Chapter 7
Lisa promised to pick up Carla this time, only to be able to treat her to a limousine pick up. Lisa thought that if they were attending this charity event properly, they were doing it in style. Besides, anything to not draw attention to themselves, despite being ticket holders and looking dressed to impress.
Lisa had been out especially to buy her outfit. She’d opted for a stunning sapphire blue dress, that fitted perfectly to accentuate her figure and it flowed to the floor gracefully, adding that hint of sophistication.
It adorned a romantic sweetheart neckline, that showed off her collarbones, and the puffed sleeves were designed with delicate lace detailing. She’d paired the dress with a delicate silver beaded belt that hugged her waist, adding that touch of sparkle along with her understated silver jewellery that only enhanced her look, without overpowering it. Then Lisa opted for silver heels, knowing that she’d need a bit of height on her, especially compared to Carla - and even more so if Carla had too, opted to wear heels.
Truth to told, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t out to impress Carla. It had been a long time since she’d dressed up like this, and an even longer time since she’d tried to impress anyone, but her feelings for Carla that she continued to keep beneath the surface, kept threatening to pour out, and so to have an evening together that could have had potential to be a date, but wasn’t a date, Lisa had felt the need to take advantage of such an opportunity.
Carla had opted to wear a stunning long, black velvet gown that hugged all her curves as it too flowed effortlessly to the floor. It featured a deep V-neckline which elegantly accentuated her décolletage, adding a touch of sophistication to her look. It adorned the same V shape down her back, falling just closed at the small of her back.
She styled her hair in soft waves, that cascaded over her shoulders and opted for a classic red lip to add that pop of colour. Her silver jewellery was subtle, but complimented the added sparkles that the top of her gown adorned.
Carla knew she was taller than Lisa, but she too opted for a heel, just incase the blonde had also. Having that height over Lisa, that ability to tease if she wished.
She hadn’t really known what she was doing, but she knew tonight she could be playful. She wanted to know where she stood with Lisa, without things getting too deep, without really admitting anything. It was a night to have fun, she supposed, with the added fact that they were supposed to be working, of course. However, Carla had certainly gone all out to impress Lisa, but she hadn’t quite expected the reaction she got.
“Fuck me, Carla!” Lisa exclaims as Carla opens the door. Lisa’s breath is taken away as she rakes her eyes up and down Carla’s body, taking in the sight of her in her stunning gown.
Carla quirks her eyebrow, a playful smile dancing on her lips. She was not expecting that.
“May I remind you that I am interested in women and then you go and wear something like this!” Lisa presses further as both her mouth and body betray her as her cheeks flush a deep crimson, revealing just how stunned she is by Carla’s beauty.
Carla relishes in Lisa’s reaction, uses it to give her the confidence she needs to get through tonight and is able to disguise her own thoughts about Lisa in her dress, thinking to herself that she’d never seen the other woman look so beautiful.
“And you’ll be turning heads all night. I always knew that blue looked good on you.” Carla offered Lisa a subtle wink as she held the door open for the other woman to climb into the limousine.
Lisa obediently climbed in first, taking the moment to hide the blush that still burned through her cheeks. Of course, she remembered all the times in what feels like their previous life that Carla had lapped out the compliments in such subtle friendly ways.
Blue brings out the colour in your eyes. Pink brings out the tone in your cheeks. Black highlights the subtle outline of your eyes.
Lisa knew what the compliments meant back then, but she felt what the compliments meant now.
As they sat in companionable silence, Lisa looked over at Carla. “Do you even know what to do at these things?” Lisa asked nervously, her voice shaking slightly. Lisa had actually been undercover many times in her career, but this felt entirely different.
“Are you nervous?” Carla teased, looking so deeply into the blonde’s eyes that Lisa could swear Carla could see into her soul. A small smirk playing across her lips. Carla had always seen herself as very confident, sure of herself but not in a cocky way, just in a I’m-too-old-to-care-what-people-think-of-me kind of way; a I’m comfortable in my own skin kind of way, and she also saw herself as protective of those she cared about. So to be able to be the confident one as well as the protective one was something she was deeply looking forward to. Especially when it involved Lisa.
