Chapter 2
I woke to the sun shining on my face, thank god for Hermione enchanting the entire building, thank god for her enchanting the black family ring on my hand, or I’d be barbeque. I groaned, my phone was beeping again. As I said, I’d changed since becoming a vampire, at one time i was content to just exist in society, the issue with vampirism is boredom. It gives you a certain type of drive to do something, to become or create something, it’s the kind of urge I can’t ignore considering I deny the instinct to tear into peoples throats and gorge on their blood. That's how I ended up owning the building I live in, It’s how I ended up owning a large tech company, it’s the reason I had to expand my Gringotts vault. I kept most of my earnings in a muggle bank account, but most doesn’t mean all and well I’m not even sure that the Malfoy vaults would compare to mine. It was easy, the mundane stuff like work and earning, simple. It was easy enough to go out and buy high rise buildings and rent out all the rooms, easy money, easy pickings if the need was high enough. I checked my phone, it was just messages about meetings that I wouldn’t be attending, not that anyone expected me too. Afterall I was the elusive, introverted owner and it had to be something profound for me to make an appearance.
Coffee, I needed coffee before I became haunted, the kitchen was spacious, I had a coffee machine on the counter, it had all the things any human would need. A fridge, a stove, laundry facilities, the issue is I'm not a human and I don't really require any of these things. Sure I wash my clothing, and I make coffee and sometimes there’s something in the fridge. Usually if Ron or Hermione are coming over considering I can't actually consume much anymore. Rum, Coffee, Water and Blood. That’s pretty much all I can stomach, I can smoke, I can get as many drugs I want into my system but none have the same effect as blood. The coffee brewed slowly, too slowly, my mind wandered, how different would my life have been if I hadn’t been touched by fate. I was opening cupboards out of boredom, there’s fuck all in them like always, I don’t know why I bother to look. I unlocked my phone, literally less than a minute has passed, the fuck it felt like 10, I could ring Ron and Hermione… Shit no i can’t Hermione has work, Ron too and it’s boring being an adult.
At long last, the coffee was done, I poured it into a mug, Black, like my forsaken soul and drank it still piping hot. It’s boring being rich. Boring having this drive to do things while simultaneously not wanting to fucking do anything remotely like working. I flopped myself onto the couch.
“I need to make some rich friends that do fuck all, all day like me” I grumbled out loud, essentially to the walls considering everyone was in work and I was sat on the couch. I debated on going outside, doing some shopping or well anything that didn’t mean having to sit in and do literally nothing, but that meant putting on actual clothes.
Fuck it
I shot up and went to get dressed, Jeans, a t-shirt, converse, black hoodie, it’ll do. I'll go to Tesco I decided and walk around London, literally anything that isn’t staring at the wall and debating my choices. Maybe I’ll walk to Grimmauld place and scream at the portrait of Walburga black for a while, at least that would be entertaining.
One of the problems with Vampirism is the constant need to do and be doing, to be moving, to be creating or destroying something, when I have nothing to do it makes me sort of murderous and lord knows I've been trying to not be a serial killer but needs must really. Vampirism and boredom don’t coexist very well. I opened the door to my penthouse and stalked to the lift, someone it smells like has moved into the other penthouse, my next door neighbour as it happens. I could smell their skin from the hallway, apples and coffee and something else that was causing my mouth to water. I stepped into the lift and hit the ground floor button, as the doors slid shut I saw the door open, a tuft of black hair and this strange feeling that I know exactly who it is without actually seeing their face. I shook my head as I exited the building, the air was chilly, usual weather for the UK really, it’s one of the reasons that I kind of like it here. The weather is moody, prone to raining for no good reason, the cool air would have blown clean through me if i was a human. One of the lovely things about being a vampire is that coldness doesn’t bother me really, as a member of the undead my temperature is always low. I get some weird looks when it’s warm and I'm wearing a hoodie though I won't lie. Today at least the sky was bright but the air was bitter cold. As I walked to the Tesco, I could smell the humans, the blood pounding through their veins, the way they moved away from me as if sensing that something wasn’t quite right. Tesco came into view, bright and blue and bustling with people. Shit. I don’t do well in crowds if I have no distraction, the scents, the noise it becomes a crescendo in my head, one that resisting is almost impossible. I gritted my teeth, I wasn't about to look like a fucking idiot just walking to Tesco to not actually go into the store, walking myself like a dog through the streets. I entered, grabbed a basket and in an effort to look as normal as physically possible I set a leisurely stroll around the damn store filled with what my mind was essentially informing me was food.
It was hell, absolute hell, to hear the lub dub, lub dub of their hearts, to smell the perfume of their blood as they meander around. I could see it, rushing through their veins, pulsing and thrumming under the skin. It was hell. I grabbed the coffee, a bottle or two of rum, paid for my stuff and then made my way to the counter for cigarettes. Bad habit I’d picked up a few years back, not like any habit could kill me now save for a stake through the chest. Turns out most of the things we think we know about vampires are wrong, all the old tales are basically just a pile of shit.
