Chapter 10
Evan,
I fear this owl will fail to provide you with news you don't already expect.
Following my meeting with Lucius this evening I can confirm we shall be receiving the mark next week for the solstice.
Merry Christmas.
What are the chances we can get away with not telling Barty and keeping him free of this?
See you in hell.
R.A.B.
Reg,
How festive.
No chance at all. We’re going down with you. To the bitter depths.
See you in hell,
Evan.
Reggie,
Nice try love. I’ll be there. I’m bringing Christmas crackers.
See you in hell,
BCJ
Regulus,
I won’t insult you or myself by asking you to change your mind again, I just ask that you try and keep yourself as safe as you can, keep your head down and your wand drawn. Those people will turn on you as easily as they turn on others.
I can see something coming Reg, like a tide, dragging you down but the thing that really scares me? I don't see you fighting it. I see you giving up.
Don't give up. Whatever you have to do, keep fighting.
See you in hell,
Pandora
Harry puts the small collection of letters back into its envelope with a sigh. He can so easily imagine Regulus Black in this room, sat by the windows writing out his last desperate plea for his friend's safety, knowing it to be a fruitless attempt. Harry can feel it in his chest, the deep well of sympathy in his heart for these boys, because as it stands these letters were written by children younger than Harry. Younger than Ginny.
Harry can imagine how easy it must have been for Regulus to succumb to the pull, allow his weary body to be dragged below; how peaceful the water must have felt after the weight he carried for so long.
The next letter Harry picks up is far more worn than the others. Whoever received it did not bother to preserve it with any charms, as though they never planned on keeping it but couldn't quite throw it out. The edges are frayed and the paper is soft where the pages fold. There’s no envelope. Nothing to indicate that the letter ever meant anything at all. Using careful fingers, Harry unfolds the letter;
Sirius.
I doubt you’ll receive this letter with much joy, if you receive it at all. I know that you do not wish to speak with me for a multitude of reasons, ones I do not disagree with. I fear this will be my last chance to speak with you before irreparable damage is done to the broken down carcass of our brotherhood. Far be it from me to miss a chance to rub salt in the wound, I suppose.
I wanted you to hear it directly from me. I might not know you well any longer but I know you enough to understand you will see this as a direct betrayal of your love. I have taken the mark and joined the ranks of The Dark Lord.
I suspect you will no longer consider me family from this point on but I hope one day you will understand the things I have given for you. Despite my failings in this life the one thing I did well was love you. You have been a source of much joy and hope in the bleakest hours of my existence. I am nothing short of grateful to you and even though I understand you will see my actions as a personal attack, just know there are forces beyond your comprehension.
In spite of what comes next, know that I will always be your brother.
Yours,
R.A.B
Harry’s hands shake as he gently refolds the letter. He can feel the tears brimming in his eyes. This letter is so raw and exposed he can imagine what it cost Regulus to write, Clearly, despite himself Sirius knew it too, unable to cast aside this last remnant of his brothers love.
Harry can hear Sirius’ words about Regulus echoing around in his head ‘I doubt Regulus was ever important enough to be killed by Voldemort in person. From what I found out after he died, he got in so far, then panicked about what he was being asked to do and tried to back out.’ The knowledge that Sirius loved his brother, the letter in his hand proof enough, and never learned that Regulus sacrificed everything for Sirius, sits heavy in Harry’s heart.
“Alright mate?” The voice from the door makes him jump and Harry turns to find George in the doorway. He watches him for a moment before nodding.
“Yeah, want to come see Teddy with me?”
The door of the cottage swings open to reveal a harassed looking Andromeda Tonks. She glares at Harry for a moment before offering George a wide smile and ushering the pair inside. Harry stops to hug her, ignoring the look she's giving him, before pushing into the warm house.
Teddy Lupin is 9 weeks old and does very little other than cry, shit and sleep. In Harry’s opinion, Teddy does all three things wonderfully. He finds the baby lying on his tummy on a brightly coloured mat in front of the sofa. Without hesitation, Harry lies down next to him, smiling at the babe in the mirrored edge of the play mat. Teddy immediately begins to squeal and giggle, rolling onto his back next to Harry. After a moment, George comes to lie next to Harry and engage with the baby too. When Teddy starts to fuss, Harry clambers to his feet and moves to the kitchen where Andromeda has hoisted herself onto the kitchen side.
Harry sometimes forgets she’s only 45. Not that much older than Sirius. She’s holding a mug of steaming tea and Harry flicks the kettle on again before moving to put together a bottle for Teddy.
“You, Mr Potter, are turning into your grandmother with your collection of waifs and strays” She tells him, nodding at George and he pauses, frowning at her.
