III - Worthless
Dear Diary,
I apologise for the explicit things I am about to write.
WHY THE FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?
Why is Draco Malfoy suddenly everywhere in my life yet nowhere? I reported the class to Dumbledore but am yet to hear anything back yet. Malfoy apparently got a month of detention meaning he will miss out on quidditch trials which serves him right. No matter how violating that class was, how could he cast one of the unforgivables?
Neville and I chose not to say anything about that class since. In the past week I can happily say that my only classes without the mental case are Arithmancy and Ancient Runes. They have to be my favorite.
Ron and Harry are due to come back within the next few days, and i swear when i see them it is on sight. Could they not have gotten sick when they were at least a t hogwarts. Not to mention they have missed a crucial week of classes they will need to catch up on. The homework is no joke.
Hermione felt her mind draw black and carefully closed her diary. She pressed the lock close and threw it in her bag.
“Lavender, I promise you Ron will be starstruck when he sees you like this.” Parvati enthused.
Hermione nodded her head in agreement though she could feel a strike of jealousy fill her. “You definitely will Lavender.”
Lavender turned to face Hermione, the three girls had gone to hogsmeade together and were currently eating their weight in sweets and tea. Brews and Stews Café was bustling with Hogwarts students as they filed out of classes to enjoy their weekend.
“Sorry to run the conversation off track, but have either of you noticed any tension between the professors during meal times?” Hermione asked, remembering the odd looks and separation in which certain professors partook. Barely any house points had been given or taken as of late and Dumbledore was yet to give one of his hearty hearings.
“I haven’t noticed much. I can say that all the new professors are so odd.” Parvati grumbled, her hands covered in sprinkles as she tried to eat a finger bun.
“Did you hear about Draco pulling his wand on Mrs Umbridge in Defence against the Dark arts? Apparently he even tried to crucito her! I knew he was evil like his father. Even with Voldermort gone, can we truly believe that the Malfoy’s won’t create or join a new resurgence eventually?” Lavender exclaimed, her eyebrows raising to her hairline.
“I really don’t know.” Hermione answered, slightly unsettled as she tried to avoid even thinking about her DADA classes. They had only been two so far but the secondary class had been just as unsettling. To prove a point perhaps, they had gone over the three unforgivables in which she had deeply offended Neville about his parents and the Imperius curse which had sent yet another complaint from Hermione and to Dumbledore.
“Lets stop being such downers and go shopping. The Slytherins are hosting a party tonight and I heard hufflepuff and ravenclaws are bringing the goods if you get what I mean.” Parvati declared.
“A party?” Lavender echoed and her eyes suddenly filled with joy.
“Oh gods no. I don’t want anything to do with those Slytherins.” Hermione sighed and drew her bag to her shoulder. “The sky would rain pigs before that ever happened.
—----
As it turned out, no pigs had yet fallen from the sky but Hermione Granger was most definitely at the party. The night had begun with a whole load of protesting, restraint and finally resignation as she swore she could hear the music all the way from their room.
Parvati and Padma had become joined at the hip again once they reunited. Both wore fiery red dresses that scooped low on the back and hugged the chest. Their beauty was only amplified as they stood together, walking through the throws of the room. Several men trailed them, potions half drunk in their hands.
“Ginny Weasley, what do you even see in Harry?” Hermione groaned as the alcohol refused to kick in. Ginny had been helplessly whining about him all night as she watched various people hook up right in front of them.
“You wouldn’t understand Hermione. You are such a prude when it comes to men.” Ginny choked, downing another bottle of firewhisky.
“You aren’t even meant to be here. I’d watch what you say.”
“But I’m not wrong am I? I love you very much but have you honestly even liked someone before? With you it’s all books and study, blah blah.”
Hermione tried to laugh it off, knowing that the alcohol must be creating a very unfiltered version of Ginny. She already was honest naturally, but the lack of tack could be missed.
“I can’t afford to worry about things like that.” She explained, her heart in her throat.
