Sunflower

(Sep. 1991)

Dear Diary,

It's my first day of school! Real school, as mum says. Not just Auntie Molly and my cousins but with other students and classrooms, and Professors. Dad says I need to be careful around the headmaster but I'm not quite sure I understand why he said that diary... But I think it's just because the headmaster is very strict with Slytherins. I'm so excited to get sorted into Slytherin like mum and dad and grandpa! I'm just so excited! Mum gave me some galleons last night telling me to enjoy something off the train's trolley. I could hardly sleep! Well, mums calling me down for breakfast. I'll be sure to update you on the train!

***

Diary, someone bought the entire trolley apparently. Some of the muggleborn first years were worried they would get nothing because of it, but when they saw the trolley replenish itself they cheered like it was the best thing they'd ever seen. It was so funny. I've made friends with a girl I'm sitting with. Her name is Elizabeth but she told me to call her Lily. She didn't press me to talk about my parents when I told her my name. I hope we're sorted into the same house. I saw Auntie Molly before we got on the train, she was sending off Percy, the twins, and Ron. But there was another kid with them. I didn't recognize him. I'll have to ask Ron about it later. Oh some boy lost his toad on the train, can you believe that? I asked mum and dad about getting a pet and they said when I turn 16 they'd talk about it. I can wait. I'll update you once again before bed Diary.

***

Diary, I've been sorted into Hufflepuff house. I don't understand. Everyone except for Great grandma Anita was in Slytherin. I have to write owls to grandpa, mum and dad. I hope they aren't too disappointed. I'm roommates with Lily though! So that's nice, she also got sorted into Hufflepuff. I haven't met my other roommates yet, they've gone to sleep already. I know I'll just have to make the best of this. Who knows, I may actually like being a Hufflepuff. The castle is more amazing than I thought it would be. There are moving stairs and ghosts roaming the halls at all hours. There's portraits all over the walls, I've never seen so many enchanted portraits. I wonder how long it would take to speak to every one of them... I might have to try. We crossed the black lake in boats. Oh! Diary! I found out who the boy was that bought out the trolley! His name is Harry Potter. I've heard his last name before, I think from dad... I'll have to ask him about it in my letter diary. Anyway! The point is he and Draco Malfoy, we know the Malfoys, don't care for each other apparently. I wasn't really paying attention as to why but Ron seems to be quite chummy with Harry. The food was good but I miss mum's cooking. That's all for today, Diary. Good night.

~~~

September 1991.

Even though Mags told me I was going to this stupid school, I didn't believe it. My stupid cousin is here too of course. NoThInG ToO gOoD fOr a MaLfOy. Moron. I don't want to be here. I don't understand why that idiot decided to send me here. He's never even come to see me but he can boss me around?! It's bullshit. Mags told me to write whenever I get mad so I don't get in fights but I don't think its helping. I need to hit something. ~M

ps. I made a friend. We beat each other up. His name is Theo.

~~~

(Oct. 1991)

Dear Diary,

I met my other roommates. Their names are Hannah and Susan. and I met the most fascinating girl in the library the other day as well. Her name is Luna Lovegood. She has the prettiest hair I've ever seen. It's like a pale blonde. It's much prettier than my brown hair in my opinion. It's actually very similar to Draco Malfoys hair. 

Anyway, she was researching fairies and where to find them. We started talking about fairies and she asked if I wanted to help her search. I've agreed and this weekend we're going to roam the grounds looking for them. 

Quidditch started and they've got their first match coming up soon. It should be fun. I'm not much for the sport but I'll cheer all the same. Harry Potter was named the Gryffindor seeker. Oh! Speaking of! Dad replied to my letter telling me about him. He said he knew both of Harry's parents when they attended Hogwarts. They weren't close but they were on good terms. He also explained that he had worked hard in the weeks leading up to my first birthday to ensure James and Lily's son (Harry) was taken care of by his godfather. Mom said she had never been more proud of him for all his hard work. I'll definitely be looking through their files when I get home. 

