first day
King’s Cross looked like it always did. The light shined through the skylights above, the tint of which made the brick walls appear more vibrant than ever. It was easy to distinguish the kids going to Hogwarts from those who were not. Safe to say, if they have some kind of animal with them they’re most likely a wizard. His eyes fall on Bryn, back turned against him as he pushes his cart across the station. Gareth was sitting inside his messenger back, staring straight at James. The older Potter scrunches his nose at the cat in a “You-don’t-scare-me” gesture, to which the black cat responded with a slow blink–something James came to learn meant “I love you.” He smiles back at Gareth.
“Do Animagi have the ability to psychically communicate with animals or are you finally off your rocker?” A voice beside him speaks. Much like James, Severus had his eyes affixed on his son, gaze soft and tender.
“Neither. I just have a special bond with Gareth that no one will ever understand.” James quips.
“I see. Second to Bryn I assume?” Severus turns his head to look at the Gryffindor. Lips tugged up in a smirk.
“Of course.” James smiles with all his teeth.
It’s September 1st, their Son’s first day in Hogwarts. A week prior, Severus and Bryn traveled to James’ house in London to prepare what he needed for school and to make it easier to get to the train station. The word Ecstatic couldn’t even contain the giddiness that James felt when Severus actually took him up on his offer. Remus described him as acting like a kid on Christmas day. Sirius rolled his eyes and told him he looked like a teen who scored his first date. Whatever he seemed to be, it can only really approximate the pure happiness coursing through his veins.
Since his first meeting with his son, James’ days were spent trying to figure out the role he could take in Bryn’s life as well as fostering a proper relationship with Severus. There wasn’t a proper label for it, not yet. The duo acknowledges him as Bryn’s dad, sure, but James can not shake off the feeling that it was just on a biological basis. Otherwise, he is no better than a close family friend.
His relationship with Severus was jankier than the ramshackle Jackson’s Potions shop. He says that he loves Slytherin any time he can but it always falls on deaf ears. ‘Saying it all willy-nilly makes you seem disingenuous.’ Remus would scold him in the middle of a drunken rant ‘Just because I can say it easily doesn’t mean it means less than what it is.’ He answers back, probably more slurred than how he remembers saying. Fortunately, Severus has been open about most things. He never rejects James’ whenever he randomly shows up on their doorstep. He allows James to take Bryn out to London. He has been more than amicable during Business meetings with Potter’s Potions, joining him and Remus for drinks sometimes. What Severus avoids, however, is what James wants most: A date with just the two of them. He always finds an excuse when James asks him out. Citing anything from brewing a potion to “bringing the cats out for sunlight.”Baloney, James thinks.
“So, Severus. After this, care to grab a cup of tea with me?” The Gryffindor’s will is unyielding. At this point, James is more excited to hear what kind of finicky excuse Severus is going to come up with on the fly.
“Sure.”
James had to tilt his head and shake it to make sure nothing was stuck in his ears.
“Are you retracting the offer James? You don’t seem too pleased with my answer.”
The Gryffindor stutters out a no, prompting a laugh from the Slytherin. Bryn turns his head to see the commotion behind him, squinting at his parents and scolding them in jest for “flirting around during his momentous day.” The two parents just looked at each other and with one look they played a lovey-dovey act just to mess with their son. Bryn kept his eyes locked on his cart, stifling an occasional chuckle. James had to power through the specks of ache at the fact that the Slytherin only reciprocates his romantic advances when it’s all in the name of a joke. Severus really has the knack to bring out the insecure teen in him.
The Gryffindor held his breath when he stood in front of the column between platforms 9 and 10. A peek at Slytherin’s expression, mouth slightly parted and fixed on the wall as if he’s looking at a long-lost friend, somehow affirmed what he was feeling. Which was a mixture of familiarity, weirdness, and the undeniability that he is finally
“Old.” The Slytherin whispers to himself “I feel old.” he says a little louder, inviting James in but making sure that Bryn doesn’t hear.
James nods. He’s passed through the platform a couple of times, oftentimes not really thinking about it. When he does take the time to think about it, the vibrancy of his schoolboy memories grew dimmer and dimmer as the years went on. Being with his son on his first day at Hogwarts seemed to solidify everything. His teenage self was eons away, only making his presence known through the Slytherin next to him. Otherwise, he might as well be a different person.
