Once Ever Full Moon
"Boy it's bringing you down,"
Severinus wasn’t sitting at the Slytherin table, he didn’t even come to the Great Hall. Arcturus knew that he must be in loads of pain, alone in that Slytherin common room. He was an outcast in his house as much as Arcturus was. His plan to brew wolfsbane was about as much as a bust as asking Professor Snape for the potion was. To say he was upset was an overstatement just because of how much it meant to him. He sat at the end of the table staring at the entrance, tapping his fingers as he waited. No one would care if he’d just gotten up and left but then Sev wouldn’t be able to find him later. He had gotten out of his robes earlier than other students. Wearing a pink hoodie, gray sweatpants and some worn sneakers.
There wasn't a rule about clothing in the evening hours on class days.
Arcturus only waited a little longer, the map was in his pocket. He was impatient poking at the door that was in front of him. The chicken looked perfectly lifeless,its skin a golden brown and slightly crunchy when he poked it with his fork. With no sign of Sev by the end of dinner he’d stood up before it was concluded and walked away. The plates behind him magically floated towards the kitchen. Opening the map in a huff, a little upset he hadn’t seen Sev in two days. He saw Sev’s name with Remus just at the edge of the Hogwarts grounds. His eyes followed a secret passage that led to the shrieking shack. Before he simply just hid as a cat in Sev’s pocket until they had gotten there.
“I’m sure Arcturus is trying to make the right apology.” Remus put a hand on Slytherin's shoulder. “From what you’ve told me, he wouldn’t just bail on you.”
“You… Really didn’t have to give me your wolfsbane.” Sev looked away.
“Trust me, I’ve been in your situation and wolfsbane has been a life changer. When I see Professor Snape again I’ll be asking him to make two goblets.”
“Thank you, but it’s quite okay.” Sev forced a smile. “I’m… a monster either way.”
“Severinus, you are not a monster.”
“If there are any humans around I’d hurt them! Arcturus had to turn into an animal just to be by my side!”
“That doesn’t make you a monster. You can still love others, you have a lot to offer.” Remus said calmly, reassuring.
“Let’s just get there before the moon comes out.” Sev wiped his face and sniffled. Shrugging Remus’ hand off and walking down toward Hogsmeade and the Shrieking Shack.
Looking up at the creak of the door Arcturus stood from where he was sitting, quickly stuffing the map into his pocket and he had a wide smile on his face. Remus had opened the door, letting Sev walk in. When the Slytherin saw his friend he stopped and stared at him questioningly.
“I thought I was never going to be your friend?”
“That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be here.” Arcturus’ smile faltered somewhat.
“Remus gave me his wolfsbane.”
“What? But– “ Arcturus looked to Remus for an answer.
“It’ll be fine. It was only fair, it makes no sense for me to have wolfsbane but for Severinus to not have it.”
“Right, you are an adult here.” Arcturus chuckled.
He saw the moonlight shine through the curtains before the other two and took a deep breath. It wasn’t that he had to but it just felt more funny for him to hold his breath as he transformed. The good thing was that it made Sev smile before his eyes landed on the moon just as Remus’ has. The blond expected to be hit with a harder wave of pain than the one that washed over his body, looking over at Remus he took a couple steps back. Shocked seeing his teacher double over in agony.
“I’m fine.” Remus grunted out, bones cracking and clothes ripping.
Sev didn’t know why but suddenly he was so level headed. The pain was much more dull and he was able to deal with it. Looking up at the bright full moon gleaming down at him like a mother with an inviting smile he let his body contort into the beastly animal form he would forever be cursed to take. For a moment the moon reminded him of Molly Weasley’s smile when she first met him, practically welcoming him into the family because he was the second friend the twins had decided to bring home. What he didn’t expect though was to hear a cat yowl and an aggressive growl before something crashed in the room and he was looking at Remus cornering the small black animal that was his best friend.
