Lady Stardust
The peculiarity of coffee shops lies in the fact that they are one of the main vital hubs of society. If for ancient greece we talk about agoras, now it would be impossible not to talk about cafès: unmissable stop during the day, very few are the people who do not enter, for a coffee to drink slowly in the soft morning light or a quick glass of water ordered in haste as excuse to use the lavatory. In a coffee shop it is possible to observe many moments: a tired uniform clad woman before work, a man on the phone that raises his voice after a bad deal, who studies, who draws, who has breakfast with their children, awaited and celebrated encounters between two friends, silent glances between lovers. It’s the centre of the silent contemporary society, in which everyone lives their own life on their own, never starting with the assumption of crossing into someone else’s life, even though it would take so little. When it happens majority of the time it's by chance, impossible to prevent because of so many different lives so close to each other. The only way to see all those lives flow is concentrating on the nearby environment, looking around and trying to interpret other people’s life.
And that’s exactly the reason why Sirius hasn’t quit his job yet. Other than the fact that he desperately needs money and that there wouldn’t be many other places up to giving him a chance. Even though he looks like a detached and relatively very egocentric person, Sirius Black lives his working days through the lives of others, observing in silence and laughing with themselves as if they were watching a television series, finding a comical twist in all that frenzy everyone seems to have in their life: the same people that seem to be allergic to chaos live in a constant race against time, nourished by coffee and pastries. He adores watching in a detached manner and faking he doesn’t need to take part in that marathon against passing days, fakes he can allow himself the privilege of feeling frozen just because others go much faster than him. In the meantime they have learnt many fundamental things: how to make any type of coffee in a decent manner, all types of alimentary allergens in existence, how to treat habitual clients and how to treat less liked ones. Life lessons, on top of which he gets paid, what more could he want?
Its early morning and the sun’s rays are really feeble even though its only September, and Sirius thanks himself for bringing his leather jacket. They shouldn’t keep it on during working hours, even if it was on top of their uniform, but the shop is so empty they can’t see any harm in it. Instead he starts asking himself why they open so early that no one seems to be up yet. Furthermore, Alice is late, so he finds himself having to clean the whole place by himself. He really doesn’t mind, at least he won’t be twiddling his thumbs, but he certainly would’ve preferred to stay in bed, and the company of someone to share his suffering would be nice. But it’s just them and their music: David Bowie’s voice is comfort guaranteed, and it keeps them company even after they're done, when no client had shown up, and there is still no trace of Alice. If he wasn’t used to her tardiness ever since college days he would’ve been almost personally offended, but Alice had always been like this, as good as they come, but with the same punctuality as a clock without hands . In her favour though, no one was able to get angry with her.
Sirius was so bored in that empty cafè that it was getting dangerous: a cup he had used as tambourine almost lost its handle, and the milk carton he had repurposed as microphone was about to open and spill on him. The only thing left to do was try and liven himself up: a sleepless night and a morning shift were a really inadvisable combination. Sirius could feel in their bones that their pretty face would’ve suffered from a missed beauty sleep. He gathered his makeup from the backpack and started touching himself up, and if anyone came in, they’d see him. In the meantime his earphones kept playing their music.
People stared at the makeup on his face
Laughed at his long black hair, his animal grace
When Alice raced in breathing heavily and tried to explain herself, though, Sirius didn’t even hear her. For a moment she thought they were straight up ignoring her: it would’ve been typical of Sirius to be a tad prickly, but hearing them hum as they applied black pencil under their eyes at the shop’s mirror, she shook her head and let them be. She announced she was going at the back to put her apron on, more at herself than him. Alice, unlike Sirius, seemed to be born to work in a cafè: an easy going smile and a lovable kindness always stamped on her face, even when she had a difficult client in front of her. And her hands were made for cooking, delicate and precise, lacking that clumsiness you would’ve attributed to her at first sight. She loved cooking and making coffee, if it were up to her she would’ve solely worked on taking croissants and pastries out of the oven, even though there was someone doing that already. That made her presence in the kitchen welcome, an extra hand was never turned down, and her sweet charisma was like a mouthful of fresh air. She loved the cafe’s ambience, both between clients and workers. Sirius had always envied her, she seemed to have found her place here by chance, and she made it look so simple.
