Lily Evans’ matchmaking service
Marlene
It started third year. That was the year everyone went crazy. Boy crazy that is.
Marlene could not see what was such the fuss. But Mary was obsessed, pointing out the boys she found cute and giggling with the rest of the Gryffindor girls. Even Lily, the most sensible one of their group, was caught up in the fun. She tried her best to join in with their crazed fanfare. Discussing the boys they had crushes on. Mary had her sights on Sirius Black. And while Lily blatantly stated her dislike for James Potter, she blushed slightly, and whispered about some Ravenclaw boy she wished would invite her to Hogsmeade.
“What about you, Marlene?” Mary questioned, “Has any bloke caught your eye?”
Marlene scrambled for something to say. But the truth was, she really just did not fancy boys. Maybe she was a late bloomer, but a small part of her suspected better. Because while Lily and Mary had been eyeing boys all year so far, Marlene could not help but notice how girls were just prettier, and more appealing. But could she tell that to Mary and Lily, sure they had been friends for a few years now. But Would they accept this secret, that Marlene could barely think to herself?
Marlene’s cheeks flushed with her confusion and frustration at this question. This only worsened the situation. Lily took note of her flustered expression, and wrongly jumped to the conclusion that Marlene did, indeed, fancy a boy.
“Well, who is it?”
“Uh…”
She had to say a name, Marlene could tell by the looks on her friends’ faces that they would no longer accept no one as an answer.
She could say it was someone they didn’t know, someone from Hufflepuff… or better yet Slytherin. But Mary would no doubt go scouting for this mysterious boy. She could state someone already taken, like Frank Longbottom, he could be a believable crush, and he and Alice have been in a happy relationship for over a year.
Just then four boys stumbled in from the portrait hole, bounding past, up to the dormitory stairs. The Marauders, it was the perfect solution, a good three fourths of the girls in their year had a crush on at least one of them. There would be no questioning if Marlene admitted to the same.
“Remus Lupin,” she said at last, “I fancy Remus Lupin.”
Remus seemed to be the most sensible choice of the four. He was sweet, and fairly attractive, and had many girls already fawning over him. Marlene would never be expected to act on her feelings with the steep competition, and in a few weeks she can claim to be over this completely non-existent crush.
Unfortunately, As the conversation turned to a new subject, Marlene missed the gleaming look in Lily’s eye.
Remus
Remus knew for a long time that he, just simply put, did not fancy girls. It was something he just had to accept and could not change, like the fact that he was a werewolf.
This was not common knowledge, both the werewolf thing and the gay thing. And although his closest friends, the Marauders, knew he was a werewolf and still accepted him, he just wasn’t ready to come out as gay also. Because really can you ever be sure of a bunch of school boys' reactions that all share a dorm in the 70s.
Being gay had never really been a problem before. Sure, the others talked about girls, James claimed that Lily Evans was the love of his life the moment he saw her, despite the fact that she hates his guts. Sirius is determined that this is the year he will get a girlfriend, and even usually shy Peter, has been talking about a Hufflepuff bird in his herbology class.
But with Remus, they were used to him being quiet, and more interested in his books than actual people. So it had never come up as to why Remus didn’t have any girl to fancy. That is, it never came up until the one and only meddlesome Lily Evans.
Despite Lily’s dislike of the pranking ways of James and Sirius. Lily and Remus were actually close friends. Both avid readers and diligent students, they often studied together, and discussed the different books they were reading.
Remus liked her calm company, a stark contrast to the dramatic antics of the other Marauders. Today, though, was to be nothing but drama filled. For, Lily was a girl on a mission.
She practically cornered Remus after classes in the Gryffindor common room.
“What do you think of Marlene?”
Remus was unsure how to respond, “What do you mean?”
“Like, do you like her,”
“Sure, she’s nice, though I don't know her real well,”
“And you think she’s cute, yes?”
“Uh… sure” Remus stammered out, disliking where this conversation was going.
