Faded with you

James didn't want to sleep. It was a decision he had made during the night, and he intended to keep his promise. The only problem was the fact that he was tired and was fighting his eyes not to close and the fact that he was sitting on the bench quite comfortably wasn't helping.

At a certain point in the night, Regulus had gotten up and gone to sit on the bench, so that he could rest his back on it while the usual shoulder pain he had had already begun to make itself felt because he had actually been standing all the day. James had looked up at him confusedly and when Regulus rolled his eyes and moved towards the right of the bench, James had also gotten up and sat next to him with a slight smile, which Regulus decided to ignore.

But the moment James' eyes actually closed, for a few seconds really, they opened wide the next moment, when something, or rather someone, landed on his shoulder with a light thump making him freeze for a second because the only person next to him was Regulus, and Regulus would never rest his head on James' shoulder. After a few seconds James decided to move his head slightly to actually see what had happened, and was pleasantly surprised to see that Regulus' head was actually now resting on his shoulder, while his black curls brushed his neck delicately, and Regulus had eyes closed.

Regulus was sleeping. And he was sleeping on James, who couldn't help but smile sweetly, watching as the younger boy's chest rose and fell slowly and calmly and as the position he usually had, which was straight and collected, never anything out of place, was forgotten in that moment, shoulders soft and the expression relaxed on his face.

“I bet if you were awake now you probably would have hit me.” James said in a whisper as Regulus simply made himself more comfortable, the green tie in his hands. “Or insult me. Or you would have rolled your eyes like you always like to do.” James said with a smile as Regulus let out a soft sigh. “Or—”

“Shut up.” The boy said in surprise, not opening his eyes as James gave a light, barely audible laugh.

“So you're listening to me.”

“Shut. Up.” Regulus repeated in a sleepy but still very clear voice as James smiled again.

“Sooo mean.” He said as Regulus began to breathe calmly again like he was doing before, while James rested his cheek on the boy's curls. “Goodnight, Reg.” He whispered, remaining with his eyes open for a little longer, and then falling asleep with a smile on his face while their hearts began to beat at the same time in the silence of the dark.

“You say they slept here all night?” Mirabel whispered to Oliver, while the two were watching the two boys, sitting on their usual bench, sleeping peacefully, one's head on top of the other's.

“I really think so.”

“What are we going to do? Do we wake them up now, or do we let them sleep?” The woman asked tilting her head with a slight smile as she watched the two boys continue to sleep undisturbed.

“We wake them up for a good cause in the end, right? You can't start a good day without having a nice breakfast and we know how good Remus' muffins are.”

“Okay, then I'll go?”

“Do you want me to do it, darling?”

“Yes, so maybe you'll even scare them.” The woman said while the man rolled his eyes but not without smiling affectionately at her wife.

“James?” Mirabel said kindly without getting any response, and after a look of encouragement from her husband, she reached out her hand and placed it on the shoulder not occupied by Regulus' head. “James? Come on, wake up, darling.”

“Five minutes, Moony.” James replied softly, pushing slightly towards Regulus, who made a sound of annoyance, but still didn't move.

“I'm not…Noony? Moony? I'm Mirabel, remember? Yesterday's woman?” The woman said softly with a laugh while the next moment, the first to open his eyes was not James, but Regulus, who quickly moved his hand to his wand raising his head quickly with his eyes now wide open as they adjusted to the light, making James's head, which had been resting there the moment before, fell and he woke up the next moment in a daze. “Oh, good morning guys,” Mirabel added as James turned to Regulus, feeling that the boy next to him had now stiffened, and his hand was still on the wand in his left pocket.

“Reg.” James said in a more alert tone than before and lower to Regulus, who had not yet moved, the position ready to stand up and curse anyone. James recognized that position. It was the same one Sirius took the first time James woke him up during their first year, even earning him a curse the next moment. Sirius had told him that the only time anyone had woken him up so close was his mother, and when she did it it was always for bad reasons. In fact he must have already been awake when Walpurga entered the room. And when it didn't happen…she made sure it didn't happen again for a long time.