Oh! I can't forget, at the end of the month is the Halloween Festival, everyone is looking forward to it. The Professors told us the first and second years get to have pumpkin carving and scary stories with the grounds keeper, Hagrid I can't wait! ~Oli

~~~

(1991)

Someone let a troll into the castle. I really wanted to see it, but the Professors wouldn't let us. I could have taken it. ~M

~~~

(June, 1992)

I now understand what dad meant when he said to be careful of the headmaster. Dumbledore gave the house cup to Gryffindor for putting themselves in danger (acts of bravery. bah). It's quite irritating. Anyway I made it to the last day before summer! Mum said in her letter that i would be spending half of it with her and dad and the rest with my cousins. I'm excited about that. Uncle Arthur always has the most brilliant muggle toys to study. I've put off packing till tonight so i probably need to get that taken care of. I'm excited to see my parents.  ~Oli

~~~

(1992)

We're free for two months and then we have to come back. I got told I'll be staying with the Malfoys from now on. Hurray. Summer. ~M

~~~

(Sep. 1992)

Dear Diary,

Summer was absolutely amazing. Dad had to leave for an assignment almost immediately and mum got called back to the ministry shortly after, so for three weeks I got to hang out with the Smiths. They're a lovely muggle family that live in the home next door. They have two children around my age. Robert is a year older than me, and Annie is the same age. They couldn't believe that I attend a boarding school.

 I did managed to sneak sometime in mum and dads office and I found the file dad has with the Potter name on it. There's a lot of information blacked out but what I was able to piece together is that Dad fought really hard to make sure a man named Sirius Black did not go away to Azkaban. His file said James and Lily Potter were found by Mister Black in their home after being killed by he who must not be named. Dad didn't stop fighting the ministry for three whole days. The file says he argued until he lost his voice and then used magic to keep going. In the end Dad won and the ministry proved Mister Black was innocent. Dad even helped Mister Black get custody of Harry when everything settled. The person who was most against it was headmaster Dumbledore. I think that's actually why Dad doesn't like him. I'll be sure to keep my guard up more.

Auntie Molly and Ginny came to get me at the end of July. Its Ginny's first year attending Hogwarts and its so exciting that she'll be there. We've had so much fun exploring, and the twins invented a new firework we got to watch. I'm not sure but I don't think it worked right. Or if it did they intended to have it chase Percy. Actually that may have been the case...

***

Ginny has introduced me to the most fascinating girl. Her name is Hermione Granger. She comes from a muggle family, but she's quite powerful and knowledgeable about the Wizarding world. I met her when I arrived at the Burrow. Ginny insisted we would become fast friends and she was definitely right. Hermione knows all sorts of books from the muggle world. She even showed me what she had brought with her. I hope we become good friends. 

***

I've officially met both of Ron's friends. In my opinion, they could do better. Hermione hangs out with him for Merlin only knows... and then I met Harry Potter. He's a bit arrogant. Kind of mean, though no worse then Ron. This should be an interesting year... ~Oli

~~~

(September 1992)

I'm so glad to be going back. I swear I was gonna kill Malfoy all summer long. If it weren't for Aunt Cissy inviting Theo over with his father I might have. ~M

~~~

(Oct. 1992)

Dear Diary,

I had a strange dream last night. I can't exactly recall it. I know there was a girl, I thought it was me at first but it wasn't. I think we were at Hogwarts. There was an older man with her, a Professor maybe?

