saviour complex

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
F/M
G
saviour complex
Summary
Lily Evans is sick, sick of feeling like an outsider, sick of the pressure to prove she's more than her blood status and sick of herself. She wanted to be good enough to be accepted. James Potter has been totally infatuated with Lily Evans since he saw her during their first year at Hogwarts. He would love to watch her doing the things that made her Lily like how she would try to make conversation with house elves or comfort homesick first years or would carry a book everywhere. He noticed when she started staring off into the distance more than usual or tapped her fingers around her wrist anxiously. He watched her slowly fade. James has to fix this because isn't that what he does?
Note
TW: homophobia, depression, dissociation, panic attacks, anorexia, eating disorders, PTSD, abuse , harassment.☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ To see how characters are imagined @floraisasleep on pinterest
All Chapters Forward

Chapter 11

After the first week of fifth year.
The work had already started to pile quite high.
Lily had had two tests already in Defence against the dark arts and arithmetic.
She was waiting on her results for both.
She felt fairly confident in Defence against the dark arts but numbers were never her strong suit. She had only taken the class because of her parents and well..Snape.

"Are there any other sorts of magazines in muggle shops?" Marlene asked slightly bored.

As Mary and Molly flicked through a cosmo magazine.

"Yeah but you can't beat Cosmo." Mary said nonchalantly.
"Are the other magazines all like this?"
Molly asked fascinated.

"Some are I guess." Mary responded .

"I don't know who half these people are." Marlene said exhausted. Being a pureblood Mary's obsession with Celebrities was about as much exposure as Marlene got to the non magic world.

"There's more than that to them." Mart started flicking through and reading headlines. "Twiggy reveals favourite eyeshadow." "Top trends in London for fall" "How to lose 10 pounds in a week."

"What's that last one say." Laughed Molly.
"I could probably do with some tips. I weighed myself the other day on the scale and I'm up 5 pounds from stressing about 7th year."
"Though Arthur just said there was more of me to love when I told him" She giggled.

"We'll step number one says to start to exercise an hour daily." Mary rolled her eyes
"Who's got the time?" She responded to herself.

Mary. Mary had an awful lot of time quite frankly as she barely did homework and wasn't a part of any clubs. But she certainly didn't need to lose any weight.
So Lily didn't think it made a difference to point out her abundance of spare time.

Curfew was called just as Lily finished her chapter.
She loved it when that happened.
Once the three girls were upstairs Lily thought about what Molly had said.
It had never really occurred to her to weigh herself.
She knew there was a scale in the bathroom but no one had bothered to use it in the last 5 years.
Maybe if she weighed herself she could lose around 5 pounds to do up her uniform.

That shouldn't take long to do.
I mean 5 pounds isn't very much. If she just stayed healthy and off sweets she would be sorted in no time.

After Mary came out of the bathroom Lily went in.
Mary always liked to take her time before bed to oil her hair and and take off her makeup.
Lily supposed it worked because Mary always looked stunning.

She got in and pulled the scale from under the sink cabinet.
It had a layer of dust on top and she wasn't sure if it would even work still.

She stepped on and read the number.
116lbs
It was more than she thought she weighed.
She was always on the short side around 5'4.
She guessed she probably weighed around 100lbs in summer.

She looked into the bathroom mirror inspecting herself in her nightgown.

She supposed her checks were a bit fuller.
And she looked, softer overall.

Lily was never vain. She never paid much attention to her appearance before.
But 5 pounds would be easy to lose.

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