It was easy to miss the small things. Since her arrival at the Circus Ragatha missed a lot of things. She missed normal things. Like breathing real air, or swimming without being soaked down. Or talking to the moon without it talking back.
Trail rides, being by herself surrounded by nature as if it was meant for her. The trees encasing her as she trodded along the paths. Ragatha missed freedom, despite having unlimited possibilities before her.
The passing of seasons did not apply to the circus. Or it didn’t, until Caine decided it would.
Ragatha wasn’t expecting to be bombarded so early with a knock on her door.
“Rise and shine dear Ragatha! A day of fun and excitement awaits you!”
Adventures weren’t something Ragatha generally hated, though she didn’t necessarily love them. It was a swinging pendulum that never stilled.
“Urgh!” She hissed as she felt the slime of some horrible creature against her hand.
“Jax! When I get my hands on you..” she muttered to herself.
Too afraid to look, Ragatha hurriedly made her way to the common room.
There already sat Gangle and Zooble, who leaned on Gangle’s shoulder as she hunched over a sketchbook.
A shaking pillow fort told Ragatha that Kinger lay inside, with a certain rabbit looking her way she refused to acknowledge.
The last to arrive was Pomni, who Ragatha immediately walked over to, feeling the burn of eyes on her back as she did so.
“Good morning! I hope you slept well!” Ragatha chirped, hands folded together.
Pomni jumped, before giving a small smile.
“I did, but it was kinda hard with the moon calling for Caine.”
“I’m glad I’m not the only one who heard that,” Ragatha giggled.
“What are we saying over here?” An irritatingly familiar voice said.
Ragatha scoffed as an arm leaned on her head, pushing down on her bow.
Jax smirked at Pomni as she glowered at him.
“None of your business, is what it is.” Ragatha calmly stated as she shoved the offending arm from her hair. She could have sworn it lingered over a curl as it slid off.
“Seemed real interesting to make ya smile.” Jax mocked.
Ragatha’s plush hand fisted, why did he think he could just tease her, give her those eyes right after pranking her!
Well, she was done putting up with it, if Ragatha wanted some semblance of a good day, she would have to sort this out first.
Just as she geared herself up to give the scolding of a lifetime, she was interrupted by a loud pop!
“Why good morning my little dewdrops! I see your all gathered here today!” Caine spun around excitedly.
“You were the one to wake us up.” Gangle piped up.
“Pff!” Caine’s hand stretched to press against her mask.
Poor Gangle, Ragatha shuddered as the girl squeaked.
“Now, if you're done talking over me, allow me to get to todays adventure!”
Just spit it out you oversized cavity! Ragatha normally tried to steer her ill feelings towards Caine away, but he was just adding to her already tested patience.
“Get to it!” Jax jeered, reflecting her thoughts.
Jax’s lips clamped forcibly shut as Caine opened the door to the circus, cold air pouring in as he did so.
“As I was saying, today’s adventure will be full of team building, bonding and fun!” Caine yelled over Jax’s screeching.
Oh no.
Not-
“A snow day!”
Well shit.
In her human life, Ragatha enjoyed the passing of seasons. The warmth of summer turning into the beginning chill from fall.
What she did not enjoy was the loss of heat, the chill settling so indefinitely she wondered if she'd ever feel warmth again.
Now, dressed in a hat and scarf, Ragatha discovers there is no chill. No nipping at her skin, or cold spreading to her bones.
Because she had no bones.
“What do we even do?” Zooble asked, surveying the grounds now covered in snow.
“We could go skating, maybe? Or sledding!” Gangle peaked out from her coat.
“We could look for insects,” Kinger helpfully suggested.
“Kinger, there’s no insects in winter..” Pomni patted his shoulder.
Ragatha tuned her friends out, instead choosing to focus on her plush feet which were rapidly soaking up moisture. Maybe she was sulking, but would it really be so much to ask for boots?! Or even a jacket, instead she would absorb until she couldn’t anymore.
“Ooff!” Suddenly she became much closer to the snow as she fell forwards.
A snicker Ragatha heard before, “I think the answer is obvious!” Said Jax, gathering more snow into his paws.
He was dressed the most comfortably. A long coat with thicker gloves and a hat that covered his ears. Ragatha would almost call him cute, if she were insane. The rabbit had hissed at Caine when he became forcibly clothed, yanking at the cloth as they were all shoved outside.
He seemed to embrace it now, as the wind blew on the others.
“This is stupid, I’m not wasting my time doing kids stuff.” Zooble scoffed.
Gangle frowned, “I think it could be fun.”
Zooble paused, “maybe we could-“ they sputtered as a snowball hit their face.
“You're getting it now rabbit! Pomni, Gangle, take cover!” Zooble marched behind a nearby bush.
Pomni shot Ragatha a small smile, guilty, Ragatha thought as Gangle turned away.
Being pelted by snow wasn’t on her list of things to do today. She didn’t know what was, but certainly not that. No, instead Ragatha would relax by the lake. It wasn’t like the others would need her anyway.
With her mind set, Ragatha walked until she was yanked back by her skirt.
“I don’t think so dolly, I’m not doing this by myself. Especially not with crazy over here!” Jax jabbed his thumb at Kinger.
Who was busy staring at the falling flakes.
“By yourself? You started it! You should get pummeled!” Ragatha shook his hand from her dress.
“Aw, you promise?” He tilted his head, ears down.
“Shut up,” she murmured, eyes lingering.
“Attack!” A voice commanded as several pellets emerged from thin air.
“Duck dollface!” Jax shouted as he grabbed her waist, shoving Kinger with his other hand.
The snow went further into her fabric as they hid behind the rock, Jax peering over top.
“Oh wait, we should be on a team Ragatha!” Kinger said joyfully.
Ragatha sighed as she settled beside Jax, peeking at their opponents.
“Why so glum today? You’d think someone spit in your cereal.”
“Or put another centipede in my bed?” Ragatha shot back.
He pulled her down as snow flew over their heads.
“I would never,” Jax held a hand to his chest.
“You’d never huh?”
“Nope, but now that we’re on the subject, you're much grumpier today.”
Was she that obvious? She knew this adventure wasn’t for her, but the others were having fun. Ragatha just brought them all down.
Carefully, she pulled her stitched lips into a smile.
“I’m not sure what you mean, Kinger pass me a snowball!”
“Here! I’ve been making them as you two were flirting.” Kinger placed them into her hands.
“Oh shut it you fool!” Jax scoffed, shoving her away.
Ignoring him, Ragatha focused on the task at hand.
Across the snowy land, their rivals were launching ball after ball. When Ragatha squinted, her eye could see a show of teamwork. Pomni crouched, rolling the snow together in quick succession. Zooble, with two spare limbs they must have had tucked away working alongside Pomni.
Ragatha gaped as Gangle was then picked up by Zooble to launch the pellets, her ribbon body extending to spread them over their cover.
“We’re toast.” Ragatha said definitively.
“What’re we doing again?!” Kinger wailed.
Jax tipped her head up, his grin piercing as it was cunning.
“C’mon Raggy, those losers couldn’t beat us if they tried! And you know I always have something up my sleeve!” He winked.
She tugged on his coat swiftly. “For once you actually have sleeves.”
Jax’s confident smile faded as he was reminded of his predicament.
“Forget about that, we need a game plan.” He became serious as snow landed on his hood.
“F$ yeah!” Came Zooble’s loud cheer.