“My Grandmother? I don't even know her name” he tells her honestly, returning to the formula scoop. Andy hums softly,
“I forget sometimes. Her name was Euphemia. She was known by my parents. They were the same age but they hated her. Effy Potter swanning in to all their galas and functions, charming all the politicians and staving off laws against muggleborns with a laugh and some homemade soan papdi. She’s down in the records at Hogwarts too, last head girl to come from Slytherin house too” Harry slips and spills the formula all over the side.
“Fuck, shitting fuck” he swears, faffing about to clean the mess and she tries to collect his thought and Andy watched on with a grin. “She was a Slytherin?” he finally asks, not looking at Andy as he adds the boiling water to the bottle.
“Oh yes, Effy was very cunning. Served her well too. She was CEO of Sleekeazy's. Your father was a genius but Merlin that man would have never left his lab if she didn't make him.” Andy smiles at him as Harry leans back against the counter opposite her, shaking the bottle to mix the formula.
“How did I not know that?” He asks incredulously and Andy laughs.
“I guess adults don’t really care about Hogwarts houses until their kids go. Besides, back in the day Slytherin was full of alot more than just Deatheaters and their kids. Unfortunately, as the lines got drawn, it became clear where most of the supporters were coming from and in the generations since…. Slytherin house has developed somewhat of a stigma.” Andy shrugs, leaning sideways from her perch on the counter to put her mug in the sink. “Plenty of good people come from Slytherin. Merlin, Me.”
“Regulus” Harry mutters and there's a thunk as Andromeda slips slightly. She steadies herself and stares at him with wide eyes. Harry swallows and turns to the sink, setting Teddy’s bottle in a bowl of icy water to cool.
“You’ve been reading the letters” She says. It's not a question, it's a statement, she knows.
“That and… I already knew Regulus wasn’t a bad person.” Stirring the water carefully, Harry selectively explains the bare minimum of Regulus’ involvement and the horcruxes. So very carefully, keeping as much to himself as he possibly can. She leans back against the cabinet and closes her eyes.
“I feel like… fuck. I feel like I should have believed in him more” she breaths “Should have dragged him out of that house after Sirius…” Harry watches this regret set into her. Sees the weight of it settle on her bones. The way she seems to sag under it.
“Did you know that there is a portrait of him in Malfoy manor” He isn't sure why he says it, something about the vague idea of having Regulus tell Andy himself that she isn't to blame. That she was not responsible for Regulus’ choices. Andy purses her lips.
“How do you know that?” She asks and Harry hesitates.
“Did you have his bottle?” George asks from the door and Harry looks up to find the other man holding Teddy. George is watching Teddy with a soft grin, cradling the baby in his arms while Teddy squirms and grouses. Harry pushes off the side again, pulling the bottle from the ice bath and shaking it up and he moves towards them. Quickly checking the temperature, Harry hands George the bottle and the other man moves back into the living room.
“He looks better,” Andy comments from the side and Harry has to agree. George is doing so much better in the new environment. He’s already come up with three new product designs just from the things in the attic at No 12.
“Yeah, I think the change of scenery helped” He tells her, hoisting himself up onto the side across from her.
“That and some non-pitying company” she agrees. She doesn't continue, just raises a brow at him to continue. Harry sighs and shifts slightly.
“I went to speak with Mrs Malfoy” he admits and Andromeda exhales sharply. “Have you spoken to her?” he asks and she shakes her head.
“I think it’s too late for us” she admits.
“You’re trying to help her though” he points out.
“She’s my sister” she shrugs, as though that’s everything she needs to say.
“I don’t understand that but… I know that in spite of everything Regulus did, Sirius still kept his letter. That Regulus told me he did it all for Sirius.” He shrugs as she watches him with pained eyes. “I would think your sister, who can’t visit Regulus’ painting for the grief she feels, would be happy to hear from you.” Andy watches him for a moment longer before looking away.
“Are they okay? Her and the boy”
“I wouldn't go that far,” he mutters and she narrows her eyes at him.
“You feel empathy for them?”
“Yes,” he concedes
“But you still won’t testify for them,” she shakes her head “Why?”
“Guilt” he admits, feeling it flower in his chest even now. Burrowing into his skin, through his bones.
“For who? Neither of them fought for Voldemort in the battle and neither par took in raids from what we know.”
“Bill.” Harry says “Ron.” Andy looks down with sad eyes.
“Of course,” she breathes “I.. I hadn't forgotten as such. I just…” she shakes her head but Harry sort of understands…he thinks. Or he’s starting to at least.