Well anyway, I met my new best friend today. We have DADA together. That's Defense Against the Dark Arts. She is so funny, she kept making these hilarious jokes about the Professor. We were given detention but I don't care. It turns out she and I have several classes together this year. Her name is Pansy Parkinson. She's in Slytherin house, but doesn't mind that I'm a Hufflepuff. Ron doesn't think I should hang out with her, but Hermione told him to shut up. I like her a lot. She's super cool. I think she and Pansy would get along really well. ~Oli

~~~

(Sep, 1993)

Dear Diary,

Today I met the boy I want to marry someday. We're seatmates in HoM! The moment I saw him I knew that I was in trouble... My heart skipped, my stomach flipped, my mind was racing and I felt like I couldn't breathe~ I swear diary! I couldn't stop glancing at him. It was like everything else in the world just disappeared. His name is Mattheo Riddle. I've seen his name in mum's files so over the holiday I'll do some research. He has the most gorgeous brown eyes I've ever seen. I'm going to try and speak to him every time we have class together. ~Oli

~~~

(Sep. 1993)

I swear I met an angel. She sits by me in HoM. Such a boring class. But every class she smiles and greets me. Merlin, her smile is something else and her eyes are this beautiful green. I wanna talk to her, but every time I open my mouth to say something during her greetings the only thing that comes out is Hi. There's got to be something wrong with me. ~M

***

I got to share her textbook because I forgot mine. She smiled at me again but it was different this time. Warmer, softer even. I thought my heart was gonna stop when she moved closer to me. She smells like cinnamon and vanilla. I got a better look at her eyes. They're like gems, a lighter  almost yellow green closer to the pupil and this brilliant dark green at the edges. I've never seen eyes like hers. I just wanna stare at her. Maybe I'll keep forgetting my book so I can keep sharing hers. ~M

***

She fell asleep on me today. I didn't know what to do. I almost pushed her off me before i realized it was her. She looks so peaceful sleeping. I spent the entire class just staring at her. She has three beauty marks on her face that i could see. I want draw her. I think I have to draw her. ~M

~~~

(Dec, 1993)

Dear Diary,

I can't believe its nearly Christmas. I love winter so much. Mattheo got me a new book for my birthday and I'm nearly done with it. It's so good, not my normal read but that makes it better in my opinion . I'll be spending the break with grandpa this year. Mattheo said he's staying in the castle with some of the other students. If I had known I would have asked grandpa to let him come with me. Next year. Oh maybe he can come with me to grandpas hamlet for the summer festival! I'll have to ask Mattheo and grandpa. I have a present for Mattheo I need to give to him still. I better do that before I forget! ~Oli

~~~

(1993)

She got me a new sketch book and pencils. Yeah. I'm gonna marry her one day. Shit now I have to get her something when she comes back. ~M

~~~

(sep, 1994)

The headmaster has announced Hogwarts is hosting the TriWizard Tournament this year. Its exciting, there will be a ball, and limited classes. There's a prize money that comes with winning. Two other schools are being housed for the year while the tournament goes on.  Dumbledore's said the names of the contenders will be pulled soon.

***

Cedric Diggory has been called! he's sure to win. Cedric is so amazing. He makes me proud to be a Hufflepuff. ~Oli

~~~

(1994)

She likes Diggory. I'm trying not to freak out. ~M

***

I freaked out. I sent his name to my father. Told him that's who to investigate. I feel a bit bad... Diggory's got to deal with the Triwizard tournament. Oh well nothing will come of it just like the others I've sent. ~M

(1994)

I think I killed Diggory... ~M

~~~

(1995)

I received an owl today from Mags, but it was actually from my father.

He explained why I was sent here 5 years ago. He told me during his time at Hogwarts he discovered two significant sources of empowering himself. Horcruxes which would allow him to split his soul so he could never really die- horrifying. And an ancient magic that more than a century ago saved Hogwarts and the Wizarding world. He told me in his letter that he believes the power to be inherited and if his suspicions are correct the next person to inherit that magic should be someone in my grade. I have to keep my eyes open and report back to him. Or else. Fucking asshole. The last reported power source for this ancient magic was an Auror named Anita Gray. She disappeared after 15 years with the ministry. If he wasn't such a bore I'd ask Professor B, about her. Instead I'll just search through the library with Olivia. Her family has some connections with the ministry she may know something. ~M

~~~

(1996)

Its her. Its Olivia.

