Saturday, August 9th, 1986
Narcissa smiled a bit at the sound of Harry and Draco giggling as they played in her and Lucius’s bedroom. She loved her son and godson very much and would do anything for them. Still, she couldn’t stop the shock from pooling in her stomach as she caught sight of them through the previously closed door.
The two were on the floor, clothes strewn around them, playing Candy Land. This in itself wasn’t odd as the two were forever trying on Lucius’s clothes, Severus and Remus’s as well when they were at Harry’s house instead of the manor, and the game had recently become a favorite. The only problem was that the clothes on the floor and the six year olds bodies weren't Lucius’s, they were Narcissa’s.
Draco was wearing what was supposed to be a very short silver dress but which went below his knees due to his height overtop of bright green leggings with large red heels. Harry’s dress was more his size since it had been Narcissa’s as a girl, but was still a bit too big. He neglected leggings, but was wearing heels, black Mary Janes not dissimilar to the ones Hogwarts girls wore in uniform. He also had something Draco didn’t, being a purple butterfly barrette that was getting lost in his thick desi hair from not putting it on correctly.
Narcissa was surprised to find her eyes watering a bit at the sight of the two. She used to make the exact same mistake with hair clips as a kid. And the two pseudo-cousins sitting there playing, not even noticing her, brought back scarce good memories of her and her sisters as children.
She hadn’t seen Bellatrix and Andromeda in years; the former as she was in prison as a Death Eater, and the latter because it’d been impossible to convince Andi she wasn’t one after the war. She didn’t blame either woman, though—they’d all made their mistakes and had their biases.
“Dray, Haz?” Narcissa finally broke her solo silence and the childhood noises, trying to get the boys to the kitchen before their food got cold or touched by a fly.
The two looked up, positively beaming. “Mommy!” Draco screamed, running into her arms.
Narcissa picked up her son, scruffing up Harry’s hair after he quickly shoved the game back into its box. He was always the neater of the two.
“Aunt Cissy!” He squirmed. “You’re ruining my hair!” But, he was laughing, so she knew it was okay.
She laughed a bit before grabbing the younger’s hand, leading them both out of the room. It wasn’t until the three had all begun eating their lunch, Lucius at work still, that she spoke again.
“Kids, can you talk to me for a sec?”
“What, mommy?”
“What is it, Aunt Cissy?”
“You two are wearing my clothes.” She simply observed.
“So?” Draco took a bite of his sandwich. “We wear daddy’s and Uncle Sev’s and Uncle Remy’s all the time.”
“Yeah, but you’ve never worn mine.”
“Are we in trouble?” Harry sat down his chip. He always lost his appetite when he was upset; she should have left this until after the meal. How had she forgotten?!
Narcissa quickly gave her best comforting smile, gently shaking her head. “Not at all, Pumpkin! I was just wondering why you chose mine.”
The chip was picked up again and placed in his mouth, Draco responded in the meantime. “Cause daddy doesn’t have any dresses.”
“And that’s something you want? Dresses?”
Harry shrugged, seeming to debate whether or not it was worth picking up another chip or his sandwich. “Didn’t know. Never worn them before.”
“Right, of course. You have to experiment with something before you know how you feel about it.” She tried to keep up the calming expression and light tone, but her anxiety was through the roof.
Unlike the other two, Draco seemed perfectly content to shovel his food in his mouth quickly enough that he could get a second plate without having to eat alone.
Narcissa didn’t know what else to do as her plate remained untouched but one bite of her sandwich, Harry seemed like he couldn’t eat anymore from sheer anxiety, and Draco stayed oblivious over his own plate. No one was talking.
She wanted to help, she wanted to get them what they wanted. She wanted them to feel safe and comfortable around her, in general. She wanted them to be confident living in their bodies.
And yet there was a but.
People could be cruel, especially children. What if this just led them to being bullied? Harassed? Murdered?
Then again, who’s to say they wouldn’t do it as adults and have those experiences anyway. Except in that scenario they wouldn’t have their mom or godmother to go to for comfort and support.
She couldn’t just crush their identities. But….
It was all too hard!
Everything got far too intense for Harry and he couldn’t seem to keep the words in any longer. “I’m sorry, Aunt Cissy! I’ll never do it again! Please don’t hate us!”
Draco finally stopped eating, noticing the energy of the room, and Narcissa had an ice cold revelation.
“Please don’t hate us!”
How in the world had she ever let her godson, her baby, think he was unloved? That was completely and utterly unacceptable. Fuck the world and their bigoted ideas—even if she never supported Voldemort, she was an ex-Death Eater goddamnit! She’d fucking kill anyone who even thought about saying a word against her babies, let alone hurting them!
“Baby, never.” She assured, her voice softer than ever. “I could never, never, never hate you.”
“B-but you’re being so quiet.” Harry sobbed, tears beginning to pour down his face.
“I was just—do you two want dresses? Skirts? Anything that isn’t currently in your wardrobes?”
Both six year olds nodded, though neither as happy as they usually were at any possible hint of shopping or getting new clothes.
“Remember how I’m taking you for new shoes in a week? Since you outgrew your old ones?”
“Y-yeah?” Harry managed, Draco just nodded again, distractedly staring at the slightly younger child. His “baby cousin” as he said, despite being less than two months older.
“I’ll get you the other stuff then. Dresses and everything?”
Draco’s face lit up, though he was still more interested in Harry, who was wiping his tears away. “Really?!”
Narcissa nodded. “Really. It’s been far too long since I’ve taken you on a shopping spree, anyway.”
“M-me too?” Harry confirmed.
“Of course, love. It just wouldn’t be right if you weren’t there.”
“So—so this” he indicated his clothes “really is okay?”
“Has someone told you it isn’t?”
“Well, no, but….Daddy and papa never bought it for me, so….”
“Have you ever asked?”
“Didn’t think I was ‘llowed….Never boys on T.V. in dresses.”
“T.V. isn’t reality, Pumpkin. And I promise your daddy and papa will be okay with it.” She stroked his hair in a way he either loved or despised depending on the moment. This seemed to be a ‘love it’ time, thank goodness. He didn’t need to have to deal with a meltdown on top of everything else.
“But, never bought.”
“I’m sorry none of us ever thought to buy you boys dresses and stuff. It was very unfair of us to assume what you’d like. But, I’m glad I know now to make it better.”
“It’s okay, mommy, we didn’t know either….But, don’t make my baby cousin cry again, or else.” Draco finally made himself known again.
“I’ll do my absolute best.” Narcissa sincerely promised.
“Being my mommy only gets you so far.” Draco went on.
“Good.” Was all Narcissa could respond. At least she’d done right on that aspect.