Regulus didn't move an inch, his gaze still fixed on the hands of the two elders, who were smiling kindly while James smiled at them with an apologetic expression, even if there really wasn't much to apologize for. “Reg.” James repeated now more slowly as Regulus blinked and lowered his hand from his wand, putting on a smile that James clearly understood was a fake one and nodding to Oliver, who smiled apologetically, while James made an expression of slight confusion as he adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

“I'm sorry if we scared you, dears.” Oliver said as James shifted his gaze to them.

“No problem, we fell asleep while studying, unfortunately.” James said, saying the first thing that came to mind as Regulus made a sound of disagreement next to him, now the rigid position from before less seen.

“Oh yes, studying.” Mirabel said with a half laugh as James gave a slightly sheepish smile and Regulus rolled his eyes, the fake smile now less noticeable than before.

“We woke you up to ask if you would like to come with us for breakfast.”

“Oh.” James said in surprise, glancing quickly at Regulus, who didn't respond or look back at James.

“If you want of course. We know a great coffee shop and Remus makes the best muffins you'll ever eat, I swear.” And as Mirabel said those words Regulus shrugged his shoulders while James did the same.

“Remus?” Regulus asked as James quickly looked down at his hands. How many Remus could there be in the world? Especially on that occasion? That Remus worked in a cafeteria. His Remus didn't work in a cafeteria. That Remus made the best muffins there were. His Remus didn't eat muffins unless Sirius brought him one personally. That Remus was there. His Remus… he didn't know.

“Remus Lupin. The cafeteria is his and it is the best in town. Come on, we'll buy you breakfast, to apologize for waking you up.”

“Thanks but there's no need. We certainly don't want to disturb you.” Regulus said seeing that James was suddenly silent, which he didn't think was possible.

“Oh no, please. Quite the opposite.” Mirabel said while Regulus glanced at James, because actually between the two it was his job, to socialize with others, not his. He quickly shook his head to get that thought out of his mind because they were definitely not a duo.

“Potter?” Regulus said in a questioning tone but James didn't look up, now immersed in his thoughts.

“See you in front of the cafeteria in 5 minutes then?” Oliver asked after a few seconds of silence as Regulus nodded and the two walked away.

“Potter, are you okay?” Regulus asked, turning to James, who nodded silently. “Bullshit. Usually you can't stop talking, I have to insult you to keep you quiet actually.”

“The cafeteria is Remus's.” James said after a few seconds of silence as Regulus let out a soft sigh.

“…are you afraid that he won't recognize you?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps? Sorry, it's stupid.” James said as he stood up and adjusted his glasses as Regulus looked at him, studying him and getting up from the bench as well.

“Potter—”

“They are waiting for us.”

“Who cares. If you don't want to go, then we are not going.”

“I'm fine. It's just—”

“That one of your best friend may not recognize you and may not remember anything about your time together.” Regulus said as Barty's gentle expression appeared before his eyes again, but he waved it away with a shrug of his shoulders.

“I'm fine.”

“You're not.”

“They're waiting for us and honestly I'm hungry.”

“Potter—”

“C’mon, It's rude to leave someone waiting.” James said with a sudden smile interrupting him and heading the next moment towards the two gentlemen who were waiting for them at the end of the street while Regulus rolled his eyes and let out a sigh.

The cafeteria wasn't that far from the park. It wasn't very big either, but it wasn't small either. It was right. It had colors that ranged from black, to gold, to white and even shades of purple, which tied it all together perfectly. From the outside you could see the tables, most of them full, both inside and outside, already quite full, with people talking, laughing, reading and one girl was even crying while another boy hugged her tightly. Around the entrance there were plants that intertwined with the black of the door, and white flowers that bent delicately. Mirabel and Oliver went inside while James and Regulus stayed slightly behind, observing the building.

“It's really nice.” James said as Regulus nodded slightly next to him.

“If he doesn't recognize you, he won't recognize me either. So you won't be alone.” Regulus said looking ahead as the two went inside.

The cafeteria inside was even more beautiful than the outside. There was something...warm about it, the smell of sweets, croissants, freshly baked muffins immediately filled your nostrils, as did the smell of coffee. The lights, which had shades of yellow, were on, even though the sun was already rising outside. The tables were different from each other, and they all took the shape of a different musical instrument, like a piano, or a guitar, or a violin, or even a double bass, etc... At the back of the room there was a huge library, full of books, old and new, and in other languages. Regulus distinguished some in French, Italian or even Latin. There were leather sofas, but also chairs, both of which were already half full. Light music could be heard in the background, which was neither too loud, so as not to be annoying, nor too soft, so that it could not be ignored. However, both boys did not recognize the girl who was singing. Mirabel and Oliver headed towards the table that was shaped like a violin and Regulus started to follow them, but he stopped the moment James spoke.

