Dreams Of Silver
Marlene McKinnon was not a fan of boys.
She didn’t mean this in a ‘all boys are pricks’ way. She meant it in a ‘I don’t fancy boys’ kind of way.
For the longest time, Marlene was sure there was something wrong with her.
She grew up with boys. Well, two to be exact. James Potter and Peter Pettigrew lived in the same neighborhood as Marlene. They got along well enough and they shared common interests. Quidditch, reading, rock, girls, they were as close as could be.
All of their parents were sure that Marlene would end up with one of them, if only for a little while. This thought had always disgusted her. It even got to the point where Marlene would ignore the boys until their parents dropped it.
Marlene thought that this was just because she thought of them as her brothers. No one in their right mind would fancy their brother. So naturally, she didn’t even consider getting with James or Peter. But maybe at Hogwarts she would find a boy to fancy, right?
Marlene had never been so wrong.
At the age when everyone started dating, their fourth year, Marlene didn’t find the idea of dating blokes appealing at all. In fact, she found herself fawning over the girls in her year or even the year above her. Something about the way their skirts moved, or the way their lips shined with lip gloss, or the way their hair was just so perfect had Marlene entranced.
For some reason, that didn’t feel normal. So, she hid it. She hid how she felt until she found out that it actually was normal. It had come up in conversation during a late night with her dormmates, and best friends, Lily Evans and Mary Macdonald.
They were all on the floor of their dorm, staying up later than they were supposed to. The gossip had quickly turned into a conversation about who they fancied.
”Okay, Marlene, your turn,” Lily had said near the end of their fourth year, looking right at her, “is there anyone you fancy?”
Marlene bit her lip to hide the smile that threatened to show as her cheeks turned red. That seemed to be enough to give it away.
“Oh, Marlene, please tell us!” Mary begged, moving closer, “you never fancy anyone.”
Lily moved closer as well, also seemingly curious.
Marlene trusted these two girls so much, so much that being scared of telling them seemed silly. Silly, but scary. She sighed and she saw Mary perk up.
“Okay, there’s this girl in my potions class who’s really pretty, but I don’t know if I fancy her, exactly,” Marlene said quickly as she fidgeted with her necklace, face burning. The necklace that Mary and Lily had put both their savings towards to get for Marlene.
Mary and Lily exchanged looks, obviously shocked. Anxiety built up in Marlene’s stomach with every passing second. The silence wasn’t that long, but to Marlene it seemed like ages before the silence was broken.
“What’s her name?” Lily asked, smiling like she always did.
Marlene let the charm on her necklace drop back down and stared at the two girls in front of her.
“Wait, are you not disgusted?” She plainly asked. She had obviously expected the pair to at least think it was a joke or something. This was basically unheard of, a girl fancying another girl?
Mary rolled her eyes as if Marlene was joking. “Of course not, Marls. We both like girls, too.”
Now it was Marlene’s turn to be confused. She shook her head in confusion. “Wait, wait, what?”
Lily shrugged, still smiling. “Well, we talked about this a little bit ago, actually. Apparently, you can fancy both, and we do.”
Mary and Lily were now both smiling at Marlene. Honestly, that made a lot of sense. If a girl could like a girl, why couldn’t someone like both? It wasn’t necessarily heard of, but maybe it was just because people were scared, just like Marlene.
Marlene smiled back at them and the three girls hugged.
That had been one of the best nights of Marlene’s life. She found that not only did two of the most important people in her life support her, but they also fancied girls. The only difference was that Lily and Mary fancied girls and boys, while Marlene only fancied girls.
The best night of Marlene’s life, however, was on one of the last days of her sixth year.
Most of it was a blur, but what Marlene remembered the most, and the things that kept reappearing in her dreams, was the feeling of cold silver on her face, a promise, Dorcas Meadowes’ lips on hers, and the taste of cherries.
Dorcas promised that they would talk about their relationship at the start of their seventh year, if Marlene was still interested, that is.
And Merlin, Marlene was so incredibly interested.
Sirius Black, one of Marlene’s friends, and her were walking back to their common room together after lunch.
During their first year, James and Peter immediately became friends with Sirius and another boy, Remus Lupin. Sirius was a part of the noble pureblood Black family, while Remus was a half-blood. Also during their first year was when Marlene, unsurprisingly, became friends with Lily and Mary.
At first, the two friend groups were separate. After James gave up trying to charm Lily, the two groups merged into one. Marlene was particularly fond of Sirius. They had the most in common.
The two were walking to their common room when Dorcas came up to them.
Sirius was visibly confused, seeing as Dorcas was one of Regulus’ friends.
Regulus was Sirius’ younger brother who had been placed in Slytherin. Regulus was only a year younger than him. All of Regulus’ friends but Dorcas were in his year.
Sirius and his brother weren’t the closest.
Marlene felt her heart flutter. She had thought that maybe Dorcas had forgotten that night. She’s so glad that Dorcas didn’t.
“Marlene, can I talk to you?” she asks, smiling brightly at her.
“Oh, you know Dorcas, Marls?” Sirius raises an eyebrow and glances from her to Dorcas.
“Yep. I do,” she says quickly, “sure, Dorcas, let's go.”
Dorcas nods and leads her away from Sirius. They end up in an empty hallway when Dorcas stops and turns to face Marlene.
They just stand like that for a little while. Marlene takes this time to fully admire her.
If it’s even possible, Dorcas looks even lovelier than she did that night. She’s just in her robes, which is nothing fancy, but she looks beautiful all the same. The rings from that night are still on her hand, and Marlene wants nothing more than to feel the silver on her face again.
