The Bewlay Brothers

September 6th, 1971

Bright lights blinded him. As his vision blurred into focus, Remus was met with the concerned blue eyes of Madam Pomfrey. But she wasn’t the same as before. Although she still seemed tense and her brow was creased with worry, her eyes were set with something he hadn’t seen the night before. Perhaps determination, perhaps desperation. Perhaps both. When it came to wizards, he didn’t know anymore.

“What time is it?”

She offered him a kind smile. “How are you feeling?” 

“What time is it?” he repeated.

She sighed. “It’s nighttime now. You should go back to sleep. The sun hasn’t even risen.”

He looked aside, towards the slight patch of sunlight rising towards the windows and glazing white cots of the hospital in orange and yellow. Although the curtains enclosing his cot cast shadows across the bed, he could see the specs of light peeking through. “But the sun is up.”

“You’ve only slept a few hours, Mr. Lupin. That isn’t nearly enough for your body to heal,” she told him, urging him to lay back down onto the white sheets. “I’ll lower the blinds.”

“Oh.” He held on to the bar on his cot to pull himself up. “I would normally go to work right about now. I should be in more pain, though. Maybe it’s the adrenaline.”

She gave him a horrified look. Her mouth opened to say something but she closed it, probably thinking better of it. Instead, she asked; “You’re feeling better?”

Considering he was just attacked by the monster, in a new environment, he would say that the wizard remedies were working better than he’d liked to admit. His shirt was clean and he didn’t have much pain except for a few scratches and the inevitable ache of the transformation. He was no longer as nauseous and his throat wasn’t nearly as scratchy.

Truthfully, when he’d told Lily about the good things about the wizard-made healing essence, he hadn’t fully believed his own words. But now he was starting to think that maybe wizard medicine really was better than he’d thought it was. 

“Yes.” Maybe it was because he was tired, or because he suddenly felt very alone within the enclosed curtains of his small cot, but Remus didn’t lie to the strange healer. “I’m feeling better.”

She nodded, satisfied, as she placed two cups near his bedside table. “I’m happy to hear you’re feeling better. But there’s still a long way to go. You must drink these two cups. One of them is an elixir to soothe the pain and another is some pumpkin juice because you are severely dehydrated.”

He groaned, remembering the weird wizard classes he was probably missing out on and the weird wizard homework he probably needed to do before the next day. “What about classes?”

She pushed the elixirs closer to him. “I trust that your dorm-mates can fill you in on the things that you missed while you’re gone.”

He sighed. The last thing he needed was the splitting headache that followed after speaking to the boy’s in his dorm. If their room was so messy, Remus couldn’t imagine looking at their notes. If they even had any notes. The whole bunch of them were probably rich and pretentious enough to avoid studying altogether.

She applied a pair of bright green gloves. “I understand you and your roommates aren’t very close?”

“Too loud,” he mumbled. He examined the two glasses that were filled for him. One of them was a hot pink colour, bubbling in the cup. It looked unnatural; as if someone added food colouring to some water, rather than a mixture of different wizard ingredients.

“You should drink that one fast. In one gulp,” she advised. “The taste isn’t very pleasant.”

He eyed the elixir with a suspicious look as he nodded . “Good to know.”

“By the way,” she said. “You left your book on the floor when you left for the shack so I picked it up for you.”

She held up the thick muggle book he’d snagged from the girl’s common room. He sighed as he flipped through the fresh white pages. He sighed in relief. He didn’t know what he would have done if he’d lost it. “Thanks.”

She smiled. “You’re most certainly welcome.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent sitting in his small cot and reading the big book from the common room. He wondered if Lily and Mary had actually read the books, or if they were simply there for show. 

Personally the thick book was one of his favourites; he’d read it thousands of times. It was one of the only good books he had back at home, the pages brown and tearing. It was almost eerie to see a fresh copy. He hoped they didn’t mind the notes he left.

And when he was bored of that, he skimmed the thin books on Madam Pomfrey’s shelf and studied the strange potions and strange powders and he wondered what would’ve happened if he’d stayed in the wizarding world since he was a child.

Since his father left.

