"What is this, Draco?" Harry's voice is like ice. A tone very rarely used to address his blonde counterpart. Surprise flickers through Draco's eyes as he startles slightly at the souns.
"What is what?" He replies simply. Draco had been laying in bed, ankles crossed, fully clothed above the covers and he had been flipping through the book in his hand.
"This," Harry replied as he handed his boyfriend a newspaper as he perches on the bed next to the blonde. A few feet of space still in between them. It was the daily prophet. And right there on the cover was Draco himself. Draco and Pansy Parkinson. And in big letters printed across the top.
MALFOY HEIR POPS THE BIG QUESTION.
The blood seems to seep from Draco's face. Sucked from his body as he just stares at the paper before looking up and meeting the burning eyes of the darker skinned boy.
"What is it, Draco?" Harry says again, his voice the same unyielding tone.
"It is an announcement of my proposal to Pansy," Draco replied, his voice smaller than either boy had ever heard it.
The words hang in the air and both of them stare back at the other.
When Harry doesn't speak, Draco continues. "It was an arranged marriage, one set up by our parents when we were new born. It has always been expected that we marry one day."
Harry can see in Draco's eyes that Draco wants Harry to understand.
"So you're marrying her." Harry said simply, but only a fool would mistake it for a calm answer. He was angry. He was more mad than Draco had ever seen him, more mad than Harry had ever remembered being.
"I have to, Harry. Her nor I have much of a choice. The inheritance of our families relies solely on this marriage. Without it, we'll never be able to access our family funds or wealth or anything." Draco says.
"So you're just," Harry pauses. Licks his lips. "Marrying her?"
Draco glances down. "You just- You don't understand, Harry." Dracos voice was weak, he sounded defeated, but his words seemed to course fire straight through Harry's veins.
"No, Draco, I do understand, I understand it all," He breathed, the rage he felt so completely, seeped into his voice. Making it sound like steel, cold and unmoving. "I understand it perfectly. I understand your stupid pureblood nonsense. I understand that this marriage was set in stone before you could even stand on your own two feet. I understand that it is the determination of you inheriting the Malfoy wealth. But i also understand that with that, you have decided the exact way that my life is going to play put from here. You and Pansy."
"Harry, that's not-"
"It is, Draco, it is what you've done," Hardy cuts in before the blonde could even finish his thought, the anger is too fresh, too rapid. Like a forest fire that no one had any hope of controlling.
It was going to burn down everything in its path.
Harry was vaguely aware of Draco reaching out for him, for his hand, for stability, for comfort. And Harry was vaguely aware of wrenching his hand away from Draco's of standing from the bed, his back towards the man he thought he'd spend the rest of his life with.
"I just-" he tried to find the words, but the mess in his head jumbled them at his lips. Paused. Breathed. Tried again. "You're marrying her, Draco." He settled on. He hoped it conveyed everything he was feeling. The betrayal that that alone held.
"I have to, Harry" the blonde responded. Speaking like a man trying his best not to startle a wild animal into an attack. "it's not a choice. And it doesn't have to mean that we have to stop. We can still be together, it's just a piece of paper"
Harry scoffed at that. That is what this was at it's core isn't it. This was the problem. 'We can still be together'. The words repeated in his head, leaked down his spine before settling in his stomach and twisting so hard it made Harry feel as though he'd be sick right there on the floor of the bedroom. Their bedroom.
"Oh yeah, and pray tell me how exactly we'll be together when you are quite literally *married* to another" Harry said finally, after long moments of silence. The sound of the bed sheets rustling registered in his head as his boyfriend rising to his feet.
The heat of his body radiating into Harry's back. Not quite touching him, just standing close.
"The marriage would be nothing but business. You and I, we could still live together! We could live here for the rest of our lives, we could grow old together. You've always wanted a family, so maybe we adopt a baby or two, watch them grow up together. Teach them how to walk and how to talk, tell them all the stories from when we were in school. The trouble we raised." Draco spoke, standing so close that Harry could feel his breath sweep across his neck. "We could be happy. And the inheritance, it could support us through it all."
And there it is. The inheritance.The bloody goddamn inheritance.
Harry pulled away like he'd been slapped, whipping his body around to meet Draco's. The boys gray eyes almost seemed to shine slightly, like the image of the future he has built in his head is this beautiful, shining thing.
And it is, in part. It is all Harry has ever wanted. A home, a family... Draco. And yet it was still so, so wrong.
Harry feels a laugh bubble up within him, a laugh so full of bitterness and spite. "You really believe that's how that would go? Are you bloody delusional, Draco?"
The blondes face seemed to crumble at that, any shine in his eyes put out on spot. Normally, seeing such an expression on the others face would have had Harry reaching out and pulling him close to himself. Wrapping him in his arms, protecting him from whatever was making him feel this way, but right now, he was the one making him feels that way.
"Harry-" He said softly.
"No, do you even hear yourself right now!" Harry's throws his hands in the air in exasperation. "That's not what future we'd be heading towards, and we both know it. At least I do."
Harry paused for a moment. "You know what this future would look like? It would look like you and Pansy in a big white wedding on the front page of the daily prophet. It would look like me in this house cooped up. It would look like me always being the side piece, the lover to be hidden away, the mistress.
