Timeless

Regulus

There were two reasons for why I'd gone back to Sirius': firstly, I didn't want to go home and had nowhere else to go, and secondly, I had to find and speak to my betrothed before the wedding and I had a slight hope Sirius might know where to look for him. 

Of course, I was not going to ask about him in a way that'd make my curiosity suspicious, I'd have to be sneaky with it. It wasn't helping that I wasn't willing to explain my disappearance or sudden change back to Regina either. 

I just couldn't go on pretending anymore, I could never actually be Regulus, never live without a dress, and I would not let myself forget that again. I couldn't handle it if I did, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from crossing the lines that would get me killed. And chances are I'd get James hurt in the process. Now, it's not like I cared about anyone, but he'd done so much for me and I just owed it to him to let him go. 

As much as it hurt to admit, my parents had been right, it was dangerous to live, with death hanging over you, and while I could never bring myself to kill James, and technically there wasn't even any way he was my soulmate as I had no ink, so I had no reason to, then I could distance myself from him, never see him again. He didn't need to be my soulmate to be able to threaten my survival, as it turned out all he had to be was so damn charming that I was losing control of myself. That's all it took, evidently. 

And I didn't need to be his intended to bring ruin to him.

I'd tried living. It almost killed me. So now I was gonna have to figure out my wedding and go back to my real life, the one that may have felt like dying but at least it didn't threaten my life, not really, not so imminently. And didn't threaten anyone else's at all.

So, I suggested a game of chess with Sirius and began reminiscing about our childhood, about how our cousins would come over for dinners and sleepovers, how Bella would torture us all for fun sometimes, literally. And I waited for Sirius to bring up uncle Alphard himself so I could hit him with the “Oh, right. It's been so long since I last heard of him, is he still even alive somewhere?” and hope for the best.

It took me three chess games to get Sirius to mention him and bring me the window of opportunity.

“Oh, right, well, he's very much alive, lives in Iceland now. He's got a stellar place there actually, a little house right by the sea, surrounded by mountains. Northern lights in the winter, all the wildflowers during the summer… you should go one day. I'm sure he'd be happy to see you, he always is to see me,”

“Mm,” I wasn't going to say that the news I would be bringing along myself, about his own betrothal I was more and more certain he wasn't even aware of, were likely the last thing that'd bring him happiness. I just hoped the description I had of the place was good enough for me to apparate to a somewhat correct place tonight.

A few minutes later a knock echoed through the house and just like that James had found me again. 

I wanted to disappear, stop existing, fall off a cliff, into the ocean, and dissolve. I couldn't let myself look at him, though I felt him staring at me. I almost felt his shattering heart as if it was in my own chest. 

No, I told myself and tried to focus on something, anything else. Pawns and knights and chess. 

Sirius pushed himself up and went after James, I shouldn't have been worried about him and yet I was. I peeked at them, just for a moment. Then back to the pawns.

As soon as they were out of sight I made my last, checkmate move, pushed myself up, and nearly ran upstairs to the room I'd been assigned when I first got here for the wedding. I had to figure out if and what to pack before leaving. I would be gone as soon as the house fell silent that night. 

I wouldn't survive if I was to stay in the same house as James. Because damn, he was just so-  and I just wanted to- No. 

I had to stop thinking of him like that, I had to stop feeling things.

A few hours later I heard two pairs of steps finally reach Sirius' and Remus' bedroom and with that, I was pretty sure everyone had gone to bed. Finally. I went to pick my bag with just a blanket and few other necessities from under the bed and as I re-emerged with it, there was the subtlest knock on my door. I let out a silent curse, dropped the bag on my bed and opened the door just enough to see who it was.

James' face was suddenly inches from me and I sucked in a breath. Of course it had to be him, couldn't have been just Sirius saying good night or me hearing things. 

“What do you want?” I asked without opening the door any further.

“Regulus,” his voice was so soft, so gentle, it felt like home, a real home, a feeling I had never before even experienced.

“Regina,” I corrected him, trying to push through the pain, “It's Regina.”

“No, Reggie, it's not,”

I closed my eyes, holding back tears, “What do you want?”

“You,” for fucks sake was he trying to kill me? Because I was definitely not breathing and that was suddenly my favourite word in the whole world and I just couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't…

“Well you can't have me,” I tried to push the door back, but he didn't let me. Fucking stubborn asshole.

“Reggie, you promised me two weeks. It has not even been one, so no, you're not pushing me out,”

I wasn't getting rid of him, now was I? I let go of the door with a sigh, throwing my hands in the air and heading for the bag and my wand. I was leaving, he couldn't stop me.

He stepped in and as the realisation of my next wand move reached him he almost plunged across the room, grabbing onto my wand. “The fuck, Regulus?!”

“James, I'm leaving,” 

“No, you're not,”

“Yes, yes I am,” 

He let go of my wand only to grab my hand, “Fine. Then I'm going with you.”

“No, James. Let go of me.”

He shook his head, “Two weeks is two weeks, Reg,”

“For fuck's sake, you don't even know where I'm going,”

“Dirty mouth,” he smirked staring at my lips and I wanted to slap him. What was worse, though, even more, I wanted to kiss him.

“If I was going back home and took you with me my parents would literally murder you,”

“You're not though, now are you?”

I rolled my eyes trying to keep a smile my silly brain had decided was a good idea from forming, “I hate you,”

“No you don't, love,”

I didn't respond. What was one supposed to say after James Potter called them love. I, well, I had another new favourite word. James, you would be the death of me.

“So?” he asked grinning down to me, “Where we going?”

“We're going to go visit my fiance,”