Harry trusts Dumbledore with his life, so when he finds himself in the professor’s office one night after dinner being shown what a horcrux is, he doesn’t question the old man. Dumbledore explains that Tom Riddle, now known as Lord Voldemort, has created multiple dark objects containing his soul, so that he could remain immortal.
“So, we have to destroy them all in order to kill him?” Harry asks tentatively.
“Yes.” Professor Dumbledore says a matter of factly. “And I know where we can find one.”
Harry looks at him quizzically. Dumbledore stands from behind his desk without another word and strides toward the door. Harry has to practically jog to keep up with the old man. He is quite mobile despite his age. How old was he anyway? 100? 150?
Harry follows his mentor up the stairs to the Astronomy Tower where Dumbledore stops at the railing, looking out over the Black Lake. He raises his right elbow out to Harry and waits.
After a long moment’s pause, Dumbledore encourages him to take his arm and they are whisked away from the castle by the sharp pull of apparition.
—-------
He feels someone land on the cliff side before he ever sees anyone enter the cavernous room. The wards protecting the cave are so strong that they shook the walls, like they were startled by the presence of the outsider, dropping small stones from the ceiling above. He wouldn’t blame them, only a few ever dared to learn about what lies within these damp stone walls, let alone try and visit its resting place.
He was among the few that dared.
Regulus Arcturus Black.
R.A.B.
The youngest to ever take on the Dark Mark at the ripe age of sixteen, Regulus joined the ranks of the sadistic mad man by the forceful hand of his mother. Once his fate was sealed, he decided to try and take down the regime from the inside.
Regulus spent hours, days, even weeks in the library at Grimmauld Place searching for answers on how to destroy the snake-like man they all called the Dark Lord. On a particularly peaceful night over the Christmas holiday of his sixth year, Regulus overheard a very private conversation between the Dark Lord himself and his ever present snake, Nagini.
“You, my precious girl, will be the last piece of my puzzle. The final nail in my coffin. My final horcrux.”
The Dark Lord continued speaking, only now it was in a language that Regulus didn’t understand. Parseltongue, he guessed. Of course, the snake man would be able to speak the language of the serpent.
Regulus’ mind was spinning with the new information. A Horcrux. One of a few from the sounds of it. He raced to the family library and summoned Kreacher, the house elf that served the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black, and told him the news.
Even now in his present state, Regulus remembers the bond he and Kreacher shared fondly. How the elf truly became more of a trusted friend than a servant. In the end, it was Kreacher who accompanied him to his grave and made a promise to do whatever it takes to defeat the Dark Lord.
After months of research and sleepless nights, Regulus finally had enough information to locate the locket and try and destroy it. What he didn’t anticipate was the trials that awaited him to gain access to what he desired. The trials that await the poor fool that has now slit his hand open with a knife and smeared his blood across the wall to gain entry to their grave.
Looking up from the bottom of the lake through the muddy water, Regulus, now more creature than man, sees a young boy and an old man summon the decaying boat to the surface. The movement ripples through the water, stirring the others.
Turn back now, you idiots.
He watches them take the same trip across the dark waters to the small island in the center of the room, where beautiful amethyst crystals grow around an enchanted bowl.
Regulus dares to swim closer to get a better look. When he makes it to the slope that ascends up to the shore line, he stops. He cranes his neck closer to the surface and sees him. Him.
If there was any feeling left in this skeletal body, he would have felt the heat drain from him leaving him cold and pale. A face that he thought he would never see again stands mere meters from him now on the same shore that took him from this world years before.
James.
His big brother’s best friend.
His first and only love.
His soulmate.
His sun.
James has come for him.
He never meant to fall in love with James Potter, but after that first kiss during his sixth year, he dove in head first to the possibility.
He used to follow his older brother Sirius and his friends–James, Remus, and Peter–around the halls of Hogwarts during his first year. He would watch them plan and execute their pranks with precision, and claim themselves as the Marauders.
Regulus always longed to be a part of their little group, but Sirius never wanted to include him. James, on the other hand, would always make sure that he felt acknowledged. When Sirius was being a jerk, James would send him apologetic smirks and say, “Next time, Reg, promise.” And James always kept his promises.
The longing to be included slowly morphed into a longing for James’ attention. He didn’t want to spend time with the marauders, he just wanted to spend time with James. And every little glance, smirk, and touch from the older boy only encouraged Regulus’ affections further.
During his sixth year, Regulus finally got up the courage to tell James how he really felt. He found him in his favorite spot in the back of the library and sputtered something about feelings and loving him despite him being an idiodic gryffindor and friends with his brother. Before he got all of the words off his tongue, James had him pressed up against a stack of books and was pressing his lips to his.
After that, there was no more pretending. They would sneak around under the cloak at night and meet up in abandoned classrooms. Throughout the day, they would steal kisses and small touches. Everything was perfect and no one suspected a thing. That was until Remus caught them one night snogging in a darkened hallway near the dungeons and threatened to tell Sirius if they didn’t come clean themselves.
