Laughter Lines

Father, 

You probably know by now that I was sorted into Gryffindor. I thought it best that I write to you about it. 

Sirius

Sirius, 

I have heard plenty. I will discuss it with you when you return for Christmas

Orion A. Black

The shortness of his father’s letter unnerved him. Orion Black was not a man of few words. Orion Black gave long lectures, big speeches, and made the toasts at parties. Orion Black was the Patriarch of the House of Black. He did not send fifteen-word letters. 

A new thought crossed Sirius’ mind. They would discuss it at Christmas. Christmas was 3 months away. He had three months with no Mother, no Father, no Bellatrix, and three months with James, Remus, and Peter. No sense in worrying about the future. 

Sirius packed his worries about his family into a box and chucked it all the way back to London. 

September 13th, 1971

Sirius expected his first Hogwarts detention to be something memorable, something impressive. But no, he had gotten it by throwing a dungbomb during Herbology. The detention didn’t bother him at all, the little risk did. There was no risk in throwing a dungbomb, just an annoying smell. 

Well, it did hit Professor Sprout in the face. Sirius felt a little bad for that, she was one of the nicer Professors at Hogwarts. 

Maybe he should've waited. There was more of a risk of throwing a dungbomb in Transfiguration than in Herbology. It did not take much to realize McGonagall was much stricter than Sprout. Professor McGonagall seemed to like Sirius and James. She seemed rather impressed that they achieved the match-to-needle transfiguration so fast. Not seemed, she was, she said it herself. She also took the cookie they offered, which had to count for something. 

Despite her apparent favoritism, Sirius and James were not paying attention to her lecture, preferring to doodle snitches on each other’s papers. This was the complete opposite of Remus and Peter, who were taking notes raptly. Remus’ paper was filled with very detailed notes, compared to Sirius’ own who had jotted down a few bullet points. Peter’s had more than Sirius’ or James’, though they appeared to be far less detailed than Remus’.

Sirius was interrupted by McGonagall assigning them homework, an essay on Switching Spells and to read Chapter 2 of their textbook. Sirius didn’t understand the apparent love for essays by the Hogwarts Professors. A Herbology essay, a Potions essay, a History of Magic essay, an Astronomy essay, and now a Transfiguration essay. The only two classes they had not had an essay for yet were Charms and Defense, though Sirius suspected the latter would change soon.

“You’re causing me physical pain.”

“I’m reading.”

“Exactly. Physical pain.”

The four boys had gone out to the Grounds to sit beneath the willow tree. It was a lovely day outside, the tree offered a balance of shade and sun, and it was the perfect distance from the lake. 

And Remus was doing homework. 

“How am I causing you physical pain? Eye strain?”

“Because.”

“Because what.”

“You’re a nerd.” 

Remus rolled his eyes, “We’re sitting beneath a tree in front of a lake. That’s prime reading weather!”

“But you’re reading a textbook !” James exclaimed, “Not even a comic, or a thriller!” 

“Do you even have comics?” Peter asked.

“Yes I have comics, everyone has comics.” Remus frowned, “And, it’s interesting and we have to read it anyways, might as well read it outside!” 

“There are many better options for things to do outside,” Sirius responded.

“Okay, name them.”

Sirius grinned, “This.” He grabbed James and jumped into the lake, bringing James with him. The water was quite frankly, horrid: it was freezing cold despite the temperature and was awfully dark.

James was shivering as they climbed out of the lake, yet he was smirking, “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” Sirius patted James’ on the back. Many people were staring at them now, wondering which idiot jumped into the lake. Remus and Peter were roaring with laughter underneath the tree.

“I think I’d prefer to read my book and stay dry, thanks,” Remus said once James and Sirius had sat back down. 

“Are you two gonna go change?” Peter asked.

“Nah,” Sirius replied dismissively, “They’ll dry soon enough.” Sirius wanted to go change, he was shivering, but he would never admit it. It also gave him great satisfaction to what people would think of the Black family when they saw its heir soaking wet on the Grounds of Hogwarts-

Nope, A voice in his head interrupted, 3 months, remember?

“Jumping in the lake was more interesting than your book probably is, Remus,” Sirius continued. 

Remus frowned, “Hey, I would say Avifors is pretty interesting-”

“What’s that?” Peter asked, peering over Remus’ book.

“It’s a spell that turns the target into a bird,” Remus explained, “We don’t learn it ‘till later I think, it’s only mentioned in here.”

A thought popped into Sirius’ brain. Without thinking, he said it aloud. 

“We should learn the spell!” Sirius exclaimed, jumping up. 

