tya's whimsies

“It is good that we do not have to try to kill the sun or the moon or the stars. It is enough to live on the sea and kill our true brothers.”

― Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea

Nagisa sees him every time she looks at her reflection. At every stage of her life, he is there, a translucent after-image hovering over her shoulder. She knows him better than she knows herself.

As a stern matron rubs her face with a cloth until she bleeds in a fruitless attempt to get rid of the whisker marks on her cheeks, the blond man in the bathroom mirror presses a hand to his own face like he's remembering a phantom pain he’d never allowed himself to think about. Nagisa’s sight blurs with tears. The man disappears behind her wet lashes. She is two years old.

A year later, the same woman files down her pointy teeth. Nagisa lets it happen without a twitch. It hurts, but it is not a surprising pain: she has never known kindness. And besides, once the pain is gone, her canines will grow back to their original length. None of the matron's efforts to turn her into something she is not have ever succeeded. She eyes her reflection. The blond man has a hand on her mirror self's shoulder, and he is petting her cherry red hair to comfort her. She doesn't feel it, but seeing him do so soothes something in her that she can't quite name. She wants to smile, but the matron’s firm grip on her jaw stops her. Her eyes still crinkle, and he beams back at her. Their eyes are identical, blue like the sea and the sky it reflects.

Months later, she is at the playground building a sandcastle. She is all by herself, as usual. Nagisa does not look at the playing children surrounding her, or the way they give her a wide berth. Instead she grins at the blond man reflected in the rounded metal of the swing's support as he gives her two thumbs-up, encouraging her. Their impish smiles are shadows of each other.

When she is four, she sees him just before a boy pushes her into the pond and holds her head underwater, crowing that he’s doing a service to the village. The blond man shouts in worry, though he knows she won’t hear it. She doesn’t dwell on it; she is too busy retreating into herself. This much won’t kill her, she knows, but the pain is terrible. When things like this happen, she prefers going away inside. The blond man was crying, she thinks before her mind goes blank and her lungs start burning.

Five months and a birthday later, he is on the distorted surface of a crystal ball as the matron of the orphanage holds her shoulder in a tight grip, pleading the Hokage to take her elsewhere. It is the first time she meets Sarutobi Hiruzen, but she is focused on the warped image of her ghost making reassuring gestures at her. He is trying to say that the Sandaime is trust-worthy, she thinks. This is the first time they disagree.

The Sandaime is a cruel man, though a remorseful one. The pain he inflicts on her is born of neglect and of bad decisions. He does not intend to harm her. It happens anyway.

Nagisa knows this because she recognises the face of the man in the mirror. She knows his name. Uzumaki Naruto is her, or what she could have been. An alternate self years out of step, observed through her reflection and known to her through the resonance of their soul. Nagisa thanks the mirror world and the intrinsic, if incomplete knowledge she has of it for the insight it gives her on her own life. So many things make sense, and the older consciousness she instinctively absorbs every time she looks at him has allowed her to cope with the harsh world she lives in. It has not made her older, but it has made her wise beyond her years.

She knows Naruto and his story, and in return she knows herself.

Like him, she is the human sacrifice chosen to jail the Kyuubi no Kitsune. She is the hidden daughter of the Yondaime Hokage and of the last Uzumaki in Konoha. But she is no hero. Naruto had a big heart and even bigger dreams. Nagisa has none of that. Because she knows what it took for him to forgive, she can't bring herself to do so.

The only legacy of love she will accept from him is one the village would rather see her deny.

(She wants to press her hand to her stomach, where she knows the seal is concealed, but she cannot. Not yet.)

So she finds herself turning away from the crystal ball and gazing into the eyes of the jailer who claims to care for her, and she does not let him see that she resents him.

The matron is saying that keeping Nagisa at the orphanage while she attends the Academy is unthinkable.

"We cannot watch her and care for the other children, Sandaime-sama. She requires more attention than we can provide. Please consider entrusting her to someone who can handle her. Danzo-sama said—"

"That's enough," the old man cuts her off. The room seems to suddenly darken, the presence of the village leader makes itself more obvious, his disapproval heavy in the air. She flinches and grips Nagisa's shoulder harder for it. The Hokage's kindly gaze sharpens, and the matron lets go of her like she's been burnt.