Lady Stardust sang his songs
Of darkness and disgrace
Sirius didn’t even hear the door open a second time
And he was alright, the band was altogether
Yes, he was alright, the song went on forever
A sudden improvised cough. Nothing. The person that had just entered didn’t really know what to do to capture his attention. After the third attempt he passed his hand between Sirius’ face and the mirror and only then was his attention diverted to something other than his reflection and the headphones.
Yes, he was awful nice
Really quite out of sight
And he sang all night long
Sirius took them off and addressed him with a cordial smile.
<<What can I do for you sweetheart?>>
He saw the tranquil face in front of him crinkle, slightly bothered. Oops, wrong approach.
<<Have they ever told you to be more professional at work?>>
<<If you think this isn’t professional enough, you don’t know what I’m capable of.>>
Sirius took his jacket off, placing it on the coat hanger behind the counter before asking again.
<<What can I do to make up for my lack of professionalism?>>
The client’s face relaxed. How old could he be? Sirius made an educated guess thinking he might be around his age, despite the noticeable difference in height and the eyebags that lined his face. Someone else also skipped their beauty sleep.
<<A coffee would be great, and maybe that muffin right there.>> he pointed at the glass cocking his head. Now that Sirius had gotten a better look at him he noticed a large scar that lined his right cheek and reached his lip. A curious detail, they thought, because it was out of place on the person in front of him.
<<I’ll be right there if you'd like to get seated.>> He nodded, and without a word he made his way towards a table next to a window, with a book in his hands. Sirius couldn't tell if it was a pleasure or a scholastic reading, he couldn’t make anything out of his face other than pure concentration.
<<Here you go.>> they said placing the order on the table <<By the way,>>, they added, positioning the tray under his arm. they felt like an idiot, they couldn't really remember why they had thought it was right to do this whilst they were bringing him coffee, <<sorry if I made you uncomfortable before->>
The client laughed softly, shaking his head <<There’s no need, really. I already accepted the coffee as sorry.>>
<<Oh.>> Sirius felt ill at ease, it didn’t happen a lot.
<<And you’re too young for anyone to get mad because of your unprofessionalism.>> This time it was his turn to smile.
<<You talk as if you were much older than me.>>
<<Maybe I am.>> That made Sirius laugh.
<<And could I have the name of this wise elder?>>
He shook his head <<isn’t it more fun if this remains secret, Black?>>
The baristas face became riddled with confusion, and a small wrinkle of worry started making its way between his eyebrows. Seeing that, he gestured to the uniform, smiling, where ‘Sirius Black’ was delicately sewn on the top left corner. He shook his head, black curls swinging. He asked himself how a person like this had come into the coffee shop only now.
<<Okay detective, I guess that means you should come here more often so I can guess your name.>>
<<Mh, I wouldn't know.>>
The two got interrupted by the sound of the door opening and all other clients streaming in, Sirius recognised almost everyone, patrons on their commute to work or university, parents with kids, the usual morning flow. Reluctantly they had to leave him to his breakfast and start immediately serving the other clients. Only now did he notice Alice coming out from the back holding a tray of croissants just out of the oven. The cafè seemed to have resumed its usual frenetic life, and for the first time for a while now, Sirius lamented having to leave the tranquillity created each day. The girl behind the counter adjusted her blue bandana sat on her hair, starting to serve with her usual sweet smile, and Sirius found himself quickly joining her.
Initial busy flow ended, Sirius let his gaze wander towards the table where he had left the mysterious client. Instead they found a couple of older gentlemen commenting on the first page of the newspaper. When had he left? Alice must’ve taken care of his bill, because he certainly hadn’t seen him. He had come with a morning breeze, pleasant, unexpected, and had gone away similarly. It was a real shame. Sirius would’ve at least liked to find a way to contact him during their conversation, he looked like an interesting person, or at least a person that had successfully caught his attention in such a monotonous environment. But coffee shops are known for their constant coming and going, they are places where people come back almost always, especially when treated right. Particular centres of life and part of a sacred ritual, not written, but that unites all lives. And if coffee shops were usual to make lives meet that would’ve otherwise been parallel, Sirius hoped some strange magic would’ve worked for him too. He himself didn’t know why, maybe it had been too much time since he had embraced the role of protagonist and not of spectator, and Sirius did not like being part of the audience. Even if interesting, there was something that bored people like him, because of the lack of adrenaline and feeling that were otherwise essential to feel life streaming in his veins. He needed it desperately, and uncontrollably, and maybe he had found the right chance to get right back on stage.