“That’s what I mean. You’re seventeen and never even held hands with a boy in a romantic way. Are you sure you are even into boys? I wouldn’t judge you if you weren’t.”
“Ginny, I think that’s enough for you tonight.”
“If you didn’t hang around Harry so much, he would definitely have more time for me. But you are always nagging his arse about his studies and mothering him.”
“Someone has to make sure he actually passes his school studies. If it were up to him and Ron, they would be flunked out repeating year two.”
Ginny sat up, her face growing greenish though she made no move to throw up.
“Can you at least put in a good word for me, when Harry comes back?”
“I can try but subtly isn't my strong suit.”
“There you are again being such a prude when it comes to love, Hermione.”
“Maybe if I didn’t have to constantly prove people wrong just to be treated as an equal I could afford to slack off and explore relationships with people. Instead, I have a whole load of shallow friendships with people who don’t even care.”
Hermione got onto her feet and flounced away from Ginny before she could say something much harsher. It was just the alcohol and stress getting to them both. Boys didn’t matter in the slightest.
The party was held in one of the abandoned rooms near the dungeons. The room was quite spacious and looked as if it had previously been quite grand.
She found Luna Lovegood in a corner, chasing small floating lights in the air as if she were a cat.
“What are you up to?” Hermione asked rather flatly and slid down the wall so she watch the scene unfurl.
The unique experience that Luna brought to Hogwarts was definitely something. She often found herself annoyed at how painfully unaware Luna could be with the dynamics of the world. She lived in her head, filled with her nonsensical delusions. Yet, she was perhaps the kindest person Hermione knew. She was very wise, though often spoke in riddles; Hermione had learnt not to undervalue the importance of someone like that.
“I’m trying to capture the floating lights, they are supposed to bring good luck if you bundle them in mint leaves.”
“Why would you need luck?”
Hermione drew out her legs and stretched towards her toes. She had worn baggy jeans and a fitted tee but was now regretting the long pants. Everywhere seemed to be icky and hot. Not even the marbled stone could help ease the burn.
Luna tossed two of the lights into a glass cage that hung off the waist of her own pants. “One always needs luck. I find that tension can be alleviated by lights and shiny things.”
“Checks out.” She nodded.
Shiny things were pretty nifty. She hadn’t grown up completely dirt-poor, but she had never had many keepsakes. The first proper shiny item she received was seared into her skin on her left hand. Yet it had not brought her any luck.
“Do you come to these parties often, Luna?”
“Why, when I can't find my earrings, I find it a perfect time to socialise.” The blonde smiled, her eyes round as the moon.
“Have you taken anything tonight?”
“It would never be a party truly without a little bit of shiny would it?”
Hermione chuckled, noting the few bottles of a shining green liquid she hadn’t noticed earlier. It seemed like the usual thing to do at the parts was;
1. Make out
2. Get drunk
3. Get high
4. Forget everyone and everything around you to cope.
There could be a lot more options yet her brain struck dead again. All she could think about was the massive hangover that she would wake up to tomorrow before class.
Luna captured the last floating light and crouched down so she was eye level with Hermione. “Would you care to take a stroll with me? I believe there may be even shinier things here to unfold.”
Hermione grabbed Luna’s outstretched hand and rised to her feet. Hand in hand the pair walked through the large room. The lights were various shades of blue and the music was thumping loud with the bass. People were beginning to thin out, complaining about the heat.
“There’s something shiny.” Luna grinned and dragged a reluctant Hermione towards a small gathering.
Two people were holding out their wands, eyes wide with adrenaline as they sparred back and forth. She recognized Silzy instantly, her tall frame and broad shoulders made her imposing. The opponent was none other then Pansy Parkinson.
Hermione joined in the cheering for Silzy, a small smile breaking onto her face as Pansy was immobilised.
“How do I join in?” Hermione laughed to Luna only to find that she had disappeared.
“Do you hear that Blaise? Hermione Granger wants a round in the circle!” Theodore grinned, his face was far too good-looking for the piece of crap that he was.