Nagisa presses her lips together and quietly rubs the side of the clavicle into which the woman had dug her nails into. The Sandaime's eyes are full of pity as he notices her movement. She ignores it.

"You're dismissed, Kazue-san. I will arrange alternate arrangements for Nagisa-chan."

The woman bows low and murmurs a quiet goodbye. Nagisa looks down at her shoes, unwilling to make eye contact with her personal tormentor. The matron wasn't a villain, but she was... sharp. Unlike the Sandaime, her cruelty was intentional. Always intent on keeping Nagisa away from the other children, of reminding her of her place and of all the ways she stood out. She sought to make her less noticeable under the guise of caring for her safety, but it was always blatantly obvious that her main motivation was to remove what she found unpleasant. Nagisa's fox traits were her main target at first, and now that she has come to terms with the fact that she cannot make them go away, she wants her gone altogether.

Aside from her dislike for the fox rearing its head from time to time, she didn't go out of her way to mistreat Nagisa. The girl was fed regularly, cleaned, clothed and taught the same way as the other children. But always apart from them. Out of mind.

"Do you know who I am?" asks the Sandaime.

"You're the Hokage," she replies quietly.

"And do you know what this means?"

"That you're the leader of the village."

The man nods, looking pleased. "And do you know what it means for you to have been brought here?"

"Kazue-sama doesn't want me at the orphanage anymore, so she's asking you to choose another guardian for me because you're in charge of all the orphans of Konoha."

"That's exactly it," he says, surprised. "You're a bright girl, Nagisa-chan. Now, what do you think about having to leave your friends at the orphanage?"

Nagisa shrugs. "I don't have friends."

The admission has Sarutobi's eyes slipping closed for a split second before he forces himself to open them again. He looks weary. Tired.

"I see." After saying so, he adds some cheer to his voice and tells her, "you will be able to make some at the Academy, Nagisa-chan. That sounds nice, doesn't it?"

Nagisa contemplates telling him she doesn't want to be a kunoichi, just to see what he would say. It would be a lie, of course, but a potentially interesting one to tell. She decides against it. It's futile, after all, and she doesn't want to know how he'll try to break it to her that orphans with a functional chakra network are required to attend unless they have found an apprenticeship. Nagisa knows exactly how high her chances of getting one of those is, she doesn't need to be told to her face that no one outside the Shinobi Corps will want her. In the eyes of the civilians, she is a demon and a wild thing.

She has Sarutobi Hiruzen to thank for that, she knows.

Naruto had been so happy to learn he could be a ninja. Nagisa feels the same thrill to hone herself into a blade, but the Will of Fire has escaped her.

"It does," she says.

The Sandaime smiles kindly and stands up. He asks her to wait for him while he sorts out her living situation.

"Can I look around, ya know?" she asks him innocently, gesturing at the office. "Or else I'll be bored."

"Of course." He makes a hand sign, and Nagisa laments her lack of knowledge of the shinobi arts.

She knows Naruto's story up to his adulthood. She has seen how far he's come from the downtrodden orphan they both are. She can see the techniques he's learnt and performed in her mind's eye. Nagisa feels his journey in her soul, but the emotions, the blood, sweat and tears, the memories are not hers. She cannot review them at her leisure, stop time and linger on hand signs long enough to know how to perform them. She cannot learn to manipulate chakra just by watching him fight and struggle against enemies twice his age and skill. She has a better grasp of Naruto's precious people than his skills and techniques.

She learned that the hard way when she tried to use the mirror world to learn how to read.

She has to start from zero, just like he did. It is both a blessing and a curse. She at least knows where to look, and the blank slate will allow her to develop her own skills without the too-long shadow cast by her already adult counterpart hindering her. It also sharply emphasises the ways in which Naruto and Nagisa are different.

Where he is their mother's son, loud and bright and kind, she is their father's daughter. Quiet, cautious, pragmatic. Calculated despite a friendly facade.

(But still an idealist, no matter what Nagisa likes to tell herself.)

