Out of the Woods

June 5, 1977, Uncle Alphard's House Tacoma Washington

“Lils I just don’t know what to pack, Do I even own anything outdoorsy?” he stresses throwing another shirt he didn't deem worthy of taking with him onto the bed. It’s been almost two weeks since Sirius and Regulus were sent to spend the summer with Alphard, their mother claiming that the two children were too much trouble to keep around while they had guests. It's not like either of them minded if anything this was preferred. Besides, Walburga has them sent to a boarding school for the rest of the year. What's another 3 months free of her terror? “Someone used to always pack for me how am I supposed to do it myself now” he whines to her.

“Didn't you just go shopping with Alphy?” her soft laugh comes through the line “You would assume you picked out something you could take with you.” Inside he knew his friend was right; he already had a wardrobe he enjoyed, even picking up more pieces while in the States. It should be easy to pack his bags for camp. Living with Alphard had given both him and Reg the freedom to dress up or dress down whenever they pleased while with their parents everything had to be perfectly tailored and always to impress. “Well if you want…” her voice snapped him out of his thoughts “ We can go through what you’re bringing when you get to my house.” Lily always the voice of reason when it comes to practically anything. “Just don't forget to bring the essentials” her warning made Sirius slightly uneasy. 

Blowing a sigh into the receiver he finally spoke up “I'm probably just worried about nothing, I just want to look punk rock while not dying in the sun. People have to know I’m cooler than them” Lily laughs at his remark making Sirius smile. The memories of grade school all coming back to him, Lily introducing him to actual music, not the bollocks classical his parents only played. She likes to joke that if she never played Bowie for him he would have ended up some stuck-up bloke following his parents like a lost puppy.

“Oh don't worry babe, I'm sure everyone will bow down at your docs the second you walk in” her laugh still ringing through the phone making Sirius’ heartache. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed Lily since she moved to the States with her mother and older sister. Only 5 more days until they were reunited properly. “Alright Siri don't stress too much but I have to go. Petunia needs my help with something” she groans at the thought of her older sister. After quick goodbyes and I love yous It was just Sirius sitting on the hardwood floor of his room. The quiet was never something he enjoyed having grown up in the cold dark halls of Grimmauld Place; quiet was always linked with fear. The fear of his parents hurting him again for a mistake he made, or worse of all hurting Regulus. Sometimes he thinks that if it wasn’t for Reg would he even be here? Shaking the thoughts from his head he stands and starts the short trek to the library his uncle keeps. He knew that if his brother was anywhere, he would be sitting in a secluded corner of the house with a book or a journal in his hand.

. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“Can you go one day without stomping through the halls?” an annoyed voice calls from an alcove as he turns into a corridor you could easily miss amongst the architecture of the home.

“Calm down Reggy I just came to check on you to make sure you haven't drowned yourself in that diary of yours,” every word said through a shit-eating grin stuck on his face since the younger brother's voice carried down the hall.

“I'd be so lucky to never deal with you again.” he retaliated while making room for his brother on the window. “I think being an only child suits me, don't you?”

“What are you writing anyway?” he sits dismissing Regulus' remark with a shove. “More drippy poetry that you'll never let me read?”

“It’s not drippy!!” Regulus defends himself with furrowed brows “It’s expressive and thoughtful, nothing you'd understand.”

“I'm just poking fun Reg I know you poets are such pretentious people” patting himself on the back for how easily he could annoy his brother. “But what are you actually working on right now?” smug smile still on his face.

“A letter” Sirius watches as his younger brother's demeanor changes from the smiling boy who was just joking with him to something much more solemn. Regulus always had a talent for looking like a naive child and someone much older who has seen too much simultaneously. His eyes drop to the paper as he continues with a sigh, “Mother Insists I update her weekly on lessons we’re continuing here with tutors and making sure we don't fuck up the family name” thickening his accent to mock their mother at the end. “What's the point of shipping us overseas if she still wants to manage every detail of our lives?!” he goes on with an exasperated look on his face.

“God that woman can suck the joy out of anything can't she?” he breathes out. No wonder his brother seemed stressed he had been covering for both of them lying to their mother about Latin lessons and whatnot. Their dynamic was strange in that way, Regulus whose every word was thought out properly before ever leaving his mouth, would talk them out of as many situations as possible while Sirius, who preferred jumping into a crisis head first, would take anything physical that Walburga and Orion did to defend his brother. 

