Faded with you

“I have an idea.” James said as soon as the two arrived home, while now was afternoon. Pandora was still outside, so it was still just the two of them.

“No.”

“You have so little faith in me, Reg.”

“That's right, Potter.” Regulus replied after placing the bags on the ground, with the food and everything else.

“Just—listen to me.” James said as he stood in front of Regulus with his arms raised, while the boy looked at him in confusion.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to explain what we are going to do.”

“…what?”

“Cooking.” James said smiling as Regulus tilted his head.

“I don't cook.” He said simply, because he had never actually done it. When he lived with his parents, it was always Kreacher who cooked, while in Paris it was always Narcissa. He knew how to cook few things.

“Why not?” James asked sadly,

“Because I don't?”

“But it's fun! Who doesn't love cooking? The heat of the stove! Or tasting things before they are ready, when they are only half-baked creations!!” James said excitedly while Regulus stared at him still quite confused.

“I don't cook.” Regulus repeated again and James pouted slightly.

“We have all the ingredients! And then it will be fun! I bet that as soon as Pandora arrives and she sees everything ready she will be speechless, and then we can finally eat something well made, I also know many of mom's recipes by heart, as long as we decide and—oh.” James said, instantly stopping from his speech, while Regulus stared at him in silence.

“What?”

“The fact is you don't want to cook because you don't know how to cook. Of course you can't cook, with all the elves who cooked for you—”

“Kreacher.” Regulus said softly, but James still managed to hear him.

“Mhm?”

“Kreacher was the only one that really cooked for me.” Regulus said in the same low tone and James understood that it was a complicated topic so he decided to give a gentle smile and speak with measured words.

“So you don't know how to cook because Kreacher has always done it for you and probably still does, or am I wrong?”

“He is—he is not with me, anymore.” The boy said uncertainly and with a still low tone of voice, while James took a slight step forward.

“Kreacher never taught you anything?”

“He—tried. Mother discovered and we never did it again. I—can we please change the subject?” Regulus asked as the memory hurt and of course James nodded.

“Of course, Reg.” James said softly as Regulus looked up at him.

“Don't call me that.” He said reflexively and James smiled.

“You can't still cook.”

“That's not…true.” Regulus lied but James gave him a small smile.

“You don't. And I'm sure of it because Sirius didn't know either and he doesn't know how to cook."

“I know how to cook. I cook. Sometimes.”

“Oh really? What do you cook?”

“Pasta.”

“Pasta?”

“Pasta. Never heard of?” He asked almost defensively as James smiled widely again.

“Of course yes. What kind of pasta can you cook?” He then asked as Regulus furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Who asked what kind of pasta one knew? Actually no, cooking? The only type of pasta that he knew, or rather that he had ever cooked, was carbonara.

“Carbonara.” He said then and James nodded happily turning towards the bags and looking for something, checking three bags, and then taking out a packet of flour, the carton of eggs, the well-wrapped jowls (how the hell did the jowls get there? Regulus was sure he didn't put it there) and turned to Regulus.

“Then we'll make pasta carbonara.”

“I don't want to ruin your happiness but we don't have any pasta, Potter.”

“That's why I took out the flour. What do you think I needed the flour for?” James asked laughing while Regulus looked at him in amazement.

“I won't cook with you.” He said as James simply smiled at him. Again.

After having put down everything they had bought and having also eaten two biscuits at James' specific request, Regulus observed how the boy carefully cleaned the lenses of his glasses with the hem of his shirt and then, after putting them on, he rolled up his sleeves of the shirt and rubbed his hands, turning towards Regulus, who was leaning against the fridge looking bored.

“Are you ready?”

“To go upstairs?”

“For cooking.”

“I thought your vision was bad, but apparently so is your hearing.”

“Very funny.”

“Do what you like. I'm out.” Regulus said as he grabbed a bottle of water and started to leave the room and leave.

“I didn't know you were scared.” James said and that made Regulus stop dead in his tracks, in the doorway.

“I'm not afraid to cook. Who the hell is afraid to cook?” Regulus asked, turning to find a shrugging James.

“Apparently Regulus Black.”

“I'm not.”

“Of course not. That's why you're going upstairs.”

