Chapter 11
Draco had fallen asleep, using me as the bed, not that I minded; not really. His head was pillowed on his hand, resting on the juncture between my shoulder and chest, one hand splayed flat on my sternum fingers still and pale against my golden skin. He had a leg thrown haphazardly over my hips, actually it was almost like he was trying to crawl on me. It was sweet in a totally confusing way. He'd watched me kill people, watched the way I laughed as I did it and yet slept so soundly on me that if i couldn't hear his heart beating. If i couldn't feel the movement of his chest rising and falling he could be dead. It was a bit of a headfuck if I'm honest, I mean I never really was comforting or that people wanted to be around me for any reason other than my fame. So him being asleep on me, after knowing my condition, after knowing I am a danger to him… It's sort of confusing I guess? Ron would haveva fucking feild day if he knew. He always did say that I had a secret crush on Draco Malfoy, right from the very beginning.
I was awake, unable to still my mind, fingers tracing the pattern of his skin on his shoulder on a loop. My eyes staring up at the dark canopy above my bed hearing the same thoughts on a loop circle my brain. That one word that could change more than it knew floating to the forefront every few minutes. The blood from earlier, from the bodies I had turned to ash, human lives I had snuffed out, was still covering a portion of my skin. Flaking in places onto everything around me, streaks of it marred Dracos perfect pale skin too. The soft sounds of his breathing, the slower beat of his heart, it was calming. Odd considering that any other time it would have nearly sent me into a fucking frenzy. There was a reason after all as to why I didn't snuggle with people, why I kicked them out of my apartments faster than they came. Pun intended.
I let my mind wander in the little piece of calm that had carved itself from this world, pondered really how all of this came about in the first place. I knew that wizardkind were rumored to have soulmates, someone who was your perfect match in every way… is that what was happening? It makes a strange kind of sense if that is the case really. Obsessed with each other since childhood, the burning pull to be around the other, the never ending need to push buttons, to get their attention in any way. But I'm not technically part of wizard kind anymore, would those rules still apply to me? Wasn't there an old wives tale about it? I'm sure I'd read it somewhere at some time.
Fuck knows, I'd have to go searching through the library, which meant having an awkward and painful conversation with the relatives I'd shoved in there. I knew Poppy talked to them, read to them, but all it does is serve to remind me what I don't have. I sighed and shifted slightly, Malfoy moved too, further onto me, he was wriggling now, grasping for purchase where there wasn't any. A tiny noise escaped from the back of his throat, almost a sound of disappointment and well honestly… I couldn't have that, especially considering the events of the last 4 hours or so. Gently I wrapped my arm further around him, dipping so my hand was resting in the curve of his waist and slowly I maneuvered him. Moved him so that he lay on me completely, legs bracketing mine, head still pillowed on his hand but firmly in the centre of my chest. The hand that had been splayed over my sternum was now twisting the delicate fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck. He made a soft sound, akin to a sigh of contentment, and went back to resting like the dead. I let my hands drift to the centre of his back, let them rest there, holding him.
I resigned myself to being a bed for the time-being, resigned to being unable to move even an inch. Draco may as well have been a cat curled asleep in my lap for the amount of willingness there was to move away. By that I do mean there was none. No will to move at all, or to let him move away, roll to the other side of the bed. I closed my eyes and let out a breath. I must have nodded off, lulled to sleep by the sound of his soft breathing, the feel of his heart beating above mine. Especially considering the next thing I knew I was opening my eyes to the warm rays of sunlight filtering in through the open window, the soft sound of birds chirping in the distance and the gentle tracing of malfoys fingers over my chest. He hadn't moved his head off his hand or even off me really, the hand that had tangled in my hair was now moving in slow, feather light movements. It was distracting and sort of tickling but what snagged my attention the most was the contrast. Pale unblemished digits attached to a slender unblemished hand, so pale I could see the veins under the skin, see the movement of each tendon as it strained under the movement. Pale against tan, against the brown skin he was lay on. It was pretty, the contrast, like the sun against the moon, gold against silver. It was only then that I noticed he was murmuring something, softly in a language I didn't quite understand.
“Je ne suis pas encore convaincu que je ne rêve pas, pas convaincu que ce n'est pas un de mes rêveries où vous réalisez enfin ce que je sais depuis des années. Pas convaincu que je ne vais pas soudainement me réveiller et être transporté à une époque où vous me méprisiez.
