saviour complex

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
F/M
G
saviour complex
Summary
Lily Evans is sick, sick of feeling like an outsider, sick of the pressure to prove she's more than her blood status and sick of herself. She wanted to be good enough to be accepted. James Potter has been totally infatuated with Lily Evans since he saw her during their first year at Hogwarts. He would love to watch her doing the things that made her Lily like how she would try to make conversation with house elves or comfort homesick first years or would carry a book everywhere. He noticed when she started staring off into the distance more than usual or tapped her fingers around her wrist anxiously. He watched her slowly fade. James has to fix this because isn't that what he does?
Note
TW: homophobia, depression, dissociation, panic attacks, anorexia, eating disorders, PTSD, abuse , harassment.☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ To see how characters are imagined @floraisasleep on pinterest
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chapter 4

The boys opened the door to the first train carriage they saw and were greeted by a beaming Peter.
"There you are!" The smaller boy exclaimed
"I saved us this cart" he announced proudly.
"Cheers Pete" James gave him an appreciative smile
"Hey Wormtail" Sirius nodded.
A few minutes in the conversation began to flow as the boys exchanged the pleasantries of their summer.
James was very worried about Pete asking too many questions about why Sirius stayed at his.
Luckily Peter was too carried away talking about his trip to America to visit his sister Philomena.
"Lads the food over in America is nothing at all like it is here!! Deep-fried chocolate frogs and Bertie bots beans milkshakes. It was fantastic. Mum let us eat out nearly every day!"

"I can see that" joked Sirius giving Peter a playful dig.

"Oi mum says I'm a growing boy" Pete pouted

"Growing sideways maybe"

"Leave off Sirius " James laughed

Before Sirius had finished laughed the door opened.

Remus.

James noticed he had gotten a lot taller not that he thought that possible.
Remus was already a good 1 inch taller than him last year.
Now he had shot up again The bastard.
Probably about 6'5.
He had also gotten broader and looked nothing like the lanky 15 year old 4th year they all knew.
But it wasn't only this growth spurt James noticed but Remus was dressed very strangely.

James didn't know much about muggle fashion but Remus was dressed like those punk band people in the magazines.
With big black boots and short hair.

Well cool.

"You got taller again you prick" James smiled.

He looked to Sirius who was simply staring.
In what could only be described as awe.
He was carefully eyeing Remus with a moony expression.

James figured it was the muggle clothes.
They did look pretty odd

 

"Heya" Remus said almost sheepishly.
His voice was far deeper.

He sat himself down next to James and across from Sirius.

The boys all started hurling questions at him about his new look.
He answered dryly not seeming too keen to be the centre topic of discussion.

After roughly 15 minutes of this the door opened again.

Standing at it was Lily Evans.
Lily Evans was a Gryffindor too and in the boys' year.
James was entirely taken with her since second year. Though it actually started in first.
Lily had always been extremely pretty.
With big green eyes and long auburn hair.
At first James thought it was fun to tease her because she tried so hard in classes and hung out with a creepy Slytherin.
But after about a year of pissing her off her realised he mostly just wanted her attention.

She was the most amazing witch he had ever met.
She was so clever and kind to almost everyone (apart from him with fair reason).
James persistently pursued her for the next 3 years to no avail.
He knew he made a fool of himself.
But honestly he couldn't help it.
He was usually so charming but Lily made him act like an idiot.

And here she was for the first time in 3 months.
And my god did she look beautiful.
James could swear he'd never seen a prettier girl.
Her hair had grown even longer over summer and her face had a kind of glow.
She was in her uniform skirt and shirt
and she looked so cute.
It showed off her figure very nicely but James tried not to stare.

"Heya Evans" he couldn't help stupidly grinning.

"Oh sorry wrong carriage" she blurted and shut the door once again.

Poor James was practically starstruck.

"Good god check out the Hips on Evans!"
Sirius said breaking the silence

"I could see her bra!" Peter piped

"Oh shut up can you not" James hated hearing them talk about Lily like that. Was that really all they noticed?

 

"Sorry Prongs we forgot you are in loooove with her" Sirius mocked
He can be such a prat sometimes James thought.

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