For Now
My brother was anxiously pacing his classroom when I arrived. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, and knowing him, he probably hadn’t. I knew whatever he had to tell me was serious, because he was so deep in his thoughts he didn’t hear me come in.
“Remus, can’t this wait until you get some rest? You look… not great,” I said, distracting him from the trance he was in.
“I’m afraid not, Cassandra. Let’s go talk in my office,” he said, and I followed him up the stairs at the front of the room and into his office. I sat with my legs criss-crossed in the seat in front of his desk. He sat behind his desk, making me understand the severity of what he was about to tell me.
“I’m really happy you’re here, Remus,” I said, trying to rid the room of the tension. It didn’t work. He either didn’t hear what I said or chose to ignore it.
“Have you been reading the Daily Prophet, Cassandra?”
“When have you ever seen me read a newspaper?” I joked. He did not find this funny.
“I think it might be wise for a witch your age to be aware of what is going on around her,” he said, a tone of anger in his voice. “Sirius has escaped from Azkaban.” It felt like my heart stopped. Every part of my body felt like it was on fire and my dinner was slowly making its way back up. What was I supposed to say? The man who everyone says is the reason our family was destroyed escaped from one of the most secure places in the world? Even though I believed he was innocent, his escape from Azkaban made me feel anxious and, honestly, quite scared. I don’t care if he hurts me, all I know is that I want answers. I want to know why he ruined the only family I would ever have.
“We have to find him,” I said, jumping up out of the chair and pacing around the room. “He can’t be far, you know he’ll want to find us.”
“Absolutely not,” Remus said, standing in front of me and stopping my pacing. “So help me Cassandra, if I find out you are trying to find him or get in touch with him I will have you put on a lockdown in your dormitory, do you understand me?” I pulled away from him and walked to the other side of the room. He followed me and gripped my shoulders “I am serious, Cassandra. He is dangerous. You don’t know what he is capable of.” I looked up at my brother. How could he not want to find him? How could he believe that Sirius, our Sirius, is actually that dangerous? I collapsed into Remus’ arms and cried. He held me and stroked my hair, “I’m sorry, pumpkin. Our lives are different than they were 12 years ago. I also wish that we could go back and change what happened, but that is not possible. Promise me you will be smart about this and keep yourself safe. And please, do not tell Harry anything.” I shot my head up to look at him. I never told him about Harry, how did he know he was here? As if he could read my mind, he said, “Of course I know that Harry is here, I am quite bright, you know,” we laughed together, and I finally felt the tension leave the room. As soon as it left, I realized I had another heavy topic to discuss with him.
“Remus, are you going to be okay teaching at Hogwarts? I know you wouldn’t come if you didn’t have a way to keep yourself and everyone safe, but I just want to make sure.” I didn’t know if my brother would answer this. He has never really opened up to me about his condition, but I’ve always wanted to make sure he was okay.
“Yes, pumpkin. I only accepted the position because I have worked out an agreement with Professor Dumbledore. Please, don’t worry yourself about me. I want you to focus on staying safe and being a good student. From my talks with the other professors so far, I have yet to hear a bad thing about you. They all have wonderful things to say about you as a student. I am proud of what a talented young witch you are, Cassandra.” His words put my anxiety at ease. I knew he would keep himself safe, so I owed it to him to keep myself safe. Our sweet moment was interrupted by a knock at the door. “Come in,” Remus called. George walked in, and I looked at my brother confusedly. “I asked George to come walk you back to your common room. I expected you to be quite shaken from our talk, and I figured it best to have someone with you on the way back. Go get some rest, I love you, pumpkin,” he said, bringing me in for a hug.
“I will, but you have to promise you’ll also go and rest,” I mumbled into his chest. He pulled away and looked down at me.
“I promise. Now get back before you get in trouble. Thank you again, George.” George nodded in response, and we left Remus’ office.
--
George was quiet on our way back to the common room. While I appreciated him not talking about what happened earlier in our day, I didn’t want to be lost in my own thoughts. Everything Remus told me about Sirius had my head spinning. I wanted answers, but I also knew that seeking out the answers could be dangerous.
“Are you excited for Defense Against the Dark Arts with your brother? I think its going to be wicked having him as a teacher,” George said, and I was reminded why he was my best friend. He always knew exactly what to say, and he would never try to make me upset. I knew we needed to talk about Fred lashing out at me on the train, and his genuine concern for me going out with Oliver, but George could read me like a book. He knew I needed light conversation, and that’s what he gave me.
“I think it’ll definitely be weird at first, but my brother is an amazing wizard. I’m sure it’ll be incredible to learn from him,” I responded. “Are you excited for quidditch this year? When are you guys starting practices?”
“Tryouts are next week, so Oliver was trying to have a few meetings this week to talk about what we’re looking for.”
“Well that’s fun. I can’t wait to watch you guys play again. I missed it over the summer.”
“Yeah…” George said, and I just knew what he was going to say next. “I think maybe you should skip the first few practices, just until Fred calms down.” I knew George was coming from a good place, but I couldn’t help but feel angry at his suggestion.
“Fred isn’t my only friend on the team. I’m not missing watching my friends play just because he’s upset with me. It’s none of his business if I go or not,” I said, louder than I intended to. George clearly immediately regretted bringing this up.
“Cass, calm down,” he said as he stopped walking and stood in front of me. “I know Fred was a git on the train today. He has a weird way of showing it, but he just wants to make sure you don’t get hurt. Hell, I do too. But I understand that you’re capable of making your own decisions, I just wanted to make a recommendation, that’s all.” He turned around and began walking away. I stood still for a moment, contemplating if I should argue with him but in all honesty, I couldn’t find anything to argue back about. I was happy to have friends who cared so much about me, but I couldn’t help but feel that something more than caring if I got hurt was behind Fred’s anger toward Oliver and me.
I jogged to catch up with him and we walked in silence back until we reached the entrance to the common room. George said the password, the portrait swung open, and we entered the room. I was more than happy to be greeted by the warmth of the raging fireplace in the center of the common room. The chill in the castle and the anxiety caused by the news my brother shared were causing me to feel cold and shaky. I took a seat on the couch in front of the fireplace and let my mind wander as I stared at the flames. I felt a blanket wrap around my shoulders and felt the couch sink as Fred sat next to me. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his side. I didn’t argue, purely due to the fact that he was helping me warm up. So much for distancing myself from him.
“Thank you,” I said so quietly I wasn’t sure he heard me.
“You’re nose and ears turn red when you’re cold. While you make an adorable Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer, I know how much you hate being cold.” He was right. Ever since we were kids, I would spend the colder months stealing clothing from them to try and stay warm. By the end of the winter, I would have piles of sweaters that belonged to almost everyone in the Weasley household. There was just something about Molly’s sweaters. I swear, you could survive a blizzard in just her sweaters.
“I forgot how cold the castle gets at night. I’m doomed when winter actually comes.” We laughed and sat in silence. I looked up at Fred and noticed he was lost in his thoughts. I recognized the look on his face almost instantly. In all the time I have known him, he has always made the same look when deep in his thoughts. Most of the time, he was lost thinking about the elaborate plans he and George would come up with. I could tell that this time, he was thinking of what to say to me. “It’s okay, Freddie,” I said. He looked down at me with a look of relief on his face. I felt the couch dip on the other side of me. I looked over and George was smiling at us.
“So, is everything okay?” He said, looking between Fred and I.
I looked up to Fred and he looked down at me. “For now.”