Vous et moi sommes écrits dans des étoiles lointaines, une histoire d'amour des âges, deux ennemis qui n'étaient pas vraiment des ennemis du tout. Deux garçons qui, contre toute attente, ont réussi à se retrouver.
Alors maintenant vous connaissez mon secret le plus profond - que j'ai désiré pour vous, désiré pour vous pour beaucoup plus longtemps que même je me soucie d'admettre. Depuis que mon père m'a raconté les histoires d'un garçon aux cheveux de corbeau et aux yeux comme le printemps qui a vaincu le Seigneur des Ténèbres. Depuis avant que tu refuses de me serrer la main, ou avant même que je sache vraiment à quoi tu ressemblais à autre que des cheveux noirs, des yeux brillants et une cicatrice de malédiction comme un éclair.”
I guessed it was French, the blacks did like to speak it, I remember Sirius telling me once how French was his mother tongue. I imagine that it was Narcissa’s too once, I could almost picture it, the elegant and frail Narcissa sitting with a small boy on her lap. Whispering in French, telling fairy tales and stories and singing songs. I could picture her so perfectly, even now. She was the sole reason I survived in that forest, I'd never admit it but I admired her. Admired that motherly instinct to protect a boy the same age as her son, knowing if she was discovered she would die. I admired how she appeared frail, scared and breakable but beating within her was the heart of a lioness. Well that and the fact she had a mean streak a mile long and the uncanny ability to weave something nasty into the curses she threw. I saw her running for her son that day, I saw the kind of magic she flung at friend and foe. Narcissa was terrifying in the most unexpected way.
I smiled, not a sharp thing or a menacing thing but something soft and sweet and that only a mate could drag out of this cursed thing that I am. I brushed my hand over his hair, moving the pale strands back from his face.
“What did you say?” I murmured
“My deepest secret” His face turned up to me, his expression was warm and open.
“and what's that?” I brushed my finger over his cheekbone
“Wouldn't you like to know?” He smiled at me, bright and real and brilliant. My brain short circuited. He'd never smiled at me like that before, actually I'm not sure I'd ever seen him smile like that at all before. Not even back in Hogwarts at one of his friends. It was contagious. It made you want to smile back in the same way, without restraint and without thinking I smiled right back at him, warm and wide. His smile dropped.
“What happened?” I searched his eyes
“I just… I've never seen you smile like that, and I've definitely never seen those fangs” I dropped my smile
“Oh I'm sorry, do the fangs make you uncomfortable?”
“No. Definitely don't make me uncomfortable” his eyes darkened slightly, a finger wriggled its way to poke at my lip. Lifting the top lip to expose the elongated fang sitting where a human canine used to be. I laughed, just once, and then willingly revealed them both. Draco's eyes went wide, pupils blown as he prodded the tip of the left one with the pad of index finger. He hissed as it pricked the soft flesh, the scent hit me almost immediately, my mouth watered.
I chased Draco's finger as he pulled it away and shoved it into his own mouth. The other hand moved to gently prod at the still puckered and red puncture marks on his throat. His eyes fluttered shut on a soft intake of breath as he realised the marks were the kind of sore that set your blood alight. Painful but also pleasurable. He dropped his hand back onto my chest with an audible thwack.
“They're sharp as hell, how the fuck dont you constantly pierce your own tongue?” he asked
“Believe me I did more often than I didn't to begin with. Once I was aware of them especially, it was like I couldn't unnotice them. They took some time to get used too, but I sort of forget about them now. I remember the first time I saw them though, freaked me out something rotten.” I ran my tongue over the one Draco had touched the taste of his blood clung to the fang. Reigniting a spark with me, setting my throat into a low burn, one easily ignored. Draco tracked the movement with those grey eyes that reminded me so much of liquid mercury. I traced my thumb across his lower lip, tugging on it gently, revealing the briefest flash of bright white teeth.
“I rang Hermione at god knows what time in the morning, screaming.” I chuckled
“Why were you screaming?”
“Well, I'd woken up earlier than usual and opened the curtains. Set my damned hand on fire, scared the crap out of me, we'd been out drinking the night before, so you can imagine the hangover. I rang Hermione before I'd even really managed to get any clothes on. She was so mad, well until I showed her my hand in the sunlight” I shook my head.
“She knew?”