Ragatha was certain they would lose. Jax was cunning, she meant that. Kinger did have his moments of clarity, though as much as she loved him he remained unhelpful. Their opponents had been building a strong comradery these past few weeks. While Ragatha had been pushed away Pomni had been pulled in.
It didn’t bother her really, (it did, it stung. But she couldn’t feel it anyway. She never could.)
As she drifted away, Jax began to torment her relentlessly. Whatever he placed on her pillow this morning just furthered that. He would do things like this. Leaning on her head, touching anything he could reach, shoving her this way and that. His nicknames that made her squirm. Ragatha didn’t trust it, knew she needed to keep her guard up until he revealed his true intentions.
“I know you wanna win.” Jax whispered.
He was right, Ragatha did want to win.
(She wanted to scream, look at me! See me!)
She turned to her team, stepping forward to unzip the rabbit’s thick jacket.
“Wow Ragatha! Not he-“ Jax spluttered, ears shooting up straight.
“Oh my!” Kinger squealed, floating hands covering his eyes.
“Grow up,” Ragatha snorted as she plunged her hand into Jax’s overalls pocket, pulling out item after item. Skimming them over as she set them aside.
“That must be a big pocket!” Kinger stated.
“You done doll?” Jax twitched, her grip on the fabric firm.
“This! Here Kinger.”
Kinger sagged as he was handed a ball cannon, though he quickly took to it.
“How come he gets the cool thing? What about him says give me a gun? I’d be way better with-“ Jax was cut off as Ragatha yanked a large shield from his pocket.
“I didn’t forget about you bunny. Don’t worry.” She let herself giggle, surprised to find it was genuine.
The others were relentless, but they were ruthless.
Jax led the way, shield up to protect them from their foes. Ragatha gathered the snow which was placed into the cannon.
Kinger was precise in his fires, landing a hit on Gangle as she glided in the air.
“This is cheating!” Pomni cried.
“It’s cold!” Gangle squealed.
In no time they reached the home base, where they're predators had become the prey.
Jax chuckled maniacally, his shield easing as Kinger approached.
“So scary..” Gangle whimpered as she floated to the ground.
“Please don’t hit me.” Pomni pleaded.
“Come at us.” Zooble challenged, their eyes holding a fire.
“I’m sorry Pomni, but I show no mercy.” Kinger coldly said as he took aim.
“Kinger what?!” Gangle shouted frantically as she along with Pomni were shot.
Ragatha felt remorse upon seeing her friends flailing into the snow. (A part of her felt satisfaction. She gave them her all, in return for them to abandon her.)
She was going to step in. To stop Kinger as he aimed his cannon at Zooble, who would not go down without a fight.
Like earlier, Ragatha was halted as a hand grasped her skirt.
“I told ya we’d win!” Jax boasted.
Winning felt good. It was a warmth in her chest that grew as he stared at her. A sense of gratitude went through Ragatha, a hand of victory Jax extended to her that made a spark in her candy heart. Ragatha clung to the feeling with all she had.
She wouldn’t let him know that however.
“Don’t brag. It’s rude.”
The battle continued on as Gangle and Pomni struck back, attaching themselves to Kinger to hold him in place as Zooble grabbed the canon from his hold.
“Jax! Ragatha! Avenge me!” Kinger decreed.
“Hm, nah.” Jax examined his gloves.
“Ah!” Jax yelped as he fell to the ground.
“That’s what you get, rabbit!” Zooble whooped.
The canon was aimed at Ragatha, startling her out of her amusement of his demise.
A tense moment took place, before Gangle began a hesitant mantra of “join us!”
Soon followed by a jester and picasso piece chanting.
Ragatha accepted the canon, pointing it at the boys' betrayed faces.
“Dollface, I thought we had something special!” Jax pleaded, ears down as his hands clasped together.
“I’m sorry bunny.” Ragatha released the trigger, with the rabbit landing in the snow.
Ragatha found that she was enjoying the adventure as the day passed. The warm glow stayed in her chest despite the weight of cold in her fabric.
Their snowball fight had been the first of many escapades. A snow angel competition led to Zooble winning, with their limbs spreading out to aide them. Gangle came in second with Jax, who had two long ears on his. Pomni opted out, for fear of snow going down her still chilled back. Kinger laid on the ground; without moving.
Caine produced a large hill, with only three sleighs.
“Hm, odd.” Ragatha had commented.
“It’s okay! Someone can have mine,” Pomni reassured, before being lifted onto the sled by Kinger.
“Woohoo”! He celebrated, as Pomni began to cry.
Zooble observed as they sailed down, shrugging.
“We climbed all this way, may as well get something out it, right?”
“Right!” Gangle exclaimed.
“I guess that just leaves the two of us, huh?”
As the pair hopped aboard their sleigh, Ragatha found Jax holding the last one in his paws.
“I don’t know about that,” she hummed.
His smile didn’t dim, though his ears lowered ever so slightly.
“Oh yeah? What’ll it take to convince ya?” He leaned forward.
Ragatha could lean forward too, and so she did. She got right in his face, enjoying the way he faltered in his stance.
“I happen to know a very mischievous rabbit that likes putting things in my room to scare me.”
“A very handsome rabbit I’m sure~” Jax purred.
“A very arrogant rabbit, who needs to stop if he wants a sleigh ride at all.” Ragatha cut him off.
Jax wagged his finger, “sorry Dollface, but that’s not gonna happen!”
That was fine, Jax would have a very delightful sleigh ride by himself. If he thought he could still come into her room without asking, trying to ruin her day, then he could! What he couldn’t do was try to schmooze Ragatha into forgetting how much he tried to make her life harder on the daily.
“Where ya goin’?” He yelled as Ragatha turned away.
“What I was originally going to do today.”
Maybe going on a sleigh ride would have been fun. Gathered close together, pressed tightly as they descended the hill.
The lake would be nice though. Surrounded by stillness, a peace of normalcy so rare to be found in the circus.
Time after time her plans were halted as Jax blocked her path, sleigh held out in front of her.
“I promise to be good today. No more tricks! Cross my heart, hope to die.” His eyes were bright, though pinched with…desperation?
“That’s not funny Jax.” Ragatha scolded. She may be annoyed with him, but she hated when he made those jokes.
“I’ll stop,” he soothed.
Jax stuck out his paw. “So, have we got a deal?”
Ragatha held her hands on her hips.
“No more centipedes for the rest of the week. And you stay out of my room.”
He sighed, before capturing her hand in his.
“It’s a deal toots.”
Ragatha gasped as she was then pulled closer to him as he led her to the top of the hill.
“I betcha we’ll go faster than those other schmucks.”
Ragatha blew air out of her cheeks to hide her laugh.
“Stop.”
“Never.” Jax grinned.
The sleigh was set down, Jax jumping onto it as he patted his lap.
“You must be outta your mind.” She gawked at his audacity.
“Your red cheeks say otherwise.”
“Shut up and turn around.”
Grumbling, he obeyed. Ragatha quickly settled herself behind him. As she did, she found she was getting stiffer, as if her mobility was impaired.
Snow really wasn’t her favourite in this world. Or maybe she wasn’t her favourite in this world. Her body was made inhuman to something so natural, so pretty.
“Need some help there?” Jax quirked his brow.
“Nope! Let’s start.” Ragatha chirped.
His gaze lingered, raking over her form, before he shrugged.
“Just so ya know, it wasn’t a centipede.”