“I know what you're doing. It will not work.” Regulus said as his fingers tightened around the bottle slightly and James' smile grew.

“What am I doing?”

“That.”

“I'm not doing anything”

“It won't work, so stop it.”

“I have no idea what you're saying. I'm just coming to a conclusion—”

“Wrong.”

“—that the gorgeous Regulus Black can't cook.” crooned James as Regulus stared at him for a few seconds before placing the bottle on the table.

“Just because I don't want to cook, that doesn't mean that I don't know how to cook.”

“Prove it.”

“Why should I?”

“Because you're a great liar. But I know when you lie.”

“You don't.”

“I do. And I know that now you're lying because you don't know how to cook.” James said with a happy and satisfied expression as Regulus rolled his eyes but approached the table, where the ingredients were already all ready.

“Okay, you know what? Give it to me and I will show you.”

“All yours.” James said, making room for him as he stood next to him.

“Shut up.”

“As you like.” James said putting his hands in his pockets as Regulus rolled up the sleeves of the shirt he was wearing, and stopped to look at the ingredients that were placed on the table.

He didn't know what to do. He had already cooked the pasta carbonara. With Narcissa. But the pasta was always already ready. The pasta already bought. Who the hell cooked pasta at home when there was ready-made pasta?

“Don't just stand there, Potter. I don't intend to cook for everyone.” Regulus said turning to James who tilted his head happily and nodded, taking his hands out of his pockets and positioning himself next to the boy, folding up his sleeves again and taking the packet of flour, clearly knew that Regulus didn't know what to do, yet not saying anything, happy of being able to cook with the boy who was watching his movements out of the corner of his eye, imitating them a few seconds later.

James placed a pile of flour on the table and began to arrange it as his mother had taught him in the past, forming an empty circle in the center, while Regulus did the same, and then took the carton of eggs and took three of them and began to break them into a container next to him, only taking the yolk while Regulus carefully observed the boy's movements with his eye thing. James looked up at him and Regulus immediately looked away, causing a smile that James tried to hide.

“Should we throw away the white of the egg?” Regulus asked looking at the bowl the boys were putting the white into and James watched anyway before shaking his head.

“We can break a yolk there and make bread with sugar.”

“…bread with sugar?”

“Have you never tried it? Oh my god.” James said scandalized as Regulus looked at him curiously.

“What is bread with sugar?”

“It's one of the best things in the world! Mom always made it for me when I was little. Take like a piece of bread, no wait, first you break some eggs, in our case one yolk is enough, and you mix them well, then you dip the piece of bread well into the beaten eggs and then you put them in the pan and wait for them to cook. Then you put them on the plate and you put sugar on them and boom! Best breakfast in the world.” James said with a light in his eyes that made Regulus feel a feeling in his stomach, which he pointedly decided to ignore.

“That's a dish I've never tried.”

“I'm here on purpose! Unfortunately they won't be as good as Mom's, Mom makes them perfect, but mine taste great too!”

“Aren't…the eggs going to be ruined until tomorrow?”

“Probably, but we certainly won't do them tomorrow! I'll make them this evening, for dessert!”

“A breakfast dish for dessert?”

“Of course! Lee forced Mom, with a sweet smile that she couldn't say no to, to always give her in the evenings.”

“Lee?” Regulus asked throwing away the last eggshell while James nodded.

“Marlene. Lee. I call her Lee. She calls me Jams because I once stained her blanket with strawberry jam toast.”

“Of course.”

“It was her fault!” James said turning to Regulus who shrugged.

“Yeah, I don't believe that.”

“You never believe me, Reg.” James said pouting while Regulus nodded agreeing with him.

“I wonder why.”

“And I never lied to you either!”

“Sure.”

“I didn't.” James said taking some flour and playfully throwing it on his shirt while Regulus looked down at the now dirty shirt.

“You didn't.” Regulus said looking at the white car on his black shirt and looking up at James, who was looking at him with an amused look, his hand still dirty with flour.

“Well, I did.”

“You're dead.” Regulus said taking a lot more flour than James had thrown at him and throwing it at him.

“Oi!” The boy complained, looking at his practically white t-shirt while Regulus was shaking the flour from his hands with a satisfied look.