“We both did, I just didn't want to think about it. But only one thing burns in contact with sunlight”
“But you were in sunlight yesterday?”
I lifted my left hand up, black signet ring glinting in the sunlight.
“Enchanted jewellery, I have a couple of pieces and the houses are all enchanted. This one, grimmauld place, the black coastal home, my apartment building in London. All of them. Took us days to do them all”
Draco's eyes tracked the ring.
“I wondered what happened to the black vaults” he murmured.
“Sirius left everything to me, every damn knut. He did some stupid blood ritual to adopt me, so the vaults and the properties and the stupid well everything would accept me. I got it all, and then I found out that the Potter family was rich too, the account I had at gringotts was just a trust fund, that the real stuff, the housing and antiques and the other money appeared on my birthday. It was a nightmare of paperwork”
I twisted my hand in the light and caught the sun on the ring, it was about then that I noticed the russet streaks, flaking off onto the bedding, onto Draco, onto other parts of me. Like a predator he tracked what I was looking at, at the blood on my hand with mischief playing in his eyes.
“Listen as fit as you look covered in blood. You should probably go wash it off before anyone else manages to spot you” He quirked one perfect eyebrow and I nodded. He rolled off me, propped himself on one arm and looked pointedly at door in the corner.
“Fine” I smiled and shook my head, and stood, allowing the sheets to drop off me onto the bed. As naked as the day I was born I spun round to face Draco.
“You should shower too, the blood got on you”
“Yeah well that happens when you kill thirteen people and then maul me”
“Last I checked Draco -” I drew his name out, long and low “You were begging me to maul you” I winked
“Last I checked you ripped someone's head off with your bare hands to rescue me from some ruffians” The sheets had pooled in Draco's lap as he sat up.
“Yeah well that's my fault. I shouldn't have left you sitting pretty at the bar”
“Sitting pretty? Didn't fancy you for flattery Harry”
“Yeah well it's hardly flattery when it's the obvious truth” I rolled my shoulders and took a singular step back. Draco leaned forward, unbothered, his gaze darting between my eyes, lips and hard cock. I could see the cogs turning in his brain, see the decision as he made it to stand and drop the sheets onto the bed.
“Harry” His voice was rough, raspy even as he walked towards me.
“I thought you wanted me to shower?” I darted a glance at the bathroom
“Oh sweet vampire that's exactly where we're going” I laughed then, open and loud, a full bellied laugh, one that I hadn't done in a very long time. Dracos expression flickered, and something I couldn't name shot across his features. His heart rate increased, his breathing stuttered and his eyes suddenly filled with tears?
“Woah, woah… Draco” I shot forward, hands coming to gently cradle his face. “What's wrong? what did I do?”
“Your laugh” He managed to choke out voice thick and wavering.
“What about my laugh? Did it upset you? Did I frighten you?”
“You're such a prat” He scoffed but there was a tear tracking down his cheek as he forced the words out around them. I cocked my head to one side and waited, waited for him to inevitably tell me why he was suddenly stood naked in front of me, crying. He sighed
“I've heard you laugh like that before. You used to laugh like that alot in school, when we were younger. It was always at a Weasley or Granger or even Luna sometimes. I never thought you'd laugh like that for me” His voice trailed off
“So you're upset because I used to laugh?” I was Confused
“No you idiot, I'm not upset, I actually think I'm sort of happy… Standing here, with you, with you laughing open and full…” I tilted my head again. I'm gonna get a damn crick in my neck.
Draco sighed, an exasperated sigh at that.
“You stopped laughing in 5th year. You came back from the department of mysteries. Don't look at me like that my father was there afterall. You came back and you didn't laugh anymore, you rarely even smiled and if you did it always looked fake, or forced.”
“I think your dad tried to help me that day…” I mumbled, but Draco shook his head
“Don't change the subject Harry. You might have been watching me all sixth year, but I was watching you right back. You didn't laugh or smile or joke, you barely even argued with me. The last time I heard you laugh like that was at the twins after you'd been in the great lake. To hear you laughing, to hear that laugh especially and know it's because I caused it… Well it almost feels like I've managed to get everything I ever wanted”
I was staring at him now, I could see my face in the reflection of his pupils, see how shellshocked my expression was. I tilted his head up with my hands, still cradling him and pressed my lips gently to his.
“Do you want to know why I stopped laughing?” I whispered “I've never told anyone, but I think I can tell you”