Why bring that up now? She was certain he was lying, but he was so full of surprises today.
Jax turned ahead, pushing his hands forward over the snowy hill.
It didn’t feel like anything Ragatha had experienced since coming to the circus. No monsters or bright lights, just peace. When she looked up, the sky was calm. Her world descended down as they flew. Ragatha rested her body on Jax, leaning her weight as she soaked in as much of everything as she could.
A loud voice was cheering, alive with joy and excitement. Ragatha was surprised to find it coming from her. Just like many times today she embraced the feeling of soaring. She was a million miles away, floating above the clouds, away from the circus trying to steal her light.
Ragatha was brought back down, landing with a thump as they finished their ride. Being free from the circus never lasted, while she could though? It was everything.
She held onto Jax’s paw to stabilize herself as he guided her off the sleigh.
“You're a little heavy there Rags.” Jax grunted.
“Wow! Easy, I didn’t mean anything by it!” The rabbit surrendered as Ragatha glared.
He took a step closer, reaching for her wrist.
Which Ragatha definitely didn’t want.
“Hold still,” Jax tested the weight of her arm, pulling it this way and that.
“”Stop, it’s fine,” Ragatha laughed nervously as she struggled in vain to free herself.
When he made no move to release her, she aimed a kick to his leg.
“Have you been like this all day? How come you never said?” Jax dodged her kick, releasing her wrist only to grasp her plush foot.
“I gotta tell ya Rags, being soaked makes it hard to kick!”
At this he paused, studying her reddened face while he attempted to bend her leg.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Jax muttered quietly, dropping her leg as she yelped.
“Now that you're done, let’s find the others.” Ragatha proposed.
“Hey! We’re not done!” Jax called as she pulled their sleigh along.
Ragatha wasn’t ignoring him per say, she let him keep talking as they made their way along the terrain. It seemed Caine had expanded the land. Trees stretched out to frame the lake.
“You made it!” Gangle welcomed the pair.
The rest of her friends were admiring the lake, frozen solid ice shining brightly.
Pomni had made it safely down with Kinger, looking frazzled, but more relaxed than she had before going down.
“What took you so long?” Kinger wondered, his gaze strangely knowing.
“Oh nothing!” Ragatha deflected, eyeing Jax as he caught up to her.
“Look what Zooble found!” Gangle approached, holding out a pair of skates that were thin and long. As if made especially for her.
“I’m surprised that freak even put effort into this.” Zooble remarked, holding out their own pair of unique skates. They matched their feet as they slid them on.
“Caine isn’t a freak.” Ragatha corrected, feeling guilty for this morning. He planned this adventure which started off horrible, into something enjoyable. An adventure she wasn’t stabbed, or beaten, or almost destroyed.
“Don’t lie to yourself Dollface.” Jax strolled by, arms resting behind his head.
“For once I actually agree with you.” Zooble chortled.
“These must be for you,” Pomni approached with already donned skates, they even were shaped like her jester shoes!
“Aw!” Ragatha cooed at Pomni as she accepted her pair. They were long and wide. They would hold her plush feet comfortably. She found it hard to hold them as her fabric became heavier.
“I’ll take that thank you!” Jax chimed in, pushing a flustered Pomni back with his glove.
“Hey! Give those back!” Ragatha protested as her skates were stolen.
“These will do nicely,” Jax examined them appropriately as he held them above her head.
“C’mon Jax, they aren’t even yours! These are!” Gangle butted in, trying to hand over his pair. They even had the individual slots for his toes.
“Nah, I like these ones better.” Jax smirked tauntingly at the others.
“Jax, that isn’t very nice! Give Gangle back her skates!” Kinger argued.
“You mean Ragatha?” Pomni urged, looking at Kinger concernedly.
“Oh! Hi Pomni!” He waved excitedly.
Ragatha was quickly growing frustrated. Noise filling her ears from all around her. She made a final attempt, pulling on Jax’s arm. To no avail, it just made him more smug!
She hated how easily he riled her up. Things had been going so well, Ragatha needed to get to the bottom of it.
Taking a breath to calm herself, she turned away from the rabbit to face her friends.
“You guys go on ahead! We’ll be right behind you!” Ragatha said brightly.
“Jax stop being an a$$£0l£, and give Ragatha her skates!” Zooble protested.
Jax shook his head. “No can do Zoobie, they're just too perfect to pass up!”
“Really guys, we’ll catch up! Go on ahead.”
Reluctantly, the others slowly dispersed. Gangle nodding as she tugged Zooble along with her. Pomni was the last to leave, her eyes studying the two, guiding Kinger with her.
“That poor fool, he doesn’t even have feet! He’s just gonna stand there.” Jax mused.
Ragatha took her chance when he became distracted, swiping for her skates.
Unfortunately for her, Jax was ever observant, and held them high above her reach.
“Whoa! That was close! You almost did it!” He mocked.
“What is your deal? We actually had a nice moment! I know this isn’t even in the top worst things you’ve done, but it’s getting annoying.”
Jax seemed to grow frustrated, before his smirk slipped back into place.
“You don’t need to go on there toots, just stay here with me! We can laugh at those idiots from here! It’ll be great!” Jax offered, spreading his arms wildly.
Well if Jax wanted to play that game, her mask could slip back on too.
Her voice turned sweet as she approached, head tilted as she said, “why don’t we go together? You can even hold my hand!”
Ragatha watched in fascination when his shoulders slumped, sighing as he shook his head.
“Forget it. Let’s just stay here.”
Really what was his problem? It wasn’t like him to be so adamant about being against something! Especially something as simple as ice skating.
Ragatha was tired of his ups and downs. Sweetening her up with his actions only to turn sour himself. She would not waste her time being left out just because of him. If he wanted to stay by himself, he could. Ragatha would not.
“Where do you think your goin’?” Jax got in her face suddenly, blocking her walk to the lake.
“I am going to skate. You can stay here though!” Ragatha sang.
Jax crossed his arms, scoffing. “Oh yeah? Without skates?”
“Yup! If Kinger can have fun, so can I.” She reasoned.
“Ragatha, you're not going.” Jax declared.
“That’s funny, I didn’t know it was your decision.” Ragatha glared.
She couldn’t take a running start, her limbs too heavy. Maybe she could distract him, long enough for him to leave her alone. Why did he care so much about this? What was in it for him?
“Dollface stop! You can’t go!” Jax spread his arms in front of him.
“Jax why? What do you have against me having fun? Everyone else is out there and I’m missing it!” Ragatha anguished.
His paw came up to his face as he sighed again.
“Ragatha, look at you. You can barely move without huffing. You're waterlogged and tired.” He stressed.
“That doesn’t matter!”
“Why doesn’t it matter?! Do you hear yourself?” Jax grabbed ahold of her arm.
“You shouldn’t care about it so much. I don’t.” Ragatha assured him. To know Jax was worried for her made her numb body almost warm. Despite his pranks, he really did have a sweet side.
She shivered as he tipped her head up, his eyes dark as he growled.
“Again, do you hear yourself? Because I do! If you go out there, you're going to sink! Why would you not care about that?!”
Ragatha stroked his hand, cupping his cheek in turn.
“Don’t worry bunny, I won’t get hurt. Caine wouldn’t give us skates if there was a chance the ice could break.” Ragatha soothed.
Jax leaned into her hand subconsciously.
“You really think Caine wouldn’t? His sh!\\¥ adventures mess up all the time! The ice would absolutely break.” Jax’s fur was starting to bristle now.
