jealousy in secrets
It had been two weeks since the second 'prank' and James was still furious. In fact very opposite to usual James behaviour he had skipped all his classes and only left the confinement of his bed to attend quidditch practice. Very obviously though he had not forgiven Sirius, he was actually avoiding him at all costs. The others in the room assumed it was just because Sirius had been the ones to do the prank but again it was so much more.
In James's mind Sirius had turned from a joking prankster to a villain, the very opposite of what he wanted to be. Him and the marauders were no better then the people their prank had hexed. But obviously it want just that, no. Ever since the events of that night Regulus had been completely ignoring him. You never would have known they were friends let alone more then that. James heart yearned for the younger boy and yet he couldn't go to him when he so clearly wanted nothing to do with him. And yet again it was all Sirius's fault.
That morning when the others had gone off for lessons McGonigal herself knocked on his door.
"Potter, I have let you get away with missing classes this long because I understand the trauma you have faced. But this is your final year and I cannot allow you to miss any further class" she said all this standing face to face with him after he had dragged himself over to the door hopping foolishly it would be a short Slytherin boy rather then the stern old lady.
He stared at her, a grin forming on his face "I'm fine Professor I promise. I've only been missing classes because I've felt under the weather." Why did he always need to be so positive? In his mind he would simply think about the fact that so many people had it so much worse then him and it was his responsibility to make them feel even a little bit better.
She gave him a knowing warm smile "If you say so Potter, but if you ever need to talk you know my doors wide open. And please get to class or I'm going to have to kick you of the Gryffindor team" And that was the notion that ensured he would attend class.
10 minuets later he was hurrying down the stairs in his somewhat scruffy robes. He swiftly made it to his potions class where the only seat available was of course the one next to Sirius.
He tried to ignore him. Scribbling the most un needed notes he would never look at again just so that he wasn't free for conversation.
"Prongs mate look I'm sorry" Sirius said in to his ear "I know I'm an awful person but you make me better and I need you"
James's heart shattered. Sirius was not an awful person, just a broken boy who did in fact need him. He thought deeply and decided.
"Its fine, I get you were angry. But in future don't harm people we don't need to. Pranks are supposed to be light hearted" James said looking at Sirius for the first time since the events. "Dude you look awful, Have you washed" he laghed.
"What happend with that girl you were going to see" sirius said, it was clearly playing on his mind.
"Well I decided... we decided we are done" James gave a defeated smile.
"s'alright mate. Hey I mean atleast your not a hosexual like me and moony" sirius said sarcastically glimpsing at remus from across the room.
James again fealty a tightness in his chest. Would Sirius just shut up. He felt so guilty not telling his best friend but how could he. 'Oh yeh Sirius by the way, I've been having hot, steamy makout sessions with your baby brother'. He was sure that would not go well. And there was also the issue of the fact Regulus wouldn't speak to him.
Regulus was sat alone at the back of his defence against the dark arts class. He didn't need it, he was considered the brightest wizard in his year. Not to mention the fact that his 'proffered' magic was the dark arts which he wad supposed to be learning to protect against.
"Regulus black can you please pay attention" the short little Flitwick implored. Both Barty and Evan turned to look at him.
They both knew that he was gay he could feel it. But the funny thing wad after his comment in the astronomy tower he was sure the two of them were aswell.
Would that be breaking news the same as his brother and lupin. Hmmm. Not that he would tell ofcourse. He wouldn't he wasn't that cold hearted, although they did try and hurt James. James.
He was not supposed to be thinking about him. Even though his heart wanted him he couldn't risk getting hurt, or losing him. But James was still stuck in his head, his tall muscular frame spyrling. He wanted nothing more then to be heald by him. He would want nothing else ever again if it meant James potters loving arms encased him.
He sat thinking about James for the remainder of his class. When it eneded he decided he had ro see him, not to speak to him but just to look from afar and make sure his lov... no not his, James was okay.
So he wondered past the dungeon stairs. Ofcoures he had memoried Jamses timetable. And there he saw the most horrible scene. Lily Evans was giggling and holding on to the bicep of his arm. James was just smiling down at her. Not telling her to get off, nothing. He was filled with rage.
He spun as fast as he saw sirius wink at James knowingly and just knew he had set that, whatever it was up. That was it he pointed his wand at lily and cat the bat bogey hex. Her shrill voice filled his ears as large bats flew out her nose. Regulus knew it wasn't her fault because how could she know that he spent his every waking moment needing James, wanting him close. And that's when it happend James caught his eye and he spun round swiftly. He wanted James to follow him, he needed him to.
And in very common James fashion he did. He followed regulus in to a passage behind a painting.
"What the fuck do you think your playing at" James shouted irately. James, his James would never shout at him why was he shouting. "You can't just go around hurting people regulus. I cant love a heartless vilen"
"I did it because I love you James. I cant not you are always on my mind no matter where I am. I want you. I need you. Your my sun your joy warms we it makes me less cold." Teers were streaming down his gaunt cheeks.
James's face immediately softened as he pulled regulus in to a tight hug burrying his head in his chest. "Reg I love you and only you. Lily is a friend. You can't react like that just because you see me talking to someone"
Regulus fealt so stupid he knew he couldn't resit James " But you looked so happy with her and we arnt even together so I guess I just assumed..."
"Wether we're together or not my heart is yours darling, you don't need to worry. I'm yours and only yours and I will shout it to the heavens if I've got two"
Regulus let out a muffled lagh as he embraced James back.
"Infact, regulus black will you be my boyfriend" his heart stopped, this was exactly what he wanted James to himself so he nodded in to James chest and them looked up slowly and cupped his lips atound the taller boys.
After a while James sat down against the wall and Regulus searched on his lap.
"James we can't tell anyone... my family"
"Hey, hey I know don't worry we can be just James and Regulus, we don't need to have the whole school know. But as I've told you I would happily tell the lot of them." Then James pulled of his necklace which bared the Potter family coat of arms. He transfigured it in to two separate neclases a sun and a star. " you can have the sun as I'm your sun and I'll have the star as your my little star. Then we both know the other is ours always and forever. And i also made it so when you press the middle of the sun the star will glow and vise versa so i can always be there when you need me ."