“You started and I finished, as it should be.”

“Do you want war, Reg? Then a war it is!” James said taking flour directly from inside the package and throwing it at Regulus who looked at him in horror.

“You—” Regulus said before taking more flour and throwing it at James, who tried, in vain, to move away, and took the full blow. “Don't start a war you can't finish, Potter.” Regulus then added by throwing more flour at him again, while James couldn't help but laugh and try to return the favor and even managed to hit Regulus, who made a frustrated sound.

“I never start something if I can't finish it!” James said laughing as he tried to see through the lenses of his glasses, which were now white, while Regulus took advantage of this and came even closer to throw (and succeeded) a good handful of flour in his hair. Regulus came even closer trying to throw even more flour at him than he had done but James raised his hand in the confusion and white dust and managed to grab the wrist of the boy, who was holding his fist tight so as not to drop the more supplies he had taken, which were now practically stuck to him, and more flour fell on both of them, like snowflakes. James looked down, able to see through a part of his glasses that wasn't covered in flour, and met Regulus's gaze, standing there staring at him, his hand still holding the boy's wrist. He had never been so close to Regulus, who had a look of confusion and a hint of amusement at the same time.

“Great.” Regulus said with a sigh as flour fell from his curls. James noticed that he smelled of musk. The same musk that was in the Forbidden Forest that he always smelled around dawn after the full moon. The same smell that filled his lungs with a feeling of…freedom. He looked down and caught sight of Regulus, who looked back confusedly, his wrist still in James' hand.

“You have flour in your hair.” James said stupidly as Regulus furrowed his eyebrows.

“No shit, really?” The boy said in response with a low tone of voice, rolling his eyes, and a half smile on his face as he tried to keep himself balanced, trying to find the axis that was now tilted towards James.

“I thought it was important to let you know.” James said causing Regulus to roll his eyes, but he was now smiling. He was smiling. James had managed to make him smile and cover him in flour. “Are you smiling?” He then added and Regulus simply scoffed as he freed himself from his grip and took a step back.

“No.”

“Did I just make you smile? The gorgeous Reggie Black is smiling because of me?” James asked earning more flour on his face while Regulus lowered his head and the flour fell to the floor, still remaining in the curls, which now looked grey.

“Shut up.” Regulus said running a hand through his hair trying to get the flour out while James did the same, cleaning his glasses.

“I won't. I'm going to—”

“Clean the mess, yeah.” Regulus completed with a smile still on his face as James looked at him in surprise

“I won't. You did this!”

“What? I didn't. You started!”

“But you finished!”

“Pandora is going to kill us.”

“Not if we finish cooking the pasta and then clean up. It's just…” James said, raising his hand but seeing that his watch always showed 11:11, he turned towards the wall. “Only 5pm. It will be a walk in the park.”

“I don't know how to make pasta.” Regulus said instead looking at what would later become the dough while James smiled.

“Yeah, I figured it out.”

“Yeah, shut up.” Regulus replied imitating James' voice, causing the boy to laugh as he pushed his glasses back upright and approached the table.

“I will teach you how to make the best pasta in the world.”

“Who knows why I doubt it.” Regulus said with a still tired but at the same time amused expression.

“We need to mix the flour and eggs first. In this way.” James said as he felt Regulus' gaze on his hands, before he repeated what he was doing as well.

“Then we have to let it rest for at least 10 minutes.”

“In which you will clean up the mess. Understood.” Regulus said nodding as James tossed him the flour he had just picked up.

“We will do it together.”

“I hate you.” Regulus said with a sigh but still starting to help him.

“Yeah, I know.” James said as he walked up to him and nudged him affectionately on the shoulder with his shoulder and Regulus rolled his eyes. However, he didn't flinch from his touch. James couldn't hide his happiness as they cleaned.

As soon as Regulus slowly walked down the stairs, after having taken a quick shower and having removed all the flour he had on, he was hit by the smell of jowls that was cooking and headed towards the kitchen, seeing a James Potter, who had gone to wash before Regulus, who was currently dancing and humming a tune as he mixed the jowls that was cooking, the water that was getting hotter and hotter, and the already cut slices of bread.