“I see this is really important to you, but you need to calm down, okay bunny? Take a deep breath.” Ragatha instructed, patting down his fur.
The rabbit rolled his eyes, puffing out air as he did so.
“I don’t understand why it’s not important to you. You’d think you had better self-preservation Raggs.”
She pushed his comment aside, giving his hand a comforting squeeze.
Jax seemed to realize the situation, gazing at their joined hands. He pulled back swiftly, his cheeks turning a darker purple.
Ragatha giggled at his bashfulness.
“Really, I think it’s so sweet that you care, but I’ll be okay. Why don’t we go together? Then you can keep me safe!” She clasped her hands together eagerly.
Jax groaned, looking up at the sky pleadingly.
He sought her touch once more, his thump tracing over her button. He leaned in close, his breath over her ear as he firmly said, “no.”
“Urgh!” Ragatha floundered as Jax stepped back smugly.
“Now don’t ask again.”
How did the adventure turn into this! It was supposed to be a snow day! Not filled with confusion and chaos. Ragatha wanted to sit by the lake, contemplate her meaningless existence until the adventure was over!
Instead, she stood next to a very perplexing rabbit that seemed so inconsistent today, her head spun. Ragatha
knew he was capable of so much, to be kinder under that joking exterior. Now he was showing a side to himself she only dreamed of, and she didn’t know what to make of it.
Jax seemed to bask in the silence, content to thwart her plans of joining the others. Of him joining the others as well. Jax was going against his own nature for her of all people. How crazy it sounded for Jax to miss an opportunity to torture their friends. It must drive him nuts.
These feelings swarmed in her mind as Ragatha saddled up to him.
Jax eyed her warily, his hands holding the skates behind his back.
“Thank you for staying with me bunny, I mean it.”
Jax chuckled, playing along with her bit.
“Somebody needs to save you from yourself. Guess it’s gotta be me.”
Ragatha surveyed the land, eyeing her friends who glided along the lake.
Zooble, trying to find their footing, stumbling before righting themselves with the help of Gangle. Gangle, so unsure of herself, carefree and graceful as she led Zooble around the rink.
Pomni, nervous to a fault, but kind, staying beside Kinger to pull him by the hand so he would not be lost. Kinger, so full of pain but speaking to Pomni about his passions.
Ragatha may be missing it, that didn’t mean Jax had to. Jax, who she often thought of as a mystery was unveiling himself to her right before her eye. He deserved to be with the others, so that they too may see it.
“You don’t have to though. I know you're probably buzzing to mess with the others.”
Jax made a low pfff, waving his hand.
“They can wait! They’re making big enough fools of themselves already without me doing anything.”
He gestured to Pomni, who slid forward, landing right on her face.
Ragatha winced as Jax laughed.
“I mean it Jax, staying on the sidelines can’t be easy. Think of all the opportunities you would have, so many pranks!” Ragatha regaled.
His eyebrow raised judgmentally.
“Do you wanna to get rid of me that badly? Ouch dolly, I thought I meant more to you than that.” Jax wiped a ‘tear’ from his eye.
“No! I really don’t! I like having you around, it’s actually kinda nice.” Ragatha admitted, cheeks warm.
This surprised him, his cat-like pupils shrinking as the silence stretched on.
“But I’m a big girl, I’ll be okay for a few minutes if you let off some steam.”
Jax’s expression was difficult to read, his shoulders tense as he slumped heavily. He suddenly perked up, moving forward to grab hold of her hand.
“All right, I hear ya loud and clear. I’ll go torture these sorry sh!+$ while you have your space or whatever.”
“But,” Jax held up a finger.
“You sit here, and don’t even think about going on that ice, capiche?”
Ragatha laughed, shaking her head as she nodded.
She then gasped as his gloved hand clasped her chin, meeting her eye dead on with suddenly intense ones.
“You're not going on the lake, understand?” Jax repeated sternly.
Struck speechless, the doll nodded once more.
“Good.” Was all he said as he began to take off his jacket.
“What are you-“ She asked before it fell on her, losing her sight until she felt hands tugging her arms into the sleeves.
“It’ll keep you warm. Better than that pathetic scarf.” Jax gazed at her smugly.
Ragatha snuggled into the material, already feeling the barrier it provided against the cold breeze.
“At least I didn’t get dressed like a stuffed animal.” She teased.
His cheeks warmed, pulling on his hat encasing his large ears.
“He just wants to embarrass me, I swear!” Grumbling Jax stepped forward to fix the jacket, pulling the hood around her head, the zipper up close to her chin. It was so tender Ragatha was beginning to question if Jax got replaced, before he pulled tightly on the strings to shield her face.
“Urgh!” She groaned as he dashed away cackling.
Freeing herself, Ragatha sang him a goodbye.
“Have a fun time cutie! I’ll be waiting cottontail!”
She blew him a kiss as his middle finger became censored.
The sky was beautiful. It stretched far beyond the circus. Deep blue with the sun reflecting softly off the white snow.
Ragatha felt peaceful, observing her friends in their comradery. She was happy they were getting along so well today. The frustration held on other adventures was absent today, allowing her to see how playful everyone could be.
Just as Ragatha predicted, Jax was in his element. His body was lanky, giving him the speed to stroll around as if he were on air. Poor Gangle almost had her comedy mask broken, only saved by Zooble extending a limb to ruin his attempts. Jax raced by Pomni and Kinger, knocking the chess pieces to the ground while he cackled. Then, he grabbed Pomni by the bell on her hat, skating around the lake in a full turn.
He truly was awful. He was invasive, crawling into your space with no intention of leaving. Playing cruel jokes to destroy you and then pounce when you were vulnerable.
As awful as Jax could be, he served a purpose, Ragatha realized.
Being in the circus could tear you apart. To be taken from the real world, only to be put in an inhuman body forgetting what you ever looked like.
In this terrible world, Jax served as a distraction. On rough days he would find you. Provide you with something else to despair over instead of the hell you faced everyday.
Jax had a purpose, a contribution he made for the group, twisted as it was. What role did Ragatha serve? She always tried to be caring for others, to be someone they could turn to in times of need. It never did her any good, did it? Ragatha failed again and again, hurting those she cared about around her.
Ragatha regarded her friends, seeing them laugh as Zooble tackled Jax, rescuing a dizzy Pomni as he tried to scurry away. Was it wrong for her to desire to be a part of that? Or would she ruin it with her poison?
She only wanted to see closer, to try and mold herself into the sound of their laughter, their joy. To free herself of these feelings weighing her down.
The ice held Ragatha, as she thought it would. She moved around without her skates, finding it difficult at first. Her body was stiff, but Ragatha persisted. As she became more accustomed to it, she glided across the lake. It almost reminded her of being human. Of having skin instead of felt. Being able to breath and pass out, or bleeding when stabbed. It was freeing, an escape Ragatha didn’t know she needed.
She longed to share this feeling, to let it spread to her friends and infect them as it did her.
She observed her bunny, waiting to see when he’d notice her. He must have seen where he’d left her was empty, for he jerkily shoved Zooble off him to scan the area.
Ragatha giggled as his eyes caught sight of her. Jax bounded over, coming to a halt feet apart from her.
“Are you stupid or something?!” Jax yelled, seeming frantic in a way Ragatha had never seen before. Large golden eyes almost bulging from his head.