Where Naruto fought for Konoha's love and the acknowledgement of its people, Nagisa yearns for whirlpools and a sun-dappled seashore, for a family she does not have to earn. Her counterpart did not know he could dream of a lost village until it was too late. But Nagisa has his knowledge, and his indomitable ambition. She will roam free on the island of her ancestors, or she will die trying. And the soul she holds captive in a prison of her father's making will be set free.

That is her nindō.

She might be her father's daughter in many ways, but this ambition is hers only, and she does not delude herself into thinking that her parents would approve of it. She will do it anyway.

(In a gilded jail, red eyes open slowly. A fox flicks an ear. He is listening.)

Nagisa is left alone in the Hokage's office, though she is under no illusion that she is not being watched.

She putters around, pretending to be more interested in the trinkets decorating the various shelves than in any of the paperwork or drawers. She plays around with the crystal ball and waves at Naruto who is watching her worriedly. Nagisa sometimes wishes they could communicate, but the link between their twin souls only extends to mirror images, and unlike Naruto, she cannot decipher inverted hiragana.

She will learn shinobi hand signs, she promises herself. It will come.

Nagisa puts down the crystal ball and crawls under the desk, where she pretends to be playing hide and seek. After a minute she sighs, as if bored, and starts opening all the drawers.

Her ears prickle, and she seems to hear a choking sound as she promptly unravels all the scrolls she can find, pretending to be innocently playing. It doesn't take long until she finds the one she is looking for.

Senju Tobirama's Kage Bunshin no Jutsu.

Naruto's ace, and the technique of his she has dreamed of learning above all others. She stares at it for a long time, memorising the sequence of hand signs. She doesn't attempt it; she only needs to be able to remember it.

After she feels confident that she will be able to rewrite the instructions for her own use later, she grabs a brush from the Hokage's desk and dips it into the inkpot she finds next to it. Nagisa holds it in front of the scroll and hums, "what am I gonna draw?" before moving her arm forward.

A flurry of movement disturb the peaceful quiet of the room, and a masked man is suddenly holding her up, his other hand grabbing at the dripping brush before she can deface the scroll with it.

"Heh?" she exclaims.

***

When the Hokage comes back, he is greeted by a sheepish grey-haired ANBU holding Nagisa in his arms as she tries to wriggle out. His office looks like it's been swept into a tornado.

Nagisa considers it a mission accomplished.

(She memorises the scent of her future sensei. Naruto never met him before his graduation. He never knew he should miss Hatake Kakashi. She knows better and it wounds her, but she still yearns for his presence, and the joy he brought her counterpart. She doesn't know if she will have that. Team Seven is a three-man cell composed of one kunoichi and two shinobi. The discrepancy might cause her to be assigned elsewhere, since Sharingan no Kakashi is better served teaching Uchiha Sasuke how to use his doujutsu. She doesn't dare hope for what is not guaranteed.)

***

The apartment they stuff her into is small, but good enough for an Academy-age girl. If one ignores the fact that an —almost— six year-old should not be living alone.

Nagisa doesn't mind. It is better to be alone than surrounded by cruelty and indifference.

She does not pay rent. The Hokage does not bother explaining it, likely figuring that a five-year-old wouldn't ask. A small stipend is placed on her doorstep every two weeks, and she is told she can come as often as she wishes to the Tower, provided she leaves the drawers alone. She makes no promises.

Her flat is close to the Academy and the Hokage building, but it is closer to the Ume District, where lower class people live.

The people around her are poor, and they rarely bother her as long as she keeps her hair hidden. She buys a head scarf with her first stipend and hides her whiskers with bandages when she shops. The grocer she goes to is located at the far end of the Ume District, next to a pleasure house. She knows to go there because Naruto has tried about every shop in Konoha, and few will give a jinchuuriki fair prices, but this one does, and that's precious.

The onee-san from the brothel she sometimes sees on the streets are the nicest people she's ever met. Sometimes she peeks at the windows and watches them dance, imitating their movements with wobbly steps, her tongue stuck out of her mouth as she concentrates.