<<Alice, did you ring the bill of the guy that sat by himself at that table?>>
<<Lots of people came through, I couldn’t tell you.>>
<<Between you and me you’re the one with an elephant’s memory in regard to clients.>>
She sighed <<Then try to be more specific.>> She turned towards him with raised eyebrows.
<<Tall? Hazel eyes, light chestnut hair? Particularly charming?>>
<<Less generic?>>
<<A pullover coming from my grandfather’s wardrobe, a book in hand? Oh, and a scar on his face, there. Very deep, quite recognisable.>>
<<Oh yes, of course.>> Alice smiled, going back to serve cappuccinos. <<Actually he came to see me.>>
<<You?>>
<<Yeah, but when he was paying there was so much confusion that I barely talked to him. I made him promise to come back, I hope he does, I had promised him a chocolate cake. He goes to university with Lils, in this area, you know?>>
<<Lils? Do you mean Lily Evans?>>
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University was one of the few places Remus had always found himself at ease. It was strange to say, but everything had its own meaning. He remembered clearly how many sacrifices he had to make to be admitted, contests for scholarships he had to attend, the part time jobs, some more legal than others, and of the little hope people around him had about his future. But Remus Lupin, quiet and solitary, had embedded in his character that spark of determination that had been enough to bring him where he wanted to be. And since he had started, after 20 years of his life, things seemed to look up. And oh how he had waited for that moment. How many years had he passed with the delinquents of his neighbourhood before getting this far? It had barely been two years but it all seemed so far away, only the tracks of a life spent in the slums to remember. Those followed easily, especially if you had to bring them with you in a context where most people won’t know what that means. Remus thought it very similar to a curse: too good for delinquents and too shabby for well off people. They were a weight that Remus had learnt to bring, because that was the only way to get out of there, the only way to do something bigger than what he was destined to. This meant that Remus Lupin was ready to yet again enter a system in which no one would’ve made tactical friendship with him, wasted lonely nights, all the worst scenarios that could’ve come to mind.
But, a small step at a time, he had proved to himself that his instinct for apocalyptic scenarios wasn’t always right and Remus had done something that had been unthinkable. Even when he lived in his little village in Wales he had never had close acquaintances, and none of them had really stuck. None except one. Lily Evans shared a childhood with Remus Lupin in a lost village in Wales, famous for its inhabitants, thugs, failures and orphans that followed the wrong paths, outcasts. The difference between the two was that Lily had tried to be as far away as possible from that environment, her parents had never sent her to local schools, opting instead for english colleges, didn’t matter how far or how much they cost, and she barely went out in the surroundings, rarely alone. Remus instead had learnt to survive blending in with the rest: he was the tallest of the kids his age, he could be scary if he wanted to, he hung out with the older ones and went to their small missions without meddling, because good or bad, Remus did not have the power to decide, and getting targeted was worse than participating. And anyway, it had never been anything too serious.
The two had met by chance, a ball kicked too hard that had gone into a garden. Obviously it was Remus that was sent to fetch it, it was punishment for being a calm kid in those streets, so it was his job to make up for the others’ wrongdoings. When he had peeked in the fence to understand where exactly the ball had gone, he found two big doe eyes in front of him, that made Remus think of how wrong people were to describe his eyes that same colour, because he had never seem eyes greener than those, deep and emerald, illuminated by curiosity and framed by fiery red hair. They were 13, and from then on they had been tied to some invisible force that had brought them to this weird friendship, they had grown up in different worlds and realities, they had consoled each other, patched up one another, got up together. And they had become Remus and Lily before getting into university, inseparable, complementary, even though their worlds had really intertwined only for that moment.