“How so?” Remus asked, “I don’t think it’s in here, it’s only-”

But James seemed to understand what Sirius was thinking, a grin appeared on his face, “Who should we target?”

“Forget targets,” Sirius responded, “I wanna cause havoc!” 

Remus seemed to understand what they were thinking also, “I don’t think that’s a smart idea-”

“Maybe not smart, but it sure sounds fun!” James responded, 

“I say we get the Potions classroom,” Sirius said, “I think that’s close to the Slytherin Common Room, it’ll drive them bonkers-”

Peter had peaked at Remus’ book again, and seemed to understand what they were talking about, “Lucius Malfoy’s robes?” He asked hopefully.

James pointed at Peter, “I like the way you think!”

September 15th, 1971

Remus had come up with The 1971 Peck-a-thon to make fun of James and Sirius, but the name had stuck. They’d spent the entire evening planning the prank, set to be carried out on Wednesday.

They’d all agreed James would get the Invisibility Cloak, it belonged to him after all. They’d wanted to set themselves up near each of the four Common Rooms, but they only knew the definite location of Gryffindor, and only had a vague idea of the Slytherin Common Room. James would take the Great Hall, it was the hardest to hide in, so he would need the Invisibility Cloak to avoid getting caught. 

Peter would take the seventh floor, there was very little up there, and Sirius suspected he might have an issue getting the spell. It was also close to Gryffindor Tower, and they assumed if Gryffindor was in a tower, Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff surely had to be as well. 

Remus was in charge of the first floor. The Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom was on the first floor, as well as History of Magic. Remus was so focused on school, why not make him be a little rebellious and wreck the most boring classrooms?

Sirius insisted on taking the Dungeons. He knew the Slytherin Common Room was down there, due to various family members. He did not know the exact spot, but Sirius was happy to charm the entirety of the Dungeons to annoy the Slytherins. 

Since the Avifors spell was not detailed in their Transfiguration textbook, nor The Standard Book of Spells, they had to find it in the library. Sirius, James, and Peter looked throughout the library for Transfiguration books, however, Remus pointed out it was in fact in their Transfiguration book, just further inside. 

They first attempted the spell on Tuesday afternoon in their dorm. 

“How do you pronounce it again?” Peter asked.

“Exactly how it’s spelt,” James replied, “A-vi-fors.”

“Avifors,” Peter muttered to himself. 

Remus kept repeating the wand movement, seemingly staring into nothing. He looked smaller than usual, with his knees to his chest.

“Relax a little,” Sirius said, and Remus jumped out of his trance, “You did Lumos fine!”

“Yes Sirius but this is a more advanced spell!” Remus responded, a bit harsh, and returned to his trance. 

“It’s still in the beginner transfiguration book, it can't be that hard!” James aimed his wand at his quill, “ Avifors,” he muttered, and the quill turned into a bird. “See? Not hard at all!” 

Sirius decided to try it next, on his History of Magic textbook. He didn’t think he had opened it once, it wouldn't be a loss if something went wrong. 

“ Avifors,” he muttered, and there were now two birds flying around. “You’re next!” He said to Remus, as they all watched the birds circle the room. Remus took a breath and aimed his wand at a piece of blank parchment. No sooner than later, there was a third bird.

Peter looked nervous, his eyes were narrowed in concentration as he pointed his wand at his own quill. He shouted “Avifors!” And to Sirius’ slight surprise, a fourth bird appeared, although it was smaller, slower, and looked a bit weaker compared to the other three.

“Awesome!” Peter exclaimed, looking very proud of himself. 

“Um guys,” Remus asked, looking at the birds nervously, “Did we ever learn a counter-charm?”

Sirius made his way down to the Dungeons at Midnight, as did the other three to their own respective positions. They had all agreed to start the spell at 12:30, and this would give them enough time to dodge Filch, Peeves, or anyone out after hours. 

He got there at 12:25. Sirius sometimes wondered what the Founders of Hogwarts had been thinking, making a school this large. It should not take him twenty minutes to walk from his dorm to the Potions classroom. The Castle was beautiful, the sight of it was carved in Sirius’ mind like stone, but was there really a reason for it to be this large?   He only took one wrong turn too, which Sirius was proud of himself for, but that would have only added five minutes max. 

He checked his watch. 12:29. One minute left. Excitement rose in Sirius, one different from the times he had deliberately disobeyed his Mother and Father. He didn’t know if he or the other three would get detentions or not. Only if they got caught, obviously, but Slytherins were dumb and Sirius was fast. He almost wanted to get caught, so his only detention at Hogwarts wasn’t for throwing a dungbomb. He had not enjoyed helping Sprout clean out the old Greenhouse Monday night. 