“Oooooh, love. Oooh, lover boyyy, what're you doing tonight? Hey boy! Set my alarm, turn on my charm, that's because I'm—” James sang, doing a pirouette, with the spatula being used as a microphone, and finding himself in front of Regulus, who was leaning against the door and looking at him with a curious look. “Reg! Shit, you scared me.” The boy said with a nervous laugh, brushing his hair off his forehead as Regulus tilted his head.

“No, please, continue. What was again? Turn on your charm, James, please.” Regulus said with a smile as James looked at him in surprise. It was at least the third time Regulus had smiled at him that day.

“You're making fun of me!” James complained as Regulus shrugged,

“I would never dare, lover boy.” Regulus continued while James looked at him with a fake pout

“It's Queen!” The boy said and Regulus smiled,

“I know.”

“Wait, do you like Queen?”

“James—”

“What—”

“James.”

“Sirius knows? Because—”

“James, the food!”

“The—oh my god. The food!” The boy said, turning quickly and quickly turning off the bacon which was definitely more than cooked. “I'm—” he started to apologize but the sentence was interrupted by Regulus's laughter, which immediately attracted his attention, making him suddenly turn towards him again, forgetting what he wanted to say and remaining frozen in place looking at the minor, who stopped laughing almost instantly, seeing the look in his eyes.

“Sorry. It was just—”

“Don't be. I'm not.” James said, interrupting Regulus who looked up and the two stood there staring at each other for what seemed like minutes, hours, days and months, before Regulus quickly looked away, clearing his throat.

“I think the water is boiling.”

“Yeah.”

“…shouldn't you put the pasta?” Regulus asked and James nodded, however not moving.

“Yeah, sorry.” James said with a half laugh, as Regulus approached him and took the container that contained the pasta to put it inside under the gaze of James, who quickly stopped him to adding the salt to the water and then motioning to the boy, so that he could add the pasta.

“How long will it be before it's ready?”

“10 minutes. Maybe a few more. It usually takes longer to cook this than the one you bought.”

“What can I do?” Regulus asked turning to the boy.

“You can—er—beat the eggs for the gravy, yes.” James said making room for him but still paying attention to the slices of bread that were already cooking. Regulus approached and began to do as he was told in silence.

“Do you want to try?” James asked after a few minutes, then taking the first ready slice of bread and placing it on the plate, while the boy next to him observed his movements, having now finished.

“Can I?” Regulus said involuntarily ruffling his eyebrows while James nodded.

“I want you to do it.” He said simply as Regulus reached out and took the small piece James was handing him, putting it in his mouth and starting to chew, under the now anxious gaze of the bespectacled man. “So? How is it? Is it good? I haven't done them in a while and—”

“Well—”

“—and I don't know, maybe it needed more sugar or something, but—”

“James.” Regulus said with a sigh and James stopped instantly. Oh, he sure didn't like it.

“If you don’t like, it’s fine. Really.”

“If you let me—”

“I mean, Mary doesn’t like it neither so—”

“Okay, James, Shut up, can you? Just for a second.” Regulus said in a firm tone and James immediately closed his mouth. Well, he definitely didn't like them.

“Sorry.”

“Stop saying that you're sorry, please. It's—stop.”

“Okay.”

“Good.” Regulus said nodding with a sigh and James stared at him confusedly before clearing his throat.

“Did you like it?” He asked in a lower tone of voice and Regulus looked at him for a few seconds, before saying,

“It's the best breakfast-dessert I have had.” Regulus said slowly and oh, James' head shot up, his eyes lighting up and a huge smile on his face.

“Really? Do you like it?” He asked and Regulus nodded, giving him a small, imperceptible smile.

“I do. But. Don't let it go to your head now.” He added but by now James was too happy and ignored him. “Ah, here he is.” Regulus added with a sigh, observing how the boy in front of him had changed, proud of himself.

“I'm so good at this. I knew it.”

“No, you didn't.”

“It was just a second, but in my heart I knew that—”

“Oh, shut it. Forget what I said for good.”

“—I was a great chef!” James concluded and Regulus shook his head rolling his eyes.

“You were sweating cold until two seconds ago.”

“Slightly exaggerated.”