Would he still have that scar on his leg if they had money to treat it? Would he still have that scar on his arm if they had one of those wizard powders or even the regular disinfect from the stores? He didn’t like to think about that much, but as he sat in the old cot, studying all the different medicines, he couldn’t help but wonder what his life would’ve been like if he could’ve had them before.

So he asked Madam Pomfrey about the medicines and the ingredients. He asked her about the different types of books she learned from and the theories she tried. Anything to not think about the hundreds of questions buried in the dark corners of his mind; entangled in a web of dark, scary trees in a dark, scary forest that Remus wasn’t ready to visit. Not yet. Not ever.

So he continued reading from the thick book, longing to forget about the hospital wing and the healer and the dark forest.

“How are you feeling now?” she asked him after a few hours. The many, many gross drinks she’d tried to give him had settled and pounding in his head was soon gone and his bones were no longer aching.

“Decent,” he told her. And for the first time after the full moon, he meant it. 

She smiled at him. “I’m happy to hear that. And I bet you’ll be happy to hear that you’ll be cleared for dinner.”

He brightened when she mentioned the big pile of food served for dinner at Hogwarts. At least that was something wizards did right. He grinned at the thought. “Great. I’m starving.”

She gave him a sad smile. “I bet you are.”

The rest of that afternoon was spent reading the surprisingly intriguing wizard healing books and the way they used the different ingredients to create them. He wondered how the regular people hadn’t figured out these remedies or mixed those ingredients. What if the regular people knew that if they mixed octopus legs with moonflowers they could cure diseases? Would they have a better life? Would the people bear less scars? Would they bear lighter burdens?

He tried not to think about that. He really did. 

And luckily, he wouldn’t have to for much longer. Lily’s friendly chatter echoed through the halls and her footsteps tapped on the limestone floors. He couldn’t hear what she was speaking about, but she was definitely heading towards the hospital wing. He wondered how she’d found him. 

“Is Remus in here?” He didn’t need to be a werewolf to feel her heartbeat quicken and sense the worried gaze she was sending his way through the closed curtains of his cot.

“It seems that Mr. Lupin has caught the flu,” she said. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”

Lily sped through the room to his small cot in the left corner of the room. He pulled himself up against the bed to a sitting position. 

“Can I come in?” she asked.

He opened the curtains, offering the girl a small smile. “Hey.”

“I read that book,” she said excitedly, looking down at the thick book in his lap. Honestly, he’d forgotten about it. “I have it on my shelf back in the dorm!”

“Not anymore.”

She opened her mouth to say something but she didn’t say it in the end. Instead, she looked down at the book in his hand and frowned. “You stole my book.”

“Borrowed it,” he corrected her. 

“That's a felony! You could’ve just asked,” she exclaimed. “I should have you arrested or something.”

He smiled.  “I just wanted to leave some notes in the margins for you.”

“What?”

He handed her the book. She scanned the pages, all marked with notes in his best handwriting. She hoped she was able to read them; he didn’t spend much time practising.

A small smile spread on her lips. “You’ve read this before.”

“A million times,” he agreed.

She looked at him, puzzled. “I thought you said you didn’t read much.”

“Well, what is much?” he asked her.

She laughed as she skimmed through the notes. “When did you even have time to read this much?”

“I stayed the night.” Which for the record—in his opinion—was totally unnecessary. He could heal himself and be perfectly fine.

Lily’s brow creased with worry. “You stayed the night? You must be in bad condition. I knew something was wrong when you didn’t eat breakfast.”

He shrugged. “I get sick a lot.”

She looked at him with pity. Remus didn’t like pity, especially from so many people. He wasn’t pitied by many people back at home. Except for maybe his mam, but he didn’t see her as much on normal days, let alone around the moons.

“You’re still pale. And you look like you haven’t eaten in years.”

“Mr. Lupin is still healing,” Madam Pomfrey explained. “I trust he’ll be back in tip top shape by dinner.”

She sat down on his cot. “That’s great.”

They were silent for a moment. Nothing but heavy silence and the weight of her concerned gaze in the air. She scanned him, as if looking for any visible injuries or symptoms of a flu.

“So,” he started, trying his best to change the subject and escape her pitying look. “Did you like my notes?”

