James fell a little bit in love with everybody he met. Some more than others, and some fully rather than a little bit. It had taken him quite some time to come to this conclusion, after many panic sessions where he broke down in the privacy of his bed, the curtains closed and silenced, as if it could silence his inner thoughts along with his shaky breaths, and throat-tearing sobs.
He had first fallen in love with Peter Pettigrew, before he even knew that he was capable of such a thing.
They had been friends for the majority of their life, their parents having been friends since their Hogwarts days. They had been in the midst of an intense game of tag that they were playing with Marlene, one of their other childhood friends. Pete had just managed to duck behind a tree as James flew by it, not quite having full control over his body at that age yet. After James had managed to stop himself from catapulting into the lake (it was a very close call), he had gone back to look for Pete, and just as he was about to tag him, he stopped short.
Because his friend was staring at a bunny with tears in his eyes. When he asked what was wrong, he was immediately shushed, as his voice (he hadn’t gotten the hang of volume control yet either) scared the poor thing. Pete then explained quietly that it seemed as though the bunny was hurt, something with its leg. He then gently picked the small animal up, James staring at him with awe, and brought it into James’ house, where he begged Effie to help the animal. She did the best she could, and she successfully healed its leg.
Pete’s face of pure happiness and relief is what made James love him.
Next was Marlene McKinnon in their second year.
It came time for their first year of trying out for quidditch, and she was one of the two girls that were trying out that year. The other one being Alice Fortescue. The captain, Benjy Fenwick at the time, instantly tried to shoot them down, saying that quidditch wasn’t any place for girls to be. Marlene didn’t take that.
She dug her heels into the ground and stood tall and said that she had been playing since she could walk, that she had just as much of a chance as any of the boys. James had discreetly given her a thumbs up from where he had been standing, to which she just grinned a big cheeky grin at him in return.
She then made Hogwarts history as the first ever girl to play on the Gryffindor quidditch team, especially at such a young age. She fought the rest of that year to be one of the best beaters they’ve ever seen play for Gryffindor on the field.
Marlene’s perseverance and strength to prove others wrong about her is what made James love her.
Next, was Lily Evans in third year.
Now, everybody and their mothers knew that James was absolutely enamoured by the red-headed girl, but none really knew why. She wasn’t the kindest person to him (which he would later realize was part of it) and she really didn’t care about what he thought.
What they didn’t know, was that when they were walking back from one of their first Hogsmeade trips and the magic of being able to leave the school during the year hadn’t quite worn off, James was happily skipping up the steps that moved right to wear the portrait of the fat old lady was hung. He was too caught up in everything he was going to tell his friends that he had accidentally messed up his footing and he slipped and fell, making all of the candy that was hidden deep in the pockets of his robe spill out everywhere.
His face heated with embarrassment as he caught sight of her looking at him, his body awkwardly splayed out on the steps. He scrambled to get up, to deny anything had happened, but Lily simply extended a handout to him, offering her help. He gladly took it quickly and he started to gather his stuff up, Lily helping him. Once everything had been picked up, he thanked her, to which she replied “you’re welcome” almost silently and continued up the stairs as if nothing had even happened.
Lily’s nonchalance when helping him when he was quite obviously embarrassed was what made James love her.
After Lily was Remus.
Remus Lupin, one of James’ best friends. This time, it didn’t end up surprising him. James knew that Remus was a great person, and really, anyone who met him ought to have fallen in love with him. James can pinpoint the exact moment.
In fourth year, they were doing their potions revisions, writing a 15-inch parchment on the effects of moonlight on potions. Now, James rarely didn’t understand his schoolwork. He was a naturally good student, always understanding stuff on the first try, except for potions. Something about it didn’t make sense in his mind (which was weird, considering his family is known for their potion store). And no matter how much he reread his textbook or explained the theory in his head, or even out loud, he could not, for the life of him, get it correct on parchment. This led to him having a bit of a breakdown.
He tended to get overwhelmed by things quite easily, and when he couldn’t do something correctly it got worse. So, when he crumpled his parchment up and threw it, Remus knew something was up. Tears had started to form in James’ eyes, and as soon as Remus saw them, he quietly gathered their things up, and led James to their room. It was a long walk that was all a blur to James, but he was suddenly in their dorm, sitting on his bed with his hands balled up in fists digging into his eyes and then Remus was next to him, pulling his hands away from his face.
He offered to write James’ essay for him, with James just telling him what he wanted to write, because James’ thoughts were coherent, his writing just wasn’t working. Once he had calmed down, he had agreed, and Remus did just as he said he would.
Remus knowing how to calm him down and help him when he was spiralling was what made James love him.
Then it was Sirius.
Sirius came as a bit of a shock to James. They were always inseparable, ever since they became friends at Christmas of first year. Sirius had always referred to him as his brother, and James usually just agreed, but then he fell in love with him.