"And kids?! Are you an idiot? Draco, if you marry Pansy, any children we may have together would be bastards" maybe it's terrible, but the blondes small flinch at the word sent a spark of satisfaction down Harry's spine. But quickly followed is the almost overwhelming need to stop. To shut up. To stop talking, and pull the boy into his arms and apologize for being so harsh. But he can't. Draco needs to see.
"It's true. They quite literally would be! Because you'd be married to someone else and they'd be the hidden children. The children who wouldn't understand why they couldn't hug one of their fathers in public. The children who could never admit who their other father was, could never breathe a word of you to anyone else. The children who would wonder why daddy is in the newspaper with a woman and kids that they've never met before! That is what that family would look like!" Harry is shouting now, the rage and anger destroying everything in its wake.
"And please Malfoy, tell me what happens when the traditions and expectations of all of your pureblood nonsense calls for an heir, huh!? What then?! Call it 'strictly business' while you fuck Pansy Goddamn Parkinson?"
"Harry, please," its then that Harry realizes Draco Malfoy is crying. Tears running down his face. It takes another second before Harry realizes he's crying too. "Please, Harry" Malfoy repeats again.
"What do you want me to say?" Harry said finally. After a moment. The words hang in the air, suspended in time as Draco says nothing in response.
And it's like a flip switches in Harry. All of his anger, all of his rage, his fire is put out. Like he had been doused in water or deprived of Oxygen.
His whole body deflates like a balloon releasing its air and he sits on the edge of their bed his head bent as he breathes. Draco remains standing in front of him, saying nothing. He looks shell shocked, tears silently running down his face. He says nothing, even as Harry lifts his head to stare at him. He says nothing, his gray eyes remain trained on the wall that had once been behind Harry.
Harry is the one to break the silence. "Were you ever going to tell me?" He said finally.
His voice void of all of the emotion it had just held. Then he laughed his humorless laugh again. The empty laugh. "Well, I guess I already know the answer to that question, don't I? No, you weren't, because if you were then I wouldn't have seen it first on the front page of the prophet. I guess a better question is, did you ever think about telling me? Did I ever even cross your mind when you agreed to it?"
The blonde remain silent for a moment. Stuck in the same frozen state. Slowly, his eyes moved though, moved from the random spot on the wall to meet Harry's green ones.
"I did. I thought about it a thousand times, a thousand different ways I was going to bring it up to you. But I kept second guessing, kept post poning. I didn't know the story was going to run today. If I had, I would have told you first." He said. And as green met gray. Harry found that he believed his counterpart. That Draco had truly wanted to tell him, would have told him first.
And yet, it doesn't seem to matter at all. It doesn't change anything to know that Draco would have told Harry that he had officially agreed to marry Pansy Parkison. It doesn't change the fact that Draco proposed in the first place before he spoke to Harry about it.
"Okay," was all Harry said. Taking a moment for things to settle before asking his next question. "What about Luna? Did Pansy ever talk to her."
Something flashes in Draco's eyes. It was too fast to place before it was swept away with his words, "No. Pansy never told her either."
Harry scoffs again at that. So Harry and Luna were both left in the dark, were sat down and told to stay while their partners got engaged and went on to plan their lives. Not just Draco and Pansys, but the lives of Harry and Luna's as well.
Misery loves company though, and Harry makes a mental note to write to Luna Lovegood as soon as possible.
"Okay," he states to start. Part of him wants to leave it at that, but the louder part of himwants to continue.
To make Draco understand all the ways in which that is so entirely fucked up. Everything that Draco (and Pansy) have done since the moment they decided to go through with the marriage, but to keep their lovers, and to keep their lovers in the dark.
The louder part won. "So you and Pansy took it upon yourselves to decide what Luna and I are to be. We just... go along with your marriage, stay a secret, lovers only in the dark and the shadows? Never to be seen by the real world as anything to do with the two of you?"
Draco's face crumbled at that. Almost as though the realization of where this conversation was leading finally set in. Like he finally put two and two together and realized that this conversation was leading to the end.
"Please, Harry" oh how many times the brunette had heard those two words tonight. "I love you. I love you with everything I am. Every cell of my being is yours, I am yours, please Harry, let's just talk. We can figure something out." Cold fingers wrapped themselves over Harrys where Harry's laid in his lap. Draco was bent over Harry, only inches between their faces as Harry looked up into the eyes of the man he loved.
His movements sluggish, Harry raised one hand from the embrace of Draco's, placed it on Draco's cheek. The blonde leaned into it, seeking the warmth that seemed to permanently radiate off of the tan boy.
"And I love you. I love you with all that I am. But I can love you, and not want this." He says, "I have a right to make the decision for myself. You made yours the day you and Pansy got engaged. You created a future in your mind of where that would lead us, but that wasn't our future. It was yours. Because I will have no part in it. You made your choice, now this is mine."
And with that he pulled his hand from the other boys face, he stood ignoring the pain and discomfort that shoots through him at the motion, and he walks towards the door. Before his hand can feel the coolness of the door handle, a hand grips his wrist, pulls him to look back.
"Don't do this, please, Harry, don't do this." Tears were rushing freely, creating rivers down porcelain skin.
"I've had enough choices taken from me in my life. I'll be damned if i have to live in the shadows again, this is my choice now. And I choose to leave." And with that he turns, this time he does reach the cool metal of the doorknob, but he's too numb to register the sensation as he pulls open the door and walks out.