“Slightly exaggerated?” Regulus asked surprised but before James could answer, a full smile on his face, they both heard the front door open and a few seconds later, Pandora appeared on the threshold of the door, smiling widely.

“Guess who's back?” asked the girl taking off the violin case while James turned and quickly mixed the pasta, which now seemed ready, so he quickly drained it.

“Hi, Dora.” Regulus said as his friend quickly hugged him.

“Guys. Can you please help me?” James asked in slight difficulty, his hands all full as he tried to put the eggs inside the pot and turn the other things.

“What do you say, do we help him? asked Pandora laughing and the two joined him the next moment.

Another thing James Potter apparently knew how to do was cook. Cook well, to be precise. It may have been due to all the hunger that had accumulated in those days, or the fact that Regulus hadn't eaten a hot dish for quite a while, but it was one of the best pasta dishes he had tasted.

“Once again James, you have outdone yourself.” Pandora said as she took another forkful of James' terribly creamy and tasty pasta, which he smiled at her.

“Thank you, Pan.” The boy said, glancing curiously at Regulus, who however was focused on his plate.

“So. I have news!” Pandora said after a few seconds, and both boys turned to her, curious.

“Did anyone die?” asked Regulus flatly and Pandora looked at him with an expression that clearly said «Stop.» at the highest levels. The boy rolled his eyes with a slight smile and returned to his plate.

“So? The news?” James asked curiously and Pandora turned to him smiling.

“You see? This is the right enthusiasm. You should at least pretend to be like him!”

“Okay, wait. Let me do it again.” Regulus said turning towards her and with such a happy and enthusiastic expression that James chuckled “Tell me everything, dear. I'm so curious!”

“I'll never understand how you married him, James.”

“Love.” James said winking at Regulus who rolled his eyes.

“Anyway. Guess who I saw at the conservatory today? None other than Slughorn!”

“Wait, Slughorn? Really?” James asked as Pandora nodded.

“Obviously as soon as I saw him he immediately asked me about Regulus. I can tell you're his favorite student, Reggie. I mean. Everyone can.”

“Mhm.” Regulus said absentmindedly as he picked up the glass and took a sip of water.

“So I told him about how you and James went to France and he was upset that he wasn't invited to your wedding, even though I made it clear to him that no one was invited, like me.”

“About that—” James began with a regretful look, even though no marriage had actually taken place and he and Regulus were not married.

“Yeah, I know. A private event. Anyway. I talked to him, and when I told him you were back you can't imagine how his face lit up! His best piano student had finally returned.” Pandora continued and James noticed that Regulus' fingers had closed slightly tighter on the fork.

“And guess what he told me? He said he would go and speak to the principal himself to get you back on the courses! Obviously they are already paid given the scholarship, and the professor told me that in any case he would take care of it if other problems arose. Are not you happy? Finally you can return and it will be like the old days! You and me going there in the morning and then James—”

“No.” Regulus said without looking up from his plate in a calm tone, which made Pandora's plans stop, and she turned to him in confusion.

“No? What do you mean no?”

“I won't do it. I'm sorry.”

“Are you serious?”

“I won't go—comeback.”

“What? Why? You love music. You love playing! It's literally—”

“I don't play anymore.” Regulus said coldly with his gaze still on his plate, while James noticed that he had suddenly stiffened.

“You don't—what do you mean you don't play anymore?” asked Pandora, first giving a confused look to James and then turning to her friend.

“I don't play anymore. It's not a big deal.” Regulus said as Pandora made a garbled sound.

“It's not a big deal? Of course it's a big deal, Reggie!”

“Can you please stop it?” asked Regulus slowly and Pandora looked at him in surprise.

“Okay, I don't understand. Something has happened? Because before you were one of the—”

“I don't play the piano and I'll never play it again, so drop it, for fuck's sake.” Regulus said in a terribly cold tone as he placed his fork on the table and the girl suddenly closed her mouth, silence now falling on the room.

“Reg…” James said in a whisper but Regulus shrugged.

“Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.” He said before suddenly getting up, causing the chair to drag forcefully, and leaving the next moment, leaving the two boys sitting at the table.

“Did something happen?” Pandora asked, turning to James, who was looking in the direction Regulus had disappeared.

“I don't know?”

“I didn't know. I'm—I'm sorry?”