She wants to be graceful like they are. She wants to move like she is flying, walk like she is stepping on clouds. She admires their fan dances and wishes she was this beautiful. But she is only Nagisa, the feral wild thing left behind by two parents who loved their village more than they loved her.

Her favourite is Manami-oiran. She has red hair, like Nagisa. Her eyes are brown though, not blue like hers or Naruto's, or purple like their mother and the other Uzumaki her counterpart has met.

Nagisa wants to believe they are from the same clan, but she cannot bring herself to ask. So she just watches her and mimicks her gestures in the shadows. The grocer, Takeo-san, once catches her at it. He has been politely pretending he doesn't know who Nagisa is for weeks now, but she smelled the sharp fear on him when he finally realised. She likes that he still treats her the same despite it. He is gruff, but not unkind.

"Manami-oiran is the most popular flower in Tobiume House," he tells her with shadowed eyes. "She's been proposed to a dozen times, but she always refuses. Says she'll only accept a man who'll take her home."

Nagisa yearns so much it hurts. She manages to unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth long enough to ask woodenly.

"Where is Manami-oiran's home?"

"Not Konoha, though she was born there. I don't know, girl," he adds harshly with a shake of his head, "ask her yourself."

He leaves with a hurried pace after that.

Nagisa's eyes stay glued to the window, where Manami-oiran is still dancing. The woman turns and seems to pause as she sees the small child staring at her. A strand of hair tumbles from Nagisa's scarf, and the woman's eyes widen. The girl gasps and ducks down to hide herself before she dashes back to her apartment.

A week later, Takeo-san hands her a letter when she goes to shop. His mouth is set in a frown, his expression unreadable.

She thanks him and leaves with her paid groceries. Nagisa does not open the letter on the way. She waits until she's home, unloads her bag and makes for the bathroom. The closed space is where she practises the signs for the Bunshin. It is the only room in the house no ANBU dares to walk into. They listen in, of course, but she knows to be quiet.

Despite this, the contents of the letter almost make her gasp.

There are two sheets of paper inside, both signed by Manami-oiran. She already knows she will have to keep the first one to herself; the contents of it would put the lady in trouble, she is sure of it. But the second one is only a drawing of a crane flying over the sea, with beautiful calligraphy inviting Nagisa to visit and learn the dances she is so fascinated by. A kindness from a young woman to a little girl.

When she is done reading the second letter, she feels like she's been wrung dry. She turns to Naruto who is watching her curiously from the mirror and mouths, "did you know?"

She brandishes the first letter and waits until the man has finished reading it, his bizarre skill at reading in reverse coming in handy. His expression turns serious, then he shakes his head. He says something, but Nagisa isn't good at lip reading. She can guess, though. Naruto is a boy. Peeping on oiran and shinzo would have ended badly for him if he'd been caught.

Manami-oiran knows her name, and she tells Nagisa to call her nee-san. She tells them they are kin, though distantly. She does not say anything about Nagisa's mother, that wouldn't be allowed, but she says her hair is a sign that she is descended from the lost island of Uzushio, which can be found in Nami no Kuni, the Land of Waves. She says they used to protect the land, but that they cannot anymore. She tells her it's a secret.

Nagisa thinks of Naruto's trip to Nami. She can read between the lines. Manami is telling her Uzushiogakure used to be Nami's ninja village, like Konohagakure is Hi no Kuni's. That she told her as much is already priceless, she will not press Manami-nee for more. Tears spill from her eyes. Nagisa has found her first precious person, like Naruto did years ago.

She turns on the sink and runs the water over the first letter before throwing it away. Then she leaves the bathroom, the second one in hand, and makes a production of framing it in front of her bed. Her eyes are red, but her smile bright.

When she next sees Manami, she gives her a hug and thanks her for the pretty drawing. As she does so, she discreetly draws a spiral on her arm. Manami takes her to her quarters in Tobiume House and teaches her dances she knows must be from their homeland. Not a word of their secret passes between them, but they both know what they have gained in each other.