“I know.” He said in a lower voice than before and Regulus turned to him, not expecting a response to what he said earlier. “I'm with you.” James added, giving him a slight smile while Regulus didn't know what to say for a few seconds, before shrugging and clearing his throat.

“They are waiting for us.”

“Weren't you the one who didn't care?”

“It's called Bon Ton, Potter.” Regulus said as James smiled widely at him.

“Yeah, of course. Bon thon.”

“Bon Ton.”

“That’s what I said. Bon thon.”

“You're saying it wrong.”

“How? I'm saying the same thing that you're saying!”

“No. You say Bon Thon. It's Bon Ton.”

“Bon Tonh.”

“There is no H.”

“I'm not saying the H!”

“Yes, you are!” Regulus said as he sat down on the sofa in front of Mirabel and Oliver, who were sitting at the table looking at them.

“No, I'm not. Sorry, can I ask you something?” James asked as he sat down next to Regulus and turned to the two elders in front of them, who looked at him with gentle smiles.

“Don't—”

“I think it's important instead. Reg here, says I'm saying a French term wrong, but I'm sure I'm saying it right, so I'd like to ask for an outside opinion.”

“You're so stupid.” Regulus muttered under his breath as James adjusted his glasses. Regulus rolled his eyes and added “And don't call me Reg.”

“You're lucky James, Oliver is French too.”

“Really?” James asked in surprise as Regulus rested his back on the loveseat.

“Of course.”

"Oh good. The term is Bon Tonh.” James said while Oliver made an involuntary grimace which caught Regulus' attention.

“Well, it's…” began Oliver who stopped the next moment, not sure what to say.

“Say it.” Regulus said the next moment as Oliver gave James an apologetic expression before saying,

“I think there's no H?” Oliver said as James put both a confused and offended expression on his face.

"See? I told you!” Regulus said happily as James glanced at Oliver, studying him for a few seconds.

“You paid him.”

“What?”

“Yes, I don't believe you. You paid him”

“With what money could I have paid him?” Regulus asked as James crossed his arms over his chest with a shrug.

“Weren't you the rich one?”

“What? I—what?”

“With all the Black heritage and—”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Yeah yeah. Of course. Because I'm right.”

“The day you’re right will be the day I will no longer be here.” Regulus said in such a serious tone that Mirabel let out a laugh while James made an offended noise.

“You're sooo mean.” James said with a half smile resting his head on the sofa, with it turned towards Regulus, who rolled his eyes with a sigh.

After a few minutes of waiting, in which Regulus continued to grumble at James who kept saying that his French pronunciation was better than it actually was, which was quite bad, their argument was interrupted by a voice they both knew all too well.

“Bel and Ver! Here again today?” Remus asked, holding a small notebook and pencil in his hand, as both boys' heads turned in his direction.

Remus was wearing a plain white shirt, the sleeves of which had been folded up so that they just reached his elbows. He was wearing a pair of plain black trousers and over it his cafeteria apron, which was black and gold. The height was the same. A few inches taller than James. The hair was messy, more than usual, and the scars, although much lighter on the boy's skin, were visible and present on his arms, which was strange, given the fact that if Hogwarts didn't exist there, neither did the wizards or the werewolves existed as well.

“Can we ever not come to breakfast?” asked Mirabel with a huge smile as Remus nodded sagely.

“You're right. My bad. The usual?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Pete! The usual!” Remus said with a smile, turning towards the counter, from which Peter emerged, who was dressed the same as Remus, shirt, trousers and apron, but the boy's ash blonde hair was more arranged than Remus's, and the smile was certainly bigger.

“Already in preparation, Rem. Who do you think I am?” Peter replied by tilting his head while Mirabel raised her hand to greet him, a greeting that was immediately returned, but not without the cup he was previously holding in his hand falling and causing Remus to roll his eyes. “My bad. Sorry.” He said with a smile while Mirabel laughed.