They were going to tell everyone in their own time, but things changed rather quickly when they returned from the Christmas holidays.
Regulus found James in their favorite hiding spot on the seventh floor. James was already waiting for him to arrive and when he saw him his face broke into the most genuine full-toothed smile that Regulus had ever seen.
Regulus’ heart started to crack. He knew he was about to be the reason that he would never see that smile again.
“Hi, my star, I missed you,” James said sweetly while pulling Regulus into the alcove with him. He kissed him gently and Regulus fought back the tears that were already threatening to break free.
When the two broke apart, James looked over Regulus’ face and concern furrowed his brows. James was always able to read Regulus like an open book.
“What’s the matter?” He asked, stroking his hands down the sides of Regulus’ arms and holding his hands.
Regulus looked down at their entwined fingers and took a deep breath. “Reg?” James asked again.
Regulus swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke to the floor, “I have a confession to make.” He could hear James’ breath change and he could feel his pulse start to race through their connected hands. “Something really bad happened at home over the hols, James.”
James squeezed his hands tighter in reassurance. “What happened? Was it your mother?” His voice remained calm but there was venom in his words. He knew about his mother’s abuse, mostly from Sirius’ retellings, but also from his own. He had tried to get him out of the house and move into Potter Manor many times before but Regulus also told him that there was no use and to just drop the subject.
“In a sense, yes. It was my mother.”
There was a long pause. “You can tell me. You know you can tell me anything.”
Regulus forced himself to meet James’ gaze, squared his shoulders and took another deep breath. “We had an unexpected dinner guest one night and my mother was more than happy to accommodate him in whatever he needed. What I didn’t realize is that…” Regulus swallowed but his throat was so dry. “...he was there to recruit people to join his cause. Me, specifically.”
He searched James’ face to see if he understood what he couldn’t say out right. James just looked back at him with a blank stare. “Who was it, Reg?”
He couldn’t say his new master’s name, he could barely look in James’ eyes, but he had to do both.
“Lord Voldemort.”
He only whispered it but the sound was deafening in the quiet alcove.
James leaned back on his heels and took in a sharp breath. “Regulus, did he- are you-”
Regulus responded by releasing his grip on James and rolling up his left sleeve to reveal the skull and snake tattoo that now branded him for the rest of his life.
James fell back into the wall behind him and covered his mouth with his hand. Tears were streaming steadily from his big brown eyes as he stared at Regulus in disbelief.
“You’re a- a-” James stammered
“A Death Eater.” Regulus finished for him, his own tears now breaking through the barrier and streaming down his cheeks and splashing on his dragon hide boots.
There was silence for a minute or two while the two boys were processing this information and what it meant for their relationship.
Regulus felt like he was suffocating in the silence. He knew that this was going to end as soon as he told James about the mark. He just wanted it to be done with it and go back to his dorm to wallow for a while.
He cleared his throat and took a step backward to leave the alcove. “Well, I guess-” Regulus started to say, but he was cut off by James’ hands grabbing either side of his face.
“We are going to fix this!” James practically shouted. “I am- We are going to do something! I promise I will help you get out of this, Reg. This isn’t what you want, I can see it in your eyes. You don’t believe in all that bull shit about muggleborns. You are a good and kind heart that was born into a nasty family. I can help you, we just need a plan. We can even get Sirius to help and Moony…”
James was still stuttering about a plan while Regulus was crying. He would have never guessed that James would be so accepting, so willing to help him through this. He would have put a hundred galleons on him leaving in horror and never speaking to him again. But here he was, his sun, showing him that light will always win.
“I love you.”
James finally stopped his ramblings and looked at Regulus, really looked at him. His hands were still holding Regulus’ face, so he just pulled him closer and placed his forehead against his own.
“I love you more than anything in this world, Reg. We are going to figure this out, I promise.”
And James always kept his promises.
—-
The rest of the semester James was obsessed with learning how to remove enchanted tattoos like the Dark Mark to the point that all of his friends were starting to worry. Regulus would stay with him in the library, but only to keep him company. Regulus knew that there was nothing to do to remove the tattoo, but this research effort gave James something to focus on while Regulus worked on his own plan.
He had done weeks of research with Kreacher in the Grimmauld library and had formulated a plan to hunt down one of the Dark Lord’s horcruxes. He didn’t want to involve James because he knew that he would try and change his mind, but Regulus was determined to prove that he was more than his family, more than this Dark Mark and, most importantly, that he was a good man deserving of James’ love.
They had finally told Sirius about their relationship and they were all back on speaking terms, so when Regulus decided that he would be traveling to the cave with Kreacher, he didn’t tell anyone. He knew that James would try and stop him and Sirius would follow after. He didn’t want to risk either of their lives. He could do this. And he would do this on his own.
It was the very first night of the summer holiday and Regulus made his way down the stairs at Grimmauld Place. He passed the parlor where his mother and father sat in silence while drinking a glass of whiskey. He watched them for a minute and allowed the rage to consume him. He was doing the right thing, he was going to end this bloody war before it started.