12:30. Sirius began transfiguring everything in sight. A statue of Salazar Slytherin, a quill that had been dropped on the floor, and he took particular enjoyment in transfiguring a trophy that had been given to Narcissa near Potions. He ran into the Potions classroom, transfiguring every cauldron he could find. Professor Slughorn kept the potions still brewing locked in storage, probably for this particular reason, so he did not target those. There was a quill dropped where Snivellus usually sits, and Sirius pretended it was his last one as he hexed it, rendering Snivellus unable to do any-

“Mr. Black! My goodness!”

Sirius turned around, Professor Slughorn, in a robe and slippers, was standing in the doorway.  

Fuck. 

“You’ve about woken up the entirety of Slytherin!” He wheezed, as he made his way towards him, “What is the meaning of this?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Sirius responded, with a smile, “figured I’d have some fun!” 

Professor Slughorn hesitated for a moment, apparently thinking over Sirius’ response. “Well,” he said, “this is a rather impressive bit of magic, considering you're only in your first year. I will let Professor McGonagall handle your punishment, she is Gryffindor’s Head of House after all.” 

Welp, Sirius thought as he was led to McGonagall’s office, I’m getting detention for sure. He wasn’t particularly mad about it at all. This was much more memorable than a dungbomb, and Professor Slughorn had said the entirety of Slytherin was woken up…

“Another one! Not surprising, given your behavior in my class!” 

They had reached McGonagall’s office, she was up, and not alone. James and Peter were standing in front of her desk. Remus was the closest to her office, so if he wasn’t here now, that means he likely hadn’t gotten caught at all. 

Sirius grinned at James, and looked to McGonagall, “Not a fan of birds, are you?”

Professor McGonagall's lips went very thin. “May I ask why all three of you were caught transfiguring various castle objects into birds?” 

“Thought it would be a bit of a laugh?” James tried. 

Professor McGonagall turned to Peter, “And what is your reason, Mr. Pettigrew?” 

Peter looked at James and Sirius, “Same reason as James.” 

“Well,” McGonagall continued, looking back at all three of them, “All three of you will be receiving a detention, and I will be docking 10 points from Gryffindor each.”

“I thought you liked us!” Sirius exclaimed, in mock hurt. McGonagall’s lips went, if possible, even thinner, but Sirius swore he saw a flicker of a smile pass her eyes.

“Well, Mr. Black, I do not teach Avifors until the second year, meaning you three have done extra work outside the classroom. 5 points to Gryffindor each.” 

Professor McGonagall led them back to Gryffindor Tower, the birds had been cleared up here, but Sirius could hear them in the Great Hall and First-floor, and highly suspected the Dungeons were still flocking with birds. 

Remus was sitting on his bed in their dorm. “Is it safe to assume you all got caught?” He asked skeptically.

“Yup!” Sirius responded, “Detention and ten house points each-”

“But she also gave us five points each,” James smirked, “I knew she liked us!” 

“McGonagall gave house points for breaking the rules?” Remus asked, looking very confused.

“Technically, she did,” Sirius responded, taking a seat on his own bed, “Avifors is a second-year spell, and she said it required ‘extra work outside the classroom. I think it was just an excuse to give her favorite students free points.”

“How’d you get back up here?” James asked Remus, “You were closer to her than I was, and I was the first one caught!”

“Well um,” Remus looked at his hands with a guilty look on his face, “I was right next to her office when she came out, so I kinda just ran?”

“You left us to the dogs?” James asked, in mock hurt.

“Wouldn’t it be cats?” Peter interrupted from his own bed.

“He’s right! She’s a cat Animagus!” James pretended to be hurt again, “You left us to the cats?”

“Yeah,” Remus said softly, “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” James said dismissively, “One detention isn’t a big deal.”

“Not me though, you traitor!” Sirius shouted dramatically and tackled Remus. Sirius knew he had a bit of an advantage in the fight, Remus was small and looked very weak, and Sirius was one of the tallest and strongest in their year. They wrestled on the ground, Sirius holding back a little as to not seriously injure Remus.

“I win,” Sirius said. He had Remus pinned to the ground, he looked a little out of breath and shocked. 

“Thanks, I didn’t know.”

“Now you have to run through the Great Hall naked-”

“I did not agree to anything, Sirius.”

Sirius grinned and let Remus go, holding his hand out to help him up. He ignored the swooping sensation in his stomach as Remus grabbed his hand.