“It's practically our heritage” Regulus mumbles under his breath, he rarely spoke ill of their mother out loud Sirius recognizes the hope he has that their parents can change for the better. “She's convinced that we would have been better off with Cygnus.” As far as anyone could remember Walburga had an obvious preference for her youngest brother, but whatever bond they had was dissolved when his second eldest daughter ran away from home and got married. No one in his family knew anything about him other than his lack of status and money, which was enough for the Blacks to shun not only him but Andromeda as well. While he was at school Andromeda would send him letters with updates from her new life, even sending gifts for him and Reg. From these letters, they learned that the man, Ted Tonks, was a genuinely pleasant person he taught at a public academy in Cambridge and coached rugby. He and Regulus both took a liking to him which Andromeda was incredibly relieved about. The arguably best message they've received was around two years ago, Andromeda informing them she had given birth to a baby girl.

“God, imagine having to deal with Bella and whatever bloke she's dragging along for 3 months?” he shudders at the thought of his older cousin. He and Bellatrix got along as children always running around with Andromeda in their families' manors playing dress-up and whatever games they could think of. Then something changed between him and Bella, she no longer dressed him up in her clothes or did his makeup instead she yelled at him. She yelled at him for the same reasons his mother would for slouching, talking improperly, and acting queer. She grew up into the Black name while Sirius grew to resent it. Sometimes he mourns their friendship, the way that they would run around screaming and laughing for hours, the music they would dance to, the jokes made but that would be soothed by the fact he still had Andy.

“Could you imagine having to spend an entire summer with a loud obnoxious family member?” Regulus says pointedly “Who could survive that” he continues unimpressed. 

“Oi! Don’t even compare me to her Reg!” Sirius remarks offended “Bellatrix is a literal space case she-she's properly insane!”

“Maybe if you didn't pick fights with her it’d be easier to deal with her,” his brother remarks shrugging. So what if he did argue with Bella it was deserved! “Plus Narcissa would be there too.” he goes on fondly. 

“I thought she was already living with that Malfoy bloke in London?”

“Mother said they were staying the summer in with Cygnus and Druella before the wedding”

“Ugh don't remind me of it, I'm already dreading it '' Narcissa, the youngest black sister, was engaged to a bitchy blond named Lucius Malfoy. Their family was ecstatic about the match. Malfoys were well known in London for their money and power they held in politics all over Europe. “I’m only going for Cissy, I cannot stand Malfoy” he grumbles to his brother.

“No one said you have to like him Sirius, you just have to show up and not do anything stupid.” Regulus always tries to point out how simple a situation is but in reality, it's practically the end of the world. Not only would he have to be dressed in the most absurd outfit his mother chooses and deal with his family but he would also have to deal with Lucius and whatever bitter guests he'd invite. “Narcissa can handle Lucius well enough for you to not break out into a fight” Regulus continues interrupting his sulking. 

“Whatever but I swear if he even hints at my girlfriend I'm swinging right there”

“We both know you wouldn't do that to Cissy '' his brother looks at him unimpressed. Narcissa and Regulus were practically inseparable as kids sometimes to the point it made Sirius jealous, Regulus was supposed to be his little brother. But as quickly as the jealousy came it went away, his brother was a much more quiet kid he preferred making things rather than knocking them down which made him and Narcissa perfect friends. They would walk around the properties making animal nests, finding hiding spots, and writing down everything they saw. It was easy to confuse them both for soft-spoken people, maybe even shy but Sirius knew better than that. His brother and cousin were both quick thinkers and could end any argument in a sentence or less.

“Sure” Sirius huffs and his brother's dismissal of emotions.

“Now if you're done with that fascinating complaint of our cousins can you get back to what you actually want?” 

“Oh, I completely forgot!” Sirius finally remembered the reason he came looking for Regulus in the first place.

“Shocking”

“I just got off the phone with Lily” He starts his story ignoring another remark from his brother “We were talking about what to pack and I needed to make sure you had your things together to leave on Friday?”

“Of course I do, I didn't wait until the last minute”

“Fuck off Reg Im just asking” Sirius grinning at his brother while standing back up.

“I'm assuming you're packed too then?” he shoots him a knowing glance.

“Obviously! I'm always ready” Sirius steps back into the hallways before Regulus calls him out on his obvious lie. “I'm turning in early, night Regulus!” He speeds back to his room after catching his brother rolling his eyes at him. 

After shoving all the clothes lying around back into a suitcase he flops into bed ungracefully letting his eyes fall shut. Maybe when he wakes up he could convince his uncle to drive them up to Lily's a day earlier than they planned.

. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

June 6, 1977 

Light knocking found its way into Sirius’s dream stirring him awake. “Alphard sent me to wake you, he’s waiting in the den with your brother.” The sound of the housekeeper Inês coaxing him to sit up and look at his clock. 9:54 he must have slept through the night.

“One second I need to change” he calls back while ripping off the jeans he fell asleep in last night. Settling for a pair of dark sweats, he opens the door to find Inês still waiting for him.

“Good morning Sirius, sleep well?” The woman smiles at him warmly. She was an older Portuguese woman in her late fifties wearing a warm-looking long sleeve shirt.

“A little too well I fell asleep in my jeans and I have marks all over my body” he lifts his arm to show her the creases left in his pale skin.

“You did sleep well then” she laughs while leading him to his family.

“I think I drooled on my shirt too,” Sirius says, earning another fond smile from the woman. He had immediately taken a liking to her the second Alphard introduced them and found himself following her around the house and even into town to help with errands. She showed him the basics of how to cook and clean something he'd never even thought of doing back in London yet he loved every moment of it. Regulus would sometimes join them in cooking, learning about Inês’s life and stories from her past. What shocked Sirius the most was how much of Inês’s life revolved around this home; her son was raised here while she was working under another owner. He hated to admit it but he wished he had been born her son on more than one occasion, she was the most compassionate adult he had ever met even when she scolded them. She never got mad when he messed up on a chore and she never made him or Regulus feel unwelcome.

“I already made breakfast you just have to serve yourself” she explains walking into the kitchen “I'm visiting a friend but I’ll be back before dinner” she goes on while Sirius watches her grab her things. “I’ll see you later queridinho” She rubs his shoulders before walking out to the screen door.

Sirius watches her grey-streaked hair disappear down the path to the main street before grabbing himself something to eat. Walking into the den he sees his brother with his legs folded underneath him on the carpet engrossed in whatever was on the television while his uncle reads the paper with a cigarette in his hand. “You couldn't have let me sleep any longer?” he complains to the room while sinking down into the couch next to his uncle.

“Any more sleep and it’d be a coma” Regulus states without looking away from the TV making Alphard laugh.

“And to think I was waking you up to give you good news and all I get is whining” his uncle taunts while putting out his smoke on the coffee table.

“News?” he questions, scarfing down his food while it was still warm.

“God you’re disgusting” Reg throws him a dirty look from his spot on the floor.

“Whatever, what's the news” pushing his brother's statement aside while grabbing himself a cigarette.

“I spoke to Lily and her mother-”

“What’d they say!”

“Well if you let me finish.” his uncle sighs “Rose said that if you boys would like you could visit earlier than planned and she would still be the one to drive you three up to camp.”

“How early!” Sirius jolts up, almost dropping his cigarette from his mouth.

“Tomorrow morning, and you would stay the rest of the week rather than just Friday night” his uncle shakes his head smiling. “Regulus already said he didn't mind but I know It's last minute and we can stick to the original plan but-”

“Are you kidding me? Of course, I want to go up early!” He sprints out of the den back to his room to call Lily leaving his uncle and brother sharing a look. Punching in the number to his friend's home phone as fast as he could, he waits bouncing on his feet. Before the first ring could even finish he hears Lily’s voice.

“So are you coming?!” her voice sounded just as excited as he felt.

“Obviously! How did you convince them?” he cackles into the receiver jumping onto his bed phone still in hand.

“I didn’t have to. I think my mum misses you just as much as I do” she laughs just as hard.

“Oh my god Lily I have to finish putting all my stuff together” he looks around at the clothes thrown around panicking.

“Just start shoving things in so we can fold here,” she says, still laughing.

. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

June 7, 1977 

The rest of the day goes by so quickly Sirius couldn't tell you what happened but here he was helping Regulus load his bags into Alphard's car before the sun was even out. It was a cool enough morning he could wear his leather jacket without sweating his life away. 

“God, did you bring your entire wardrobe?” his brother complains lifting the last bag into the trunk. 

“Yes,” he responds, flipping his brother off.

“Play nice Siri” a warm voice calls from behind him. Inês had herself wrapped in a shawl with a big smile on her face. He walks up to her with Regulus on his heels. “Are you boys ready?”

“Yeah we have everything I even made sure Sirius had enough socks” Regulus smiles at her. His brother was showing even more of a soft spot for the older woman than usual.

“You know what I mean anjinho” She opens her arms to Regulus pulling him into a hug. 

“I know Inês.” his brother sighs into the hug. It was a sight to see Regulus hug someone so openly but he couldn't bring himself to make fun; he was missing Inês already too.