“It's fine. He is fine. Don't worry. I'll talk to him, okay?”

“Yeah. Of course. You're the only one he talks to. I know. I just thought…it was a good day? And that he would be happy to play again.” Pandora said softly and James squeezed her hand quickly.

“He is just tired.”

“Yeah.” She nodded, before getting up and starting to clear the table. “Can you tell him that I'm sorry about this? When you talk to him.”

“Of course, Pan.” James said with a reassuring smile as the girl nodded silently.

James found Regulus after at least a quarter of an hour, where he honestly never expected to find him, that is, sitting on the edge of a huge pool, which was filled with blue light, the water moving imperceptibly under the wind while Regulus was looking at the water in silence.

“Oh Merlin, is that a pool?” asked James coming out and making Regulus raise his head who looked first at the pool and then at James.

“I think so.” Regulus said resting his head on his knees, which were currently close to his chest.

“I've always wanted a pool, you know?” James said enthusiastically as Regulus smiled which disappeared almost immediately.

“Oh really?”

“Duh! I mean…you know what could I do in a pool?” James continued, seeing that Regulus had now softened slightly and was looking at him amused.

“…swim?” asked the boy and James furrowed his eyebrows, looking at the pool

“Well. Yes. But I'll swim in a pool! How long has it been there?”

“I only saw it ten minutes ago when I left.”

“It's decided. I will swim, or rather we will swim in this pool as soon as possible.”

“It's October, James.”

“October it's just a month.”

“And age is just a number, right?” Regulus asked with a smile while James did the same.

“Exactly. See? You get me.”

“You're not going to swim in the pool.”

“Why not?”

“Because i won't let you get pneumonia just because you want to swim in the pool.”

“Oh. Because you care about me. Get it.”

“You're an idiot.” Regulus said turning towards the pool as James smiled.

“Can I sit?” He asked then

“If you want to.” Regulus replied and James of course sat down next to him.

“I brought you dessert. It's still warm.” The boy said, handing the plate to Regulus, who took it and placed it between the two, breaking the hot bread with sugar in half.

“Will you eat with me?”

“Thank you.” James replied, taking a piece from the half that Regulus wasn't eating and turning towards the pool.

After the two were finished, Regulus sighed.

“I'm sorry for what happened. I was—I was being cruel.”

“No, you weren't, Reg.” James said dolefully and Regulus gave him a quick look before turning back towards the pool.

“I was. To Dora and…to you. And—I'm sorry.”

“I'm not here for, you know, to blame you or anything. I'm here because I'm slightly worried and because there is a swimming pool.” James said and Regulus smiled.

“Of course you're here for the pool.” The boy said with a tired half laugh and James looked at him carefully.

“You'll be curious why I reacted that way.” He said after a while of silence.

“Should I be honest?”

“Mhm.”

“I'm slightly curious yes. But if you don't want to tell me why, you don't have to.”

“Of course you would have said that.” Regulus said as he brought his knees closer to his chest and rested his head on them, the position he had taken before. “I have played the piano for many years, since I was little, you know?”

“Sirius told me. In our first yeah he said that you loved the piano more than him.”

“Because it's true.” Regulus said and James smiled.

“Of course.”

“The—the last time I played was the day before I ran away with Cissy. To my Father.” Regulus said slowly.

“Oh.”

“Sirius probably told you that he wasn't a great father.”

“He did.”

“And—and it's true. He wasn't a great father. Of course not. I will be lying if I would say that, especially with Sirius. But with me? He tried. He…almost cared, you know? Even if he did nothing to stop Mother when she—well, you know the stories.”

“Really?” James asked softly and Regulus nodded.

“When I was younger, he used to take me out with him. Me. To go for a walk. Just him and me, as a secret, of course. He would tell Mother that we went out to train with magic. And then, we didn't.”

“What did you do?”

“Walked. Like normal people. Talking about music and poetry. He really liked those things. My Mother didn't like the piano. My Father did. That's why I started to play it. One time…when I was like 8, I heard him fight with her for the piano, and she never, ever, after that fight, complained about it. Every night, after dinner, he asked me to play for the family…for him. And I did. Because I liked it. He taught me how to play.” Regulus said as he squeezed his knees together slightly, before loosening his grip.

