Princess

Despite the resolution to save the whole world which gleamed from Blacks' eyes, he did not make it even as far as out of the kitchen, for when he reached for the doors they could hear a distinct click from the main entrance. Both men exchanged quick glance and waited with bated breaths.

They lost. The words, unbidden, materialised in Severus' brain, even before they - few seconds later - were confirmed. He thought as much, because he was certain that should Dumbledore manage to save Potters' from Dark Lords' grasp he would bring them here, into safety, wouldn't he? But only one set of footsteps echoed from the hallway, sluggish and subdued. They surely lost.

And sure enough, just a second later Albus Dumbledore entered the kitchen and one look at his grave and shockingly old face brook no scope for hope. They were dead. Lily was dead.

World suddenly spun and all air got sucked out of the room. Severus' rib-cage cracked and concaved, its content falling down to his stomach and then lower still, completly away.

Stricken, he tried to move, to jump up to his feet, to speak, anything, but utterly failed; all he could manage was just to sit there, completly still and rigid, blindly staring ahead, the only movement were the clench of his jaw and convulsive swallows.

Black was speaking; loudly and animately, and Dumbledore was answering him in subdued voice, but Severus could not make out the words, for his ears thundered with his accelerated heartbeat. It mattered not what they were saying, anyway. It was too late.

Only when tiny black dots swarmed his vision, Severus remembered to take in a breath. The oxygen supply made his world snap back in to focus and enabled him to perceive the ongoing conversation. He had to fight back a childish urge to cover his ears, to protect himself from the terrible truth. He felt cold, but could not even shiver.

"The house was already in shambles, when I arrived to Godricks Hollow" The old man was saying. Black uttered pathetic sob and collapsed down a chair. He was shaking his head, as though it could reverse the ruthless tragedy.

"Lily and James were dead" Dumbledore continued softly; with the single sentence he broke hearts of the both men sitting in front of him.

Black whined, pitful, almost canine sound. Severus could not help but wonder, in a strange detached sort of way, whether it was weird that he was not crying. Lily was dead; shouln't he wail and scream and be breaking things? Shouln't he go out and seek revenge? He thought that he probably should, but he was simply not able, feeling as though he was being submerged in to ice-cold water that muffled and distorted everything, and all the fight in him seemed to be extinguished. It was too late.

Black dots again clouded his sight.

"But Harry..." Dumbledore was saying and there was a new sound to his voice. A pinch of hope, perhaps, along with the bottomless sorrow and sadness. Severus could see Blacks' head snap up, eagerly eyeing Dumbledore, but he could not fully keep a track of his next words. He did, though, managed to catch something about deflected curse, and for the first time since Dumbledore arrived he could feel some emotion bubble through his chest, apart from the strange, listless lethargy and paralysing grief. What was Dumbledore talking about?

Black unknowingly threw him a bone, for he too asked for clarification. "You mean that Voldemort is dead?" Despite the tremors, a kind of awed reverence crept into his voice.

"I don't think that he was human enough to die" Severus spoke up hollowly, surprising everyone - himself most of all - by suddenly joining the talk. Both men turned to him.

"Yes. Saddly, I agree with Severus" Dumbledore nodded after a while. "For now he's gone, but I fear that we can be sure that one day, he'll come back. And we need to be prepared for such day, not allow ourselves to be lulled in to a false illusion of safety" He cleared his throat and his eyes darted to the child snoozing on the table.

"Where is Harry, then? I'm going for him Dumbledore, I'm his godfather and I'm going to take care of him" Black interupted the short silence and sprang up to his feet again. His face was still ashen and wet with tears, but purpose and determination shon out of his eyes.

Lines in Dumbledores' face increased and he took in a deep breath, clearly preparing himself for an unavoidable verbal fight. Whatever he was about to say, Severus was quite certain that Black was going to hate it.

And indeed. "You cannot take Harry, Sirius" He sighed. "If I am not mistaken - and I most likely am not - the reason why Harry was able to survive the killing curse, was because Lily has sacrifased her own life for him..."

Dull ache flared in Severus' chest and he wished to not be compelled to listen to all those things. He wished the ground just crack open and swallow him whole. No such luck though, for the floor remained indeed intact, and Dumbledore was continuing with his exhausting explanation.

He spoke about blood magic and protections and about things that Severus particulary did not cared about, yet still, he could not resist to interfere when Dumbledore presented his plan for the boys' imediate future "Petunia hated Lily. She envied her for being a witch and despised her and our world for it"

He could feel Blacks' eyes on him, but continued to stare straight ahead. Dumbledore sighed wearily. "Yes, I am aware of that. But still, it is unavoidable, as only there will little Harry be completly safe"

Black right began to oppose, but Severus no longer listened. He, in fact, cared very little for the fate of Potter junior. If there'd be a possibility to switch the childs' place with Lilys', he wouldn't have to think twice. And if it would be possible to exchange his own life for Lilys', he too would not hesitate. But there was not such possibility. Lily was dead, and nothing could change that.