“I told you I’d be fine! There’s no reason to worry,” Ragatha waved her hands, feeling flustered. She circled the ice, proving her point as she spun.
The rabbit’s eyes became larger, before he held out his hands to anchor himself.
“I think you spoke too soon dolly.” At his raised hand, Ragatha followed it to the thin spread cracks surrounding her.
Her body felt the effects from the cold all day. Burrowing deep into her stuffing until it no longer could hold. For the first time Ragatha really felt the cold. Filling her up until there was no warmth left.
“Stay calm, I’m coming to you.” Jax’s voice was steady. Ragatha could sense his anxiety in the twitch of his ear, the way his paws with opening and closing. Still, he slowly began to inch his way towards her.
“Ragatha, you made it! I was starting to think something was wrong.” Gangle sped along, excitedly, comedy mask still in place.
“Shut it ribbons! I’m trying to focus.” Jax hissed.
“Focus? On what? Why can’t you leave Ragatha alon-“ Gangle’s voice broke as she stared in horror.
“It’s spreading,” Ragatha remarked. She was not panicking, merely taking in the reality of her situation. How she longed to be human. To sit in the real sun, to sleep under real stars, and feel real snow on her cheeks.
Instead, she was a patchy rag doll doomed to be beat down again and again. Suffering the consequences of her naïveté, her denial of what she now was.
The others had arrived, looking on curiously until they too were horrified.
“No you idiots! I can’t reach her with all our weight!” Jax snarled, creating a new crack when he inched his foot forwards.
“I’m sorry,” Ragatha confessed. She pulled at her hair, not real but yarn, trying to tie herself to something, anything. Her eyes bore into Jax’s, her ears clung to his desperation.
“I couldn’t be enough for you, I hurt you. I’m sorry.” She met Gangle’s gaze before finding Jax’s again.
Ragatha knew she wouldn’t die, couldn’t in this digital fantasy. That didn’t mean it was pleasant, when the cracks split, shattering until she fell beneath the lake.
She wouldn’t die, she told herself as her heavy limbs dragged her further into the depths.
She wouldn’t die, she told herself as the pressure became too much, her air leaving.
She wouldn’t die, she told herself as her eye shut, truly in darkness.
Gangle had always been a meek creature. A plaything to be taunted or mocked, always walked upon to further others.
Today, she was no coward. Her friend fell beneath the ice, causing Gangle to act quickly.
Jax was stepping across shards, a whine from his throat as he wobbled precariously.
“Catch me!” Gangle ordered as she unwove herself.
Jax stumbled when Gangle threw herself at him, before nodding as he raised her high above his shoulders.
“Ganlge wait! Let’s just get Caine to fix her! It’s not safe-“ Zooble urged from their spot on the lake.
“There’s no time!” Pomni stressed, pulling on her hat.
“We need to save Ragatha,” Kinger stated, eyes clear as he gazed at the exposed water.
“Now!” Gangle shouted as Jax launched her.
On this rare occurrence they worked together in tandem. This would not last, for only their dear friend could bring them together.
The water was unwelcoming. The cold stunned her ribbons but Gangle propelled herself forward, surveying the land for any sign of her friend.
Gangle knew she could not fail. Ragatha always tried to help in any way she could. Even if she hid her intentions at times, it still mattered. What bonds had been frayed would be mended.
There!
Trapped under a rock, laid a motionless rag doll with her hand caught in a strayed stone.
Gangle swam across, gaining speed as she saw how still and dull Ragatha was. How normally her smile shone so brightly.
The rock stood firm in place, not budging as Gangle wove her ribbons into hands. She yanked, twisted her body upwards to no avail. Gangle was becoming weak, her breath slowing as her mask began to spin.
Ah. That was the answer then.
Shooting down, Gangle wedged herself between the stone and hand, her mask digging into the soil as it spun, lifting the rock up as she did so. Gangle’s ribbons caught Ragatha as her body sagged down, heavy and water logged.
Gangle held her friend, giving a tug on her ribbons to signal her success. She was rewarded by being yanked back.
They broke through the water, Jax pouncing as he snatched Ragatha from her grasp. The others lifted Gangle up, helping her until Zooble guided her arm over their shoulder.
“Caine! We need you.” Pomni cried out.
Jax growled as they waited, clutching Ragatha tighter.
A loud noise signalled his arrival, Caine appeared.
“My little snow angels! Are you having fun?! I made it special for all of you-“ Caine’s eyes bugged out from his teeth.
“Get us home you f#€£!! Now!” Jax hollered, animal like. With bristled fur and claws digging into Ragatha’s felt.
Caine was silent as he snapped his fingers, returning them to the tent.
Jax wasted no time, scooping Ragatha up and running off with her, the others following along to aid him.
Gangle couldn’t help but think it was the most serious she’d ever seen him.
She dreamt of open fields. The land stretched for miles, mountains high with snow gathered on top.
The sky bristling blue with the warm sun heating her cheek.
She sailed across the terrain, holding on firmly to her steed.
They found a river, with rushing water welcoming them both.
She descended her horse, hiking up her dress to bask in the refreshing pools.
Her companion joined her, settling itself close to drink after a long day's travel.
Feeling playful, she splashed it, giggling as the steed reared back, snorting in her face.
She took careful steps into the river, dancing along the stones as the water flowed around her.
She laughed as it splashed her, feeling it spread around her body.
She frowned in confusion as it spread further, over her legs to her head.
She cried out to her steed. Pleading as she began to transform before her very eyes.
Her hair became shorter, brighter, springing as it curled around her head.
Her hands shifted, fingers moulding together with only one spreading apart.
Her vision went dark as the water engulfed her, pulling her down. She reached for something, anything to haul herself up.
She surged up, breaking through. Her vision gone in one eye as she flailed her arms.
Her horse whinnied, calling for her as she was plunged beneath the depths, never to be seen again.
Ragatha gasped as she awakened. A buzzing in her ear caused her to groan.
Her body had been twisted, tied together in bunches. She was suspended above large heaters.
It reminded her of her attempts to tie-dye in days long past.
The doll was surprised to find that she was not in her room, instead in one she did not recognize.
It held turned around pictures, a large closet, and a long bed.
The floor was busy, with props, tools, and gadgets strewn about. They were shoved into corners, like someone had been trying to clean but got too tired halfway through.
It couldn’t be Gangle’s or Zooble’s room, nor Pomni’s from what she’d glimpsed. Possibly Kinger’s as he never went into his.
The only other option would be a certain rabbit’s, which made her damp cheeks heat up.
Ragatha startled when the door opened, footsteps sounding through as Gangle appeared.
“Ragatha you're awake!” Her friend cheered in amazement.
In her ribbon hands she held a plate of digital food.
“Good morning Gangle.” The doll greeted.
“The others will be so happy! We’ve been getting anxious.” Gangle pulled up a chair, setting a the plate down on the nightstand.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make everyone worry.” Ragatha smiled, wincing.
Gangle paused, she grew quiet before sighing.
“You don’t have to do that, you know.”
Ragatha tilted her head.
“What do you mean? I am sorry.”
Gangle placed a hand on her tied shoulder.
“We are worried Ragatha. You don’t have to cover up how you feel.”
Ragatha’s eye widened, shoulders drawing together tightly.
“I’m not doing that! I promise. I think I’m still so tired.” She yawned, pulling back.
“Ragatha.” Gangle stressed, causing Ragatha to look up at her.
At her face, Ragatha sighed.