“So.” Remus said turning to the table. “Don't tell me they're your grandchildren.” Remus said glancing at Regulus, who was looking at James, and James who was looking in Peter's direction.

“Oh no. We are…friends, right?” Oliver asked as Regulus nodded distractedly, watching as James' stance had changed from relaxed to more stiff and tidy, which was strange for him.

“It's nice to meet you. I'm Remus, he is Peter.” The boy said holding his hand towards James, who however couldn't move for a few seconds, but Regulus was quick and shook it in his place.

“I’m…er, I’m Regulus. He is James.”

“Regulus? Like the star in the lion constellation?”

“You caught me.” Regulus said with a half laugh as James chimed in the next moment.

“You have a beautiful venue, Remus.” He said in a lower voice than normal while the boy in front of him smiled.

“Thank you, James.”

“I need a hand here!” Peter said the next moment and Remus smiled at the two boys.

“Sorry, duty calls. James, Regulus, it was a pleasure meeting you. I hope you will come more often.”

“For us too.” Regulus replied as James nodded silently again, Remus walking away the next moment.

Remus didn't recognize him. Remus didn't know who he was. He was happy to have met him. For the first time. He didn't have to go like this. He must not have been happy to have met him. He already knew him. They had known each other for years. Remus knew James' secrets and James knew him. James spent full moon nights with him and Remus was happy to have just met him. Years and years of knowing each other, disappeared in the words “it's a pleasure to meet you.”

Peter had just smiled at him from afar. His neighbor since he moved from Mexico with his parents. His neighbor since he was just three years old. The first one he had shown to his room. The first one he had his first sleepover with. The first to whom he had confessed his first crush when they were both barely five years old. And—

“James, seriously, let's leave.” Regulus said softly, when for the third time James didn't hear him calling out to him. The boy turned to Regulus and gave him a light, barely visible, smile. James. Regulus had just called him James. Regulus had never called him by his name. To him it had always been…Potter. Never James. And instead…

“You called me James.”

“What?”

“You called me James.” James repeated as Regulus shrugged.

“What am I supposed to call you? Laurie? It's your name.”

“Yeah, but you call me Potter. All the time.”

“That's not true.”

“It is.”

“Potter—”

“See? Potter not James.”

“I call you Potter because we are not friends and because I barely speak to you.”

“That's not true. You speak to me everyday.”

“…in your dreams?” Regulus asked as James laughed.

“Well, mostly you insult me, but you talk to me every day.”

“Don't try to talk things over, Potter.”

“Wasn't my name James?”

“Idiot. Your name is idiot.”

“Your one and only idiot.” James said as Regulus hit his arm and James made a noise of pain.

“I'm fucking serious, if—”

“But that's incest—” James said and of course Regulus hit him again, and again again. “Didn't know you were so violent.” James said rubbing your shoulder as Regulus tilted his head.

“You're lucky my magic doesn't work, Potter.”

“Oh yeah?” James asked with a smile as Regulus rolled his eyes

“We'll see when we get back.” Regulus said hitting him one last time making James laugh, even as the boy continued to rub his arm. “I'm serious, Potter. If—”

“But you're Regulus!”

“Let. Me. Finish. The. Phrases. Cretin. And. Hateful.” Regulus said punctuating each word with a tap on James' arm who had to move away from him slightly, because God, Regulus Black was strong.

“Fine, sorry.”

“Do you want to go away?” Regulus asked the moment he saw that Mirabel and Oliver, who had gotten up earlier, were now walking back to the table.

“I'm fine, Reg.”

“Okay.” He said nodding and then smiling at Mirabel who placed the coffee in front of him with a huge smile.

“Thank you.” James said as Oliver nodded in response as they began breakfast the next moment.

James no longer looked at the counter, at Peter or at Remus for the rest of the breakfast.

After breakfast Mirabel and Oliver had left and the two boys had spent their time exploring the park and the buildings near it, ignoring however those next to the cafeteria at the request of Regulus, who did not intend to let James near them, who, since they left there, he hadn't said a word. Towards the afternoon, however, James had asked if they could go to the mall, to see if there was anything else of importance among all those shops, and despite the fact that Regulus had shrugged his shoulders, he had agreed, so they had headed there.

The boys were currently in the mall where Regulus had met Barty and Evan, sitting on the bench in silence.