After a while it became apparent that Black gave up his plea for the kids' custody, but that did not ment that he was done fighting. His face visibly darkened and he donned his cloak. "I'm going for Peter then" He said quietly with iron resolution. Pure hatred was etched upon his sallow face.

"Sirius, don't..." Dumbledore stepped into his way, but it was finally too much for Black, and the gesture pushed him over the edge. Why, he jumped over the edge with headless abandon, for what he did next was so foolish, that even Severus' sunken eyes for a second widened; He whiped his wand out of the waistband of his jeans and pointed it to Dumbledores' face.

Of course, Black wouldn't stand a chance against Dumbledore, but it wasn't about that anyway. What held such a gravity was the fact that no one, most likely, dared to even attempt this, since the legendary duel with Grindelwald. One simply didn't pull his wand on to Albus Dumbledore, at least uneless one has a death wish.

And yet, here stood Black, his whole frame shaking, but the hand wielding his wand firm and steady.

It was a gesture, more than anything else, though admittedly impressive one. Sure, the men would not fight in a mortal combat, but Severus had no doubt that shall Black not be allowed to avenge the death of his best friend, he would indeed got violent, even against Dumbledore.

"Sirius..." The old man began, saddly and wearily, but ohh, Black had his hackles truly up.

"Get out of my way Dumbledore! You hadn't let me come along when James needed me, and now they are dead" his voice cracked and snapped and the belligerence soon became a pitful desperation.

It made Severus uncomfortable. Even though he hated Black, there weren't anything pleasant about witnessing him being broken like that.

"You hadn't let me go and help James, you won't let me take care of Harry, even though I'm his godfather, but you can't stop me from going for Peter! I'll fight my way out of here, if I'd have to Dumbledore, I swear"

For Severus' eyes were deliberately averted, he could not see what precisely transpired next, but just from the sounds alone, he concluded that at last Black got his way; Dumbledore did not commented on any of the allusions, only stepped aside, leaving the path free for Black to storm away.

After a minute, muffled voices could be heard from the hall-way and then the telltale click of front doors, therefore, Severus thought that only he and Ide remained alone in the house, and so, when Dumbledore suddenly appeared in the kitchen again and spoke up, it gave him quite a fright, though he tried to pretend it didn't.

"Severus" Dumbledore said softly, and came to stand uncomfortably close to him. When it became apparent that he was waiting for Severus to look up he reluctantly did so, to get over with whatever that conversation was supposed to be.

"You should know that currently, the Death Eaters are wreaking chaos across the whole country. Owing to your earlier attack at Peter Pettigrew, many of them are conviced that you Severus, were as well embroiled in tonight events which led to Voldemorts' downfall. It also became known that you are harboring the girl" He nodded towards the peacefully snoozing thing. "It is of utmost importance, that the both of you stay hidden, for the time being" He said with ridiculously serious emphasiss.

Severus would flip him off, if he could only muster the will to move his bones. Little too late for you to care, old man, He thought bitterly, but his feelings were mere shadows of the hatred he felt towards Dumbledore just couple of days ago.

"I presume that right now, we could hardly find more suitible place to shelter you, than here, at Grimmauld Place, therefore, I ask you to remain. I must leave now, to see to Harrys' transmission, and other things, but once the most pressing matters will be taken care of, I shall return and we'll figure out next steps"

Severus did not cared. The things Dumbledore said and proposed could not shock or interest him. What was a meaning of anything after the nights events? There was none. And the fact that the man now tried to pretend concern for them - after he so blatantly refused to help not a long time ago - vaguely grated on Severus' stunned nerves.

When the silence stretched enough Dumbledore repeated his name and then placed his hand on his shoulder. Severus imedilately flinched away. "Leave me alone, Dumbledore" There was no heat behind the words. He just honestly wanted, needed, to be left alone.

Dumbledore sighed and finally turned to leave. "Stay here with the girl" He only said once more, before He was blessingly gone.

Severus sat out his night, alone, by the table at 12 Grimmauld Place, staring straight ahead and fighting with all his might to keep the terrible thoughts and truths that gnawned on his mind at bay. All was lost, he thought, but just that moment choose the little girl in front of him to stretch out and mumble something out of her sleep. Well, perhaps not all, he amended as he watched the little being. He indeed managed to save at least one innocent life, though he rather did not contemplated much at what expense.

Swift, random thought flashed through his mind; what would he do if he could choose in between saving the girl or Lily. He knew the answer and it made him qeasy and vaguely ashamed, but then, he shook his head; the question was as stupid as it was irelevant.

"I got you" He whispered and stood up, and despite the tremors ceaselessly running through his body, he took off his cloak and covered the sleeping girl with it.

When he sat back down he tentatively reached for the little hand and Ide automatically curled her fist around his finger. And so for the first time in, well perhaps in forever, Severus Snape took a comfort in a physical contact with other human being.

Too much was lost tonight, but maybe, maybe not all.