“Marlene, I just want you to know that I’m still interested,” Dorcas explains, bringing Marlene’s attention away from her hands, “but there’s a few problems.”
Marlene raises an eyebrow as she leans against the wall next to her. “Is that so?”
Dorcas nods, frowning. She looks away, seemingly thinking about something. “Well, for one, being in a queer relationship is a little.. Risky, don’t you think?”
Marlene thought about that. She never considered that before. It did make sense, though. Most people don’t like things that are different from what they think is normal. Like, werewolves.
When Marlene found out that Remus was a werewolf, she was a little apprehensive at first. They had been mates for a little bit at that point, and he had never been dangerous. A little hot headed at times, sure, but never dangerous. Plus, he had a place where he could safely transform, and he had never hurt anyone before. After a little bit, Marlene just accepted it. It didn’t really matter what Remus was, he was still Remus.
“Yeah, that sounds right,” Marlene replied.
Dorcas nodded. “Right, and there’s also the fact that we literally know nothing about each other. Would it be worth it? No, I don’t think so.”
That stung a little, Marlene will admit. She had actually fancied Dorcas for a few years now. Not that she needed to know.
“Which means,” Dorcas continued, “that we should just pretend that that night never happened. Or I guess you can go brag about it. Whatever works for you.”
Marlene was confused. Dorcas could really move on fast. Then again, this did happen near the end of last year.
Just then, Marlene had an idea. She perked up, pushing herself off the wall. “Wait, so are you saying all I have to do is be your friend and charm you?”
Dorcas raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Oh? Is that a challenge, McKinnon?”
Marlene found herself smirking, too. “Maybe it is. Are you up to it, Meadowes?”
“Alright, try and charm me into being your girlfriend, then.”
Marlene nodded, still smirking. Her gaze fell down to the other girl’s lips. Another idea popped into her head. “Shouldn’t we seal the deal? Like, I dunno, with a kiss?” she suggested confidently.
Dorcas chuckled. “Right you are, McKinnon.”
Marlene takes her up on that and moves closer. Dorcas is the one that initiates the kiss.
It’s short, but lovely. Dorcas moves one of her hands to cup Marlene’s face, the cold feeling of silver on her skin, making her shiver. Marlene isn’t sure why, but that feeling is very comforting. It’s always very, very cold, but still comforting nonetheless.
Dorcas still tastes like cherries, Marlene’s favorite fruit. She doubts that Dorcas knew at all that cherries were her favorite, but for some reason it makes her feel special.
Too quickly they pull apart with Dorcas smirking, seemingly pleased with herself. “See you soon, McKinnon,” she winks as she turns and leaves.
Marlene is very confident that she will win Dorcas over. They’ve already snogged twice, and Dorcas admitted to being interested in Marlene. Now just came the hard part.
That night, Marlene is lazily listening to Queen as the rest of her friends talk. Most of the other Gryffindors had retreated to their own dorm rooms, considering how late it was getting.
When Marlene hears Dorcas’ name mentioned, however, she perks up instantly. “What did you say?”
“So you are awake,” Peter rolls his eyes. Apparently Peter had tried to get her attention. More than once.
“Sorry, sorry,” she waves her hand in the air, “anyway, what about Dorcas?”
“I was talking about how she whisked you away from me earlier today,” Sirius pouts dramatically.
Marlene rolled her eyes. Leave it to Sirius to be dramatic.
“What did she want you for anyway?” Mary asks, looking at her with knowing eyes.
Mary and Lily are the only other people that knew about Marlene and Dorcas snogging. They only knew because they had seen it at the party they were at.
“None of your business,” Marlene teases. She knows that Mary won’t take it to heart, but she genuinely doesn’t want anyone to know unless it goes somewhere.
“Alright, fine,” Mary dramatically crosses her arms, struggling to hide a smile, “just don’t tell your best friend of seven years something that is obviously important.”
“You’re all dramatic prats,” Marlene laughs, hiding her face in her hands.
Everyone gasps, very dramatically. Especially Mary and Sirius, who the comment was directed towards.
She waves them off and stands up. “I’m going to sleep, goodnight,” she mumbles as she walks up the stairs.
After settling into her bed, Marlene realizes just how much she fancies Dorcas. Plus, the fact that they have snogged twice doesn’t help this. She’s all that Marlene can think about.
She groans as she tosses and turns. Obviously Dorcas doesn’t seem all that interested in her. She was just a girl that she could kiss. This doesn’t matter to Marlene, however. She’s convinced that Dorcas must like her. She had to, they kissed.
Marlene’s mind wanders to years before, when they barely talked. They still didn’t talk much now, granted, but this was when Marlene first started liking Dorcas. And Dorcas didn’t really seem to like Marlene.
In their fifth year, Marlene, Lily, and Mary were in the library. They had started making a habit of going to the library to study and do homework. Marlene wasn’t a huge fan of this, but it pleased her friends if she went, so she did.
She also went because it was the same time Dorcas and her friends. It wasn’t all of her friends, just Regulus, and Evan Rosier
She found her focus constantly shifting, her eyes always on Dorcas as she and her friends studied or joked about something.
Multiple times, Dorcas caught Marlene staring. Marlene has always been confident, even if she was caught. So, she just smiled at Dorcas.
Dorcas would scowl at her, roll her eyes, or even tell her friends. None of this bothered Marlene. She knew that Dorcas wasn’t her biggest fan, but that didn’t make her feelings go away.
It did hurt a bit, but she also started fancying Dorcas because she wasn’t afraid to be mean. Even if it is towards Marlene.
Marlene smiles at this memory. She decides that even if it doesn’t work out in the end, at least she got to snog the girl she fancies.