Regulus kept thinking about what the hell was going on, while Barty's expression couldn't leave his head, while James kept thinking about Remus and Peter, while absentmindedly playing with his tie.

“Remus was happy to meet me.” James said suddenly, interrupting Regulus's flow of thoughts, who raised his head and turned to him curiously, letting him continue talking. They were the first words he had said in hours. “The first time I met Remus on the train he completely avoided me. Both me and Peter and later also Sirius. We sat in his compartment because he was the only one free, but except for greeting him, he never spoke to us again. He didn't look happy to be there. He didn't seem to be happy to have met us, you know? But now? That Remus? He was happy to meet me. To get to know each other. And—and it's wrong.”

“Wrong?” Regulus asked after a few moments of silence as James nodded, looking up at him.

“Remus wasn't happy to meet me at first. For various reasons, which I can't blame him for but... that's how it is. It must be so. And the fact that things turned out differently… it's not right.” James said as Regulus looked at him carefully, before turning his head to look straight ahead.

“The first time I met Remus, we argued. I don't know if he ever told you.”

“He didn't do it.” James said as Regulus lowered his head and his curls covered his face, before raising his head and giving the faintest of smiles.

“He called me an arrogant, spoiled, selfish, idiot pureblood.” Regulus said as James gave a half laugh.

“Yes, that seems very Remus-like.”

“He is a bastard.” Regulus said fondly as James nodded.

“He is. But it's Remus.”

“Yeah. And if we don't get home, he'll finish the book before me.” Regulus said with a sigh as James stood up, the light from the shops illuminating his face as it was already late afternoon.

“Then let's go get the book.” He said as Regulus looked at him flatly.

“What?”

“I mean, if we buy it now, you can read it and finish it before we come back home and you'll finish it before Remus does.”

“You will surely be amazed by this, but to buy objects, you need to have money.” Regulus said flatly as James smiled, pulling a wad of money out of his pocket.

“But I have money, Reg.”

“How the fuck did you—”

“Oliver. He gave me some money saying to buy some food to eat.”

“…and you want to spend it to buy me a book?”

“Obviously.”

“It's ridiculous.”

“No, it's not. I saw that at the end there is a bookshop. Let's go there and see if they have Marcus.” James said getting the name wrong on purpose as Regulus rolled his eyes.

“It's Maurice.” He said as James smiled again.

“I know.” He said softly as Regulus still sat there, unsure whether to follow him or not.

“Potter.”

“C'mon. We buy the book and then we can go and eat something. And then, tomorrow, we'll get to work properly.”

“I—”

“Please?”

“What?”

“Can we go to the bookshop?” He asked James with a smile.

“Are you serious right now? Don't you dare.” Regulus asked, adding the last sentence with such a serious look that James threw his hands in the air because he was definitely not making Sirius' joke.

“I'm always serious.”

“You. You're never serious. Like, you're the most non-serious person that I know. Well, expect Barty.”

“Let me buy you a book.”

“No.”

“C'mon. Please. Please, please, super duper crazy stupid please.” James said as Regulus rolled his eyes again.

“Aren't you hungry?”

“Not really. C'mon. Pretty please?”

“That's stupid.” Regulus said as he slowly stood up as James' smile widened even more. “Stop smiling.”

“Why?”

“Because I say so.”

“Sooo mean.”

“Shut up.” Regulus said as he began to walk towards the bookcase, while James stood slightly behind watching him, a smile on his face. He had spent two days with Regulus, and the relationship was already improving. Oh, sooner or later James would— “Potter, for fuck's sake, I—”

“I'm coming, sorry.” James said quickly catching up to him as Regulus rolled his eyes in exasperation.

Sooner or later James would be able to find the right strategy to make Regulus fall in love with him. If it were the last thing he would do. Now he had time. If everything was crap, and all his luck was gone, then why not try to take the only luck he hadn't had yet?

“Oh look at this.” James said, taking yet another book in his hand and showing it to Regulus, who continued to look for Maurice boredly. He didn't want to be there. Or at least, he loved going to buy books, but he would have liked to have his money, and go to his bookstore and not with James Potter.

“No.”

“No, no please. This is beautiful. «The Starless Sea».” James said as he read the title and then gently opened the blue cover and quickly read the plot while Regulus quickly glanced at the cover of the book, which was really beautiful. “Reg, this is your book.”