“Me? No, don’t be daft…” Lisa tried to hide her slight inner turmoil, feign innocence, but the way her voice increased in pitch and her gaze deflected away from Carla, told the other woman all she needed to know.
“You are, aren’t you.” Carla poked playfully, the small smirk now turning into a wide playful smile.
Lisa blushes profusely, the pink tinge creeping up her neck and into her cheeks gave her a soft flow in the dim light of the limousine.
Carla reached hesitantly over towards Lisa, who was now looking out the window, lost for words.
With gentle determination, Carla’s fingers brushed lightly against Lisa’s as she slowly intertwined their fingers. It was a small gesture, but in this moment, it spoke volumes. It began to solidify for Lisa that Carla knew what she was feeling, when she was feeling it. It scared her back then, when Carla could see and feel the pain in Lisa’s expression no matter how much she’d tried to hide it, and it scared her now that Carla could see and feel her nerves but knew exactly what to do.
Lisa let her tense posture relax though, and her breath caught for a moment as she let her own fingers wrap slip in between Carla’s, embracing the warmth of her touch. She felt her neck and cheeks redden further, if that was even possible, so didn’t dare to look across to Carla, instead held her gaze out the window.
The silence between them enveloped them, but it was a quiet solidarity that wrapped them up together like a soft blanket. That was until the silence was broken with chatter and liveliness as they began to close in on the venue as the limousine pulled up outside.
— — —
As Lisa’s mingling in with the crowds, she spots Carla over by the bar, chatting to a tall handsome man. She feels a sudden surge of jealously as the man flirts with Carla, but the more she concentrates on the interaction between the two, seen as she can’t peel her eyes away, the more she notices Carla’s body language, the way she shifts on her feet. Lisa was always good at reading body language as a detective, she could always read someone’s emotions just from the way they were portraying themselves. It came in useful in many ways, to both help and support people but also to grapple those convictions too.
Lisa leaves her empty champagne flute on the tray of a passing waiter, smooths down her dress and confidently strides over towards Carla, with purpose.
Carla doesn’t notice her at first, until Lisa effortlessly slips her hand around Carla’s waist, skimming the soft bare skin at the small of her back, where the dress lay exposed. Carla melts into the warmth of Lisa’s touch as Lisa pulls her slightly closer, her confidence radiating. Lisa doesn’t really know entirely what’s come over her, but she goes with it.
The handsome man that had been trying to flirt with Carla, steps back slightly but when he still doesn’t appear to have got the message, Lisa leans in closer to Carla, her lips brushing against her ear and Carla swallows hard as she feels the warmth of Lisa’s hot breath on her skin.
“Hey, you look absolutely stunning tonight.” Lisa whispers, glancing at the man out of the corner of her eye and when he still hasn’t quite got the message, Lisa ranks up the volume a little, giving Carla a reassuring squeeze. “You know, I have some special plans for you tonight that I think you’ll really enjoy. Just the two of us, no interruptions. Care to join me?” She teases Carla further by rubbing her nose against her ear and she’s sure, she’s absolutely sure that Carla’s just squeezed her thighs together.
“Tom, this is my girlfriend Lisa, Lisa, this is Tom.” Carla gestures, introducing them both but Tom doesn’t hang around any longer. With an apologetic smile, he excuses himself and disappears back off into the crowd.
Carla’s cheeks were burning, feeling a mixture of emotions from Lisa whispering sweet nothings into her ear, to the warmth of her breath on her skin, to the thrill of saying this is my girlfriend, Lisa.
Carla knew she had to somehow play back to Lisa’s flirting and she wondered if Lisa really had any idea what she was doing to her right now, so hoped the quick quip of the phrase ‘this is my girlfriend’ might have equally made the blonde squirm, but much to her digress, it didn’t seem to have the effect she was hoping for. Lisa was still exuding an air of confidence around her.
