Chapter 3.
“Right. D’you want to tell us why everyone has been asking Wormtail and I how we feel about you two being together?” James inquired, a smirk slightly playing at his lips.
Remus’ world stopped. They knew now. He took a deep breath. If Sirius was this fine with them two being together, then he should be too. After all, he’s the gay one. He should be the one that’s okay with it.
“It’s a long story.” Sirius shrugged.
The four of the Marauders were walking back from their class, to the direction of the Great Hall for lunch.
“We have an hour until our next class, we’re listening.” James stood his ground.
Remus sighed. You can’t change James’ mind once it’s made up.
“You remember Ben Copper?” He started. Peter and James nodded. “He was asking me why I broke up with him. I couldn’t exactly tell him I turn into a monstrous, people-killing wolf each month, so I looked for an excuse and Pads just so happened to be there and…” He broke off, expecting the boys to connect the dots.
James’ face lit up. “So you’re officially dating?” He grinned.
“No, no, no.” Remus shook his hands. Sirius kept quiet. “We’re pretending.”
Peter nodded. “Oh. So you two don’t like each other?”
James nudged him slightly in the side. Oh sweet but incredibly dumb Peter Pettigrew.
“Er…” Remus was stumped.
“What? No, of course we don’t, what’re you on about? We’re best mates.” Sirius said, as if it was obvious, and pretending to be your best friend’s boyfriend was a completely normal and platonic thing to do.
James made a face. Peter squeaked.
Remus could practically feel his heart breaking in pieces. “Yeah, exactly.” He croaked.
“Alright.” James clapped his hands, getting rid of the tension. Remus was incredibly grateful for James in that moment. “We’ll help you pretend then.”
“Cheers, Prongsie-boy.” Sirius grinned.
—
Remus felt empty walking into the Great Hall. He looked up from his feet, and it felt like the entire hall was gawking at him. Sirius immediately jumped into action and took Remus’ hand in his, keeping their lie going. He was doing a smart thing, of course, but Remus was really not feeling it. He wriggled his hand out of Sirius’. He couldn’t do this right now.
“Sorry, mate. I don’t feel well. I think I’ll just go up to the dorm.” He told Sirius.
Sirius nodded, but looked concerned. “You alright?”
Remus hated when he did this. He just said he wasn’t feeling well. Why did he have to ask again?
“Fine. I’ll see you.”
He turned around and strode out of the Great Hall, feeling Sirius staring at his back and not turning back.
He continued sauntering lazily up to the Gryffindor common room. He was walking very slowly, not feeling like himself at all. He felt stupid. He felt numb. He felt like a complete idiot. He promised himself he wouldn’t get his hopes up. And now look what happened.
The worst part is, it wasn’t even a big deal. Sirius didn’t say anything life-threatening, and there was no reason for Remus to be acting this way. But he was.
His head was drooped down, and he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. Walking around a corner, he crashed into another person, and made the books the person was carrying, fall.
“Sorry.” Remus mumbled. He was feeling horrible, but he wasn’t an asshole. He bent down to help pick up the books, and finally looked at the person he crashed into.
Regulus Black.
Them two are actually alright friends, but only because they keep on bumping into each other on the Astronomy tower, smoking. They hung out a few times, getting high together and talking.
But it was just Remus’ luck to bump into Sirius’ brother, right now out of all times.
“Hello, Remus.” Regulus greeted him.
“Hiya,” Remus responded. He always thought he sounds like a complete idiot beside Regulus.
Regulus always uses big fancy words, and is practically royalty. While Remus on the other hand, grew up in a small, poor town in Wales, has a horrible and thick accent, and only learned about manners in his most recent years.
Regulus nodded back, and continued picking up the books that fell. Remus helped along. Regulus grabbed the last book that was on the ground, and stood back up again, straightening his robes with his hands.
“I hear you are dating my brother?” Regulus says. His voice is like ice to Remus.
“Er, that’s a lie. Don’t tell anyone, but it’s not true. We’re just pretending because I’m an idiot and Sirius is an even bigger one for going along with the lie.” Remus responded. Regulus stayed silent. Remus cleared his throat, “Er, sorry for any confusion.”
“You are not together?” Regulus asked.
Why did he have to keep perusing this? Remus wished he just left him alone.
“No.” He responded.
“Would you like to be?”
“We’re best mates.”
“That’s not an answer.”
Remus huffed. “Listen, Black, I’ve got to go. Sorry ‘bout the books. See you.”
And he walked off, in the completely wrong direction, but he didn’t care. He just needed to get as far away from everyone as possible.
—
“I knew you’d be here.”
Remus was hiding behind a tapestry, in a little hide-away cave he found in his third year. The tapestry was showing a knight on a horse, fighting off a wolf. It was his safe space, even though it wouldn’t seem so to his closest friends because of the illustration. But it was different for Remus. He liked it because he felt like that knight whenever he was out of control. The knight wasn’t doing a very good job fighting off the wolf, and that’s how Remus felt.