“Great!” Lily beamed, at him, “She fancies you too. So you can take her out this next Hogsmeade trip.”
Remus’ eyes widened with panic. He definitely did not fancy Marlene, and did not want to go to Hogsmeade with her. His eyes darted over to the other marauders, who were watching this exchange from near the fireplace. He met Sirius’ gaze, who gave him a thumbs up, unaware of the horror Remus felt at this predicament.
Remus turned back to Lily, struggling to find a way to state why he could not go on a date with Marlene, without revealing that he is gay. Just then, though, Marlene herself walks in from the portrait hole with Mary at her side. Lily spots them right away and waves them over. “Guess what, I was just talking to Remus, and he fancies you too, Marlene. You and him can go to Hogsmeade together, next weekend.”
Remus pales, while Marlene looks at him with wide eyes. How can he say no now, he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, she really is a nice girl. All the common room is now looking at them. He doesn’t want to be a jerk rejecting her in front of everyone, so he mumbles out, “uh yeah, if you want to, of course.”
“Uh, yes, I Uh, would love to.” she stammers out.
Remus nods, and gives a strained smile, before darting up to his dorm. The sound of Lily and Mary’s excitement echoes from behind him. After racing up the stairs to the dorm, he slumps down on his bed. This is a disaster, he thinks to himself.
Marlene
An utter disaster, that was what this date would be. Marlene had been a fool, claiming to fancy Remus. Although she had found it quite brilliant at the time, now looking back, Marlene thought it plain stupidity. Why had she chosen a person who was friends with Lily Evans? That meddlesome witch, determined to set up her two friends, the moment the idea of them dating was suggested. Marlene should've claimed to fancy James Potter, who would have rejected her for Lily, like it was second nature. But no, idiotically she had chosen one Remus Lupin who was too kind to reject her in front of everyone. At least, she hoped that's why he agreed to go out with her. But she feared the worst, that he really did fancy her like Lily had said, and wanted to date her.
Marlene dreaded the upcoming Hogsmeade trip. Lily and Mary were over the moon with excitement on her behalf, and all their talk of what she should wear, and what she would do on her date only worsened her nerves.
What if Remus’ tried to kiss her on the date. Would they have to hold hands? What would they even talk about?
The morning of the hogsmeade trip, and Marlene’s impending date came far too quickly. Mary was up with the sun, littering all of their wardrobes down upon Marlene’s bed.
“Ooh, what about this shirt,” Lily crowed holding up a silk green top.
“Or this” jutted in Mary a pale pink dress in hand.
Marlene just nodded along to each of them, far more focused on twisting loose threads from her pajamas to quell her only rising discomfort.
In the end they decided on a loose dark purple sundress that matched with the handful of butterfly clips that now adorned Marlene’s hair.
Looking in the mirror, Marlene couldn’t help but admire Lily and Mary’s work, unfortunately she looked just simply splendid, she dreaded the idea of Remus seeing her. With the dress and lip gloss he was more likely to kiss her or worse ask her out for another date.
Marlene inches slowly down the stairs from the girls dormitory to the common room. Her stomach in knots she was tempted to call the whole thing off, say she was sick, but it was too late Mary and Lily urged her down the last few steps and that was when she saw Remus.
He was dressed casually, in a T-shirt and jeans, for an moment Marlene heart leapt at his disregard for his looks, maybe he didn’t fancy her much at all.
The moment of hope was ruined though when Remus all fumbling and awkward said, “uh you look really nice, the dress looks great on you”
“Thank you” she mumbled
Accepting the hand he offered, because what else was she supposed to do? And so they left hand and hand, her friends giggling behind her, out of the portrait hole to begin the most awkward date Marlene would ever experience.
Remus
Let Future Remus be warned, that Madam Puddifoot’s tea shop was the absolute worst place to go for an date. Expeccially on a date with a girl while being very much gay.