Bryn, lacking sentimentality with the platform, had a grimace in his face. He turns to look at his Pa, and then Prongs, with his browns turned downward.
“I have to ram straight into that wall?” He asks.
“Yep.” James answers, popping the last letter of the word. “Full force.”
Bryn decides not to respond to his Dad and turns to Severus for aid.
“Can’t I just calmly walk through it like a civilized man?”
“Nope.” James intervenes “Running straight into it is part of the fun Bryn! Think of it as a rite of passage.”
“But you told me that the Sorting Hat was the Rite of Passage.”
“The Rite to the Rite of Passage, then.”
“Pa” The boy whines in desperation “You shouldn’t have run into this thing in your first year, right? So I should follow in your footsteps as your one and only and beloved Son.”
Severus smiles softly before answering bluntly “Sorry Bryn, I ran as well. Straight after your Aunt Lily.”
James felt his lips tug up into a big smile at the thought of 11-year-old Severus running through the column. With trousers that reached the floor and shoes that were inches larger than his feet, he wonders if Severus ever had problems running with them. Was there a slight slip to his step before he finally got his bearing and gained enough momentum? Was the excitement of going to Hogwarts overpowering enough to make him pay no attention to it? How big was the smile on his face?
Bryn lets out an exaggerated groan before gripping either side of the cart handles and rolling his shoulders. He turns to his parents one last time, confirming if Gareth won’t get hurt in the process before pulling his cart back a step and running with full force straight into the wall.
When their child passes through, the Gryffindor and the Slytherin deflate in comedic synchronicity. James’ parents had never told him how heart-racing the split second before your kid hit the wall really is. In that split-second, James’ brain fired every neuron possible to make up scenarios where Bryn gets hurt from the process of running into the platform. Even though he has entered through that wall for 7 years straight, the slim possibility of his child getting hurt still choked the air out of James’ lungs. Up until Bryn finally passes through, of course, when he finally learns how to breathe again. Judging by how Severus seems to also be catching his breath, James was sure that he felt it too. Maybe even tenfold.
The Gryffindor pats the Slytherin on the shoulder. “We should run after him.”
“Might I remind you that we are not 11 years old?”
“It’s in solidarity with our one and only and beloved son.”
“Who is 11, an age that we are not.”
“I know,” James rolls his eyes and grabs Severus by the wrist “We’re 28, which means–”
“We’re too old?”
“Old enough to do what we want!”
James tugs Severus’ arm in an attempt to convince the Slytherin. Nonetheless, the Gryffindor was smart enough not to force Severus to run with him, so he let go before turning his back. What he hadn’t expected was the Slytherin chasing after his retreating hand, interlocking their fingers together before they went into a full sprint. With Severus right behind him, they run into Platform 93/4ths
The first time James ever stepped foot on the platform was when he tagged along to drop off the daughter of a family friend who, much like Bryn, stayed in their London house a week before starting in Hogwarts. He remembers it being so huge; that the platform somehow stretched up until the edge of the earth. Impractical, but for a Nine year old it felt possible. When his mother held on to him when he attempted to climb the Hogwarts Express, he threw a huge tantrum. He wanted so badly to see the inside, to talk to all the young wizards and befriend them all. He couldn’t wait for 2 more years. But of course, he had to. And he did. And on the year that he was allowed to finally board the train, a small sickly-looking boy said the words “I want to be a Slytherin” too proudly for his liking. Somehow, that prideful Slytherin he dedicated 7 years of his life to hating, led to him meeting the bluntest, most relaxed 11-year-old boy that he could no longer imagine living without.
Thus sums up the ever-so-complicated story of two incredibly simple people, James and Severus.
“I’m not the only one who feels like this place is smaller now, right?” He strikes up.
“Nope. This place might as well be a broom closet.” Severus answers.
“What are you both talking about, this place is huge! I feel like the platform is as long as the Great Wall.” Bryn was looking at them, one hand still holding his cart steady so as to not get caught by the bustling crowd.
“Maybe for someone who’s 3 feet tall.” James quips.