“Oh.”

“He didn't do those things with Sirius. But with me…he did. When…after Sirius ran away from you, he stopped. He didn't talk to me anymore. We didn't go for a walk like we always did. He just listened to me playing at the piano his favorite song by him that eventually became mine, until it wasn't.”

“What song was it?”

“Sonata No. 14 as known as Moonlight.” Regulus said and James nodded. He knew that piece.

“Beethoven?”

“Yeah. Beethoven. I didn’t know you knew him.” Regulus said turning to James with a sad smile and James just wanted to lean in closer to hug him but he didn't.

“Everybody knows Beethoven.”

“I suppose.” Said Regulus, and then, “That was the only time when we were alone. Just us. Mother never listened to me playing unless my Father told her to do. But then, the day before I escaped with Cissy, he came and asked me to go with him. And…he knew. He knew me and Cissy wanted to escape. He wasn't stupid. After we go for that walk, before we go home, he hugged me. I mean, he really hugged me. It was one of the first times. And…he said that he was proud of me, and he was disappointed with himself for not being a good father for me or for Sirius. And you know what I said?”

“You forgive him.” James said softly and Regulus nodded.

“I forgive him. For everything. He asked me to forgive him and I did, neither limits of the possible, obviously. I think—I forgave him for what he did to me, but not for what he did to Sirius. I hate him for what he did to him. But at the same time—”

“You can't really hate him.” James concluded and Regulus nodded again. “And that's why you stopped playing.”

“Because every time I try to play, because I did, the memories come back and—I just can't.”

“It's fine, Reg.”

“The piano is here.”

“What?”

“The same piano. The piano I played when I was little. It's here. In one of the rooms. I would recognize it anywhere.”

“And—how do you feel about that?”

“I don't know. For what I know—I mean, I don't even know why I told you all of this. You probably don't care.”

“I do. I care, Reg.” James said as he slowly approached and Regulus turned to look at him, before looking up at the sky.

“Thank you for the breakfast-dessert, James.”

“Maybe one day you'll cook for me a breakfast-dinner too.”

“Let's not exaggerate now” Regulus said and James chuckled.

“You're right.”

“Mhm.” Approved Regulus. “I should probably apologize to Dora.”

“I can come with you, if you want.”

“Thank you.”

“When you want, Reg.”

“Can we—just stay two more minutes?”

“We can stay here for all night, Reg. I'll do what you’ll do.”

“I'm not going to swim in the pool though.” 

“Ugh, except for that.” Said James smiled and Regulus laughed softly.

Regulus eventually apologized to Pandora and everything then proceeded smoothly. A few days passed and Regulus and James were slowly getting used to the whole context, looking for a thousand ways to understand what to do and how to get home. Every morning James got up early and went out for a run, and Regulus stayed in bed, pretending to be asleep.

He hadn't slept for days. He just… couldn't. Every time he tried to close his eyes he heard Sirius or Narcissa's voice and couldn't get them out of his head, so when he heard James get up he closed his eyes and waited until he came out, and then he still couldn't fall asleep.

One day he decided to try something different. If his human mind wouldn't let him sleep, did his non-human mind do the same? So he waited for James to get up and go to the bathroom, then left the room after muttering, as usual, “See you later, Reg.” And close the door slowly behind him.

Regulus opened his eyes and got up from the bed, so he could do so. What was certain, in the days that followed that moment, was that neither James nor he could use magic. Their wands didn't work so they sat in their pockets silently. They had also tried other things, but all in vain. The magic seemed to have disappeared from their veins.

Since they had been there, Regulus had never attempted to take his Animagus form. The idea had come to him the evening before, when Pandora had told the two boys about how a cat had been found inside the conservatory with a broken paw and saved and had now become the mascot that everyone loved there. They even gave him a name, Romeo. A white Persian cat named Romeo who Pandora was obviously trying to adopt, already being well underway, as she always said.

Regulus had become an Animagus when he was nearing the end of his fourth year, with the help of Narcissa, who he had discovered was also an illegal Animagus. So, after having managed to convince his cousin to help him, and having convinced her parents that spending much more time with her would have been useful to him, in the summer of '75, Regulus managed to become an Animagus. To be exact, a cat. A black cat. Narcissa was instead a white peacock. Obviously.