Later, once she is old enough to hear it, Manami-nee will tell her that many of the civilian survivors of their clan ended up destitute, and that her mother had to sell herself to the Tobiume House to make ends meet. Manami was raised with stories of Uzushio, and a desperate longing in her heart. She dreams of seeing her mother's home, and that is what still sustains her to this day.

In this they are alike.

(She will also give Nagisa a warning; all the shinobi of Uzushio who sought refuge in Konoha and donned the village's hitai-ate are now dead or disappeared. Manami does not think it is a coincidence.)

***

Nagisa enters the Academy two months later. It is April. The day before, she went to a cherry blossom viewing with Manami. When they are together, people do not look at her strangely. She passes for her little sister and, though they attract attention with their colouring, people do not harass them for it. She sometimes hears scornful whispers commenting on their resemblance with the demon but Nagisa makes sure to paint her face with oshiroi to pass as a particularly young kamuro and avoid scrutiny.

Nagisa has so far been shielded from the scorn of civilians. Unlike the orphans who all knew what she looked like and took the matrons' disdain as their own, most civilians do not recognise her if she takes precautions. Red hair might be rare, but it is the whiskers they look out for. There are after all a handful of Uzumaki-blooded civilians in the poorer districts, and though few of them have hair as bright as hers and Manami-nee, it is not unheard of.

The young girl only wears her face bare when she goes and visit the Sandaime. She does not go often; once a month is enough, and if she doesn't go he comes to her. Nagisa still doesn't like him. Despite his grandfatherly mien, she always feels used in his presence. Reminded that she is a weapon before she is a child. He might treat her warmly, but she feels the cold calculation under it. He wants to be liked because Nagisa liking him means that she will stay loyal.

As she starts the Academy, she will not cover her face either. She wants her classmates and teachers to know who she is, and decide how they want to treat her. If they reject her, that's fine. She has Manami-nee.

On the first day of class, they are subjected to a series of tests. They evaluate every student on their reading and writing skills, their physical fitness and the state of their chakra network. A medic-nin is invited specifically to perform the latter, and the man flinches when he sees Nagisa.

She looks down at herself, clad in an orange and blue haori, her hair arranged in freshly cut bangs and her pigtails carefully tied with blue ribbons. She doesn't see anything worthy of fear. Nagisa raises her head up and tilts it, looking at the man with a puzzled frown.

"Are you alright, mister? You should go home if you're sick, ya know."

The medic-nin gulps. "I'm fine, Uzumaki-chan. Let's proceed, shall we?"

Nagisa lets herself be examined, then goes to join the children who are already done with their evaluations. She eyes them warily. She recognises some of them from the orphanage. She saw others come in with their civilian parents. And there is Uchiha Sasuke, looking bright and nervous.

He is nothing like Naruto remembers him. Nagisa doesn't know enough about it to even take a guess as to why that is, but time changes people, and what would drive the boy to betray Konoha and leave with Orochimaru is none of her business. She plans to run too, after all.

Knowing what happened in Naruto's life doesn't mean she understands the series of events that led to the future he now lives in. There are things she wants to prevent from happening, others she doesn't care to. This village is her cage, after all. There is no sense in polishing the bars that hold her prisoner. She might sometimes wonder if it is reckless and selfish to do this when she knows about the upheaval that will come, but she can only promise herself to stay long enough to avoid a tragedy. She doesn't owe Konoha anything else.

"You're so flexible," says a girl at her side.

She turns curiously, and is met with a pair of dark eyes and long purple hair. The girl towers over her and knows it. She leans her way with a friendly smile.

"I dance," she tells her, craning up her neck a bit to look at her in the eye. Nagisa is short. She hadn't realised it before that.

The girl lights up. "Me too. I'm Ami."

"Uzumaki Nagisa."

Ami starts chatting at her. Nagisa does her best to listen and ask some questions of her own. It's been a while since she talked to anyone but Manami or the Sandaime. It's nice. She's not sure it will last, but she'll see. She can give the girl the benefit of the doubt at the very least.

Soon enough, a teacher comes and gathers all the students. They are divided into three different classes, and Ami murmurs under her breath that at least half of them will drop out before the third year.

"Ne, ne. Are your parents shinobi, Nagisa-chan?" asks Ami, poking her on the side.