“I am 4 foot 5!”
“4 foot 4.” Severus corrects.
“Pa!” Bryn whines.
“4 foot 4 and a half.”
“You know what, I am boarding the train.”
James immediately notices a change in Severus’ demeanor. He leaned back ever so slightly with his eyebrows raised and his lips parted. James felt an acute need to step in.
“You really want to leave your poor precious dad already, bud? Don’t you want to savor your last moments with me?” James says but Bryn just rolls his eyes at him before letting go of his cart to head toward Severus.
“Pa, rip it quickly like a bandaid.”
“I know.”
Severus crouches and tenderly wraps his arms around Bryn who reciprocates the gesture. The Slytherin buries his head in the crook of his neck, muttering words that James was too far to understand. Bryn just nodded, whispering an answer or two. They held each other for a while before Bryn turned his head to James and gestured for him to join. James grimaced, communicating that he shouldn’t really be intruding in the moment. But Bryn furrows his brows and gestured with his head to hurry up.
For a moment James felt like an uncoordinated fawn taking its first steps. He awkwardly crouches down, not knowing cupping the father and son duo in either of his arms.
“I’ll be fine,” Bryn asks in a tone that’s both a question and an answer.
“You’ll be fine.” Severus echoes in the same ambiguous tone.
“You’ll be fine,” James repeats in the firmest way he could muster. He believes it, with all his intrepidness. The Gryffindor pats both of their backs before letting go.
“Before you board. I must do one thing,” he announces.
“What is it?” Severus asks.
James pulls out a camera. Severus’ face is unamused.
“I always pegged you as the Photographee type, not the Photographer.”
“What? Can’t a beautiful man have his artistic side?”
“Just take the photograph.”
Severus remained crouched down to Bryn’s level. They both looked languidly at the camera, only smiling when James had finally counted down to 1.
When Bryn finally loaded all of his luggage onto the train, he took one last look at his parents. He shot James a look, eyes filled with intensity. James knew exactly what Bryn was asking from him. The older assured his son with a slight nod.
Bryn smiled, one that showcased one of his snaggletooth in full view. He waved at both his parents before turning his back on them for the final time. James and Severus watched him until he disappeared into the crowd of Hogwarts students, old and young, aboard the express.
The Gryffindor was the first one to direct his gaze back to Severus who still seems to be following Bryn’s figure with his eyes. James kept watching until he saw his eyes tremble, signaling that he finally lost track of his son. He blinked a few times before looking straight at James.
Then his eyes welled up with tears.
At the snap of a finger, James immediately shot up towards the Slytherin and pulled him towards a less crowded area. As they walked, Severus began to unravel, breaking into sobs that James couldn’t figure out if it was getting louder due to its intensity or due to the thinning crowd. All James could know for sure was that he didn’t like it.
They stop by a column that is obscured from any prying eyes. Severus had his back on the wall while James stood directly in front of him, one arm braced against the wall to act as a partition.
Severus rests his cheek on James' arms, eyes closed while trying to stifle his sniffles.
“You’ll be fine,” James repeats one more time.
James was in the middle of annotating a report when he heard a faint knock coming from the door. He mutters a charm and the door flung open. By its frame stood a small figure with a single cat weaved around his legs. James invited his son inside the room, pulling out a stool by his desk for the boy to sit on.
“Did you come to learn the ways of a salesman young Bryn?”
“No way.”
“Aw, C’mon now don’t you want to inherit Potter’s Potions one day?”
“You mean to say Potter’s Potions’ salesman division.”
“Your uncle Remmie really likes you so you might as well just inherit the whole company.”
“Not my thing, sorry.”
James lets out an exaggerated pained sound.
“You’re crushing your precious father’s dreams right now Bryn. Do you hear the cracks forming in my feeble little heart?”
“Quit the theatrics Prongs I’m here to ask you something.”
“Alright.” James gathers all his paperwork into a neat pile before continuing “What is it?”
Bryn took out a leatherbound book and placed it neatly on James’ desk.
“A notebook?”
“Close, it’s an album.”