“Maybe lately things have been a bit weird. I think I just wanted to be closer to you. To make up for what I’ve been doing wrong.” Ragatha whispered, feeling the truth in her words as she spoke them.
Gangle’s mouth twisted.
“Yeah, I guess we never really talked about that huh? It has been a little awkward.”
Ragatha launched herself forward, “can you tell me what I did wrong? So I can fix it!” She begged.
Gangle settled her back into place, concerned as she righted her.
“You don’t have to plead, it was silly anyway.”
“No! It can’t be to make you ignore me so much.” Ragatha shook her head frantically.
“I didn’t mean to. I should have talked about it to you. Maybe then you wouldn’t have done what you did.”
“Tell me please,” Ragatha urged.
Gangle nodded, opening her mouth to tell the tale.
Ragatha listened, her stomach twisting. The sauce made her reveal her private thoughts. Thoughts meant to be locked away, where no one could hear them. How could she say something so terrible to her wonderful friend?
“I’m sorry,” Ragatha looked to the floor. The shame was too much to bear. “You can go, I’d understand.”
Gangle’s mask suddenly came into view, angling herself to meet the doll’s gaze.
“Ragatha, you could have just talked to me! I know things can get overwhelming, but we’re still friends. I’ve been thinking about it, and it’s okay you find me annoying sometimes.”
Ragatha winced. “Is it?”
Gangle nodded empathetically.
“Because you annoy me too!”
“Oh.”
Gangle chuckled, patting Ragatha’s arm.
“That was a bit harsh. I’m only teasing. Though you do annoy me when you hide things like this! We would have stayed with you! You didn’t need to go, me and Zooble would have been happy to keep you company. Pomni too.”
Ragatha raised her head.
“Really?” Needing it to be true.
Gangle nodded once more. “Yes. You’re our friend, even if we get on each other's nerves sometimes.”
The twisting, the cold around her heart eased, pulling back bit by bit. Maybe things were still mending, but it helped Ragatha to know they could be mended.
She rested her head in the hug her friend provided, keeping herself together as Gangle pulled away.
The silence they shared became comfortable, what was not comfortable however, was when Gangle examined her arms, tugging them to ring out the liquid.
“Ugh”, Ragatha cringed as it fell into a bucket below.
“If you think that’s bad, you should have seen a few days ago.” Gangle commented, shaking her head.
“A few days ago?!” Ragatha startled. How long had she been asleep for? What happened in the time she slept?
“Oh yeah, it’s been pretty hectic. We’ve been taking turns watching over you. You should have seen Jax. We practically begged him to let you go. He was a mess.” Gangle wrapped her arm back up securely.
“He was? What did he do? Did he say anything?” Ragatha hoped he hadn’t worried too much, she had been fine after all! But she refused to listen, would he still want to talk to her?
Gangle laughed at the onslaught of questions.
“He did speak, not that we understood much of it anyway. He brought you into his room, and rarely left your side. Zooble and Kinger forced him away so we could figure out how to actually help you.”
Ragatha felt a rare defensiveness for the rabbit. He stayed by her the whole time? Thinking she needed to finish resting until she woke up? It was oddly sweet of him.
“He tried to help,” Ragatha rebutted.
Gangle raised her brow, “he did, I’ll give you that. We started to panic when you were so still. Nothing we tried could rouse you. It was Pomni’s idea to ring you out like well, a rag.”
Ragatha hummed in thought. It made sense, as much as she wished it wouldn’t.
“I’m surprised he let you into his room. Even I’ve never been in here.” She remarked.
“He didn't really have a choice. Either let us in or take you away. He made his choice pretty quick.”
Ragatha turned her head to shield her face, surely turning as red as her hair. She ignored Gangle’s snickers expertly as her friend rose from her chair.
“He’s gonna be so mad you woke when he wasn’t here to see it.”
“Where is he? I hope he went easy on himself.”
Gangle’s look was caught between disbelieving and amused.
“Me and Zooble forced him to get a little air. He’s out with Kinger right now. I’ll go let him know though.”
Ragatha nodded, accepting she would be teased relentlessly in the near future. She may as well accept her fate while she could.
“Before you go,” she called as Gangle made to leave.
“Can you untie me? It’s a little uncomfortable.”
Gangle winced apologetically. “You’re not totally dry yet. It’s either this or Bubble was gonna suck all the water out.”
Ragatha shuddered in terror, “I’m fine then! Thank you.”
With that her friend took her leave, the door clicking shut.
Alone with her thoughts, Ragatha wondered if her friends agonized over her unconscious form. Did they believe she would wake up? What would happen to them if she never did? Who would keep everyone happy? Jax was right, she should have never stepped foot on the ice.
Thinking of him, he was so affected to the point he guarded her for days! Ragatha knew he must have been worried, Caine could just reset her body if necessary. She wondered if Jax pushed Caine away, or blamed him.
No. Ragatha was the one at fault. She wished she could stop being so selfish.
She perked up upon hearing footsteps from the hallway.
The doorknob rattled, like whoever was on the other side was desperate to break in.
Seeing her bunny, it rang true as he entered. His fur stood in opposite patterns, as if it couldn’t decide where to go. His gloves were tattered, revealing his claws that poked through. His eyes were the worst.
Pupils shrunken, becoming larger as he took her in, sunken in and twitching.
Instantly, his mark slipped back into place. His wide stance became relaxed, his gaping mouth a smirk as he waltzed over.
“Dollface! Good to see you up and at 'em.’ Though I gotta say, I’ve seen you look better.”
“Hi bunny.” Ragatha greeted softly, ignoring his attempt at blasé.
His paws reached out, taking her limbs to twist and ring out.
“Hey! Why does everyone keep doing that without asking! I’m right here you know.” She huffed. It was bad enough Gangle wouldn’t untie her, now Jax thought he could do whatever he wanted!
Jax hummed, giving her arm a final squeeze before pulling away.
“You're just so popular lately Raggy. Gotta make sure I get my attention when I can!” He sang.
So he was going to pretend like everything was fine. Like Ragatha hadn’t been foolish and put all her friends in danger. As much danger as they could be in the circus. Still, the thought of any of her friends in her position made her shudder.
“What’s wrong? You cold?” Jax came close suddenly, his paw cupping her cheek.
“Huh? Oh no! Just a little overwhelmed I suppose.” Ragatha laughed nervously.
Jax leaned back. “Oh yeah? I wonder why.”
Ragatha slumped at his words, the water beginning to leak over the dam.
“I know it was a little dumb of me to not listen. You were right, I should have stayed where I was.”
“A little?! Try a lot! You’ve been asleep for four days Rags! Imagine what was going through everyone’s minds.” Jax’s carefree stance dropped, his arms moving with him as he paced in front of her.
Your mind, Ragatha thought.
“I was being selfish, I realize now. I wanted to be with all of you so much that I put you all in danger. And worry over me! It must have been difficult, I’m sorry.” Ragatha appeased warmly.
She watched in fascination when Jax’s mouth opened and closed rapidly, reminding her of a fish.
“No, I'm sorry. I don’t think I’m hearing you right. Did you just say you're sorry for making us worried?” His tone was tense, teetering on anger.
Ragatha fumbled, why was he upset? She was agreeing with him! Jax should be thrilled! For once he was right, why would he not take the opportunity to gloat about it?
“Uh yes?”
“Wrong answer.” Jax towered over her, gripping onto her arm.