She nods. "And yours?"

"Kaa-san is a chuunin," she brags.

She doesn't get to say more. Ami and Nagisa are in different groups, so they'll be taught by different teachers. When Nagisa sees the girl at the end of the day, she is introducing her parents to the friends she seemingly made in her class. When Ami notices her standing by the Academy's doors, she frowns and turns away. The others smirk at her.

Nagisa goes home alone.

Ami never speaks to her again.

***

The first four years at the Academy are spent learning the basics of taijutsu, bukijutsu and the core knowledge of history, geography, language, mathematics and sciences that every aspiring shinobi should know at this age. They are also taught survival skills and chakra manipulation.

Nagisa spends those years shunned by her peers and ignored or scorned by her teachers. Where it made Naruto more determined to slack off and instead chase attention, positive or negative, in a desperate bid to make them look at him, it only makes Nagisa want to excel. She throws herself into her studies and makes sure to be the best at everything they throw at her.

She studies every scroll within reach at the library. At first, the librarians kept turning her away, but it didn't stop her from turning up at the door. She caused a scene every time until the Hokage was forced to get involved. He looked sad and regretful when he observed her, pouting on the library steps as if she didn't plan for him to be called here. She gets a free library card out of it, and stops being harassed in one of the few buildings she must identify herself to enter.

When the Hokage escorts her to his office for their monthly chat, she uses his still lingering pity to ask him.

"Ne, ne, Sandaime-sama?"

"Yes, Nagisa-chan?"

"What happens if I do this?"

She twists her hands in the necessary hand seals to perform the Kage Bunshin. His eyes widen, and he raises a hand to stop her. Nagisa lets herself look sheepish, and rubs the back of her neck.

(She learned the best tricks from Naruto.)

"I'm not gonna add chakra to it, ya know. I wanna know what it does first."

"Where did you learn how to do this?"

"I had a dream about that time I set off a tornado in your office and it made me remember," she lies with a cheerful grin.

"You didn't set off a tornado," sighs the old man. "You were the tornado, Nagisa-chan."

She laughs. "Lies and slander!" she exclaims before looking at him with expectant eyes.

He sighs and explains what the jutsu does. She wheedles at his patience until he lets her try.

Nagisa still doesn't want to like Sarutobi Hiruzen. She knows he could have done more for her, and didn't. She knows he seeks to use her more than he cares about her. He has to; he is the Hokage. She knows all this, but after visiting him every month, she has grown somewhat fond of him. The fact that he's started inviting her out for ramen plays into that too, probably. It's the food of the gods, she's sure of it, and Ayame and Teuchi-san are almost as great as Manami-nee. All in all, the Sandaime could be worse. She doesn't hate him anymore.

She still won't be his weapon though, and he doesn't have her loyalty. Only Manami-nee and the fox in her stomach do.

(The fox still sleeps, most of the time. But sometimes he watches, and he thinks he likes what he sees. The girl has yet to access his chakra, so he will not contact her. Instead he bides his time. She will come to him.)

Because the Hokage knows about the clones, she is able to summon one to study and train at the same time without drawing suspicion. It is a time-saver, and her grades are all the better for it.

It comes at a good time, because the teachers pick up the pace when they turn nine. Like Ami had said, more than half of the students of their year group have dropped out since their first year. There is only one class left out of three.

She has never been in the same class as the clan heirs. They were kept separate, and as such, it is the first time she catches more than a glimpse of Uchiha Sasuke since the Massacre.

It happened two years ago, but Nagisa is still reeling. Naruto knew Sasuke was an orphan, but she only gets an overview of the man's lived experience. She didn't understand the scope of what Sasuke lost until she heard people talking about it.

A whole clan, decimated. Unlike Nagisa who has Manami-nee and Naruto, and who knows other Uzumaki are still out there, Sasuke has no one.

She wonders if he hates the village. She doesn't know what happened in details, but she knows his own brother was involved, and the village did nothing. They were too late.

Just like they were for Uzushio.