Carla knew it had just been a ruse, but she couldn’t help but notice how comfortable she felt with Lisa’s arm around her, how excited she felt at the words Lisa had whispered and how warm she felt, how natural the words this is my girlfriendhad fallen from her lips.
“I need a drink.” Carla uttered quickly, her mouth suddenly feeling dry, like it was about to close up. As Carla ordered herself and Lisa a large glass of red wine, Lisa was suddenly conscious of the intimacy that still lingered between them, having seemingly got carried away herself, she gently removed her arm, a hint of shyness creeping back in. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ she began, but Carla cut her off as she handed her one of the large glasses of wine she’d ordered. “It was nice.” Carla admitted, smiling softly at the blonde. Finally, finally it seemed to have drawn an effect on Lisa.
As they both burst out laughing at the absurdity of the situation, Lisa couldn’t help but see the glint of excitement and curiosity in Carla’s eyes. She thinks she surprised Carla with her confidence but truthfully, she’d surprised herself.
As the laughter died down, the weight of unspoken words returned, and they both felt the magnetic pull between them. It was a feeling that wasn’t the first time it had returned since that night five years ago, but each time it did return, it felt stronger.
“You ever going to ask me out, Lisa?” Carla asked as they both leant against the bar, shoulder to shoulder, not facing each other.
The question was bold, strong, out of the blue, you could say. But truthfully, it was buried somewhere in the subconscious of both of them.
“I’m just waiting for the right moment.” Lisa returned, her voice barely a whisper.
“That’s good to know.” Carla let the smirk tug at the corner of her lips, careful not to give away the excitement that Lisa’s answer had washed over her. “All right, I’ll see you in a bit…I’m going to mingle some more.” Carla added as she turned to walk away.
“Carla, I’m waiting for the right moment because when I ask you out, there’s going to be no turning back for me. I’m not going to date anyone else for the rest of my life. I’m not going to love anybody else for the rest of my life.”
The confession was bold, brave and completely rooted Carla to the spot.
“I’m waiting for the right moment Carla, because there will only ever be you, only you, for the rest of my life.” Lisa finished, finally letting the breath she didn’t realise she was holding in - out. Almost in a desperation for air.
The silence hung between them for just the right amount of time, the air, electric. If ever there was a moment when Lisa had taken Carla’s breath away, and trust me - there had been many - this moment, outweighed them all. Both women couldn’t hide their smiles, both swallowing away the remnants of their nerves.
Nothing else was said verbally after that.
Feeling the need for some time apart, they both agreed to split up again as Lisa spotted a face she recognised across the room. A face from her past. Someone she never thought she’d ever see again. The nerves she’d felt from being close to and teasing Carla, had turned into a mix of fear and horror.
As Carla drifted off towards the activities of the PM and his wife, Lisa made her way across the room, closer to the face from the past, but making sure she stayed under the radar. She switched her phone on to record, and hung about close behind, making sure to capture the conversation.
The more Lisa heard, the more her body started to tremble. Tears formed in her eyes and she felt it coming.
She knew the signs. The symptoms.
Feeling her heart race, rapidly.
Her breathing laboured. Her throat was closing up. She almost couldn’t breathe.
Panic.
She runs to the toilet, hoping to have not been seen. Hoping to not have humiliated herself. Certainly hoping to not have been seen by him.
Carla noticed though. Of course she did.
And so she shoots across the room to the ladies toilets. As she pushes the door open she can hear the panic in Lisa from the other side of the locked cubicle door. Carla approaches tentatively to where Lisa’s locked herself in.
“Hey, it’s me.” Carla spoke softly at first, her voice no louder than a whisper. “Can I come in?” She asked, but there was no response. Carla didn’t want to mess around. “Okay, so you can either let me in, or I’ll let myself in. It won’t be the first time that I’ve climbed over the side of-“
With that, Lisa unlocked the latch and the door swung open slowly by itself. Carla moved in to the cubicle carefully as she locked the door behind her. Her heart ached at the raw sight of the blonde. She was sat on top of the toilet lid, legs tucked up underneath her. Her dress splayed out around her. She looked so small and vulnerable.
