Penny looked up over her drink; you were already looking, and there was absolutely no point in pretending you didn’t, she already caught you. There, sitting in the corner at Three Broomsticks, surrounded by all your friends, you blushed. You weren’t alone, you reminded yourself. No, not at all. The arm around Penny’s shoulders made sure you wouldn’t forget. Diego kissed her cheek for what felt like the thousandth time, and you looked away, finally. Everyone was celebrating some accomplishment you didn’t even remember anymore (someone got a promotion, you think), and you just started to think that a butterbeer would be too light for this. If you would spend the night watching Penny being kissed by someone else, you needed something stronger, like firewhisky.
“Who’s up for an upgrade?” You asked, raising your glass. Tonks was the first to yell in agreement, followed by most of your friends. Ben knew someone who was throwing a party that night, and that was where you decided to spend the night. Ben led the way, apparating first, and the group followed.
The party was already wild when you arrived. There were firewhisky shots everywhere and you didn’t waste any time. Ben went to say hi to his friend, whoever it was, and you stuck beside Tonks, Tulip and Chiara (the latter was the only one who wasn’t planning on passing out drunk) for the entire night. Penny didn’t leave Diego’s side, and even though you were trying too hard to act like you didn’t even notice, you couldn’t stop staring every now and then. Maybe to the point where it started to bother her, because you’d catch Penny staring back at you, so you tried your best to avoid being around her.
At first, it worked perfectly. Tonks and Tulip forced you to dance with them, and you were drunk enough to do it without complaints; you must have danced for a good thirty minutes before you started to feel like you needed some fuel, so you went to the kitchen. You’ve never been to that house before, but the kitchen wasn’t hard to find, and Ben was there chatting with a few friends of his.
“There you are”, he said, gesturing for you to come closer. “I want you to meet my friends”
Ben’s friends were actually quite nice. You sat down and talked for a bit, while taking small bites of some weird kind of sandwich they were serving at the party, and drinking shot after shot of firewhisky. When you were ready to come back to the heart of the party, you were far past being drunk.
“Hey, golden girl, where you been?” Tulip asked, slurring her words. She put her arm around your shoulder, bringing you back to the dance floor.
“Just… around”, and you tried to give a better answer, but your brain seemed like it would shut down any second now, overwhelmed by all the drinking, dancing and all the sweat you could smell on the dance floor. Your friends laughed at your failed attempt, anyways, and that had to be enough.
You had been dancing with them for what felt like forever when Penny and Diego decided to steal the scene. That he was a great dancer you all already knew, so it wasn’t hard to sway Penny off her feet (quite literally) in front of the three of you. She was beaming in his arms, jumping, swirling, grinding, and you were going crazy.
You weren’t a bad dancer yourself, although you lacked the awards and recognition Diego had, but that wasn’t what mattered at all. What did matter, what bothered you, was that he was dancing with Penny in his arms.
You never understood what she saw in him, what attracted her. You didn’t think he was bad looking, even though he was far from your type, but you didn’t understand why she’d choose him of all people. Not to brag, but you’ve been approached by admires more than twice and it wasn’t hard to admit you were one of the most desired girls back in the Hogwarts days.
But they weren’t Penny. You had always known you felt something for the potionist, ever since it was just a crush. You don’t know when exactly you fell for Penny, all you know is that you did, and she was already taken; she chose Diego (not that picking you was ever on the table, as far as you knew), and all you could do was accept it. So you did it, for two years now you watched as your best friend fell in love with him, you were the one she confided in about how much she liked him, the one she came crying to everytime he messed up, hoping you could be the one to love her right. To be honest, you felt sick about it all. Penny only opened up to you about it all because she thought she could trust you, her friend; and here you are, dreaming about the day she’ll finally dump his ass.
So you settled with daydreaming, and took it without complaining. Nobody knew about your feelings for Penny, not any of your friends, not even Rowan did. You weren’t sure about why you never said anything, between the vaults and thinking she’d never give you the time of the day, you just thought it was a bad idea to confess your feelings, it would pass. Now, long years have passed and you know better. It won’t pass. Maybe it was the firewhisky, but for the first time ever you felt like you should do something about it. Penny deserved better than Diego, he could never love her as much as he loved himself and everyone knew it. Were you better than Diego though? It was time to find out.
“C’mere”, you heard him saying to Penny after a long dance routine. It was sad that she didn’t even spend some time with the rest of you, but you didn’t mean to intrude. “C’mon Pens, I don’t wanna stay in the middle of all these sweaty blokes”
Penny eventually gave in, following him to a secluded corner, and you tried to look away. Tulip had just been dared to drink a bunch of shots and was about to try it; now that was something you wanted to see.
“You will never win, hun”, Tonks slurred between hiccups. She was way more wasted than you. The both of you cheered (although your metamorphmagus friend was cheering for Tulip to fail) and Tulip gave up when she eventually threw up on her shoes.
“That’s gross”, you said, taking her arm. “Maybe we should head home, Karasu”
"What? No!”
“Come on!” You insisted. “I’ll take you”
“You’re far too drunk to do that”, Tonks replied, bumping into the both of you and almost meeting the ground. “Chiara can take her!”
“But where is she?”
You realised you were too worried about Penny to notice Chiara was missing. She didn’t drink, so she was probably fine, but again you felt like shit because of your sick obsession.
