“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not interested.”
“I’m sorry!”
“Save your breath.”
It was nighttime. Lily, who was wearing a dressing gown, stood with her arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower.
“I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.”
“I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just – ”
“Slipped out?” There was no pity in Lily’s voice. ”It’s too late. I’ve made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends – you see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?”
He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking.
“I can’t pretend anymore. You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine.”
“No – listen, I didn’t mean – ”
“ – to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?”
He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole…
At least that was what Lily wanted to do; what she didn’t expect was to suddenly feel a hand taking a hold of her wrist. It surprised her so much that a light pull made her stumble back out of the portrait hole before the portrait could swing close behind her.
“I told you –” Lily started but wasn’t able to finish her sentence as suddenly a pair of lips was pressed against hers.
This was so unexpected that Lily was standing there as if she was petrified as Severus lips were gently pressed against hers. For a moment it seemed as if her brain stopped working and her body denied following her orders, but after a moment she finally was able to move again and wrapped her arms around the neck of her oldest friend, the friend she thought she had lost to the dark side.
Slowly she started to move her lips against his, closing her eyes as she enjoyed the feeling of his lips against hers. She had more than once thought about kissing him, wondered how it would feel… But this wasn’t even close to what she imagined.
Sure, Lily had kissed other boys but not even a single one of these kisses had been like this one, and if she didn't know for sure that Severus had never kissed a girl in his life before she would have thought that he must have kissed many girls.
This kiss, it felt perfect even though it wasn’t perfect.
Now it was Severus that didn’t move for a second. He hadn’t thought when he had reached for Lily's hand, pulled her back to him and simply kissed her; it had just seemed like the last and only option to make her understand what he couldn’t say with words.
When his brain had finally started to work again, he had anticipated that she would push him away and scream at him, maybe even slap him for the audacity to simply kiss her. That Lily might return the kiss had never come to his mind; it had never been an option for his brain.
Finally, when he realized that he had control over his body again, he did let go of her wrist and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her tighter against him.
After what felt like an eternity they finally broke apart to breathe, opening their eyes again while Severus kept his hands on her waist.
Green eyes looked into black ones. And black eyes looked into green ones.
“Sev –” Lily started but was interrupted by him.
“That is why you’re different,” Severus whispered as he gently leaned his forehead against hers. “I was stupid, but Lily… I did choose my way the day I first saw you.”
Lily was silent, her green eyes wide as she kept looking into his black ones and listened to every word. She wanted him to keep talking.
“The day I first saw you I knew that only you mattered.” A sigh escaped his lips as he closed his eyes, leaning down to brush his lips against hers one more time before he continued. “All I care about is you, Lily.”
“But why do you spend time with people that hate people like me?” Lily whispered while looking into his eyes, her voice soft and a bit wavering with insecurity.
“Because…” Severus took a deep breath. “You know my home life is far from perfect Lily, and I hoped that Hogwarts might become my home but instead I was tormented and embarrassed every single day, so much that people didn’t want to be my friend out of fear of becoming a target…”
Green eyes blinked before a small nod came from the red-haired girl, wanting the black-haired boy to continue.
“They offered me a way to power, to become a respected man and I thought…” Severus sighed and looked down at the ground. “I thought that is what you would want instead of a boy that isn’t able to defend himself,” he mumbled.
Lily moved her arms slowly and Severus closed his eyes, anticipating that she would tell him that he was right before she left him for good, but instead he felt her soft and warm hands on his cheeks as she gently made him look up again.
Before he could even open his eyes, he felt soft and full warm lips pressed against his thin ones. It was a gentle and innocent kiss, but it was all he needed to understand that Lily wouldn’t judge him, that she wouldn’t leave him.
“Sev…” She whispered and he slowly opened his eyes. “You’re a powerful wizard without them, they only use you… And Potter knows that he doesn’t stand a chance if he were alone against you and without the element of surprise.”
This time it was Severus that simply kissed Lily again, pulling her a bit tighter against him once more as a smile came to his lips.
“I know now that I was a fool Lily,” he whispered to her. “But I promise you that I will change, I promise you to leave them and never again use this foul word.”
Lilys arms moved around his neck again as she hugged him, sure that she would get her Severus back, the boy she had met years ago and that had owned her heart since then.
“Would you accompany me to Dumbledore?” Severus then asked her, and Lily looked at him questioningly but before she even could ask, he continued. “I wish to tell him what Mulciber did to Mary. A witness should be enough ground to suspend Mulciber, if not even expel him.”
And once more Lily kissed him, this time more passionately before she looked at him with the biggest grin that Severus had ever seen.
“You would do that?” she asked in a happy tone, and just the nod of Severus was enough for her to kiss him once more.
Neither Lily nor Severus had noticed the sandy haired boy that had watched them with a small smile from a few feet away.
It was their luck that the boy had been on his way back to the Gryffindor common room because his friends thought that he would make sure that Lily didn't forgive Severus.
Never would they have anticipated that their friend would instead stay silent. That their friend would even be happy that two people overcame all their hardships and challenges to finally find together.
It was a scene that gave Remus Lupin hope for his own future, hope that he also would find happiness.