“I’m gonna tell ya something dolly, and you better listen. Cause I’m only gonna say it once.”
Confused, Ragatha gave him the nod he was looking for.
“Good. So listen closely.”
Jax took a hold of her chin, something he seemed so fond of doing lately.
“You have to stop ignoring yourself. This was just the tip of the iceberg.”
“What do you mean-“ He placed a finger over his lips, shushing her loudly until she stopped.
“The perfect dolly people pleaser act. It’s wearing you down, and you know it. You don’t need to be happy all the time. Heck I like you better all fired up!” Jax declared valiantly.
He smiled at her glare, which she supposed furthered his point.
“I like helping people, Jax. It’s who I am, who I need to be. Besides, that’s like asking you to stop pulling pranks. It’s just not going to happen.”
Jax’s smile faded, his ears lowering as they came to a standstill.
“I’m not perfect, that’s the problem. No matter how hard I try, nothing seems to work! All I want is for everyone to be happy! But how can I be when I’m so damaged?”
His grip on her chin lessened, sliding to rest on her cheek.
The truth was no matter the act or smile she threw in someone’s face, it would never amount to anything! Ragatha would forever be the broken little ragdoll full of lies. Her attempts meant nothing, not when she couldn’t even be honest with herself.
“I’m horrible Jax, I really really am. I wish for once I could be enough. But I never will be. Maybe I should have stayed at the bottom of that lake.”
Her shoulder shook, cries raking through her body. Jax rested one paw on her head, the other closing over her form, shielding her.
Ragatha cried into his shoulder, wallowing further at the rabbit’s words.
“Sh, dolly, let it all out. You’ve been keeping that in for so long huh?”
For a long time, they remained held in one another’s embrace. Ragatha cursed every horrible thing in their purgatory. She cursed every adventure, every friend they’d lost, she cursed for any one of them could be next.
Ragatha rested her head on Jax’s shoulder, cursing her patched and stitched body. The truth of never having her old body, her loss of humanity.
Through it all, Jax rang a gloved hand over her head, patting down her mussed curls. Hushing her gently when she sobbed into his chest.
When Ragatha grew tired, Jax let her slump against him.
“Do you know what I think?” Jax spoke up.
“Hm?”
“I think a certain little rag doll is enough, even if she can’t see it right now. I’ll be here to torment her until she can see it!” Jax tucked her hair behind her ears. A promise Ragatha could see he would not back down on.
“You can try, but I don’t see you succeeding,” she remarked dryly.
Jax gasped, his hand resting on his chest. “I take offence! Do not underestimate me, my dear woman!”
Laughing, Ragatha rolled her eye at his antics. She longed to rest her hand on his head, to stroke those soft looking ears. She gave an experimental tug on her wrist, eyeing her restraints.
“You think you could untie me? I’m getting a little tired of being restrained mid air, not the most comfortable you know.”
Jax smirked, brows lifting as he studied her appraisingly.
“I happen to think it’s a good look on you-“ Jax cut himself off at her expression, less he found an early grave.
“I’m joking! A joke! Unless- no a joke!” He shouted frantically as Ragatha attempted to punch him.
“Untie me you stupid rabbit! When I get my hands on you, you’re gonna wish you kept your mouth shut!” Jax laughed nervously, backing away.
“Alright! I will, or I’ll check to see if they’re dry enough.”
Ragatha growled when he started squeezing her limbs, the water still falling into the buckets below. Jax hummed as he worked, very intelligently avoiding her torso.
“Hm, it’s still a bit too wet for my liking. We really wasted that first day waiting for you to wake up.”
“That was your fault! Untie me now and I won’t throttle you.”
His eyes widened at her words, making quick work to cut her down with his claws. Ragatha gasped as her body fell, only to be saved by Jax catching her. He led them over to his bed, placing her down more gently than she thought him capable of.
Ragatha sat up, annoyed she only cut down the restraints that held her suspended. Her limbs still held fabric tied over in sections.
“Sorry doll, you’re almost dry and I want it just as fast as you do! So we’re gonna keep them like this okay?” Jax winked, adjusting the fabric to be more snug on her arm.
Ragatha sighed, closing her eyes as she flopped down on the pillow. She sighed again when Jax flopped down too, head close to hers.
“I hate this stupid body. It never feels right.”
“What do you mean?” He tugged on a curl, swirling it over his finger.
“Things don’t hurt! Or I can feel things too much, or too little. It’s never a balance.” She couldn’t feel the cold of the snow, but she felt the weight of its strength, burrowed deep within her.
“Keep going,” Jax kicked his feet up eagerly, as if he was gossiping at a sleepover.
“I look almost right, but my fingers don’t separate, I have no toes, I’m so close but so wrong. I know I should be grateful I’m not something like, like…” Ragatha trailed off.
“A furry or a chess piece?” Jax helpfully supplied.
Ragatha giggled, feeling guilty as she did so. “Yeah, that.”
Jax nuzzled the hand she laid upon his head.
“I see a pretty rag dolly in front of me. She might not be perfect, but hey, no one is! Except for me!” He continued, dodging her gentle swats.
“But she’s so pretty because she’s imperfect. She tries so hard to do good, she forgets about herself, and that just won’t do. I won’t allow it.”
He placed his hands on either side of her head, his body lowering over hers as he stared into Ragatha’s eye.
She had begun to cry once more, his declaration too much for her to handle.
“You know what else I won’t allow dolly?” Jax asked, thumbing at her tears.
“What?”
“You leaving me. If you put me through that again I won’t be so forgiving next time. Understand?” His gaze intense, a threat hidden in his words.
Ragatha smiled. No matter how mischievous he could be, they were tied together. Destined to go through this hell hole hand in hand.
“Cross my heart, hope to die.”
Jax pulled back, his brow furrowing upwards.
“Okay, I see why that’s not very funny. Don’t say that.”
“You stupid bunny, shut up and kiss me.” Ragatha found herself saying, leaning up to search for him.
Jax stared at her in schock, before swiftly leaning down to meet her. His hands slid to her wrist, holding them down securely when their lips connected.
Jax tugged her bottom lip between his teeth, to which she opened, allowing him inside. Their tongues brushed, pressing against one another experimentally.
Ragatha moaned when Jax rubbed her leg, pushing herself into his offering hand, to which he pulled away hastily.
She blinked, staring at the space he left before he came back into view.
“I’m sorry toots, it’s been a long few days. I don’t wanna start something till your one hundred, y’know?” Jax said apologetically.
Ragatha whined as he peppered her face in soft kisses, following the hand she covered her face with.
“C’mon, where’s my pretty doll?” He teased, pulling her hand away, to which he kissed as well.
“We’ll do more later Ragatha. Let’s rest for now hm? C’mon.”
Ragatha allowed herself to be swept up, placed against Jax’s chest as he tucked his arms around her waist, successfully anchoring her to him.
This time when Ragatha closed her eyes, she held onto the warmth she felt from her bunny, knowing it would be there when she woke up.
She decided to take Jax’s advice. The next day she stayed in bed to do nothing but relax. Ragatha somehow found that the hardest thing she’d done recently.
The other members of the circus took to visiting her. Caine deciding he would throw a big feast to celebrate her rousing.
Zooble came to see her in the morning, resting a hand on her shoulder as they pushed Jax off the bed. Expressing their gratitude over seeing her okay. Ragatha beamed tearfully over Jax’s
grumpy cursing below the bed.