The Hogwarts professor was a large graying werewolf with brown fur. Sharp yellow teeth that filled a large maw. It looked as if he would break Arcturus in half with just one snap. Sev really hoped that this wasn’t what he was like during the full moon, he really hoped this wasn’t what he was like without wolfsbane. Without a second thought grabbed the larger wolf by the fur on the back of its neck, trying to pull him away from Arcturus. The only thing he could think of was Arcturus’ safety at the moment.
Feeling teeth on his leg he could see just how scared Arcturus was. Just how truly afraid he was by the werewolf. He didn’t realize until now that being a werewolf was terrifying to others. As soon as Remus had let go of his leg he picked up Arcturus by the scruff of his neck and ran off as fast as he could. On the inside he was crying and praying that he could wake up tomorrow and no longer be a werewolf, that he would no longer terrify his friends or the people around him. Remus was most certainly on his tail so he just kept running, he didn’t stop when he noticed it was the forbidden forest. He didn’t stop when he was alone. Remus didn’t follow him in. He set the cat down and cowered away from the tiny animal. Sev was so upset seeing Arcturus so scared. So afraid.
They couldn’t speak to each other, they couldn’t understand each other right now. The Hufflepuff thought of a million things he wanted to tell Sev. He hated that he made him cower away and fear him as much as anyone else did. They both just stared at each other that night. They would move in unison and just look at one another.
Remus, on the other hand, was very much filled with regret. It had taken a while to come to realize that they were Severinus and Arcturus, the animalistic side of him had blinded him and he felt absolutely horrible about what he had done. It reminded him of the time he’d almost killed James, Sirius, and Peter when they followed him in their animagus forms. He sat down when he realized they weren’t going to come out of the forest anytime soon, he didn’t feel bad for himself but rather felt bad for them. There was no doubt in his mind that the both of them were downright petrified to see their teacher, someone they trusted, behaving like a rabid beast. It took far longer than it did for Severinus, but he’d eventually thought about his humanity. The guilt that weighed on him now was heavier than before.
So he waited for them.
The teacher woke up in the bed at the shrieking shack and had gotten dressed in the silence of the room, he dressed himself quickly just in case someone like Madame Pomfrey had come looking for him. Severinus had eventually found his way back to the shack and rolled in his clothes until he had fallen asleep. Arcturus actually fell off the back of the sofa when he had woken up that morning. Quickly ducking behind the sofa his eyes snapped towards Remus.
“Throw me my clothes! I forgot I lost them when I changed forms.” Arcturus reached an arm out. “Thanks!” He quickly changed behind the sofa, the wooden feet scraping across the wooden floor stirring Sev from his sleep.
“No more pancakes… Mrs Wealsey, m’ full ‘nough as it is.” He slurred, very groggy as he woke himself and asked. “Ugh, What time is it?”
“Around six in the morning, just before everyone in the castle wakes up.” Arcturus answered, looking at his watch as he put it on.
“I don’t want to go back.” Sev whined, curling in on himself. Arcturus nudged him with his foot.
“Yeah, well you have to get to the medical wing.”
“I’d be happy to carry you if you can’t walk.” Remus was standing by the door, he’d just poked his head inside.
“I can manage.” Sev waved away his offer, getting up and pulling on his pants. “Just hope no one sees us.”
“I have a way to guarantee no one does.” Arcturus pulled the parchment out of his pocket. “I took a secret passage to get here, actually.” He opened it up, tapping the tip of his wand to it.
“Where did you find that?” Remus asked, stepping into the room. “Because last I remember it was lost…”
“You sound like you’ve used it before.” Sev rose a brow.
“I– Uh– No. I was a perfect student, I didn’t need the use of a map.” Remus stammered.
“There’s a tunnel that leads back to the castle here.” Arcturus flipped the map to show them where he pointed to. “See?”
“Seems convenient, no one will suspect a thing.” Sev shrugged. He grimaced at his ripped clothes. “Damn it, I have to get another uniform.”