Carla’s movements were slow as she prised Lisa’s hands away that were wrapped tightly around her legs. Carla knelt on the floor in front of the blonde. Next, she carefully encouraged Lisa to put her legs down, so she was able to slide between Lisa’s legs, as they came face to face, their bodies almost touching. Close enough to feel the heat radiating from one another.
Carla cupped Lisa’s face gently in her hands.
“Hey, look at me Lisa.” Carla stroked at the soft flushed tear-stained skin of Lisa’s cheeks. She could feel the heat burning from Lisa’s skin through to her hands.
Lisa held her eyes tight shut as she tried to steady her own breathing. She’d done this a million times before, but for some reason, this time it wasn’t working. She felt a mess and she was becoming angrier at herself by the second at how her body was betraying her, how her mind wasn’t allowing her to take back control.
“Lisa….it’s me. It’s Carla, come on sweetheart. Look at me, let me help.” Carla continued to coax gently and Lisa could feel the soft touch of Carla’s hands on her cheeks. She could feel her whole body tense. Still betraying her. Maybe she needed to listen to Carla, let her help. Maybe if she allowed Carla to take control, she could bring her back down. She’d never let anyone take control before, never let anyone see her like this before.
Lisa slowly opened her eyes. “That’s it, come on. Keep your eyes on me.” Carla said, her voice remained soft, calm, steady.
“Now, let’s focus on your breathing okay? Breathe with me, okay? One deep breath in for three and then we’ll breathe out for three.” Lisa nodded as she focused on Carla, she could see the worry etched in her eyes, but her touch and her voice echoed a warmth that was keeping Lisa grounded.
“In, one…two…three…out…one…two…three.” Carla kept count, breathing in and out with Lisa and finally after a few attempts, Lisa’s breathing seemed to be returning to normal.
“Alright?” Carla asked Lisa gently, smirking at the way Lisa had tightened her grip around her using her thighs. Lisa nodded, still not quite able to find her voice, instead she wrapped her arms around Carla and buried her face in the crook of her neck, still not quite releasing the grip of Carla from her thighs, finding comfort in being close to her. Carla too, wrapped her arms around the blonde, holding her close. They stayed like that for a while, quietly.
“Hey, come on. Let’s get you home.” Carla stood as Lisa reluctantly released her grip on Carla and instead took hold the hand she was offering to lead her out.
As the car pulls up outside Lisa’s house, they both climb out and Carla quietly follows Lisa to her front door, just wanting to make sure she gets inside okay.
“Will you come inside for a bit?” Lisa asks, her voice small and quieter than she expected, exposing her vulnerability. “Please.” She adds.
— — —
Once inside, Carla had kept control, making them both a hot drink, placing them on the coffee table.
“Do you mind if I go get changed?” Lisa asked, her voice tired, worn out almost.
As Lisa came back into the room, she’d removed her make up and her hair looked messy, disheveled as she sauntered back into the room in her pyjamas.
Carla swallowed hard, “I’m in trouble if that’s how you look on a morning.” She whispered to herself, albeit a little louder than intended. She took a gulp of her hot cup of tea, hoping it’d gone unnoticed to Lisa.
“What did you say?” Lisa asked innocently, hearing exactly what Carla had said but feigning innocence. Teasing at wanting her to repeat it.
“Nothing, never mind.” Carla’s cheeks flushed and suddenly she felt too hot, what with the hot cup of tea, her flushed face.
“Who says you’ll still be here in the morning?” Lisa quirked her eyebrow, playfully, feeling a little more herself after coming home, being in her home comforts and comfy clothes.
“Suddenly I feel overdressed.” Carla admitted, changing the subject while trying to hide the burning in her cheeks.
“You’re not overdressed. You look beautiful, Carla. But I brought you these incase you want to get more comfortable…bathrooms up the stairs to the right.” Lisa handed her a grey pair of joggers and a baggy t shirt.