Kinger arrived at lunch, bringing her a plate stacked to the top. He rested on the bed while the others were away on an adventure, bringing with him a special edition book on butterflies. It was wonderful, causing Ragatha to be reminded of days long past she spent with Queenie. Looking into the calm eyes Kinger had that day, Ragatha believed he thought so too. They spent the afternoon reading together beneath a self made pillow fort.
Gangle had been allowed to visit her throughout the day, checking to make sure she was comfortable. It was something Ragatha wasn’t used to, to being the one checked on, instead of the one checking. It made her elated nonetheless.
Pomni paid her a visit as well, gifting her striped blankets and warm socks. The jester embraced her, confessing she was scared the doll would not rise. Ragatha held her, soothing her with a hand on her hat, missing Pomni’s flustered cheeks. Pomni regaled her about their latest adventure, a hairdressing salon which caused Jax’s fur to be bleached blond. Ragatha cackling at the blackmailing photo Pomni showed her.
The last to see her surprised her to no end, for it was the ringmaster of the circus himself! Appearing in Jax’s room so suddenly she startled from the book she was reading.
“Dear Ragatha, hello!” Caine boomed.
Ragatha placed her book down, using the dragonfly bookmarks given to her by Kinger.
“Caine! To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?” She chirped.
When she first arrived, Caine was something of a nightmare to look upon. With strong teeth framing his face, and a long expressive tongue, Ragatha feared him beyond belief.
Now, she found herself taking comfort in his somewhat silly appearance. Ragatha kept that to herself however.
“My dear, I’ve come to check how you are! Are you feeling better?” Caine’s clothes changed, a robe covering his suit with a stethoscope replacing his bow tie.
“Tell doctor Caine all about it! I wanna know every detail!” Doctor Caine gushed, motioning to listen to her candy heart.
Ragatha laughed, his eyes boggling as he neared.
“It’s okay Caine! I’m feeling much better, thanks to everyone’s help.”
It was true! She would never feel perfect, but things had been wonderful the past day, and she relished in the feeling.
Still, Caine placed his hand on her forehead, clucking his tongue.
“A fever! We must have you remain in bed indefinitely!” With a wave of his hand, the blanket snatched Ragatha up, securing her to the bed.
Yelping, the doll huffed before staring up at the ceiling. She sat herself up, smiling at Caine tiredly.
“Caine, what’s this really about?”
Caine floundered, his doctor getup disappearing as he batted his hands around.
“I don’t know what you're talking about!”
“Caine~” Ragatha sang sweetly.
Caine threw his hands up. “Fine I’ll tell you! Stop ambushing me!”
Ragatha was released from her blanket prison, instead being tucked in snuggly across her lap.
She patted the bedside, shifting as he floated himself down.
“So,” Ragatha began.
Caine sighed, twiddling his thumbs.
“My dear, ever since you’ve arrived here, you’ve been such a positive light! You always have a smile upon your face, one that seldom dims. You were very hurt by my adventure, and that smile stopped shining. I cannot help but fear it was my fault.” His head? Er, was low, hanging down.
Was the circus glitchy? Yes. It could be filled with certain bugs hanging about from time to time. Something Jax liked to exploit. Were adventures often tiring and trying at best? Yes. But that adventure had, for the most part, been enjoyable. One of the best days so far in their digital world.
Even if the ice had shattered, the time leading up to it was a day Ragatha treasured, one she wouldn’t forget anytime soon.
She took his gloved hand, holding it in hers. Caine looked up, an almost helpless look to his face. It must have been odd to see her a truly motionless rag doll. To be denied fixing her because of an angry desperate rabbit.
“Caine, I don’t want you to feel bad. Despite falling in, and drowning, I had a lot of fun!” Ragatha confessed.
Caine perked up, his eyes crinkling as his eyes widened.
“Truly? Did you all have fun together?”
“We did! We had a snowball fight, we went sledding! Heck, we even made snow angels! Zooble and Jax even kinda got along a little!” She grasped his hands tightly, wiping away the tear that leaked down his mouth.
“My dear, that is splendid news! I’m still very sorry, but I’m glad something good could come of it.”
Ragatha beamed, squeezing his hands before letting go.
“Is it still up and running? You did a great job at making it realistic.” She asked curiously. Maybe a little too realistic, but still.
Caine pulled a sour expression at that.
“It seems your rabbit found it fit for our winter wonderland to be removed! He threatened me until I sent it all away.”
Ragatha paused at that. Her bunny really had been on a spree! Her heart warmed at the gesture, a fuzzy feeling that made her grin so much she feared her stitches would pull.
“I see! Well, how about you put it back? Just for a little while. I’d like to have another snow day I think.”
Caine positively glowed, though not like Kinger, and zoomed up.
“My dear, consider it done! Anything for my favourite circus member!”
“I’m your favourite?!” Ragatha squeaked.
Caine gasped, his hands flying to cover his mouth.
“Bubble! You can’t pick favourites!”
Ragatha glanced around. “Bubble isn’t even here!”
Caine bowed, twirling his cane as he teleported away.
“Can’t talk now my dear! I have another winter wonderland to plan!”
Shaking her head, Ragatha picked up her book to continue.
Later that evening, Ragatha felt her stay in Jax’s room must come to an end. It had been enjoyable, and it would be in the future. For now, she needed time to settle back into her old space.
The doll remained fearful, picturing the slimy texture she felt when she was last in her room.
Upon arriving, Ragatha noticed there to be a lack of centipedes. In fact, it appeared to be colourful paper folded together with a single green piece hanging down.
Puzzled, Ragatha turned the pieces over until it hit her. They were paper flowers! The glue had not yet been dry when she touched them.
“Oh my gosh, was he trying to tell me the whole time? I must not have been paying attention- agh f#€£er!” Ragatha screamed as a centipede fell out.
It may have been a gummy centipede, but a centipede nonetheless.
Smiling, she shook her head. She would make Jax pay.
“Really everyone, this isn’t necessary!” Ragatha gushed, a flustered red to her cheeks.
“Nonsense, we don’t want you getting sick again!” Kinger placed a spare robe over her already over-dressed form.
“I don’t know if this is such a good idea.” Pomni cautioned.
“We should just blow the whole thing off.” Zooble grumbled into their jacket.
“I think so too. I dunno why that idiot brought it back.” Jax sneezed, his paw wrapping around the rag doll’s arm.
Gangle rolled her eyes, walking out of the tent into the cold.
“Ragatha wanted this Jax, that’s why.”
Jax grumbled, fixing the scarf around Ragatha’s neck. He seems to be in a mother hen phase. Something so different it still gave Ragatha whiplash. She couldn’t say she minded however.
Indeed they were having their second snow day. Dressed head to toe, Ragatha was concealed in layers to shield her from the snow. She was grateful, but felt that two layers of everything was overkill.
They spent the day much like the previous. Laughing as Jax got turned into a snow bunny, or when Pomni finally decided to make a snow angel.
There was an unspoken agreement to stay away from the ice. Ragatha wanted to protest, and so she did. When she got a determined look from Pomni, or brow raise from Zooble. A stern look from Gangle, an arm wrapped around her waist snuggly from her bunny, and a Kinger blocking her path, she let it go.
Life was not perfect in the digital circus. It was cruel and unforgiving. Ragatha didn’t know if she would ever be at peace with herself, but she knew she wasn’t alone. Gazing at her friends, she knew that today would be okay.
Fin