People Watching
“I don't see why people like you, you know.” Narcissa hummed as she switched off the tele, “I don't see why you’re worth all of this drama.”
Sirius snapped his head to face her but she wouldn’t look at him. Not yet. Not when she wanted to scream and threaten the hair off his head. Regulus was an extension of her, if Alice was her soulmate and better half then Reg was her twin flame, a piece of her soul that she’d protect until the day she no longer existed.
“I think you’re not worth our kindness. Not mine nor my sisters and certainly not your brother’s. I think you're the spitting image of Walburga,” Her voice rose with each sentence, drowning out whatever response Sirius could have argued, “ I think you selfish and brash and so utterly stupid! You don’t deserve anything as good as my sisters and brother.”
Narcissa had stood to pace the expanse of the room, her blonde hair swivelling at her waist. She knew the boys were watching her intently as she prowled and screamed at her cousin.
She couldn’t bring herself to care for decorum at such a time. God how her mother must be rolling in her damned grave.
From the corner of her eye she could see her sister snacking on popcorn, slightly amused as she looked on.
Finally coming to a stop in front of the fuming man she scrutinised him. He looked the same as he did so many years ago, perhaps a smidge taller and more filled out in form though his hands were just as delicate. He was an artist, Regulus had whispered to her brokenly one night. He told her of the many paintings Sirius sold, of his galleries and his life.
“I think you dont fucking deserve his forgiveness or his love yet he loves you. And that Sirius Black, is something to be cherished. He only stayed in that house because of you, did you know?” She bent slightly, her face close enough to his to see the shifting emotions from contempt to disbelief. She continued on watching him closely.
“He had planned for such a long time to get us all out. He talked to Andy and Alphard. He freed me from what would have been an abusive marriage when the time came. He freed Bella by giving her a choice to come with us because while she left the house their claws were still sank into her. He was waiting until you were legal so that wretched bitch wouldn’t have come after you. But you left and left him and everything that reminded you of him.”
Narcissa watched as he suddenly turned furious, taking a step back before he could knock her over. Suddenly he was the one pacing and spitting mad, “I LEFT HIM? Where was he when she fucking tried to kill me? Where was he when I had to crawl my way out? Oh! You know where he was Narcissa? He was in his fucking room doing shit to help me! Actually fuck that, did you know he told her about Remus and I? Did your perfect boy tell you that? Of course he wouldn’t!”
A slightly maddened laugh stopped him in his tracks. Even Narcissa held her breath as her elder sister laughed and laughed and laughed. The thing about Andromeda Black was that she was the nicest, sweetest person you could ever meet until she wasn’t.
She was protective, overly so seeing the house they grew up in. She took the hits with a sharp smile while Bellatrix always got her retribution. Cissa herself was a piece of clay, she was moldable until she wasn’t. So when Andy finally loses it, she loses it with the utmost anger and resentment within her.
“And you believed Wallburga Black? You believed that fucking psychopath? Did Regulus ever stay quiet when you took the hits Sirius?”
When he didn’t answer, Cissa had to physically restrain Andy lest she jump the boy before they got answers. “You should answer before I let her loose. I would rather not have to explain to Reg why you suddenly turned up dead after our visit.”
“Well?”
“He didn’t.” Sirius muttered as if he was in the process of working out a terrible equation.
“Did you ever think to yourself days after your shock wore off that she might’ve lied?” Andy questioned again, her patience thinning more than it already was.
“N-no, b-but she knew things, Andy. She knew things about Remus and I. Things I only told Reg.”
“She paid people to practically stalk the two of you lest you ruin her reputation even further. After you left Wally hired more and Reg noticed. Some were fucking students.” Cissa snarled in disgust at the situation.
“o-oh.”
And suddenly he collapsed on the sofa where the other boys sat, looking almost frozen and unsure of themselves.