Bryn gives the cue for James to flip through the album. Other than the yellowing of the edges of the page, the album was in pristine condition. The frames were untouched and the pages did not have a single crinkle on them. Save for the last page which has an old picture of a young Severus and someone who seemed to be his mom.
“That’s Grandma, her name’s Eileen. Have you met her?”
James shakes his head “No. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in passing.”
“Shame. I guess we’re the same.”
“Oh.” was all James could say. He tends not to pry when it comes to Severus. Not outright, at least. All he knows about Severus’ relationship with his parents comes from inference rather than from explicit statements.
“But that isn’t the point, Prongs. This book—“ Bryn places a palm on top of its cover “was with Pa’s Hogwarts stuff in the attic. He decided to give it to me when we found it.”
James hums.
“He told me he bought it way back when he was in his first year as his first major purchase.”
Ah.
And it ended up unused. There’s really nothing else to say about the tragedy of a book designed to be filled with happy memories to be devoid of photographs.
“What I’m saying,” Bryn pats the cover again “Is that I’m worried.”
“That you’ll end up alone in Hogwarts?”
“What? No!” Bryn snaps his fingers in between James’ head “For Pa.”
“The longest time we’ve ever been apart was 3 days, you know? Other than that it had always been just me and him. Then you,”
“Me?”
“Yeah, then you.”
There was a beat between the father and son before Bryn continued.
“Prongs I need you to make sure that he’ll be fine.”
As if it needed more confirming, Bryn was a Hufflepuff through and through and James could not be prouder.
“I will.”
Bryn smiles as he slides the photo album towards himself. “Good, it’s a deal then?”
“It’s a deal.”
Severus sat across from James, arms braced on his thighs and head bowed down. James stayed quiet, just muttering a heating charm from time to time to make sure that Severus’ tea did not go cold.
“-rry” the Slytherin chokes out. “I expected a tear or two but not this. I can’t turn it off.”
“Such is the plight of Parenthood.”
“Shut up.” Severus says in between a sob and a laugh “I feel like I lost a limb—and—is it possible to feel homesick when you’re not even the one away from home?”
“You’re each other’s home. Of course, you feel homesick.”
“Well, it sucks. I’m supposed to be the adult here and I couldn’t even hold my tears before the train chugged its first chug and chooed it’s first choo.”
James couldn’t stifle his laugh at the absurdity of Severus’ statement.
“I truly lost it. Maybe I should’ve just applied as a potions professor at Hogwarts.”
“Bryn would hate it.”
“You don’t know that.”
“No child ever wants their parent as a professor and I adore my Dad as much as Bryn does you.”
“Point taken.”
In the middle of their bickering, Severus’ tears had finally calmed down and he took his first sip from the tea that James kept warm.
“What do I do now?” He asks.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know.” Severus furrows his brows, completely confused with his own line of thinking. “I don’t know.” He repeats.
“Maybe,” James attempts to take over “We can finally fix the leaking pipes? We can start with that.”
“What business does a Potioneer and a Salesman have to do with plumbing?”
“Well, I can sell it a case of potions at a really good price.”
“I yearn for the day you take things seriously.”
“How hard can fixing a pipe be? We’ll figure it out.”
“Sure.”
“I need some enthusiasm if we’re going to be a team.”
“Sure.” He repeats in the same monotonous voice.
“And the second course of action? The floors.”
“Then the Roof.”
“Then the skewed sign. The next thing we know the entire shop is brand new.”
“Bryn is going to be so upset, he likes the ruggedness of the shop.”
“We’ll leave a creak and a leak or two for posterity. Don’t worry about it, leave it all up to James the carpenter.” James flexes his biceps and slaps it with his other hand.
“And what next?”
“Next of what? Fixing the shop?”
Severus nods.
“Then I’d visit. Because I have to gaze at my handiwork!”
Severus tries to hide a smile behind his cup “I see, it’s a plan then.”
James felt a little flustered, he tried to hide his elation by pursing his lips yet a smile still crept through. “I may have a huge crush on you Sev. Even though we’re I’m too old for schoolboy crushes, I just…” he confesses, and the Slytherin snickered in response “-have one.” he finishes quickly.
“Old enough,” Severus follows “to do whatever you want.”
James lets himself smile this time, “I guess you’re right.”