her room.”
“Right.” Remus looks down at her again. “Is that alright?”
(Y/n) nods.
“Do you want me to carry you?” He asks.
She shakes her head, slowly removing herself from him. Remus stands up first, offering her a hand. She takes it gently, stumbling as she stands.
“Woah there.” Sirius says catching her quickly. “Lean on us okay? Don’t push yourself.”
The three of them slowly make their way out into the hall. Remus has a hand on her waist while Sirius has an arm under one of her arms. (Y/n) stops at Remus’s door, looking down to her own. A faint purple hue visible to her beneath the door. She blinks a few times before following Remus and Sirius into the room.