And it was thanks to Lily that Remus had met people that he now kept by his side, and even though she denied it, he was sure that without that help, he would’ve stayed the usual old Remus. He was certain that Lily Evans didn’t realise how much her assurance and security had changed him, and what impact they had on his life. And maybe it was okay like this, because Remus, no matter how hard he tried, would’ve never managed to make her understand, first of all because Remus wasn’t capable of great displays of affection, they were always weird or seemingly inappropriate, secondly because Lily would’ve categorically refused to hear them. He was walking down the university’s corridors when he saw her coming out of class, and walked over to her with a hand up. He found himself hastily bringing it down when he saw her vehemently shaking her red hair as she talked to someone. She was angry. He didn’t know the person she was talking to, and didn’t recognise them, but the face of his friend was turning the same red of her scarlet mane, and Remus went with the assumption that whoever it was that had made her angry was a very annoying person or a very stupid one. Before he could intervene, she was the one to quickly turn and end up headfirst into Remus’ chest. As soon as she looked up, her expression was completely different, a thirty-two tooth smile and cheeks back to their normal shade of pink to accompany the freckled face.
<<Rem!>> He found himself hugged tightly in the girls’ arms, in a bone crushing embrace. It was this way that she bid him good morning, and he responded by enveloping her in an equally warm hug.
<<What did I miss? Who bothered you?>>
<<Me? No one that deserved it>> she winked at him, moving away and adjusting her bag strap. <<You instead, did you go to find Alice at the bar?>> Remus stayed silent for a moment
<<Yes, but she was busy, I didn’t want to bother her.>>
Lily carefully looked at his face, not totally convinced by his reply. Curling her lip, indecisive whether or not to ask for more explanations in regards to his little eloquence, she finally let it go: Remus always ended up cracking open, and if he didn’t it was because she had guessed before he opened his mouth.
Remus described that particular characteristic as a silent attention towards the rest that was part of her kindness, she instead refused to attribute to herself something that was so good of heart, and instead preferred to call it curiosity and an innate and inexplicable intuition, one of the many reasons she had decided to choose a judicial career: who had gifted her at her birth would have to answer to all of the curses thrown by the people attentively examined under her gaze.
The words that instead came out of the girl’s mouth were <<At what time do courses end today?>>
<<Morning, I should be out at one if the professor doesn’t drag on long.>>
<<Mh, okay okay. I would’ve kept you company, but I have to work early today and I prefer going back home to prepare so we can eat together.>>
<<It just means I’ll have to survive the bus without your company.>>
That made her laugh, taking him by his arm and putting her head on his shoulder. <<I’m sure you’ll manage.>>
Since last year, there had been great deal of gossip at the university about how Lily Evans and Remus Lupin were together, but no one ever dared ask, maybe because Remus was a bit scary, maybe because his friend was even scarier than him when she wanted to be and no one wanted to go against such fury. It had just been assumed it was like that: they were never discreet with hugs and displays of affection, and Remus only reserved them for her, they lived together, sometimes they talked like a married couple. Only their friends knew the real nature of their bond and it would’ve been strange to think otherwise: Remus and Lily would have fun fooling the world around them, but once you met them it was inevitable to see them as siblings and, as you would never imagine two siblings in a romantic relationship, the same could be said for the two, united by their little secret bond, that brought them to an even more incredible understanding than anything else, this made that thought almost nauseating.
<<Oh, have you seen Dorcas by the way?>> It had been an almost spontaneous question for Remus. The girl had been his deskmate for two of the most boring classes of the course. They weren’t even all that useful for his course, but Dorcas had always been hunting for extra points and things to undertake, as if what she already did wasn’t enough, she showed up to the classical literature course just like that. Lily’s expression became darkened as she shook her head.
<<It’s already the third day she misses class. Mary is worried. Maybe we should check up on her with the others.>>
At that Remus limited himself to nod with a solemn air and let the conversation end once they got in front of Lily’s class. The two bid each other goodbye with a hug and Remus started going to class with the promise of a nice hot home cooked meal ‘’lovingly served by the cook of the household’’, as Lily had put it. Remus was very well aware that she loved cooking as much as him (he would’ve preferred anything instead of staying in front of the stove and most of the time he’d find a solution in takeaway or taking advantage of one of their friends charitable souls) and he was grateful she was worrying for him to the point he promised her he’d do it the next day.