It was the summer before sixth year, and James knew it was getting particularly bad for Sirius at home. They had talked about Sirius moving in with him before they left Hogwarts for the summer, but James never thought it would get bad enough to make him appear on his doorstep at 2 in the morning one July night. But the thing that surprised James the most? He wasn’t alone.
Sirius had brought Regulus with him.
Sirius had gone back to get Regulus. He explained to the Potters that he was just going to leave without thinking twice about it, but as he was sneaking out his window, he heard a crash. He had originally assumed that his mother was just being a bitch again and was throwing stuff at his door, but after walking for a few minutes it hit him, Regulus was still there, and usually Sirius protected him, so of course, he had to go back.
Sirius had gone back into his abusive household after he had already successfully escaped it, to save his little brother. His little brother, who had been looking worse than Sirius when it came to injuries, who he had always protected and would continue to, even if it meant going back for him.
Sirius’ courage and compassion for his family and seeing it firsthand is what made James love him.
When James was 17, he fell in love with Regulus Black. He could tell that this time it truly meant something. And Regulus loved him too. In the way he loved him. And so, eventually James started acting differently towards his friends. He had always been a very physical person, giving them hugs, kisses on their foreheads and cheeks, even holding their hands. But, once he started dating Regulus, he stopped doing that so much. Not because Reg wanted him to or anything, but because James didn’t feel the need to anymore. And eventually Sirius realized this and asked him about it.
“Hey Prongs?” Sirius said, breaking the comfortable silence that he and his friends were sitting in. He and Peter were playing chess while James and Remus were reading.
“Yeah, Pads?” He replied, looking up at him.
“You’ve been acting differently lately,” he said, choosing his words carefully. James furrowed his eyebrows.
“Have I?” He asked, looking at the other two boys who just nodded, all of them looking at him now. “Oh, well, is it in a bad way?”
“Not in any way really. Not good or bad,” Pete piped up. “You’re just less…” He paused, trying to find the correct way to say it.
“Touchy,” Remus supplied, looking back to his book. James’ face dropped.
“Oh, well, I’m sorry,” he said, which made Sirius shake his head.
“Like Wormy said, it’s not a bad thing, I was just wondering why. Like, did we do something or–”
“No,” James denied, shaking his head vehemently. “I just–” He cut himself off, trying to decide whether or not he wanted to say it.
“You can tell us,” Sirius said.
“Or you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Pete added, shooting a look at Sirius. “Either one. It was just an observation, right Sirius?”
“Right,” he nodded, getting the message. James glanced at Remus who was still just reading his book, smiling like he knew something the other didn’t, which, to be fair, he probably did.
“I’m just,” James paused, taking a deep breath. “I’m not in love with you all anymore. That’s it.” The room was dead silent, with Sirius and Peter just staring at him, both of their mouths hanging open, and Remus was just nodding, as if it made perfect sense.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought it was,” Remus said to him quietly, just so he could hear it. “I just didn’t know if you’d mind me saying something to them about it, because they've been worried for a while.” James just smiled at him.
“I didn’t know you were ever in love with me,” Sirius said stupidly, making James laugh and Remus snort into his hand.
“I fall in love with everyone, don’t take it personally,” he replied, making Sirius and Pete snap out of it and gawk in offence.
“So, who are you in love with so much it made you stop being in love with all of us?” Remus asked, smirking like he already knew the answer. James quickly glanced to see Sirius’ face which made Remus nod. “That’s what I thought.”
“Wait, I’m confused, who?” Sirius asked, confused.
James fell in love with Regulus for numerous reasons. He cared so much about any animal that was alive, he was fiercely and unabashedly himself (maybe in a quieter sense than others), he was quiet with his help to James when he knew it embarrassed him, he knew how to calm him down when he was spiralling, he loved and cared so much for Sirius, but most of all, he was just a great person. He was letting James decide when to tell Sirius, since he was so scared of his reaction. So, using critical thinking (something Regulus often said he should do more of) he decided to tell them now.
“Your brother,” he said, smiling softly. Sirius’ eyes widened.
“My brother?”
“Your brother,” he nodded.
“My brother,” Sirius repeated in a disgusted tone. “You’re in love with my fucking brother.”
“I’m sorry?” James tried, but Sirius didn’t seem to hear him over his babbling.
“Did you hear that Wormy? My brother is in love with my other brother. That has to be some type of incest, right? Like–”
“Wouldn’t be the first time something like that happened in your family,” Remus commented, snorting.
“Moons makes a point,” Pete admitted, which made James snort.
“Oi, you better fuck off,” Sirius warned James. “They can laugh, but you're the one in love with my brother, you’re on thin fucking ice.”