Pack!

               Chapter Twenty-Two

               Harry sat down right then and there on the marble floor and put his head on his knees, lightly banging his forehead on them, wondering in all seriousness if Merlin just hated him, or if it was fate was screwing with his plans in any possible way just because she could. There’s a research paper in this, he thought. Just how creatively can things go wrong with a simple plan, and who is ultimately responsible for what’s left of the poor chump involved? At that thought… “Sirius!” he bellowed.

               Sirius skidded into the bank lobby like a surfer hanging ten, body crouched, wand out. He looked at what was waiting, sighed, and stood upright, holstering his wand.

               Gathered around a makeshift table were nine adults in chairs, all of them professionally dapper in suits and ties, including the three women. There was an interrupted card game in progress with various sweets piled in front of each player. One was a delicate and fairly androgynous brunette who honestly couldn’t be more than ninety five pounds soaking wet and had a pile significantly higher than his compatriots. He smiled at Harry and he felt a chill reach to the center of his spine, realizing why card shark was often used instead of card sharp. “Note to self,” he thought. “That one’s scary, put a bell on him.”

               “So,” Sirius said, “As you seem to have been waiting for someone to arrive, I assume you’re here for a reason?”

               A silver haired but still youngish looking woman rose, pulling out a folio and a pen. “Are you Harry Potter?” she asked, looking Sirius up and down, then clicking the pen in preparation to write, her demeanor stern and no-nonsense.

               “Ah, no ma’am, I’m Sirius Black. That’s Harry over there. Harry stop that, you’ll give yourself a black eye. And probably a headache.”

               Heaving a sigh that came from his toes, Harry cursed one last time, then hauled himself up, walking over to the group like a man condemned. “I’m Harry. I’m aware I’m going to regret this, but how can I help?”

               The woman paused in the middle of already making copious notes, in regard to what Harry couldn’t even begin to guess. “Mr. Potter, I am Ms. Anderson and we’re your Gnomes. Where do you want us?”

               “I’m…sorry? I’m not sure I heard… My Gnomes? Right, just wait a moment. First, you are not Gnomes. Second, Gringotts said the Gnomes of Switzerland don’t exist, they made them up. And third, … what?”

               She looked at him over the top rim of her silver framed glasses, her gaze somehow making him feel like an inarticulate schoolboy. Which, to be fair… okay, moving on. “Young man, Gnomes most certainly do exist, and we most certainly are NOT the Gnomes of Switzerland.” Harry heard “Those pikers,” drift up from someone at the table. “We are the Swedish Gnomes, and you have our gold. We’d like it back, please.” Harry could tell straight off that the please didn’t really imply a courteous request. More like “hand it over”.

               Harry bit his tongue and counted to twenty in half remembered French. He didn’t even know where to start, and what tumbled out highlighted that fact in sharp relief. “Gringotts said the Gnomes were humans, they said, I mean, Eltiebs said really good banking humans, and she should know, right?” Harry was conversationally floundering and feeling like Sirius’ rug had just flown out from under him. He looked over to Sirius for support, only to find him leaning against the wall, shoulders shaking with laughter. “And besides, I don’t have your gold!”

               She drew in a long breath through her nose and briefly closed her eyes, as if praying for patience. “Mr. Potter. The Goblins have left. Their banks have had all accounts emptied. All gold once inside the Gringotts system is now outside of that system, would that be a correct statement to make at this time?”

               “Ah, yes? I suppose? I mean, I don’t know what all the Goblins exactly did, but there was this thing about recalling vaults and tagging, and there was something about notifying people to come get their stuff, so..”

               “Mr. Potter, if we could return to the point. We are the Gnomes of Sweden, the premier specialists in handling gold, being commonly referred to as gold bankers. We are experts in managing gold transactions, storage, and investments. Gringotts removed the entire volume of gold under our management without our knowledge or consent, also without giving us so much as twenty minutes notice. We are outraged.” She sounded rather calm for one suffering outrage, he reflected. “All Gringotts non-magical employees received a final communication with severance pay and instructions that the worldwide locations were to be converted for use non-magical use, but they were not to be used for banking purposes of any kind, Gringotts had a very strict non-compete clause. That notification contained one exception, the London Branch. That location, Mr. Potter, is the highest office of Gringotts, it’s the Global Headquarters, and it has been given to you. A man who, prior to this event, happened to be the single largest account holder in the London offices. Which means, Mr. Potter, you were the single largest account holder in the world. Not that you bothered to invest your gold wisely. Or at all. For years, Mr. Potter, we have attempted to reach you in order to bring your gold under useful management. Within all those years we have received no response from you directly and attempts all to arrange a meeting through your guardian were rebuffed. We were working on legally circumventing those interfering with our communications when this … event came about. All that being said, Mr. Potter, you have a staggering sum of gold at your disposal. You have removed that gold from Gringotts. We want that gold back and put to use. Credible rumor states that you have the means to take the London Gringotts branch with you to wherever it is you plan to go. To be crystal clear, Mr. Potter, as you have our gold, we are now your Gnomes. You will turn over your gold to us for management and in return,” she looked down her nose at him, as she a bit condescendingly said, “I suppose we could administer your bank.”

