Timeless

Regulus

The potion James gave me worked its magic, in the literal sense, and got rid of my cramps, at least for the time being, but I still didn't really feel like doing anything. I had let myself feel like a man, really feel like one, and this was my body, nature, all the world's forces immediately reminding me that no matter how hard I tried to play one, I wasn't and never would be a guy.

I'd sat half the morning on that, in the tub, watching water wash away the blood my very female uterus was evicting, alongside my tears. I couldn't remember the last time I'd let myself cry. I'd allowed myself hope and that made the heart-shattering reality kicking in that much more agonizing.

And then there was James. Sweet, considerate James. I could not wrap my head around what he was doing, buying me a bagful of chocolates “just to make sure he got my favourite one.” Which he did. And it made me feel warm and precious and it took me a moment to figure out that was what it probably was meant to make me feel. And it was distracting as hell. So now I was wondering what exactly he was trying to keep my focus off of. I mean, nobody would buy someone a bagful of chocolate and take them to see baby elephants just because they're bleeding, now would they? 

As James knocked on the elephant-wizard's door I stood in the driveway and made myself a promise I'd find out his intentions before he would be able to reach his aim, whatever it was. Maybe he was after the Blacks' fortune – making friends with my brother and now me. Maybe he had a bone to pick with my parents.

“Or maybe I have become my parents by thinking this and he just cares for you?” a traitorous little voice kept getting louder within me. 

I was on thin ice. 

And then. Then he was walking back to me from the house with that striking smile all over his face tilting his glasses just the tiniest bit as his right cheek reached higher than his left when he grinned. My heart fluttered and I found myself hoping it was health issues and not something else because I was not allowed to feel that something else. Especially not for him. 

But Merlin did I want to.

Elephants were gigantic, very much the opposite of my knowledge of them. I hadn't even known they were technically magical beings, capable of communication when they aged and all. The babies were still just babies though, even when they were like 3 or 4 times the size of me. 

I watched James call out a name and an elephant about my height came running, he wrapped his hands around its neck and patted it, spoke to it. It was adorable. 

“Regulus,” James' name called for me and I kind of wanted to run to him the same way the elephant had, then have him hug me the same way. I wouldn't though. That. Nope. “Come on, I wanna introduce you to Jaya, she's the little girl I helped deliver. Now she's just over a year old,” she turned back to the calf in a baby voice, “Yes you are, you're one year old already, such a big girl, aren't you? Yes, you are,”

I stepped closer, wary of the big toddler, but James grabbed me by the arm and pulled me close, placing the hand of mine he took on the elephant's face.

“Reg, this is Jaya, she's my favourite little girl in the world,” 

“Hi,” I felt ridiculous speaking to an animal, but Jaya wrapped her trunk around my hand and it almost felt like she was shaking it.

James turned to her, “Jaya. This is Regulus. He's very special to me and I want you to be nice to him, alright?”

Jaya took his turf from my hand and pulled me in by my waist instead, tickling me in the process of the… hug? I laughed. This was absurd. I hugged the animal back though, locking eyes with James who was staring at us in the process. “He's very special to me” he had said and I couldn't help but wonder what exactly it meant. 

We spent the afternoon feeding baby elephants and conversing with the older ones. Yes. Conversing. I hadn't just met a few elephants, James had taught me to communicate with them and time passed so fast we almost didn't notice the setting sun. Or our noisy stomachs. It took an elephant pointing it out for us to realise we should be heading back to the city. 

Now we were walking home from dinner at James' favourite restaurant. I'd let him do the talking, and asked questions here and there, scaring myself by actually being curious of the responses. When that dawned on me I shut up and by the end of the meal we'd settled in a silence not quite awkward, yet still uncomfortable. 

“Okay. We're going in here,” James stopped out of nowhere and grabbed me by my arm, “if I can't get you to speak to me maybe I'll get you to sing,”

“Oh, no way am I going to sing, Potter!”

“Really? Why?”

“I-” am terrified of it? But I'd mindlessly promised not to bow out in fear, “can't sing,” I lied instead. 

“Well, brace yourself buttercup because it's karaoke and that doesn't matter,” he dragged me in for I was out of plausible arguments.