“No, it's not.”

“It is! Read this.” James said eagerly handing it to him as Regulus rolled his eyes but still gently took the book in his hand and read the plot.

Once the plot was over, he shrugged, because yes. It would be a lie if he said otherwise. It was the book he would have chosen. And he didn't like the fact that James knew it.

“It's cute.”

“Oh, I know you love it.” James said, looking first at Regulus's face and then again at the spine of the book, which had a key, a sword and a golden bee around his name, the color of the book dark blue.

“I don't.”

“I'll buy it.”

“No, you won't.”

“But it's the book for you! Stars, Dark Academia, Books, Sea, Stories, c'mon.”

“We don't have money. We came here for another reason. Put that back.”

“But it's your book.” James said simply as Regulus gave him a flat look.

“I don't need you to buy me a book.”

“But I want to buy you a book. And I have reasons that are valid to do that.”

“Oh, yeah. Tell me about them.” Regulus said sarcastically as James simply walked over to him.

“Reason number one.” 

“Wonderful.”

“Well, I never buy you a book.”

“I wonder why.”

“And both Remus and Sirius did.”

“Because one is my brother and the other is my reading buddy.”

“Your reading buddy?” James asked amusedly as Regulus looked at him in silence.

“Shut up.”

“Reason number two.”

“Can you count to two? You surprise me, Potter.”

“And I will continue to do so, don't worry. However. Reason number two.”

“Excited to hear it.” Regulus said flatly as James followed him with the book still in hand.

“I want your favorite book to be the one I bought you.” James continued as Regulus let out a sarcastic laugh, which made James continue with a huge smile. “Reason number three. So when you finish reading it, you can tell me about it.”

“Potter. I don't want the book.”

“But I still have other reasons!”

“Put that back.”

“No. I'm going to buy it to you. It's already decided.”

“I don't need your gift and we don't have money for two books and the dinner.”

“I won't eat then.”

“For fuck's sake. Why are you like this?” Regulus said as James shrugged.

“Because I want to buy your favorite book.” James said in a lower tone as Regulus sighed tiredly.

“Go put the book down, James.”

“But—”

“James.” Regulus repeated and god, why did he have to call him James right then and there?

“I offer you a deal.”

“No.”

“But—”

“I swear—”

“If we can't get home soon, we'll come back here and get it.”

“If I say yes, will you put it down?”

“Pinky promise.” James said raising his pinky as Regulus looked at him more and more flatly.

“What are you, five?”

“Maybe. This or I buy the book.”

“I give you my word.”

“That is nothing. Pinky promises are different.”

“For fuck's sake.” Regulus said as he raised his hand and intertwined his pinky with James', fingers holding a promise and creating a thread that wouldn't break soon.

“Now go put the book down.” Regulus said as he quickly removed his pinky from James's, who smiled softly, looking at his pinky still in the air for a second before lowering it and nodding.

“I will. Maurice is there.” James said pointing to three shelves in front of them as Regulus turned and saw that the book was indeed there.

“You know where it was?”

“I saw it now. I swear.”

“That’s not true. You’re—of course.” Regulus said exasperated as James had already disappeared rolling his eyes, heading towards the shelf to see that the book was the last place there, the practically perfect cover looking back at him.

Regulus reached out slowly stroking the cover of the book. It was the same edition he had. The same edition that Narcissa had given him. The same edition he was reading. However, the moment he stretched out his hand further to take it in his hand, another hand arrived at the same instant, resting just on his, and then quickly withdrawing.

“Oh, I'm so sorry.” said a clear, clear voice with a half laugh. A voice that Regulus knew very well. A voice that had told him stories and in which he had confided. A voice he thought he wouldn't be able to hear anymore. Regulus didn't dare look up, couldn't. If the voice belonged to that person...not being recognized by her too would have made him feel bad. It would make him vomit. “I was listening to music and didn't realize anyone else wanted the same book! In reality I didn't even want to take it, it's just that...you know I have a friend who lives in France with his boyfriend and he told me once that he was reading it and that friend it’s...” said the girl while Regulus looked up slowly, crossing the clear eyes of her best friend, who widened her eyes the next moment. “…you.” 

A pause.

“Reggie?”