“Are you Welsh?” she asked suddenly, not looking up from the book.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked. “Most of the notes are in Welsh. Not to mention the whole book is in Welsh, too.”

“It’s just that these notes are so,” she hesitated. “I don’t know. Thought out?”

“I didn’t know I struck you as a dummy,” he said with a laugh.

Her eyes widened. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

A beat passed.

“How are you even Welsh?” he asked suddenly.

“Excuse me?”

He squinted at her. “You just sound so.. English.”

“I can sound English and still be Welsh, annwyl.”

He laughed. “Darling? Really? You sound like my mam.”

“My dad is Welsh and my mother is English,” she explained. “He always says I sound so posh.”

Honestly, Remus agreed with him. She didn’t roll her r’s or stress her vowels and when she spoke she sounded more French. But at least she wasn’t from London. “You can never get posher than James and Sirius, though.”

“idiotiaid ydynt.” They’re idiots, she told him.

He chuckled. “Gwn.” I know.

“How many questions have they asked? I know they like to stick their nose into everything. Besides, I’m sure James noticed that the love of his life is missing from classes.”

He said the words with an impression of James—making sure to exaggerate his posh accent—and Lily laughed. “He hasn’t stopped asking me questions all morning.”

 He snorted. “Of course he hasn’t.”

“He probably lives in one of those huge, posh mansions with an entire football pitch at the front,” she told him. “Emmeline told me that the Potter’s are basically drowning in money.”

“That makes sense.”

 Remus couldn’t imagine living in a huge mansion. He probably wouldn’t have to work a day in his life. Maybe he could even buy a field for the wolf during moons. But that wasn’t realistic anyway. Because unlike the posh wizards in his dorm, some people weren’t trillionaires.

Where do you live?” she asked, dragging him out of his thoughts.

 “South wales. Like, around Monmouthshire. It’s kind of like a small house in a really far forest area. There aren’t many houses there,” he replied. “You?”

“Me and Sev live in Cokeworth,” she said. “It’s in London. But my dad is from north-west Wales I think, so that’s where I get the accent.”

“How is Severus, anyway?” he asked. “Last I heard that potion exploded onto him.”

Lily frowned. “He was really upset. He didn’t really tell me much when I asked him about it. Just said something about revenge.” 

Remus felt bad for the greasy haired boy. He didn’t seem very strong like Mulciber or very popular like James. All he had going for him was his brains. But maybe that was the most underestimated trait of them all.

He laughed at the thought of James and Sirius finally being out-pranked. “I kind of hope he succeeds.”

“Honestly,” Lily whispered, as if afraid someone would hear her. “Me too.”

When Remus came back to the common room, nobody spoke to him. And that was probably the best thing he could ever receive from the boys in his dorm; silence. Nobody questioned him or burdened him and that was all he could ask for.

But he should’ve known that the silence wouldn’t last long, because when Remus finally collapsed onto his comfortable bed, James opened his mouth. “Did you make out with Evans?”

He rolled his eyes. “No, I haven’t been kissing Lily, you bloody fool.”

“Hey!” Sirius yelled. “Don’t call James a fool!”

He scoffed. “I thought I already told you, I’ll do whatever I want.”

“But you were in the girl’s common room!” Peter protested. “What were you doing if you weren’t kissing her?”

“Yeah,” James rounded on Remus. “What were you doing if you weren’t kissing her?”

“I was having friends,” he told them. “I was hanging out with my friends. Maybe if you actually thought about being kind and trying to talk to girls without thinking all they’re worth is kissing then maybe you’ll get somewhere.”

“You don’t know anything,” Sirius shot back.

“I know enough to make friends with a girl. Unlike you.” Remus countered. “You know what? I don’t have the energy for this.”

He shut the curtains of his four-poster bed, officially done with the conversation. If James didn’t know why he wasn’t making friends he should see a shrink; Remus definitely wasn’t going to waste his time educating a posh wizard.

“I can make friends with a girl!” James complained to Sirius and Peter. He pitied them. “I bet you I’ll be able to get a girlfriend in two days.”

“I think this is what he was talking about, mate,” Peter told his olive-skinned friend. And that was the last thing Remus heard before he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.