Remus stared down at Sirius’ face as he held him close. Today had been a scorching session with his pup; it was their tenth anniversary. Ten years to the day since he saw Sirius at his career's most important research presentation, he had looked up and seen Sirius. Sirius whose beauty defies all description. Remus was still filled with a sense of wonder and awe that he had Sirius sleeping in his arms every night.
Ten years ago, he met and fell in love with his soulmate on the same day.
Dr. Remus J. Lupin believed himself to be a man of science, above such beliefs as love at first sight and soulmates. But before they had even had sex, Sirius had told Remus that he loved him, that they had been together in every life. Remus didn’t know what to think…there was this beautiful creature that had caught his eye during his presentation, sitting on the counter in his lab, looking absolutely lovely. He had never thought a human this beautiful could exist.
But, Soulmates?
Remus continued was pressing kisses and bites to the perfect milky skin of his neck when Sirius spoke again. He remembered how his mind felt blank for a second; he looked up into Sirius' beautiful blue-gray eyes, almost completely dilated to black he was so turned on.
“Do you believe in reincarnation?” Sirius had asked, barely able to catch his breath. Remus could barely focus on his words, what with the beautiful way his pup was arching up into him. It hadn’t even been 2 hours since they had met, but Sirius proclaimed with such sincerity that they had been together in all their past lives. Remus didn't know what to think, but he knew he was somehow meant to be here touching this beautiful man. If his brain had been able to override his dick he might have been able to think rationally, thankfully that didn't happen. He stuck to disbelief and continued his ministrations to take apart the crazy creature that was Sirius Black.
He had assumed Sirius was talking out of his ass, completely lost in the bliss of this electric feeling between the two of them, but very soon afterward, he realized that Sirius was both a crazy person and also correct.
He and Sirius had been together in every life, universe, and world: their souls were so irrevocably intertwined that they could not be kept apart in any lifetime. He was balls deep in the most beautiful man in existence when he realized he was fucking the brains out of the man he was meant to spend this life and the next with, on and on for all time.
Sirius was perfect for him, submissive but still bratty; intelligent enough to keep up with him but also silly enough to balance out his more stoic personality. The fact that Sirius was the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen was only his 4th or 5th favorite thing about him. He had taken Sirius back to his house that night and had been by his side every night since. Sirius had moved out of his room at Regulus and James’ house and into Remus’. We’ll, it was now their house, which they shared and owned together, and Remus would never let him go.
He thought about their dinner that first night with Reggie, his research partner and his future brother-in-law, and James, Sirius' best friend and brother-in-law.
“So what exactly is going on here?” Regulus had narrowed his eyes.
“Well, Remus and I are now together,” Sirius answered matter-of-factly as he sipped his water.
“You just met like 3 hours ago. You didn’t even know he existed before today.”
“Yes, well, true love and all that,” Sirius said as he waved down a server to order some wine
James choked on his drinks but quickly recovered. “Well, Remus, it is great to see you again. Plus, it’s just so nice to see Pads so happy.”
James smiled and looked back and forth between everyone. Sirius may look like the supermodel version of his little brother, but James’ smile reminded him of his little pup at this moment. They both grinned at each other and seemed to have a silent conversation with a single expression and too many teeth showing.
Remus held on tight to Sirius’ legs. He could feel how shaky Sirius still was and was highly concerned and ready to get some food for his boyfriend.
Remus tried not to laugh, but he couldn't help it. He shook his head as he thought about the fact that he was currently seated next to his boyfriend. Wow. He felt himself gripping Sirius' thighs harder with the realization that this didn't fill him with fear, rather it felt kind of freeing. He was seated next to his person.
Sirius straightened slightly and looked over at him, raising his eyes in question. Remus couldn't stop smiling.
He looked over at Sirius and then back at James as he attempted to be patient.
“Yes, spending time together outside of academia is nice.” He looked back at Sirius. "Thanks to true love and all that."
He winked, and Sirius looked away, smiling.
As their appetizers and wine were brought to the table, he looked at Sirius more carefully; this man by his side was so amazing. Just over one hour ago, he had allowed himself to be torn apart for Remus’ pleasure and satisfaction. Now, he sat at dinner with his family to properly introduce Remus to them and was doing his best to keep it together.
Remus swore to himself that he would take better care of Sirius from here on out, that he would be the one to take apart Sirius and carefully put him back together every day until the end of time. He couldn’t believe he had successfully presented his research and found a life partner the same day. He would never consider Wednesdays the worst day of the week ever again.
And he didn’t. It was on a Wednesday that he finally introduced Sirius to his parents. It was his mam's birthday a few weeks after they met, so they had driven out to Pembrokeshire to see his parents together.