Carla smiled softly as she moved from the sofa to head up the stairs. Lisa watched her as she left, savouring every inch of Carla that was exposed in that dress. She swallowed hard, partly grateful Carla had taken her up on the offer of the more comfortable clothes, otherwise she was in trouble.
— — —
Half an hour later Carla returned, feeling more comfortable, refreshed and enveloped in Lisa’s smell from the borrowed clothes. It was a welcome comfort as she joined Lisa back on the sofa, something she could get used to, she thought.
“I need to play you something Carla.” Lisa’s tone had become serious as she fiddled with her phone, finding what she needed, she didn’t wait for Carla to respond, instead, just hit play.
There was a gruff mans voice on the recording, but you couldn’t hear who he was talking to or how the other person responded. It was too muffled.
“Ah yes, I do remember her now. Feisty one that one. Too big for her boots I’d say.”
~~ ~~ ~~
“I wish I could have been there for her, although it’s funny how everything unfolded in the end.”
~~ ~~ ~~
“If only she hadn’t been so reckless, if only she’d listened to me.”
The recording stopped.
Lisa looked heartbroken.
“That was Bex’s partner at work. That’s who I saw tonight and that’s what sent me into-“ Lisa paused. “Well, you witnessed that didn’t you.”
“Has that ever happened before?” Carla asked gently, but Lisa ignored the question.
“I think we need to look into him, investigate him. It’s not just a gut feeling Carla, something isn’t right. Not just about what happened to Bex but there was a reason he was there tonight. I think he could have been involved in something, I think Bex was right…” Lisa trails off.
“What do you mean not just about what happened to Bex? What was she right about Lisa?”
Lisa took a deep breath. This was all becoming a bit too much.
“Bex believed that her partner, DS Greenwas involved in something dodgy, something suspicious. He was always disappearing, taking phone calls, always secretive. He was leaving her on duty on her own, he was late to work, but she always covered for him. She covered for him for too long, until one day she decided enough was enough. There was always something bigger, bigger than Bex, bigger than me. I didn’t believe her at first, too caught up in my own cases, I was a DS, he was an equal and she was just out of her detective training having passed her exams for the DC position, accusing her superior officer and so I just didn’t listen. She didn’t hate me for it, didn’t resent me for it but it lead her to taking things into her own hands. Instead of going to our superiors about her suspicions, believing that they wouldn’t believe her if her own wife didn’t, then she felt she needed more evidence…so she followed him. She never came back from that. She died at the scene.”
Carla remained silent as Lisa paused, allowing her to continue.
“He was there, of course. Claimed Bex died a hero, saved his life. But really she was a victim. Victim of a drug gang and caught in the crossfire. Someone went down for her murder but it never made any sense, he wasn’t even there, but he was going to prison anyway for murder so I think someone bought his silence, he went to prison in return for a hefty sum of money. Then DS Green gets let off, continues his work and his life.”
“Why do you think he’s so involved?” Carla asks carefully.
“Because that’s what I’ve spent the last five years researching, as well as ticking everything off on Bex’s bucket list…I also wanted to get her justice, want to get her real justice.”
“Why haven’t you gone forward?”
“Because he’s dangerous Carla, and I need more evidence. If I’d of known even for a second that Green was caught up in all of this, I’d of told you not to go ahead with this case, warned you off. I don’t want you caught up in all of this, there’s too much at stake and-“
“It’s too late for that.” Carla’s tone is steady, firm.
“Too late for what?” Lisa asks.
“For me not to be caught up in this case…in you.” Carla continued. “We’ll meet tomorrow with Ryan, we’ll see if we have enough to go to the police with and if not, we keep going. Think you’ll be okay for that?”
Lisa nodded as Carla got up to leave. “Today has been a lot, Lisa. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She offered Lisa a soft smile.
“Don’t go just yet.” Lisa’s voice seemed to become smaller, more vulnerable. “I really don’t want to be on my own.”
Without any hesitation, Carla sank back down next to Lisa. “Okay, come here.” Carla gently offered Lisa into her arms, throwing a blanket over them both as she felt Lisa’s warm body nestle into her side.