Prologue
Harry was cold. He could no longer remember a time where he felt thoroughly warm, but he believed it to be half a year at least, maybe not since last summer. He did not feel completely warm now in June, even with three sweaters and two pair of trousers and three pair of socks on, not even in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room. The previous Christmas, his second Christmas at Hogwarts, Hermione had given him a set of jumper and trousers in thin wool that he could wear under his other clothes. She had sworn up and down that she was incapable of getting cold with something similar on. Not so for Harry, unfortunately. The garments helped, but not by much. Mrs. Weasley had gifted him not one, but two Weasley sweaters and three pairs of thick woollen socks the same Christmas. Ron must have told her how cold Harry was, all the time now. Like his chest was filled with ice, like his blood was made of ice water. Hermione had told the twins to drag Harry to the infirmary when Harry had refused to go himself. The twins had done so, gladly, as soon as they had touched Harry’s ice-cold hands, even as he sat by the roaring fire in the common room. Madam Pomphrey had kept him for hours, but hadn’t been able to find anything actually wrong with him. He had refused to go to the magical hospital she mentioned, and without authorization from his guardians, she couldn’t force him. No matter how much she wanted to. The Dursley’s would never pay to help him in any way.
Harry was cold now. All the time. So very cold.
But that didn’t bother him nearly as much as constant feeling of hunger. The first half year at Hogwarts had been the first time in his life where he could eat his fill every day, and he had done so, with enthusiasm. But as the months went by, he became incapable of eating his fill. He could eat more than he had ever done, and he was still hungry. He ate and ate at every meal, and he snacked on fruit and nuts and sandwiches that the elves made for him as soon as the twins told him where the kitchens were, when they noticed he was becoming skinnier by the week. Nothing helped. No matter how much Harry ate, he could never become full and no matter how much Harry ate, he kept losing weight.
Harry could not eat enough to feel full, not even for a moment. The hunger raged in his body and made him feel slow and fatigued, and even colder and when an hour went by without him eating anything it felt like his blood became crushed glass in his veins.
The summer between first and second year had been incredibly painful. Harry very much feared that the upcoming summer would be his last. He did not understand how he could live with that much pain, hunger and cold, and not simply die of it. Could a body die of pain alone? When the pain had no obvious cause? Harry didn’t know and he did very much not want to find out, but he knew he would. Soon. Because the train to London had just left Hogsmeade station and no matter how much food he had crammed into his trunk, with stasis spells thanks to Percy who was a master at them, he would run out before the summer was up. That was, if he even was allowed to keep his trunk with him. Uncle Vernon hadn’t let him last summer. But it was his only hope. The pain that came with his ravaging hunger; he feared that pain. More than he feared Uncle Vernon, more than he had feared the basilisk or Tom Riddle’s ghost. More than he feared all three combined. Because in that pain everything around him became red, red and disorienting and throbbing with scents so sharp he could taste them on his tongue and he didn’t know if he would ever feel normal again.
So, Harry feared that hunger very much. At the London platform Hermione hugged him hard in goodbye, ignoring his flinch as she always did. And Ron slapped his shoulder with a bracing smile while promising to send him owls with food and Hermione hurriedly promised the same. Harry knew they would not leave him alone with his hunger. They would not leave him alone in this fight. He had friends, the very best of friends. He was not alone.
But Harry still didn’t know if he would survive to see them again come September.