“Well then, why don’t I invite her in?” Blaised echoed, stretching out a hand for Hermione as he led her into the circle.
Theodore gave her a little whoop, his eyes shimmering with amusement. Blaise seemed almost feral with delight, his dark skin was tinged with sweat as he stood away from her.
“Ladies and Gents, I present to you the Golden girl of hogwarts. The Gryffindor Princess. The mudblood who fights with tooth and claw yet always lands underneath. Underappreciated by her friends, nothing but a goody-two-shoes that probably has sucked off half the teachers here. Do I smell a redemption round?” Blaise yelled, rallying up the people from the circle.
Hermione could barely see behind the water that bubbled down her face. She was stuck to the floor, unable to move just as Pansy had been. Why did they believe the crap that Blaise was riling?
“That’s it little lion, show us your claws, your teeth. Prove to us that you are not nothing. That your tarnished blood and sickly face isn’t all there is to you.”
Theodore had lost his edge a little, glancing awkwardly between Blaise and the crowd. His dark ringlets were swaying as he kept turning his head anxiously. “Blaise?” He shouted nervously, trying to signal something yet it went over deaf ears.
“Why do I have to prove myself to pathetic people like you?” Hermione rasped, trying to raise her voice but the more faces she saw, the less confident she grew.
“Leave then.” Blaise shrugged.
Hermione turned away, humiliation burning through her as she tried to make way for the door. Stupud, stupid idea to come to the party after all. If only Ron and Harry were here, then she wouldn’t be the laughing stock of the grade.
“Levioso.”
She was quickly lifted from the ground, spiralling like the stupid imperiused insect they had seen in DADA the other day.
“You should never cast a spell on someone when their back is turned,” she hissed, finding a huddle of people red-faced, laughing as if she had just flashed them her panties.
“Always a stickler for the rules aren’t you little lion. You live up to your reputation awfully well.” Blaise cursed, she could barely see him this far from the ground. The height of the room seemed endless as she continued to whirl around.
“Fumos,” Hermione whispered, her wand outstretched as she flew - or rather, tumbled - towards Blaise. A fine mist had settled along the ground, cloaking everyone below. She couldn’t bare to see anyone’s faces while the spar began.
“Stupefy.”
“You are going to have to try harder than that.” A voice jeered tauntingly.
“Confringo.”
Bright red flames roared from her wand and straight for Blaise who deftly ducked out of the way. Her aim was terrible. Hermione instead felt her wand be drawn from her and snapped under Blaise’s foot as he walked towards her. She was immobilised. Since when had he learnt how to cast spells silently? Or had she been too caught up in the background to recognise his offences?
“You fought so poorly, and you call people like me pathetic? You are no lion Hermione Granger. You are a mistake. Your very being is like dirty sewage contaminating every pool of fresh water near it. You are a disgrace to the wizarding world.”
Blaise walked around her, ropes coiling around her body and tightening with every move she made. She could hear faint hissing as the ropes transfigured into snakes. Her screams were silenced. She was utterly useless. Humiliated and worthless.
It'll be over soon. It'll be over soon. It'll be over soon.
She repeated those words in her head over and over.
“In this world you can only save yourself, no one is ever going to help a mudblood.” Blaise explained, almost as if he were bored.
The snakes bit her, their teeth ravaging her skin. She was powerless to do anything but let it happen.
“You are wrong about that, you filthy excuse for a wizard.” Luna cried, her angelic face was lined with such distraught it agonised Hermione. Luna already was bullied enough, standing up to Blaise wasn’t worth the damage.
“Loony Lovegood to the rescue is it?” Blaise chirped merfully.
Luna reached for the glass cages around her belt and unleashed the fiery lights, everyone remained still as she captivated the audience. Her eyes began to glow an unholy azure, her hair raised up as if she had been electrocuted. She murmured a chorus of words, low and deep, almost poetic.
The lights drew together, lighting a massive ball of flame. She directed them straight towards Blaise, the ball morphing into a creature with large jaws, chomping and snapping as it trailed after him.
