Onwards
The world had not been kind to Severus Snape. Right from the beginning, the world had been cruel. His mother, a witch, had married a muggle, who seemed charming and cool at first but in reality was a drunk and a smoker. Then, school. Muggle school. He was targeted as a weirdo and bullied as an outcast. The only sliver of light in his life was Lily - fierce, protective, kind. But she had been torn from him at Hogwarts, being sorted in Gryffindor while Severus was shunted into Slytherin where he was outcast before he was able to prove himself the best in every hex, charm and jinx he could scour in the library books. But the Slytherins were wild - they were violent, pressuring and rough.
But Xavier was soft.
His hands, as they wrapped around Severus’s ones, were soft and warm. Uncalloused or scarred, they had never seen the horrors of war or murder. But they fit in with Severus’s skeleton-like hands.
Xavier’s eyes were soft too. Melted gold and green, not searching or wanting, just a steady, present gaze.
His hair, as Severus ran a shaky hand through it, was soft and fine.
His lips, from memory, were soft too.
They opposed each other. Dark and light, soft and hard. But, somehow, they worked.
Xavier and Severus had been seeing each other for three weeks since they had met. Severus felt drawn to him - some other force kept pushing them together. Not that he was complaining - Xavier was everything he seemed to need: someone to talk to, someone to be with and something to keep him grounded. Xavier, when Severus had asked, said that he was drawn to Severus in the same way - someone who was new, who he could love and know that he was loved the same. To Severus, Xavier was someone who he was comfortable showing his scars and who would not judge him for the multitude of them.
Xavier was his. His, his, his.
Severus would never let go of the kindness Xavier had treated him with or the grace with which he was handled when in his presence. He didn’t deserve him, Severus knew he was too dirty, too rotten for Xavier, that he was black and twisted and ugly and Xavier was all hope and light and normalcy. Severus wanted to prove to him that he could handle this - whatever they were to each other.
Months after Xavier and Severus had initially met, Xavier left his shitty flat and moved in with Severus. Severus had noticed some changes to his (their) house.
For one thing, he personally would never choose to keep and display a bloody flower pot with the slogan ‘Water, sunshine and good vibes’ but apparently Xavier had been gifted it from a student he taught. There was also more plants around, mostly magic kinds, which Severus was fine with as he could use them for his potions, and his bookshelf had been terrorised with some strange book series about wardrobes and lions but apparently Xavier had been gifted it by a student and didn’t have the heart to let it go - as ignorant of wixen society as it was.
There was a brightness to the house that hadn’t been there before - the curtains were drawn regularly now, the garden was tended to. The house heard laughter and love now rather than bitter regrets and anger. Severus kept the floor swept and the kitchen sink didn’t pile up like before. Severus wanted desperately to let Xavier know he was trying to build something here, his efforts to better his life had renewed.
Severus attended his therapy sessions now without much complaint and when he started to sink back to that dark, self-hating mindset, he held onto the small hope for the future he had now since Xavier was here. He also began to work seriously on his potions book and looked into employment options. Most doors were closed on him now that his record had been tainted with ‘ex-Deatheater’ but Dumbledore’s offer still stood.
Part of Xavier’s life had changed too. Since the incident with the Carrows and those Deatheaters in the alley, he had taken up muggle self-defence classes which Severus had scoffed at but eventually came to see its uses. Xavier was also preparing for work - he had a few months left before the start of his career at Rynsco Secondary Grammer as their science teacher. Merlin, how did Severus end up with a muggle-school teacher? It was strange and… wonderful.
Their lives were intersecting. Severus could feel something good growing from this.
On a lazy Sunday morning, Severus found himself entangled in his bedsheets and Xavier. Something warm had taken hold inside himself, it blazed brighter when he remembered who had their arms around his torso. Severus took the time to watch his lover as he slept. Xavier’s skin glowed in the morning sun, his brown hair looked like gold. Severus traced a soft finger up and down Xavier’s bare back, thinking. Xavier stirred, awaking and stretching out. He blinked and saw Severus looking down with a soft expression. How did he ever think this man intimidating - how could he think that when Severus only ever now looked at him with so much softness.
“Morning.” Severus said.
Xavier shifted around to lie atop him, wrapping his arms around Severus’s neck and kissing him slowly. Severus had never quite gotten used to being touched and loved so carefully and gently, even after months of being together, he still leaned into every touch, still cautiously and shyly kissed back. Severus relaxed under Xavier’s touch. It was so easy for him to be calmed or be comforted by hands that used to be new. Now they were familiar. They held each other like they had all the time in the world.
“We should get up.” Severus proposed, running a hand through Xavier’s hair.
“It's Sunday, Sev.”
“There are still things to do.”
Xavier smirked at him, touching Severus’s jaw lightly, “I can think of a few things we can do here.”
“Tell me about them.”
Xavier kissed him, straddling his waist.
Severus loved the way Xavier knew his body - his hands trailing Severus’s hips, his lips dipping below his jaw. Xavier’s fingers tracing his left forearm and the thin scar across Severus’s chest. Severus melted under his kisses, Xavier would smile against his lips. He knew what he was doing - of course he knew, he always did. Severus could go either way, but with Xavier, all he wanted was to be with him and to have his lover lead the dance.
“You and I–” Xavier began.
There came a loud hooting from the bedroom window. A large dark brown owl tapped on the glass.
“For Merlin’s sake.” Xavier said. He moved around Severus and made his way to the window, dressed only in his boxers (Severus thanked the owl for this view). Xavier opened the window and the bird promptly flew through and sat on the dresser, holding out its leg.
He untied the letter and came back to bed, the bird took a long look at Severus and then flew out the window.
“Its for you.” Xavier said, handing the letter over to his partner.
Severus took the letter. He wasn’t expecting mail from anyone. He thought of the few people who would send him any. Dumbledore… the ministry… That was about it. But the letter had neither Hogwarts or the Ministry of Magic’s seal. He looked at the address.
For S. Snape
16 Dunkel Avenue, Rynsco T., Britain
From R. Lupin and Sirius B.
203 Evermore Road, Ludwig V., Britain