Everything was pink and floral, with dainty little tea cups with the most outrageously sweet tea, that made his lips purse and his teeth ache. The only reason he could imagine that the other couples could enjoy the place is that they were too busy snogging the daylights out of their partners, to be offended by the tiny food portions and the horrendous tea. And the only reason that the other couples were not blinded by the downpour of pink, had to be that they preferred to pay more attention to their lover's eyes than to their surroundings.
Unfortunately Remus, being quite gay had no intention of looking deep into Marlene’s eyes much less kissing her. And had to suffer through the onslaught of pink all while on the very nearly empty stomach of the few bite sized pastries provided, which in his opinion were quite dry.
And to avoid the very awkward scilence and the even more stilted conversation, Remus countinued to sip the most dreadful tea like his life depended on it.
Remus couldn’t help but curse Lily Evans in his mind. After all it was all her fault he was here. Hers and James that is. For although Remus had every intention of finding some excuse to ditch out James would hear none of it. Claiming Remus just had an few nervous butterflies. Exclaiming the excitement of the marauders and the girls friend group growing closer with Marlene’s and Remus’ impending date. And how Lily might fineilly say yes to an date once they got to know each other more.
And Peter the sweet boy just kept looking at him in wonder. Asking all sorts of advice on dating and asking out birds no matter the fact that it was Lily who had done the asking out foolishly thinking on his behalf. He also just gaped at Remus this morning claiming he was so cool to be so confident that he didn’t feel the need to dress up for his date. When in truth Remus cared so little about impressing Marlene that it would be an great joy if she was offended by his apearence and canceled the date herself.
The only one of the marauders not invested in his date was Sirius and that was probably due to the fact that he was currently in the process of wooing Mary Macdonald. One of Marlene’s close friends and fellow roommate.
After of a excruciating hour of the torment of Madam Puddifoot’s tea
Parlor. Remus decided to put a end to the date. He had foolishly placed his book bag on the other side of Marlene in the small corner booth they shared in an attempt to come across slightly gentlemanly by letting her sit first. So now he had to lean even closer to her then he already was do to the both so he could grab his bag, and ideally bolt to the door.
But then, just as Remus was twisting his fingers through his bag strap, Marlene gave him a strange look.
If Remus didn’t know any better he would think she was about to kiss him. But that couldn’t be possible… could it? Their date had been horrible he couldn’t have been the only one to think that. But no it appeared he was wrong for she was leaning in closer, her eyes wide and fluttering.
Their faces now inches apart Remus began to panic. He was gay his mind screamed, this was wrong, what the bloody hell should he do, should he just kiss her, how could he avoid it. IF Marlene wanted to kiss him did that mean she wanted to go on anouthrt date?
Their noses were now almost touching, when all of an sudden. Marlene jerked back and whisper shouted, “I think I’m gay!”
Marlene
Marlene was freaking out. The date sucked. They had nothing to talk about, she spent the whole time trying to avoid eye contact, and kept coming to look at the many other couples disgustingly wrapped around each other lips locked.
But despite the utter disaster of the date Remus still leaned in. Why the hell would he do that. Was he about to kiss her. She was pretty sure he was going to kiss her. Marlene’s mind went into overload, should she lean in too, Mary would tell her to. And that she should flutter her eyes purse her lips. Merlin it just felt so wrong, Remus’ face was so close to hers now that she could feel his shaggy curls of hair tic killing her right ear. Ugh abort, abort her mind was screaming at her. Their lips were almost touching now and..
Marlene’s body acted against her will pulling her back, and she practically yelled at Remus though it was as quiet as a whisper her darkest secret the secret she couldn’t even think to herself.
“ I think I’m gay!”
“Thank Merlin, me too”
“What,” she exclaimed, “but you leaned in for the kiss.”
“I leaned in? You leaned in. I was just trying to grab my bag” he gestured to the bag currently sitting next to Marlene.
“Oh,”
She felt silly and her mind was like mush all her rushing thoughts had come to a halt when she revealed her big secret and she felt like she was running to catch up.