I shouldn't have done it, it was a stupid fucking prank. I just wanted to see her laugh after Snape had been such a dick all class long. Instead we ended up in fucking detention walking through muck and swamp waters in fucking April. It was freezing. I had to give Olivia my robes at one point because I was worried she would be too cold. Then we fucking caught the eye of a fucking Dugbog. I've never seen Olivia cast magic like she did. Her magic is weak, I hate to say it but she knows it. This was not weak. She sent lightening, blue fucking lightening- just like described in the history book I found in the restricted area described Anita's magic, at the creature and it exploded into a mist. Fucking MIST! She's the person I'm supposed to hand over to my father and I'll be damned if I do such a thing. Fuck him. She's my Olivia. Mine. She told me about her magic, me about her dreams, about the crazy visions she gets from Anita's past. She told me, no one else.  Just me. We've promised to keep this between us.

I'm not giving her to him. ~M

~~~

(April, 1996)

Diary,

Mattheo knows now. He was so kind and sweet about comforting me. He just hugged me and let me cry until I felt better. Then I told him everything. I haven't even told grandfather about the vision but I know I can trust Mattheo. He promised to keep it a secret with me. I shouldn't have been worried, I should have told him right away. I'm going to start telling him about my dreams whenever they happen. I love him. ~Oli

~~~

(June, 1996)

Diary,

He's with another girl, so I've taken to distancing myself again. At least I've tried. After their first week of dating his new girlfriend pulled me aside after Charms and told me to stop hanging off her boyfriend and how weird I am for having him follow me around even though we're just friends.

I tried to explain to her that I was trying to give him space. She brought up the fact he still saves me a seat.  So I agreed to stop sitting at the Slytherin table. Then she brought up how he always sits with me instead of her in all of the classes we have together. So I told her I would make an effort to sit anywhere else. I haven't been successful on that front. Mattheo keeps glaring at whomever I sit with until they move and then he takes their spots. At least during meals I can sit at the Hufflepuff table, usually Pansy, Ginny and Lily sit with me, sometimes Luna joins us. She's always followed by Blaise, who in turn is followed by Enzo and Theo. I'm very grateful for them. They make it a bit easier to distract myself. I thought by now it would get easier to see him with other girls, but it's ok. We won't be hanging out as much again, but that's ok. This is what he wants and he deserves to be happy. Pansy has been hanging out in my commons more lately since I don't wanna risk running into them. Mione is really great about bringing me books... They're such great friends Diary I really don't know what I would do without them. Ginny's here now, she said we would have a sleepover in the commons just us like old times at the burrow. I know she's doing it so I'm not alone tonight. I appreciate it. I just hope I don't wake her up again with these bloody nightmares. They've gotten strange and I can't even talk to him about them. But that's ok. I can record them here after all, just like before he found out. I'll just tell you the jist of it though, I don't think I can bring myself to relive some of these memories I'm being shown. Last night, I had to endure Anita and Sebastian's wedding. It was lovely. Truly, the ceremony and even the flashes from the reception weren't bad. They were at the hamlet, all their friends were there it seemed. I saw the man grandpa is named after, Ominis Sweeting and his wife Poppy. Anita spoke with them for a while during the beginning of the dream, congratulating them on another child I believe. I also got to see both Anita and Sebastian speaking with Garreth Weasley and a woman they seemed to know from their time at Hogwarts. They both seemed surprised to hear the two had reconnected during his last assignment somewhere in South America. That was when the dream suddenly jumped... And I was forced to witness their first night. I'm sure Matty would die laughing if I told him.

