Timeless

James

It was Regulus' wedding day and although I'd spent all night awake I had never felt more alive. Okay, that's a lie, I'd never felt more alive without Regulus present. And that was the issue we were on our way to solving - him not being present. 

We were going to get him before the wedding and run, whether he wanted or not (probably, if he asked me not to with those beautiful eyes looking all sad I was not sure I'd be able to keep myself in check. If he asked me in a certain way I would give him anything, even if it wasn't good for him), we just needed time to figure out an impossible answer because a couple of days hadn't been enough.

So, here I was, beneath the invisibility cloak with Sirius, Alphard in front of us, knocking on the door of Grimmauld's place. I swallowed. We had every chance of it going horribly wrong and ending up kidnapped ourselves instead, but we hoped it wouldn't come down to that. If it did, Moony would have to get us out, somehow. He would, I trusted him.

When Walburga appeared at the door I felt Sirius flinch next to me, start shaking, I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. 

“Good morning, sister,” Alphard greeted her, his voice strained and forced. He needed his hand to be squeezed too and I wondered what the Black parents had done to their kids, generation after generation, for them to be so afraid of their own family. I don't think I wanted to know the answer to that question though, I was having a hard enough time not murdering Walburga on the spot for what I already knew she'd done to Sirius, my best friend, and Regulus, the love of my life. 

“What are you doing here, Alphard?” she asked, surprise in her voice but not on her face, “Where are Orion and the others?” 

“Why would I know where they are? I'm here to see the woman I'm supposed to marry today, isn't that the plan?”

Walburga's face paled, clearly something with their plan was wrong and Alphard should have made it here alongside Orion and whoever “the others” were. Which indicated they had gone to kidnap him. Well, at least it meant Orion was not in the building and we had one less Black to deal with.

Me and Sirius went to sneak past her as Alphard kept on the conversation, asking if he was not to be married today after all.

“Regina's not here,”

It was the both of us that now flinched under the cloak, looking at each other with horrification. We needed to get to Regulus and fast. They'd either done something horrible to him or he was planning on killing himself off by not showing up at the wedding. Of course that'd give us still some extra time to figure the vow out but if he was the one to make the decision of not marrying then what if…

No.

“Where's his room?” I whispered as we got past Walburga and headed upstairs.

Both of the brother's rooms were on the third floor, both with their doors closed. This was the riskiest part of the plan – if anyone heard, saw or detected in any other way that we opened a door, it'd reveal us. We did so nevertheless and as soon as the door fell closed behind us Sirius slipped out from beneath the cloak.

It was Regulus' room and it was empty. My stomach felt hollow and a I wanted to throw up. Where was he?

“Well, well, well. If it isn't Sirius Black,” Walburga's voice echoed. I swallowed and stared at Sirius' horrified eyes. He'd gotten out of here once, but he'd never told me what it'd cost him and I was not about to let him go through so much that he was not even capable of speaking of it, not for a second time. I wasn't.

“I heard Regina's getting married. Am I not to be at my sister's wedding?” he put on a brave face and I had no clue what he was doing.

Alphard, panting from likely running up the stairs, appeared behind Walburga, making her turn to give him a pointed look. Sirius grabbed the chance to look my way and shake his head ever so slightly. He was saying Walburga thought it was just the two runaway Blacks planning something and it was to stay like this. 

I stared at Alphard, for a moment, him not knowing where I even was, then swallowed and let my hands that had been prepared to lift the cloak drop. Sirius wasn't alone this time. I wouldn't have to reveal myself, not just yet at least.

“So,” Sirius kept his stance, “where is Regina? Already at the Black Manor?”

“Actually, I hoped you'd tell me that,” their cruel mother placed her hands on her hips, “You see, we have not been able to find her since I banished her to the attic around sunrise. She'd gotten her hands on a forbidden book, that ungrateful bitch.”

My fists were curled so tight I felt my nails stabbing my palm. How. Dare she. Storm and lightning were brewing behind both Alphard's and Sirius' eyes as well and I realised neither of them were under the Black influence anymore, and while afraid, they'd never let themselves be pulled under again. They'd make it out just fine. 

Regulus, however, was evidently last seen in the attic, and so that's where I was now headed. 

The attic was cold and dark, obscure sounds making me jump every other moment and I got chills even thinking about Regulus, here, alone, just for reading a book his parents did not approve of. I sighed and slipped my hand out of the cloak to bring some light to the room with my wand. 

The place was a mess, cobwebs and dust, old boxes and broken furniture, all covered in dark grey sheets. Except for the pile of boxes that had a miniature elephant sculptur carefully placed on top of them. The elephant looked eerily like Jaya and I hoped it was Regulus' way of leaving a trail.

I pulled the boxes open, one by one, finding old books and photographs and all sorts of crap, but nothing that hinted at Regulus' touch. When I got to the bottom box, however, after taking out the million wands in there, investigating each before tossing it aside, I found an envelope. One with “James” written over it in the most beautiful cursive handwriting. Regulus' handwriting. I swallowed, terrified of opening it.

James,

I don't know if this letter will ever reach you. I  hope it will not. I hope you will never come looking for me and if you do I will be there myself to send you away because I could never do enough good to earn you, to deserve you, your smiles, your kindness, your.. anything.

If, however, you do end up finding this letter, I fear it means I am gone. I have decided to take a risk and it may go horribly wrong, but with my uncle unwilling to marry me I do not see how I could have lived for much longer anyway. So I've gone to try and go as who I really am. I've gone to find the Crystal Lake from the book Alphard sent me.

I hope that one day you find it in yourself to forgive me, forget me and move on. I hope your real soulmate will come along soon and that you can find happiness with them, whoever they are. You deserve the world and the best I can do for you is to stay as far away from it as possible. 

I've ever only known how to cause pain. When Sirius and I were kids, he'd let himself be punished for my wrongdoings, now you are, in a different way but nevertheless. I should not have let neither you nor myself believe any of this could ever work. I am sorry. 

I will never forget you. 

I love you.

Regulus