He stared at Sirius’ sleeping face some more; Sirius looked so ethereal when he slept like the moon existed to shine upon his beautiful face so Remus could admire him better. Only Remus got to see Sirius this relaxed, and it was a blessing he would cherish forever. He smiled and remembered his mam’s reaction to seeing him smile that weekend they met Sirius.
“Annwyl, you look so good. I’ve never seen you smile so much. You look more content, and you seem lighter.”
“Thanks mam, I am lighter. I have Sirius.” his smile got impossibly bigger just saying Sirius’ name at that moment.
His mam paused and looked thoughtful. He knew she was about to say something, and he was so glad Sirius had decided to take a quick shower and get ready before dinner. He said he wanted to look presentable for his parents, but Remus knew it was to give him some time with his mam alone. Sirius wouldn’t take too long to get prepared, and he was naturally beautiful. The phrase “I woke up like this” obviously referred to Sirius and that even when he looked a mess, he was the most beautiful person in any room. This gave him just enough time to have this private conversation with his mam, whatever it would be about.
“I’m thrilled to see you happy, Cariad, but I do worry.”
Curious, he looked up at his mam but waited for her to continue.
“I once loved someone the way you seem to love Sirius. Before I met your father, I had another love.”
Remus took a deep breath, ready, and she must have sensed he was about to say something.
“No, wait, let me finish. I loved him more than I knew it was possible to love someone. But it wasn’t a good love, not that he wasn’t good. It wasn’t good for me. I had given him so many pieces of myself that I was left lonely and lost when I wasn’t around him. It was a little too much, and when he moved away for university, we broke up, and I was left completely broken. By chance, I met your da and found someone to love again.” She took a deep breath and reached for his hand. “I don’t want you to lose yourself in this, Remus. Whatever this is, just be careful. This is all so new I know it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of it all. But take care of yourself first.”
Remus looked at her and wondered how to explain to her that taking care of Sirius first was his job.
That taking care of Sirius was the best way to care for himself.
That taking care of Sirius first was quite literally his reason for existing.
Despite what their friends and family thought, their relationship was only new to those around them, but nothing about Remus and Sirius being together was really "new". Their relationship was as old as time and was created when the powers of the universe first made their souls. They were made as one, simultaneously, to ensure that in every life in every universe across all time, they would find each other and live life as one. How would he explain to her that there was no chance of losing himself because finding Sirius was like finding himself, a part of himself he never knew was missing? He settled for telling her part of the truth.
“Mam, I understand what you’re trying to say. But I’ve already given every single piece of myself to Sirius. Heart, mind, body, and soul belong to him anyway. It's always been his; I had to return it to him when we finally met.”
He saw his mam get a panicked look in her eyes, and he gripped her hands a little tighter as he carried on.
“But he’s given me more in return. The depths of Sirius’ love are endless, and what I've received in return is incomparable. I’d never feel alone when he isn’t around because he's still with me, even when Sirius isn’t around physically. You have nothing to be afraid of for me.” Remus took a breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “This is it for me, mam. The word love feels insufficient when describing what Sirius and I have with each other because it's so much more than that, he's so much more than that."
"Get to know him better, and you’ll see that you’ll know me better. That’s the best way for me to explain it. I know you’re worried, but you don’t have to be; you’ll see.” he gave her a gentle smile and left no room for argument.
As he felt the heaviness of sleep begin to claim him, Remus stared at Sirius’ face. He loved to continue his study of Sirius’ androgynous beauty. Sirius turned heads everywhere they went. Remus especially loved when men, who probably considered themselves to be totally straight, took a few extra moments to study Sirius when he smiled…they’d probably deny the way their pupils would expand as they took in his face. Then, their eyes would inevitability slowly trace down his body. But he really couldn’t blame them for noticing.
He did not doubt that Sirius had been handcrafted with care by Aphrodite herself; there was no way he could’ve been blessed with such beauty as he walked amongst mortals like himself. He thanked all the deities he once hated and now believed in that he was the one blessed to be by this man’s side. He was the one who got to share a bed with the most divine man in the world.
His Sirius.
Despite being raised in a house with no love and never having anyone other than his brother, James, to care about him, he had abundant love and care to shower to those he dear to him. Remus was just happy he was at the top of the list. That Sirius never grew tired of giving Remus the entirety of himself over and over.
He thought of all the ways he’d tie up Sirius to take him apart and put him back together tomorrow as they continued their anniversary celebrations. He fell asleep thinking how lucky he was to know he’d wake up to another day with Sirius by his side. Ten years down, the rest of eternity to go.