“You'll be perfectly fine, you'll meet new people and maybe even someone you like. Just remember to let loose you're young” she speaks to him as he pulls away. “Go buckle up before your uncle gets impatient” She gives Regulus one last squeeze before he walks back sitting down in the passenger seat with a sad smile.

“Do I get a hug?” Sirius tries to avoid his obvious sadness of having to leave Inês while stepping into her hug.

“I'm going to tell you the same thing I told your brother, have fun, and don't be afraid to write if you need anything.” he hums in agreement not wanting her to let him go yet.

“I will, I promise” he sniffles not wanting any tears to fall.

“And try not to worry about your brother too much he can manage on his own sometimes” she smiles at him. “Plus with all the free time you might even have a chance to meet a nice boy while you're there.”

Sirius looks at her in shock. “How-” he starts confused.

“A mom always knows” her soft smile accentuated with her year's worth of laugh lines.

“So you know about-?”

“Yes, I talked with Regulus too” she practically read his mind. “You boys don't have to worry about me. I'm more like you two than you know” She grins at him while leading him to the car.

“Oh” is all Sirius can say, his tears already falling as he gets into his seat.

“You boys behave okay?” she says stepping away from the car to let it leave. He and Regulus both nod as the car pulls away. Sirius turns to watch her fade into the tall pines as they drive. He can't help but wonder if this is how it should have felt leaving his mother in London.

. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Sirius blinks awake focusing his thoughts. He rubs his eyes which are puffy from crying and falling asleep right after it didn't help much. Looking into the side mirror he sees his brother still asleep not looking much better than himself.

“Hey kid good timing” his uncle starts when he notices his consciousness. “It's almost 7 and we made pretty good time only 20 more minutes” 

“I need a fag before I see Lily” he states still not fully awake.

 His uncle chuckles as he tosses a pack to him.”Make sure to stock up before you get to camp; it'll be impossible to get them in there.”

He leans his head against the window watching the trees pass in blurs even in his sleepy state it was obvious how beautiful Washington was. Even on the side of a highway, there were still animals around. It was so different from London where you'd be lucky to see a squirrel while on a walk. He zones out listening to the soft music coming from the speakers for only a couple more minutes until he is with Lily. 

He perks up as Alphard pulls into a small neighborhood “Is this it?”

“Couple more houses to go but this is the street,” his uncle says calmly.

Suddenly it's impossible to sit still, his knees are bouncing like he's about to jump out of the car and run the rest of the way. As Alphard slows the car down to a stop in front of a brick house he sees the door swing open and a familiar flame of red hair runinning down the path. Before he can even process it he's running up to meet her in a bone-crushing hug.

“Oh my god I’ve missed you” Lily laughs rocking them side to side.

All Sirius can do is laugh and hug her even tighter. To the outside world, they would look like two lovers reuniting but during this moment there was no one else, just Sirius back in the arms of his best friend. Taking a step back he takes Lily in her white blouse and flared jeans almost the exact opposite colors as his.

A soft cough brought them both back to the real world. “Hello Lily", Reg's voice is softer than usual as he greets her. His brother has always liked Lily but he once confessed to Sirius that he was afraid Lily only put up with him because they were brothers.

“Regulus it’s good to see you!” Lily's multiple bracelets jingle as she gives Regulus’s hands a soft squeeze. “You've grown a lot since I’ve seen you”

“Almost two years It’s been too long,” Regulus says with a small smile on his mouth.

“There's no way it's been that long?” Sirius thinks back to Lily moving, since then he's only seen her a handful of times when he could sneak away from school his brother was never able to go with him. “That's mad” he blows out.

“Which reminds me,” Lily interrupts his shock. “Me and my mum went into town to pick up a couple gifts.” She addresses them both. “I didn't want you to get bored on the drive so I picked up a book or two. '' She turns her attention to the younger Black.

“Have you already read them?” Regulus’ interest peaked at the thought of comparing notes with Lily. 

“I’ve even annotated my own copy of one if you'd rather have that.” her smile becomes even broader as Regulus walks into the house. “They're on the shelf, just ask my mum to grab them!” she shouts before he disappears into the house entirely.

“You’d think you're his best friend the way you treat him” Sirius pouts.

“God don't be daft, I have new tracks upstairs waiting for you.” she playfully rolls her eyes.

“Start with that next time Lils!” Sirius laughs, grabbing his bags before walking into the house.

The smell of incense and tea hits him as he walks through the front door. Kicking off his shoes he spots his brother and Alphard sitting around the bar with Rose.