Narcissa was the one to break the silence as Andy focused on her breathing. She was always the most empathetic one, feeling things for those close to her. Narcissa of course was the opposite but Alice, bless her heart, helped her with that. Clearing her throat she just had to ask, to make sure before she did something stupid, “Are you sure you didn’t know?”
Bloodshot, teary eyes met hers as the boy nodded and with a look to Andy they agreed. Standing up and dusting off her dress she marched over to Sirius and took his chin in her hand making him flinch, something she steadily ignored just like she ignored the other boys who tensed at her proximity, “Listen to me well Sirius Black as I will not repeat myself again. Do you want to be a part of this family again?”
“W-what?!”
“Do. you. want. to. be. apart. of. this. family? A simple yes or no would suffice.” she huffed out steadily getting annoyed, “It includes my sisters and I, Reg, our spouses, Pandora and Evan Rosier, Dorcas Meadows and Barty Crouch Jr.”
“Don't forget Xeno, I heard he passed the Black’s test.” Andy chimed in, once again stuffing her mouth with popcorn.
“Did he, now? Well then good for him!”
“I- can I think about it?” Sirius winced but looked at her with pleading eyes making her sigh for the millionth time since she’d been there.
“Fine, but wait too long and we WILL be gone, Understood?” the boy nodded his head. “Good.”
Just as Narcissa got up, Sirius blurted out “Do you think he’d forgive me?”
Andy and her shared a grimace. Regulus was stubborn as they came. Yet that didn’t mean it was impossible. The younger boy’s heart was too big not to forgive him even if in Narcissa’s opinion, he didn’t deserve it.
“He might.”
“I have his number..” James Potter suddenly blurted out, making them all turn to face him. Narcissa felt herself freeze for just a moment until the words finally caught up to her.
“I beg your finest fucking pardon?!”
“When?!”
“Er…he gave it to me when we went to this cafe last night and I kind of explained why we-I left?” the Potter boy held up a piece of paper which Narcissa snatched out of his hand and lightly skimmed before shoving it back into his hand. “Is he fucking insane? Fuck. No he is, that utter twat.”
“Erm…”
Narcissa turned to face James as her eyes scanned him from head to toe, “Bellatrix adores Regulus and has little morals. I am rich enough to overthrow Russia and have it never make the news. His friends are psychotic and every boyfriend who’s ever hurt him ended up bankrupt or utterly ruined. If he so much as shed a tear about you again we will erase you from existence. You hurt him as much as Sirius did. Fucking fix that.”
And with that she walked up next to her sister who finished neatening up the sofa and took her hand to leave.
“If he knows even a little of what happened then he’d forgive you but he won’t trust you.” The sisters left after that.
—
“Is there something I can help you with?”
Regulus was alone in the studio that day playing with different vocals for a song Pandora had picked out of his little black book that morning. But of course one day in his life couldn’t possibly go as planned as the heavens hated him enough to send his ex boyfriend to disturb his peace.
On the bright side, at least it wasn’t his brother who Narcissa had the most to complain about a few days prior. What possessed the woman to subject herself to that would forever baffle him. Yet he couldn’t help but feel warmed by how much she cared.
“Not really, I just saw you and wanted to say hi.” James smiled from the door. He wore grey joggers that day and a very fitted long sleeved shirt, not that Regulus noticed that much. When Regulus didn’t say anything in return James took that as meaning he could disturb him even more by coming to stand just behind him.
“What’s it about?” James asked so close to his ear he could feel the man’s breath caress his skin. He was peering over his shoulder then, gaining a glimpse out of the book before Regulus snapped it shut.
“None of your business.”
The man huffed a short laugh and threw himself into the chair beside Regulus who scowled. He really wasn’t going to get work done, “Why are you here?”
“We came with Remus but then I saw you and well I couldn't help myself.” James smiled sheepishly, running a hand through his hair and tugging slightly. Unconsciously Regulus lightly smacked his hand away but pulled back just as quickly as it happened.