It had already happened that Regulus couldn't sleep, especially at Hogwarts, on the worst days. And him being transformed into a cat, not always, but sometimes it helped. So he concentrated and after a few seconds, he felt the tips of his fingers begin to tingle, the familiar tingling spreading across the entire palm of his hand, before the muscles began to slowly tighten and the blood slowed, taking on the rhythm of the heartbeat, the vision that gradually became more acute, and the boy took the shape of a black cat.

“So the magic isn't gone.” Regulus thought as he turned his head to see that he was in fact a cat. After all, he even felt better. He was always like this. His body felt calmer, softer, more… right. He looked around the room and saw details that obviously he couldn't see with the human eye. Like the dust that had accumulated more in a corner, or the small cuts that were on his furniture. He could even hear the beating of wings in the distance coming from outside, as the wind tried to cover him. So, with that noise that had invaded his ears he closed his eyelids, while he felt the tiredness slowly reaching him, as it spread through his limbs, the thoughts buried in the human part that was now inhibited.

It turned out that Regulus was actually exhausted, as he fell asleep seconds later. And he would certainly have slept more, if only in that world too, luck hadn't had fun with him. In fact, after what was, about 20 minutes? But neither, the door suddenly opened and Pandora appeared.

“Hey, Reggie, I—” the girl said, but stopped short when she saw that Regulus wasn't there, but instead was a black cat, who opened his eyes suddenly, and the next second, his paws widened and that cat became Regulus, who opened his eyes wide, mentally striking himself, while Pandora opened her eyes wide staring at him. “What the—okay, what was that?” The girl asked as Regulus slowly got up from the bed, and she took a step back. Great.

“I—I can explain, Dora.” Regulus said and Pandora laughed, because what the heck? Was her best friend a cat? And was he the cat? How was this possible? Was she dreaming?

“I'm dreaming right? Of course I'm dreaming. I mean—Regulus is a cat? That's—I—”

“Dora—”

“I—tell me I'm dreaming. Because if it doesn't, I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy, it's clear." Pandora said taking a step back while Regulus simultaneously took a step forward.

“I—you're not going crazy. I promise you." Regulus said raising his hands while Pandora looked at him with a strange expression on her face.

“Really? Because I just saw a cat on the bed that looked like you and now you're here, that cat gone and—”

“I can explain. I swear.”

“I'm not going crazy.” Pandora said and Regulus nodded.

“You're not going crazy.”

“What the fuck Reggie? I—” said Pandora laughing again, because how could she not?

“I'll explain everything step by step, I promise, just—listen to me okay? Please."

“James knows about this? About—whatever happened?”

“Yes. I mean, not that. It's fine, I swear. I'm not a—”

“A wizard? Well, I know Regulus, thank you. Wizards don't exist." Pandora said as Regulus let out a sigh.

“Well, I'm not sure of that?”

“That's a joke. I—okay, I need a drink. Of everything.”

"I accompany you." Regulus said taking a step forward as Pandora took another step back and Regulus stopped. It was the first time Pandora had walked away from him. And he wasn't pleasant at all.

“If that's a joke—”

“It's not. I—I promised.” Regulus said, raising his hands in the air again, to show Pandora that he had no things on him, while the girl's gaze was only fixed on his face. “I'll tell you everything, okay? I just—I just ask you to—open your mind?” Regulus said uncertainly as Pandora stared at him in silence, before nodding. “What—” Regulus started to say, before clearing his throat and starting again. “What do you think about magic and different worlds?”

“Different worlds?” Pandora asked and Regulus nodded.

“Yeah.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Um…fuck. Okay, you're not gonna believe this but—”

“Regulus. I just saw my best friend transform from a cat to a person. I think I can believe you better than you think. So, try me.” Pandora said and Regulus smiled nervously. He didn't think he would ever say it or even think it, but he missed James in that moment. He needed James. Surely he would have found some way to say things better or made up something else? Merlin, why wasn't James Potter there when he needed him? So he sighed and went down the stairs, followed by Pandora who still walked close to him, silently thanking whoever had put him in that situation.