I miss him.  ~Oli

~~~

(1996)

Megan and I broke up today. She kept going on about how I was too close with Olivia. She figured out my feelings for Olivia... Told me "Who's more important to you, me or her?" and of course I didn't hesitate to tell her it was Olivia. Always Olivia.

Megan slapped me for that one. I deserved it. I can't keep hurting random girls like this. Its fucked up. Megan told me that too. She said, "If you can't have Olivia to at least don't fuck with other peoples emotions." She's right. I'm so fucked up. I hate myself... I want Olivia with every last fiber of my being. Her beautiful, delicate features and her gentle smile just melts my heart. I fucking love her... I can't stop looking at her whenever she's around. I feel alive, like a jolt of electricity is running through my whole body. I've never felt like this before. She's so warm and giving, I can't help but want her all to myself. I'm so selfish when it comes to her. I've threatened guys that have just looked at her. I've filled I don't even know how many books with sketches of her. Her face, her eyes, the way her hair curls. I've lost count of how many times I've mapped out her beauty marks. I can't even talk about her legs. She would probably never want to speak to me ever again. I can talk to her for hours, and I still be amazed at how funny and interesting she is. I never want moments with her to end. I can't even describe it... it's like she's what I've been missing. Everything feels different when I have Olivia with me. I'm such a selfish piece of shit sometimes... ~M

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As their laughter died down and the quiet of the commons returned, the reality of what they had nearly done washed over them, causing their smiles and grins to fade into pensive stares. They both bore red cheeks in the flickering lights of the candles and fireplace. Mattheo stayed frozen in his position above her, he wasn’t sure whether to move forward with his plan to kiss her or not.

“Teo…?” Olivia’s voice was barely above a whisper as she broke the silence. Her eyes focused on his lips.

“Yea Oli…?” He matched her volume.

Olivia took a shaky breath before she could speak. “We should go to bed right?”

The color drained from Mattheos face, his hands clenched the back of the couch until his knuckles were white. Of course they should just go to bed. Mattheo slowly nodded, his eyes were the only part of his face to show his disappointment. “Right. Bed.”

As he started to lean away, Olivia’s arms shot up to wrap around his neck pulling him down into a kiss. Her eyes gently closed while his eyes widened in shock as he realized she had made the first move. Mattheo smiled against her lips before he returned her kiss, letting his eyes close. Her lips were exactly as soft as he thought they would be.

Olivia let out a low moan as she reluctantly pulled away. Mattheo laid his forehead against hers as they tried to calm their heavy breathing and racing hearts. They each opened their eyes in their own time, Mattheo almost instantly so he could watch Olivia’s face. She had the tiny smile he loved on her face. When Olivia finally met his gaze her smile grew, her eyes were so bright and happy it made Mattheo’s heart skip. 

Olivia was filled with an excited and nervous energy. She had been so worried that he may not feel the same way. She tried to convince herself that it was better to stay in her comfort zone and not risk it. But deep down, Olivia knew that she cared too much for him to continue just being friends. He was everything to her; she wanted him to be hers. She knew that she had to finally tell him. “Matty… I’ve wanted to do that for a really long time... I really like you. I’ve liked you for a really long time actually. But I didn't want to risk that friendship with you cause you're my most important friend. You mean everything to me.”

Mattheo’s eyes softened as he listened to her. Unlike him, Olivia had been a lot more subtle about her feelings for him. Lingering eyes, and blushing smiles were his only real indication. Though she was just as clinging as he was, most people who saw them hugging, or walking arm in arm down the corridors attributed it to her personality rather than her being obsessed with him. “I’d risk anything for you Oli. Without question. I like you too."

Olivia looked up at him with the most wonderful smile Mattheo had ever seen from her. He wanted to bask in her presence. He leaned down once again capturing Olivia's lips in a deep, passionate kiss. He needed her to know how much he wanted her. She was quick to return the kiss, letting all the emotions she couldn't yet convey pour out of her. Her pulse raced as she became hyper aware of every little detail of their kiss. How soft it was, how much pressure he put into the kiss. He tasted like smoke and caramels.

 When Mattheo finally broke the kiss, he chuckled at her as he spoke. "C’mon, we should head to bed."

"Mmkay." Olivia replied in a dreamy voice.

Mattheo stood upright, flexing his hands to relax them. He could feel indents from the couch's design on his palms as he held a hand out to help her up. Olivia took hold of his hand, she gave him a gentle squeeze before she stood up.

 "Maybe you could... Stay in my dorm tonight?" Mattheo asked hesitantly.

Olivia couldn't help but smile wider as she looked up at him and said: "I'd like that."