Regulus called out to Kreacher and exited through the front door. No one stopped him. No one asked where he was going or when he would be back. No one cared. No one except for James, who was blissfully unaware of his boyfriend’s plans while celebrating his graduation from Hogwarts with Sirius, Remus, and Peter at Potter Manor.
Regulus stood on the front step of the house and thought about how James had asked him to join them at the Manor for the summer. He declined under the notion that his mother would hunt him down anyway and it's just better if he headed home. He didn’t think about how that might have been the last time he would ever see James or his brother.
This moment was the last time Regulus would be at Grimmauld Place. It was the last time that he would ever step foot outside of the cave. He and Kreacher apparated from the street to the massive rock protruding from the ocean about a mile from the cave’s mouth.
—
Regulus now watches as James and the old man make their way up the rocks to the enchanted bowl, and he fights against the urge to climb from the water and stop them. He knows that Kreacher took the real locket away to destroy it. He knows that this is a pointless endeavor that will only get them killed.
Regulus stops to think. Maybe that would be okay. Maybe he and James can finally reunite, here and now.
He climbs further up the slope into shallow water to get a better view of the two wizards. He sees the old man explaining what the boy must do. He must drink every last drop of the potion even when it becomes unbearable to keep going, you must drink in order to retrieve what is hidden within.
Yes. Drink, James. Drink and join me in eternity.
The boy begins to scoop a shell full of liquid and tentatively takes a sip. He immediately groans in pain and falls to the ground. The old man props him up on the side of the rock and continues to force the liquid down his throat.
Regulus can tell that the boy is starting to feel the effects of the potion and decides that this is the time to make his move.
He moves around the side of the island, never taking his eyes off of his beloved. Perching under a rock hidden from sight, he breaks through the surface of the water and speaks softly.
“Take a swim in the water,” he whispers in a sing-song voice. “Come take a swim in the water with me.”
He wants to see the boy’s reaction but he can’t tell if he even heard him. Regulus waits until the old man moves back to the bowl for another dose of the potion before trying again, this time louder.
“Take a swim in the water. Come take a swim in the water, my dear, James Fleamont Potter.”
This time the boy’s head lulls to the side as if trying to listen intently, so Regulus continues his song until the boy rolls to the side and moves to stand. He stumbles at first but makes the few steps needed to reach the shore line.
He gets down on his hands and knees trying to look through the dark water to see what lies beneath.
Regulus dives underneath the water and meets his beloved’s face mere inches away through dirty water for the first time in years. Regulus takes in each feature, the messy black hair, his pink pouty lips, and the round spectacles that frame his unfamiliar green eyes. Regulus pushes the thought of the boy’s eyes out of his mind. Now he is desperate to reach out and touch him, to make sure he is his James. He allows his boney hand to reach through to the surface, an offering for the boy to join him.
“Take a swim in the water,” Regulus continues to sing.
The boy reaches out and brushes his fingers against the proffered hand. He shivers but doesn’t retreat. Regulus smiles. It really is him, James never shied away from him, even now.
When they finally clasp hands, Regulus wastes no time by pulling the boy down into the water with him.
Welcome home, my sun. I’ve missed you.
Regulus swims down to the bottom of the lake, dragging the thrashing boy along behind him. The others have woken now and have come to take from the feast that Regulus has brought them.
Hundreds of boney hands start pulling and grabbing at the boy.
“He’s mine!” Regulus tries to yell but only bubbles escape around him in the water, no sound. He grabs on tighter to his love as he continues to thrash and kick at the others.
It's alright, my love. It will all be over soon. Then we will finally be together forever.
Just as the boy’s body starts to go limp in his arms, Regulus looks up to find the most blinding light he has ever seen. It breaks through the cold water with the heat of the strongest hell fires, forcing all of the others to retreat.
Regulus holds on tight and uses the boy as a shield from the heat, but it is unbearable to his cold and wet corpse-like skin. The light continues to burn around him and the boy until he is unable to hold on any longer.
He lets go of the boy’s limp body and retreats to the darker depths of the lake away from the heat and the light. He feels magic rippling through the water and turns to watch as the boy’s body is magically summoned to the surface and a hole inside him breaks open.
He’s lost him.
Again.
His sun. His life. His love.
He was taken from him again.
Regulus sinks into the sand beneath him and lets the weight of his loss weigh him down like an anchor. For all this time he has held on to the hope of being rescued, of being reunited with James, and even Sirius, but now that has been ripped away from him.
There is no escaping this place. He has become one of them. There is no reason to continue to fight to hold onto his sanity. He lets the grief wash over him and let’s go, finally becoming nothing more than an animated corpse destined to haunt these waters for the rest of eternity.
In these final moments, he watches as the boat drifts back toward the entrance of the cave. The doorway to the outside world where his love will live out his days without him. At least this time he gets to say goodbye.
Goodbye, my love. Tell Sirius that I’m sorry.
After one last breath, Regulus’ mind and soul drift away and he is left with nothing but a cold emptiness, just like the rest of them.