               Harry suspected he looked rather like an unblinking fish. “I’m not… you can’t just… I mean, you’re human. You are not Gnomes.” On this point he felt definite. Yes, quite definite.

               A searing blue eyed gaze met his through her silver spectacles. “Mr. Potter,” she said, her voice sharp enough to stop a rampaging Nundu dead in it’s tracks, “It takes two decades of demonstrated high level expertise to rise to the title of Gnome, and no more than ten may exist per country. Most of us began our training for the Gringott exams in primary school, and the applicants compete viciously for any spot that opens. I would appreciate it if you ceased your attempts to demote us, most especially as we are now your Gnomes. As there will be no further discussion on the point, please direct us to our departure location. We will schedule a meeting in the near future for recovery of our gold.”

               At this point Sirius was on the floor and gasping for air, holding his stomach in pain from the laughter. “No more, Harry, please, no more. I can’t take it. Send them to Hogwarts. And please let me send the Patronus to Remus, pleasepleaseplease?”

               Harry didn’t think he was giving in, no, he was certain it didn’t feel at all like giving in. It was much more along the lines of unconditional surrender, complete with pathetically waving white flag. His vocabulary centers crushed and shoulders slumped, he gave a limp hand flap towards the floo. “Fine, okay. Floo’s open, Hogwarts, address is Sanctuary. Meeting, yep, absolutely we’ll have a meeting. We’ll talk. Sirius, by all means go ahead and send a Patronus.” Finding a spark of something that could be an intact bit of his spine, he continued, “And stop laughing, you’ve got a trunkful of gold somewhere around too.” At that, all the Gnomes not already holding one pulled out their folios and the clicks of their pens were in perfect unison as they began writing. Snapping the notepads closed and stowing them away, they stood and picked up identical briefcases, pausing only to open them and sweep their candy chips inside, while the smallest of the group collected the cards and tucked them into his case with a satisfied smile. Then they filed into the floo and one at a time quicksmart vanished.

               Harry looked at a suddenly worried Sirius with defeated eyes. “I have Gnomes. You know, of all the phrases I thought I’d never say, that one is up there.”

               Once more he forced his focus back to the immediate needs and said “Patronus message to Linmy, Linmy, could you please ask the Patronus team to send out a message, as well as make sure everyone in the room is aware that in five minutes I’ll be Pack!ing Gringotts, it’s floo will be going offline. The Leaky Cauldron will be the primary floopoint for this area, traffic is to be routed through there. The Leaky will be left behind, it’s floo remaining open to accommodate every possible second. Please let Rosemerta know she’s free to Pack! The Three Broomsticks, we’ll rely on the Hogwarts and Leaky floos only going forward.”

               Harry spent his five minutes looking anywhere but at Sirius, who had regained enough of his amusement at Harry’s expense to send a gleeful Patronus message to Remus, telling him there were nine Gnomes coming through to Hogwarts via floo, and they belong to Harry. And to make absolutely sure that someone was bringing a penseive, because Remus had to watch the memory of their meeting. “It’s epic, Moony, epic!”

               Finally deciding he’d been chuckled at enough, he stood and with a moment spent to recognize how important this building felt to him, and to once again say thank you to the Gobin Nation as a whole, he Pack!ed Gringotts. Looking at the boxed building, he was shocked to see how little of the bank had stood above ground. Like the tip of an iceberg, the portion visible from the street was a tiny fraction of the whole. He wondered if the stone sides to the rest of the structure contained just vaults, because wow. Well, he guessed there’s be lots of opportunity to find out. Although, if the Gnomes were going to administer his bank, and he was quite sure he wouldn’t be permitted to disagree, he might have to do his bank spelunking before their as yet unscheduled meeting.

               Well. Moving on, Harry told himself, pulling his thoughts away. His “for later” problems were teetering overhead; Acme anvil at five hundred feet and falling with him nicely centered on the X, but best to put that thought off, too.

               With a gruff, “Let’s go,” from Harry, he and Sirius moved on to the remaining un-Pack!ed buildings.