She does not attempt to talk to him, or to Haruno Sakura. The latter has been in her class before, but Nagisa has never interacted with her beyond team exercises. Like all of her classmates, they either listen to their parents when they are told to avoid her, or follow their peers in doing so for fear of being ostracised.

Nagisa does not want to antagonise her possible future teammates before they are even pushed together. She will need them for what's to come, and her reputation in the village is already working against her. So instead of talking to them she stays at the front of the class and learns what she can without flinching at the occasional digs made at her. She doesn't have Naruto's prankster's reputation; the only thing the children know of her is that she only cares about training and that some adults call her a demon. It does not inspire trust or camaraderie, but at least she is left alone.

Sometimes she wishes she had her mirror self's personality. But although their souls are one and the same, their hearts beat out of sync.

It does mean that she is better at school than he was. She and Sakura have always been fighting for the top kunoichi spot, and the introduction to kunoichi classes they are given in their fifth year gives her the edge she's needed to beat the pink-haired kunoichi.

She hadn't thought she would be good at it. Nagisa is usually worse than Sakura at anything that requires finesse, whether it is chakra exercises or genjutsu. Since she had no baseline for that class —as Naruto obviously was not a kunoichi— and had a history of struggling in detail work, she had dreaded the first lesson. It turned out she needn't have been worried. Her time spent with Manami-nee served her well, and she is actually much better at it than even Ino, who bragged about her own skills in flower language, disguise, infiltration and seduction theory. Suzume-sensei is begrudgingly impressed.

Nagisa tells all this to Manami-nee, who looks unusually preoccupied as she powders her face.

"What's wrong, nee-san?" she asks her.

"Nagisa-chan." The woman bites her lip, as if she doesn't know how to broach the subject. "You know I've been working here for a long time."

The young girl's eyes are half-closed as she lays on the tatami mats. The inside of Tobiume House is very traditional despite them having glass windows. It is part of the experience. The services they offer are very traditional in nature, even if the workers are much better treated than their caste was historically. It helps that shinobi villages do not relegate the workers of pleasure houses to their own quarters like they do in Irori-kyo, the Capital of Hi no Kuni.

"Uh-huh. You were a kamuro for your okaa-san, then a shinzo, and now you're the oiran of Tobiume House," she sums up, counting on her hands.

"And you know that there are few options for someone like me once I get too old."

Nagisa feels very awake suddenly. She straightens up and stares at Manami. The woman is worrying her lip between her teeth now, hard enough she is close to drawing blood. Dread pools in the kunoichi's gut.

"Are you getting married, Manami-nee?" she says.

Her silence is enough of an answer.

Nagisa feels her hands tremble. For a while, she says nothing. Manami watches her anxiously.

"Is he bringing you home at least?" she whispers.

She will not insult her most precious person by asking if the man she will marry is a good man, or if he will treat her well. It wouldn't matter either way. Manami is right; she is getting older, and soon the proposals will dwindle. The brothel cannot force her to marry, not even to buy back her contract. But when she can no longer bring money for Tobiume House, she will be thrown out and it will leave her without options.

Nagisa almost wants to ask her to leave the brothel and go live with her, but she knows the Sandaime will not allow it. Manami would refuse as well. Nagisa has three years of schooling left, and her stipend is barely enough to feed herself. Her friend would not wish to be a burden on her.

Manami chooses her words carefully. "He is bringing me as close as I can get. Gato-san is the owner of a shipping company, and he is currently based in Nami no Kuni." She pauses and takes a shuddering breath. "I do not want to die without seeing the sea, Nagisa-chan."

A tear falls down the kunoichi's cheek. And another. She only allows herself this for a brief handful of seconds before Nagisa draws herself up and musters up the biggest smile she can manage.

"You'll have to tell me your address, Manami-nee. I'll write you lots of letters, believe it!"

Manami's smile is wobbly as she holds her arms out. Nagisa jumps into her embrace and lets herself be soothed by gentle hands. They stay like this for a long time. Before they separate, Nagisa leans forward and whispers in her ear, "I'll come get you one day, nee-chan. We'll go home together, and I'll be Uzukage. I promise."

Her friend looks disbelieving, but she murmurs back, "I look forward to it."