“Protego,” Blaise yelled, countering the ball of flames straight towards Luna.
“Only lucky people deserve shiny things. They’ll never listen to you.” Luna called in a sing-song voice.
Hermione quickly refocused on herself, the snakes were only transfigured pieces of rope. She knew the counter spell for binding. Slowly she reversed the hexes, it wasn’t the greatest. She had stolen the closest wand to her and began to undo the work. Wandless spells were first on her agenda to learn, she would hex the life out of Zabini if it were the last thing she was going to do.
“Bombarda, Refije.”
Zabini was blasted from his feet, the rage of Hermione amplified into the spell. Wall after wall he flew through, blood pouring from his body as he was dragged on the next stone wall.
“Hermione! Hermione!” Ginny was shaking her violently, her round eyes large with fear.
In shock, Hermione dropped the wand and rushed down the path that Zabini’s body had created. Half the grade had run away screaming during the match, Luna and her firelights were guiding the way down the hall. Her laughter was almost maniacal.
As the group parted so Hermione could reach Luna, they both silently surveyed the body before them. He was most definitely unconscious, his body was bruised and swelling up fast.
“Fuck you and everything you stand for.” Hermione growled, half in fear and half disgusted in herself.
She pulled out her hands and began to heal him. She was by no means a healer, barely knew enough to fix a sprained wrist, but she had definitely read enough to know what spells should be used in theory, applying them practically would be the harder challenge.
Luna sighed in resignation but aided Hermione in healing the Slytherin.
“Who hurt Zabini?”
The world freezed as a figure in dark dress robes strode forwards, his silvery eyes latching on Hermione’s as he jumped through every possible conclusion.
She felt choked on words. He hadn’t acknowledged her once since the first day of DADA. She was used to his cruelty, not always directed towards her but in general. Yet the cold glare he sent her felt worse than anything she had experienced tonight.
He settled infront of Zabini, his wand pressing against different places along his body. Light trickled out of his wand tip and into Zabini, the boy suddenly sat up gasping for air as if he had been robbed of it.
Luna had turned to Hermione, her skin was untouched and a small smile had spread upon her face in an eerie way. “I had been waiting to show you that spell, I thought you might like it.”
“Luna.” Was all Hermione could manage, her emotions were swirling so meticulously she didn’t know how to control them. She could still feel the ghost of the snakes biting her, ripping into her flesh, feasting on her impure blood. “I can’t control it.”
Malfoy turned to her again, his hand shrouded in Zabini’s blood. He reached for Hermione’s hand and for an instant she felt a cool wave of reassurance flood over her. She felt a blanket of safety falling upon her.
But the blanket was torn. Ripped and matted. Covered in blood.
Malfoy hadn’t reached for her hand like he once had, instead he was reaching for the ring on her hand. Desperately trying to claw it off of her skin. He managed to peel the first few layers of her skin away pulling away the ring, but it only flew back onto her finger, tightening in the exposed muscle and flesh.
She screamed, kicking at him to stop.
Luna raised her wand, a spell shooting straight towards the pair but instead was reflected back towards her. She fell backwards and hit her head on the rubble.
“Someone get the teachers!”
People around them were screaming, the light was shrouded from them.
“I’ll obliviate them all. Pansy can cast a glamouring charm on the room and we can say that there was a noise complaint.” Theodore said through tight-lips, his face ashen as he reached for Pansy. The pair had disappeared during the spar, or perhaps they had been there the whole time?
Malfoy nodded, too busy cleaning the blood off of his hands and helping Zabini onto his feet. “Do what you must.”
Hermione threw up over herself as she was left alone with only Luna’s unconscious body.
She exploded. Even without the light, the darkness of the room was wrapped in a whirl of unforgiving velvet. The air became thick, almost possible to grasp. Voices and hisses echoed through the empty pathway.
Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone.
The voice was one of the sweetest sounds she had ever heard, it filled her mind and soothed her racing heart.