“I… I told you I was…”
He just nodded
“And you…”
He nodded again this time if not a little more fearfully.
“You can’t tell anyone,” she rushed out finally getting a hold of her words, “no one knows, hell I haven’t even wanted to think it myself but I thought you were going to kiss me, and no offense to you, but I just couldn’t do it. So please, you can’t tell anyone.”
He started to lean toward her, then stopped, “I’m just grabbing my bag,” he told her.
Marlene just couldn’t help herself; she started to giggle just a little before those giggles turned into hiccups and her eyes started to fill, overwhelmed by the chaos of the day.
“Come on let’s go to somewhere a little less public.”
She nodded along getting up with him.
They walked for some time on silence before Remus finally stopped to sit under a large oak tree the branches casting perfect shade over them from the bright sunny spring morning.
“Look,” he said, “I’m not going to tell anyone. I’m not out yet either, I’ve known for a long time but. I just can’t voice it to anyone. Your the only one who knows”
“Your secret’s safe with me,” she assured then said almost hesitantly “but I just need to put it out in the world, that it’s not wrong. Who you love can’t possibly be wrong, right”
“No I don’t think it’s wrong, it’s just hard sometimes.”
“Yeah,” she agreed
“So…” she said slightly teasing bumping her shoulder to Remus’, “how crazy is it that Lily managed to set up probably the only two gays in gryphondor tower up on an date.”
He chuckled, “I know, she completely cornered me, in the common room earlier, twisting all my words till I admitted that you were pretty. Not that you're not pretty…”
“Yeah, but gay” she said smiling
He grinned back. Then his expression turned thoughtful, “now that I think about it, Lily seemed to be under the impression that you fancied me?”
“Ugh tell me about it, both Mary and Lily thought for sure that there had to be some bloke I fancied. And not wanting to come out I said you”
“Me?”
“Well sure, you are quite fit and loads of other girls fancy themselves in love with you. I thought nothing would come of it and they would leave me alone.”
“Look how well that turned out for you”
“I know, I should have said James” she said, he raised his eyebrows, “too obsessed with Lily to ever agree to go on a date.”
He laughed, “well I guess that’s now your plan after we go back, complaining about the utter horridness of our date, minus the closeted secrets of course.”
Marlene’s mind started spinning, “was it really such a horrible date though?”
“Are you kidding,” his eyes wide, and alarmed, “ it was a bloody horror fest, did you see all those helpless victims sucking their faces off, the shell shocked expressions from the obseenly amount of pink as they stared blankly into their partners eyes, and Merlin! That tea was awful.”
She playfully shoved him, “yes I know, the date was horrible, but the others don’t know that, for all they know we could have a splendid time. They wouldn’t question if we chose to continue dating each other, in fact they would expect it.”
“Um… Marlene I thought we covered this, I’m gay… you're gay. There’s no logical reason for us to date, we’re completely uninterested in each other romantically.”
“Yes I know,” Marlene sighed exasperated, “just hear me out. We go back there, we say the date is awful and that we’re better off friends fine. But… all that means is that will have to suffer through that again, it may be even worse, because are partner will actually fancy us.” Remus opened his mouth as if to object, but Marlene held up her hand, “it will happen. Tons of girls fancy you, and even if you get better at rejecting them then in my case there will still be questions. And I for one am not ready to come out. So… my proposition is that we continue to date. Fake dating of course. We don’t have to kiss or anything, we could just hold hands and call each other boyfriend and girlfriend… that way it will be guaranteed that we will not be set up on any more heterosexual dates. So what do you say?”
“Marlene, you’re absolutely brilliant, the answer is yes,” and then as a after thought, “ girlfriend.”
“Ugh Merlin,” Marlene says, cracking up. “It sounds completely bonkers when you say it like that.”
“This plan is bonkers,”
“Hey you said it was brilliant!”
“Can’t it be both?” He asked smiling
She smiled back, “yeah I suppose it can be both.”