“Piss off.” Remus responded to Sirius, who was now climbing inside the little cave behind the tapestry.
“That is no way to speak to your boyfriend, Remus Moony Lupin! And so disrespectful!” Sirius shook his head, smiling, and Remus knew he was trying to cheer him up. But he was in no mood to talk to Sirius right now.
“I said piss off, Black.”
Remus turned away from Sirius, and Sirius sighed. Remus knew he was acting like a child over something that wasn’t even a big deal, but he was just so tired. That was the last straw.
Sirius didn’t leave. He stayed still, not speaking, not trying to make Remus talk. He was just sitting there. Remus could hear his breathing. It was calm. He turned back around to face Sirius. They might as well talk about it, now that Sirius practically forced his way into Remus’ safe space.
“Why would you say that?” Remus asked, his voice breaking because of not talking in a while.
Sirius blinked, at first a bit confused at what Remus was asking him. After a while, he nodded, and Remus could almost see the dots being connected in Sirius’ head.
“Is that what you’re upset about? Me saying we’re best mates?” Sirius exclaimed.
“It’s the fact you said that exact sentence right after a whole day of holding hands, and acting like real boyfriends, and complimenting each other, and then you go and ruin it all!” Remus sighed, bringing his hands up to his face and hiding away behind them.
Sirius stayed quiet. Remus sighed again, and rubbed his eyes with his hands. He was so tired.
“Never mind. We are best mates. Now leave me alone.” Remus stood up and tried to make his way out through the tapestry, but was stopped by Sirius’s hand.
“I told you to leave me-“
Remus’ sentence was cut off by the brisk feeling of Sirius’ lips on his. Remus gasped slightly, but didn’t part from Sirius. He tasted like butterbeer and smoke. Remus liked it. Sirius was standing on his tippy toes, trying his best to stay in reach of Remus’ lips, so Remus had to bend down a bit.
After a few seconds, they pulled away.
“Is that what you wanted, Moony?” Sirius grinned.
“Exactly that, Padfoot.”
—
“You’re feeling better, Moony?” Peter asked as Remus and Sirius came back into the Gryffindor Common room.
Holding hands.
Actually real, this time.
“Yeah, cheers, Wormy.” Remus grinned.
“Where’s Prongs? I’ve got to tell him something.” Sirius said, winking at Remus. Thankfully, Peter didn’t see the wink.
“He’s out on the Quidditch pitch, I think.” Peter responded, looking out the window to try and spot James. “Oh yeah, there he is. I think he’s finishing up now.”
“Right, I’ll be back. See you, Moons.” Sirius grinned his famous Sirius Black grin, and disappeared through the portrait hole.
“Why’re you so happy?” Peter raised an eyebrow, squinting his eyes in suspicion at Remus, who hasn’t stopped smiling since he came back.
Remus shrugged. “I think you’ll know soon enough.”
Peter nodded slowly, and left Remus be. Remus smiled and went to sit on his favourite armchair by the window to do homework. Homework — meaning, thinking about Sirius and everything that happened today.
He took out his parchment, and his Charms book, and tried to focus on his work, but just couldn’t. He looked out the window to distract himself with the amount of thoughts currently washing away any of his knowledge about Charms, and noticed Sirius and James out on the pitch, flying.
Sirius must’ve forced James back into the air, which honestly isn’t hard at all. They were smiling and laughing, and James was cheering, so Remus supposed they were celebrating. Idiots, he thought, but was smiling.
Remus couldn’t help but stare at the way Sirius’ stupidly perfect hair slinked down past his stupidly perfect cheekbones, and his stupidly perfect jawline, and all the way down to his stupidly perfect shoulders. And the fact that Sirius maintained all his beauty and grace while on a broomstick was mind boggling to Remus. He always looked so perfect, but so stupid.
“Who’re you drooling at?” Lily came skipping up to Remus.
Remus realised he has been gawking with his mouth open at the small Sirius out on the pitch.
“Oh, er, no one.” Remus cleared his throat.
Lily looked out to window too, and turned back.
“I assume you’re staring at Sirius?” She asked. “It would be my job to stare at James.”
Remus laughed, then nodded.
Lily smiled. “I’m so happy for you two. You finally realised how much of an idiot you and Sirius were, and worked it out!”
Remus chuckled. “Yeah, exactly.”
“You know I won a whole 7 galleons from Mary!” Lily exclaimed. “Yeah, she didn’t think you two were smart enough to realise you actually liked each other.”
Remus blinked. “You bet seven bloody galleons on me and Sirius?!”
“Yeah! We’ve had the bet going since third year.“
“Third year?!”
“Alright, I feel like you’re about to have a stroke, so I’m going to leave now. Bye, Remus!”
Remus sighed. It looked like everyone knew about him and Sirius except him and Sirius.
“I’m back, Remus darling!” Sirius shouted coming into the common room again.
The room erupted in “aww”s and “oooh”s and Remus wanted to fall through the floor again, but he felt better, knowing that Sirius actually meant it this time.
Sirius actually cared.