It was a habit he used to do when they were younger. The older boy used to tug on his hair hard enough to get migraines afterwards and Regulus’ solution was to smack his hand away and hold it in his.
“You will give yourself a bloody headache later.” Reg mumbled, not once looking at James who he could feel was just beaming at him. He knew himself enough to know that even if he caught a glimpse of the James he knew so well and had loved so hard he would collapse.
His heart hurt again and for the millionth time he wondered if Dora was psychic as he opened the book in his hands back to the pages she chose.
“If I asked you to play it for me would you?” James murmured to him.
If only he knew the things Regulus would have done for him if he’d only asked.
And this was why his friends had the right to worry about him. This was why Cissa lectured him on giving James his number for hours on end. He was utterly pathetic when it came to the older man. They’ve seen his downward spirals before and after he left.
Dora had said his love was all consuming. Regulus still didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.
“No.”
“And if I begged?”
Regulus snapped his head to face James who had a shit eating grin on his face. “You’re not as funny as you think you are Potter.”
“So I'm back to Potter.”
“Fuck off.”
The man had the audacity to laugh as if he was the funniest thing in the world making Regulus scowl.
“Please, Reg. I’ll give you anything.” And suddenly his thoughts went to being bent over the couch just at the corner of the room as James murmured ever so sweetly into his ear. God how he hated himself for that.
“Why do you want to hear it so bad?” Reg asked instead.
“It's beautiful, your voice, the way you write, everything. You seem so free when you sing that I just wanted to see that again.” And oh how James Potter meant what he said. Regulus could see the sincerity in his eyes, the nervous grin as if he truly expected Reg to kick him out. The man was always so sure of himself yet here he was nervous that he would turn him away.
Getting up, Reg groaned and went over to the keyboard in the recording room, beckoning James to follow him.
“Fine but be warned that this was after you.” and with that he began to sing as his fingers glided across the keyboard.
“That wasn't funny but she laughed so hard, she almost cried
They're counting months they've been together, almost 49
He's making fun of how she acted 'round the holidays
She wears a ring, but they tell people that they're not engaged”
He could feel James’ eyes on him as he got lost in the memories, closing his eyes and singing a song about some strangers Pandora had pointed out to him all those many years ago in Barty’s truck just outside Abe’s bar.
“They met in class for metaphysical philosophy
He tells his friends, "I like her 'cause she's so much smarter than me"
They're having talks about their futures until 4 a.m
And I'm happy for them (and I'm happy for them)”
Dora was so excited to tell him about this couple, she had said it gave her hope about this world. That someday they’d find a home in someone with a love that’s precious and all consuming.
“But I wanna feel all that love and emotion
Be that attached to the person I'm holding
Someday, I'll be falling without caution
But for now, I'm only people watching”
Reg had felt it then as he watched the two, in their own world and happy. That ache of missing something deep within his soul. His emptiness had seemed to bleed onto his face making Dora pull him into a hug, smothering him into feeling her love. Barty came out of the bar with Evan soon after and joined in with their people watching.
“I'm only looking just to live through you vicariously
I've never really been in love, not seriously
I had a dream about a house behind a picket fence
Next one I choose to trust, I hope I use some common sense”
They watched the couple in their bliss and unaware of them being observed by the quartet. Dora had told their whole story by then as if it was common knowledge. It was then that Regulus dared to dream about a perfect life. Something he hadn’t done since James left.
“Cut people out, like tags on my clothing
I end up all alone, but I still keep hoping
I won't be scared to let someone know me
Life feels so monotone, but I still keep hoping”
But who was he for faulting James when he was the problem? He had broken up with the older boy and hoped so desperately that he’d wait for him. What a fool Regulus Black was for hoping yet he couldn’t truly give up. And as he dared to dream, he wrote and wrote and wrote because one day something good would happen to him.
And it did.
"I wanna feel all that love and emotion
Be that attached to the person I'm holding
Someday, I'll be falling without caution
But for now,
I'm only
people watching”