“Don’t you expect these things?” Arcturus asked.
“Of course I do, it's still inconvenient.”
Madame Pomfrey didn’t say a thing when she saw Sev, Remus and Arcturus walk into the medical wing. She only smiled kindly and both Remus and Sev had a bed to lie down in. Arcturus could see the toll it took on Remus compared to Sev and his stomach did flips. He had more scars, more wounds, he looked practically exhausted and almost like he was sick. Sev still had scars but he wasn’t in as bad of a shape as their teacher was in. Arcturus sat in the chair next to Sev’s hospital bed, fiddling with the paper in his pocket. It was always awkward, not knowing what to say.
“I’m sorry you had to see that.” Sev broke the silence.
“What– “
“I- I didn’t know just how bad it was.”
“What are you talking about– “
“You were practically terrified last night.”
“Because I had never seen Remus like that before.”
“... But he’s your uncle?”
“Yeah, but he doesn’t live with us.” Arcturus leaned back in the chair. “I knew he was a werewolf but didn’t know what he would be like when he transformed, but I know what you’re like when you transform.” He explained.
“I… guess that makes sense.”
“Of course it makes sense, it’s logical.”
“So… You’re not scared of me?”
“No. I don’t think I could ever be scared of you, and if I was then I’m a coward.”
“You are a coward, Arcturus, but that’s okay.” Sev smiled brightly even though he was in boatloads of pain. “Oh! We could play boardgames after class while I recover!”
“Sure.” Arcturus rolled his eyes. “We can play board games.”
That evening he expected Remus to invite him to tea in his office to discuss the night prior, what Arcturus didn’t expect was that he had also invited Severinus as well. So he sat there awkwardly, sipping on his tea. It was even more strange that Sev was pretending he wasn’t hurt by Arcturus, which made this endeavor far more uncomfortable than it should have been.
“Again, even though you denied before. My offer still stands.” Remus set down his teacup. “About Snape brewing additional wolfsbane.”
“Oh– “ Sev choked on his tea, it clinked with the saucer in his hand. “You really, really don’t have to do that.”
“Excuse me what– “ Arcturus spoke up. “He could have just made a batch this whole time?!” Some of the honey colored liquid dripped down the sides. “I didn’t have to pour over books in the library?!” Neither had any idea if he sounded happy or upset.
“Severinus would have to be the one to ask Professor Snape, if he so wished. Help comes to those who ask for it, of course.” Remus chuckled.
“I– To be completely honest I did not want to be a bother on Professor Snape. I just– “ Sev sighed, frustrated. “Since I was born with the lycanthropy virus I felt I needed to show I was more adapted to it.” Sev took another sip, looking down to avoid eyes staring at him.
“That’s like me saying because I’m part of the Black family I shouldn’t let these putrid rumors get to me. It’s like asking a mermaid not to swim because she’s half human and must brave the land!” Arcturus snorted. “That's an absolutely ridiculous way of thinking. It’s so black and white but you’ve forgotten that lycanthropy is a gray area!” Arcturus set his tea down and hid his face away. “Sorry, sorry. I just– that was the stupidest thing I have heard you say by far, and you say a lot of stupid things.”
“Arcturus– “
“Apologize to him.” He didn’t think he would ever see his uncle this angry. It bubbled in his eyes and spread to his body language.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, no! You’re right actually. I need wolfsbane as much as other werewolves do!” He smiled brightly, he had realized something. “Please, ask Professor Snape.”
Remus blinked twice, he hadn’t expected that at all. He thought he was looking at James and Sirius instead of the boys in front of him. Tears filled his eyes but he looked away and drank his tea. His friends were dead but somehow they lived on through the people he saw, but they truly lived on through Harry and Arcturus respectively.
“You know, you may not say you care about me or tell me I’m your friend but, I know you care.” Sev put a hand on Arcturus’ shoulder.
“Yeah, whatever.” The Hufflepuff rolled his eyes.
They really were like Sirius and James.