“She’ll come around, okay?” Tulip said as she shook her arm free. “I’m fine, don’t be a boomer”
“You mean a bummer?”
“Whatever”
You tried not to worry about her, you really were too drunk to take care of anyone. Maybe Chiara would show up and take Tulip home, so you decided to at least try to chill until then.
When Chiara finally showed up, she was sober as always. She was fine with taking Tulip home (“I’m done with this party anyways”, she said), and you stayed alone while Tonks tried to score with a guy near the kitchen door. That was when you decided to do your way too frequent check up on Penny and, surprise: she was alone.
“What?” You said. You didn’t think twice before you started walking towards her, her gaze already on you as you walked. “Hey, Penny”
You tried to sound casual but wasn’t sure if it worked or if she noticed you were desperate to talk before Diego came back from wherever he was.
“Hey…”
“Everything okay?”
“I suppose you could say so”
“Where is Diego?”
“He… He left a while ago”
“He left? He left you alone?”
Penny stared at her shoes while talking, probably embarrassed, but you tried to contain your smile so she wouldn’t hear it in your voice. “Why did he leave you, Pens?”
“He has some duelling event first thing in the morning, didn’t want to be up late”
“Oh, I see”, you came closer, leaning against the wall like her. “You could’ve come talk to us, you know? Tulip got so wasted”
Penny laughed, picturing it.
“I bet it was great. Did they leave already? Are you alone too?”
“Tonks and Ben are still out there… somewhere”
“I think I’m gonna head out too, it is pretty late”
“Oh, Pens, stay! I bet you didn’t have that much fun tonight. We could go crazy together”
You tried, really, really tried to get her to stay. You tried to remember the last time you were alone with Penny without it being about Diego, but it was too long ago to remember.
“I guess I could stay for a few more drinks”
“Perfect!” You didn’t waste time and grabbed her wrist, dragging her with you to the kitchen. With a shot in each of your hands, you felt content. “Ready?”
Penny mimicked you as you gulped your shot and frowned, which made you laugh; “How can it be that bad?” She asked, displeased. You were aware drinking wasn’t really her thing, damn it wasn’t yours either, but you knew you needed it to go through a night like that.
“I can’t believe Diego left you here alone”, you heard your voice saying after a while. You noticed the both of you were lying on the grass outside, but didn’t remember getting there in the first place.
“It’s fine, we don’t have to talk about it”
“Are you sure? I wouldn’t leave you alone, Pens”
You turned your head towards her only to find out she was already staring at you, mouth slightly open as if looking for the words to say. You felt the blood rushing straight to your cheeks and sat up, hiding from her stare. Even though you kept looking at your lap, pretending your hands were suddenly so interesting, you could feel her eyes burning on your back.
“I don’t even know why I stayed, to be honest”, Penny said, sitting up beside you. “He did offer to take me home, I just… I don’t know, I wasn’t ready to leave”
“Yeah? I don’t know why I stayed either”, you reply, thinking back to the bunch of opportunities you had to go home that night.
“But I’m glad I did”, you hear, and you lock your eyes with Penny’s blue haze, finding yourself unable to let go now.
“I’m glad you did, too”
The both of you kept staring, and it might have been the firewhisky, or maybe the way her body emanated a comforting heat in such a cold night, but you felt your body leaning in, you couldn’t stop it, and you could swear you saw her lean in too.
“Ah, I’m really drunk”, Penny said, suddenly plopping down on the grass, getting away from you and crushing your expectations as quickly as they built up.
“Do you want me to take you home now?”
“Can you even? I mean, you’re drunker than I am”
You laugh, even though you know she has a point, and get up anyways, feeling ready to finally leave.
“I should probably go check on Tonks then…”
As you turned to go back inside the house, Penny sighed behind you, and you heard her murmur
“I thought you said you wouldn’t leave me alone”
And she was right, you knew it. Like you always did, you were letting your fears get in the way, putting up all these walls, all these reasons (that weren’t really reasons, but it was better to just pretend) for why you shouldn’t be around her, why you shouldn’t let your expectations get too high, and here she was, calling you out on it. You always kept telling yourself you could be better than Diego, do better, and now was the time to put that theory to test, you guessed. So, instead of walking away, you let go of the door handle, turning back towards Penny. She was leaning back, with her arms holding her up, and looked straight into your eyes as soon as you turned to her.
“So, can you keep your word?”
Her words kept burning into your mind, ringing in your ears, and you felt hot; hot because of all the whisky, because of the all night longing, the stolen stares, the innocent smiles, and now this. Could it be that Penny was too drunk? If that was the case, you knew you probably should back off, let her sober up and move on as if tonight never happened. But you didn't know if you had it in you, to walk away from this, from her, as if it was nothing. Besides, you did always keep your word.
“Penny…”
You didn’t even have the words. After all those years you pined over her, all those conversations you played up in your head before bed every night, laying in that twin bed in Hogwarts, you still didn’t know what to tell her. How to tell her.
It turned out, you didn’t have to. Penny got up and walked to you, never leaving your eyes, until there was barely any space between the two of you. Her hands were cold when she cupped your face, and you felt yourself leaning in again, any self consciousness and carefulness long gone. And then, she finally leaned into you, touching your lips with a tender feeling, one you didn’t ever want to miss.
When you finally, painfully, leaned back, catching your breath, Penny had her eyes closed, her forehead pressed against yours and, brushing her lips on yours, she spoke up.
“Take me home, then”