“Oh Sirius, It's good to see you” Rose opens her arms as she greets him, with her familiar necklace still around her neck as if no time passed since he last saw her.

“Rose a pleasure as always” Sirius throws a wink before letting himself be wrapped in a hug.

“How are you holding up dear” she whispers to him.

“Same as always” he sighs, inhaling her familiar smell before letting go.

“I'd like to say you've grown since I last saw you but it seems you're stuck” her warm hands holding his cheeks as she teases.

“I’ll have you know I've grown 4 centimeters in the past year. '' He lies trying to defend himself. Rose was right Black genes weren’t known for their height; he's been stuck at 168 since he was fifteen. “This is slander”

“Oi stop lying and get your arse over here” he looks up to see Lily leaning over the banister waiting for him.

He wastes no time running up the carpeted stairs knowing how much he and Lily had to catch up on. There were so many things that couldn't be said over the phone or put in letters without his parents or someone else finding out. He follows Lily into a room warmly lit by the open window. Sirius took in as much as he could; he'd never seen this room in person before, it was an off-white color with a couple posters hung above her floral bed and trinkets took up space everywhere, her window overlooked other houses and a distant view of mountains. He collapsed into a strange-shaped chair leaving his bag in the middle of the floor. 

“Feel free to make yourself at home” she snorts, taking a seat on the edge of her mattress. 

They fall into easy conversation gossiping about how school has been since Lily left. Sirius watches as she talks about her friends whom she's gotten closer to now that she's in the States full-time.

“I'm pretty sure Petunia fancied him a bit. She was always mad at me whenever I brought him up” She laughs as she tells a story about her friend James.

“Well, were the feelings returned?” Sirius giggles at the thought of Petunia being jealous over a boy.

“No James actually fancied me at the time and was very open about it” she laughs even harder. Sirius throws a questioning look her way as she talks. “Oh don’t worry he got over it in two weeks when I finally told him”

“Oh my god Lils you're a bloody player you have blokes falling for you and you're a lesbian” he laughs even harder at the poor boy who fell for Lily.

“Oh shut it! It was one boy and James has been holding onto this crush since we were 11” She tried to reason but Sirius could not stop laughing. After the jokes died down a realization hit him. Lily was out to at least one person here. 

“Wait, is everyone like that here?” he questions.

“Like what?” She looks confused.

“Okay with stuff like that…” he trails off.

“Well, James could never dislike anyone if that's what you're asking.” she pauses for a minute collecting her thoughts “I mean in this little area most are especially when you're friends with other queers” she goes on.

“You know others?” he asked shocked back in London the only queers he knew were also incredibly homophobic and just looking for a quick snog.

“Oh a whole bunch, sometimes I think everyone I know is a little gay” she laughs at the statement “I'll have to introduce you to some of them.”

“Speaking of friends, I thought you said you lived by a few?”

“Oh well Remus is already up at the campsite” The name sounds familiar from Lily’s other stories. “His parents are the ones who own it so they go up a week early to get everything ready, and James went with them this year.”

“I don't think I’ve ever seen a photo of Remus” he tries thinking back to all the photos Lily has sent him but can't put a face to the name.

“The bloke can’t take a good picture for the life of him so he's confiscated all evidence” she scoffs playfully “I'll have to introduce you.” Sirius hums in response.

“Mckinnon’s stuck making up school until the end of the week” she goes on with an eye roll. 

“Marlene, the blonde one with short hair right?” he asks, patting himself on the back when Lily confirms.

“And Pandora-” she cuts herself off, pressing her lips into a tight line.

“I haven’t heard much of her, is she not close to you?” he asks, questioning Lily.

“No really the opposite” She drops her head into her hands “We're almost too close.” Sirius waits for her to go on. “We're practically attached at the hip but she's so nice to everyone I don't know if she actually means it” she sighs.

“You like her then?” Sirius smiles at the thought of Lily crushing on a girl.

“Maybe?” her cheeks flushed a slight shade of pink.

“Well you'll have to introduce me before I approve” he moves to lie down next to her. “Any other earth-shattering news?”

“Tunnys getting married to a bloke she met last month” she states bluntly looking up at the ceiling.

“Pregnant or insane?” he asks, lying on his stomach.

“Insane” she clarifies.

The rest of the week was spent lounging around the Evans household doing whatever they pleased. Regulus would join them when he felt like it while Petunia would avoid them like they had the plague. Saturday morning came and the 3 of them piled into Rose’s van with suitcases they've checked countless times making sure they had everything. Sirius lets his head fall onto Lily’s lap as they drive thinking about what the next months would hold for him.