Silver? Looks lovely but ultimately does shit all, Garlic? My favourite, it doesn’t harm me though even if i can’t stomach it anymore really. Daylight does set us aflame, and a stake will kill me but really who wouldn’t a stake through the heart kill if you actually think about it. Magic can harm us but it’s minor, we heal faster than even werewolves do and they heal pretty damn fast, the killing curse can’t work, even if cast correctly and a direct hit but that’s the thing about being a vampire, you come to learn things you wouldn’t have dreamed of as a human. The killing curse specifically detaches the soul from the body, most things can’t tolerate it, can’t bare to be without the soul they are so infatuated with in mortal stories. Yet for vampires we are already dead and reanimated, our souls are gone, you can’t kill someone who’s soul ceases to exist anywhere except the depths of hell after all.
The bright sun that was outside 20 minutes ago had turned to rain and it was really coming down, like a sheet of water hitting the cobbles. I tilted my head back into the downpour as I walked, like I did when I was younger, so much younger and more person than monster. It was almost nostalgic, if I thought really hard about it I could hear Hermione's laugh, that free one that she rarely used anymore, and I could feel the heat from Ron's body as he hurried us out of the rain. It felt like it was years ago, like it was some lost fever dream, where we were young and hopeless and just three best friends against the world. Where nothing mattered above the lives we would save and stopping the evil that breathed down our necks, I thought about it often. What I might have become had Voldemort never existed in the first place, the life I could have had if he hadn’t stolen it from me when I was a babe. What i might have been if i hadn’t become the monster that they had all feared, the kind that stole blood and on the wrong night could kill someone without ever realising what I’d done.
There was an instinct within me that was coiling, dark and suffocating, I quickened my pace, being out like this, it drove the monster against the cage bars over and over. The looming building that I called was ahead when I caught the scent of something mouthwatering and the beast within me rattled the bars of its cage.
The damn beast.
I didn't realise until it was too late that I was hunting the smell, hunting the scent of blood that sang to the monster within. I realised as I was upon them that I had tracked them a lot further than my home, I'd damn near chased them to the other side of the city and now I had them stuck at a dead end. I should have apologised and walked the fuck away, I should have done literally anything except what I was doing which was staring at the poor soul. My mouth was dry, my fangs aching, my throat parched, there was a familiar burning sensation creeping up from my belly, a fire consuming everything in its path. I tried to not breathe, tried to wrangle my bloodlust into submission, I tried to force the beast to back away from the bars. I had little luck. The human in front of me was shaking, heart racing as they turned to face me.
How odd I must look, a boy myself not yet 19, giving off an air of danger, every sense in the human in front of me was begging them to run, to flee far from me. Oh how times have changed. I both wanted them to flee and wanted them to remain, two halves of myself wrestling for what would happen next, the angel and the devil one upon each shoulder snarling and hissing at each other. I desperately wanted them to go, wanted them to flee me and live to see another sunrise, and yet I also desperately wanted to sink my fangs into the soft skin of their throat and drink. Drink until their heart stopped beating, drink until their skin grew cold and pale in my grasp. I am equal parts monster and equal parts man
I drew in a breath through my teeth, the burning had travelled to my throat and the voice that came out wasn’t mine.
“Don’t run, just stand right there” If they ran with the monster this close to the surface it would be disastrous. If they ran, I wouldn’t be able to stop it, I would give chase and they would die. I could see the shift of their feet, positioned to run away.
“Don’t move, please just stand fucking still” the voice was less monstrous but no less the monster, I was breathing heavily through my mouth, willing the thirst to subside. I saw them make the decision before I thought they had realised that they were going to make any decision at all, the hitch in their breath, the way their posture shifted. Shit.
“Please” I whispered, I didn’t want to chase them, didn’t want the monster to take over, didn’t want them to die by my hands today but well when has anyone ever given a single fuck about what I want?
They turned and ran.
I chased.
It didn’t take me long to catch them, vampire agility and all that. I grabbed their wrist and yanked them backwards.
“I said not to run god fucking damn it” my voice was my own again, eyes snapped to mine, big brown eyes. Their heart was pounding, cheeks flushed.
“Yeah how would you react if someone who’d been following you told you not to fucking run?” The voice was female. I should have fucking known from the fight or flight instinct.
“I get your point, believe me I do”
“Yet you’re restraining me” she snapped
“Yeah well if you keep running I’m going to have problems not giving chase and I’m pretty sure you want to live” I scrubbed my free hand through my hair, Ron’s voice rolling through my head Don’t kill anyone.
“That is a huge reason for me to fucking run. Now let go of me!”
“Don’t run, let me walk away first please, I’m begging you” I released her wrist one finger at a time until I could remove my hand from her entirely. She stood still as a statue, big brown eyes staring at me, chest heaving, I stared back. It didn’t occur to me until this exact point I could compel her to stay put until i've gone, the beast remained raging at the bars of the cage but thankfully behind bars it was.
I took a step back, then another and another, then like the big bad vampire that I am, I ran the fuck away and didn’t stop until I reached the lift of my building.
I slammed open the door and stalked inside, yanked a cigarette out of the packet and stuck it between my lips, I stomped to the window, opened it and lit the thing. Inhaling I tried desperately not to think about what could have happened if I hadn’t ran away, if I had slightly less control than I do. I’d spent my whole life trying to eradicate darkness from the world, and all I seem to have accomplished is dragging it into myself. I shook my head. I couldn’t stay hidden away forever, but I also knew it would only get harder and harder to leave the damned flat and face people. Even Ron and Hermione would eventually become difficult to be around without a full stomach of blood.
I sighed, somehow I never thought that being a hero would be such a lonely thing to be, except I'm not a hero, not really, not anymore… Now I am a monster.