The morning was slow going and with a strange heaviness, and he barely managed to stay concentrated. Maybe he was tired or maybe it was just this specific day of classes. He thanked the existence of coffee machines: even though they weren't as good as what he had this morning and resembled a coffee porridge more than anything, a cup of that halfway through the morning had saved the steadiness of his already wavering productivity. And with Dorcas’ absence, the people he knew considerably limited: Frank was a golden person, a bit silent and usually by themself, but once you got to know them they were really nice, shame they graduated that same year; Mary on the other hand was a little less good, frank and lived was the nemesis of all those excessively nice souls that surrounded her, the voice of truth at most times not even asked, but the most trustworthy adviser you could have. In the midst of all other students were people Remus had only met quickly, of whom he vaguely remembered names, more for popularity than others: the elite of the university remained more well off than the rest, the gossip went around and everyone knew the protagonists of the faculty, in good and bad, and Remus always remained in the middle of this web for whatever reason to him still unknown. He was convinced that there was no one except Bertha Jorkins that knew more versions of him in their small scholastic environment. Everything didn’t get to him, thank god, and that was because Remus definitely didn’t go and nosey about other people’s business, but when that happened, it was difficult for him to come out of it and he always and hopelessly ended up involved.
And that week the gossip found him in the strangest possible way: Remus was going towards the library, he had 30 minutes between a course and the next and he needed a volume for a class’ notes, maybe he should’ve brought it home, that wouldn’t have been a problem, the librarian loved him and that gave him certain privileges. When he went to collide with someone else in the corridor, he tried excusing himself, in vain, because the other peson had already started shouting at him. Remus then moved at the side, he didn’t feel like fighting with anyone and preferred to keep his fame for a good for nothing in the walls of the school limited to his scar and not in his curriculum, but saw the guy’s bleeding nose and a cheek that looked worse for wear, that made him knit his eyebrows. Scenes like that were rare inside the institution, Remus was convinced those were things that stayed in secondary school. But that person’s face told another story. He didn’t even have time to say anything, that he heard a voice from the other side of the corridor.
<<Regulus Black.>>
His face seemed shaken up and a preoccupied expression overtook his face <<Shove off.>> he murmured against Remus before quickly making his way towards the exit. Remus watched him go blinking quickly, confused and incredulous. After a while a group of boys came in, that Remus didn’t totally recognise. He had always seen them go around together in the cafeteria or the library, and they were known as that part of the untouchable elite that financed the university, between family that were professors or lawyers, with connections to every nook of the school. Have them against you wasn’t a good idea, but Remus had never cared much, maybe because he was pushed by a sense of justice from Lily and a sense of protection towards her, but Remus had never been one to think about taking too much care arguing with any of them, even though that couldn't be classified as his favourite activity.
<<Damn it, where the fuck did he go? You.>> At least 5 pairs of eyes turned to Remus <<have you seen a guy pass through?>> He gave a quick look at all the people around, majority of which he had had little to do with except and occasional chat. He was thinking about what to say as he met Snape’s eyes. He was the only one of them Remus was sure had bad blood running in his veins, and old wounds would be constantly reopened when his oily black hair found himself in the same room as him. Remus had every reason to hate him and none to help anyone that found themself in his company.
<<No.>>
<<That Black bastard, he’ll pay sooner or later.>> Remus had the sensation of hearing a kid that had a sweet taken away from him talk, and for the second time in the past few minutes he asked himself if he didn’t go back to primary school. It was all so absurd he didn’t even walk into the library.
<<Ask his cousin to lend a hand, she’ll gladly torture him, why don’t you?>> a playful comment, superficial but that still made him get goosebumps all over, powerless spectator of this conversation.
<<Stop it Severus, you sound like a child.>> the guy that talked rolled his eyes <<Lucius, you already bothered Black enough, now cut it and stop being dicks. Let’s get to class.>>
When Remus finally dragged himself into the library it seemed as id he had forgotten exactly why he was there in the first place. Had he really seen such a scene? Did people really behave like this inside the University? He asked himself whether he had lived the year before in a small bubble in which the juiciest gossip was someone cheating in a couple he knew or the usual people that were admitted by recommendation. He definitely didn’t expect to see a post fight scene inside the institute, the idea was so strange that he felt like he was back in his small infamous neighbourhood again, watching class fights in the school courtyard.
But in the middle of all that confusion, a bell started ringing in his head. Remus journeyed in between shelves before finding the book he was looking for and made his way quickly towards class as to not be late.
Black. Where did he hear that surname already?